How the Mighty Fall (in Love)
by Freekiellie
Summary: It's a whirlwind of events one after another with the mightiest soldier and his subordinate, Lena. He's troubled- unlikely to show any sort of emotion for any sort of person. She's got a few problems of her own and has that annoying trait of always creating more. If the mighty falls in love, how will it end? [LEVIXOC] FINISHED.
1. NAMELESS FLOWERS 1

****AN: Short fact file on my OC Lena, just for those who need a visual image at the start: 20 years old, dark brown eyes and light brown hair. Just finished her three years training. Slightly shorter than Levi. ****

****NAMELESS FLOWERS PART 1****

Wearily, I watched the leaves skip across the grass and skitter past me. The wind tugged at my hair as I woke from a dream-like state, body still heavy as I sat up. I lay back onto nature's soft pillow and let the blades of grass tickle my ear. I had to rest my head on its side to avoid knocking the clip on the back of my head which was holding my hair securely in a bun. I chose to look towards the left, watching the birds soar at eye level. It's not often that the birds are flying at the same height that you're laying. I was atop a hill that looked down onto the terrifying structure they call the HQ. Just the sight of its huge walls with green ivy scrambling up the stones makes me feel weary. The HQ was on my right, hidden away into the dip of a valley. I was looking off towards the left, where no towering walls could block my vision of the endless fields and trees surrounding us.

Peace.

Footsteps.

I sat up quickly to see who was approaching. A silhouette of a short man, no taller than me, was walking up the slope as though he was just doing his morning walk to the canteen... Bearing in mind that the walk to the canteen doesn't involve a practically vertical slope. He hopped from rock to rock, following almost exactly the same route I had to the top. He'd clearly done this many times before- like me. His eyes became clearer and suddenly shot in my direction. The man paused and took in my figure on the hill top.

"Oi, neewbie." He said, his voice reverberating like soft thunder. "Shouldn't you be at the passing out party?" I paused before replying, watching as the sunlight peeked out from behind a cloud and illuminated his sharp features. He was watching me with stern eyes, yet he didn't seem angry.

"I didn't realise it was compulsory...sir?"

"Corporal." The man corrected. I nodded.

"I didn't realise it was compulsory, corporal."

"It isn't." He shrugged and began walking back over to me. "Not interested in partying, then?" I shook my head.

"I don't like loud places... Or loud people." I added. To my surprise, he walked past me and sat on the edge of the hilltop beside me. Now that he was turned away from me, I could see the triangular figure of his back; strong shoulders and narrow hips. A small man made to carry a huge responsibility. Suddenly, I was reminded of something.

"Forgive me for asking, but aren't you Levi heichou?" I asked, turning my body so it was more comfortable to talk to him and lifted my legs into a cross-legged position. He was silent.

"Depends when you're asking." he finally replied. I smiled; I think I understood him.

"What about now then?" I tilted my head to the side and watched the wind sweep through his hair. He took an age to answer again.

"Right now... I'm just Levi." He finally said, his shoulders dropping slightly as he relaxed.

"Well, Levi. I'm Lena. Lena Hertz." He didn't reply. He didn't need to. In that moment, we both understood each other. We had both looked for peace in a world where peace didn't seem to exist. We both just wanted to feel the wind's assurance sweep through us, to watch the birds soar like today was their last day to live. We both could let go of everything in those moments... in only those moments.

I couldn't have known the carnage that would follow this encounter.

****LEVI-****

I woke up. Just like everyday of my life that had passed before now. Still, the view from my window hadn't changed. The branches of the tree outside my window were bare as Autumn's wrath began to suck the life out of nature; a parasite causing the disease of winter to hit.

I sighed and put on my uniform, then I cursed myself under my breath. This year, I'd decided I would quit sighing and huffing and puffing and snorting and all those other derogatory sounds that often escaped my lips when life hit me in the gut. It wasn't working. Nearly ten months into the year and I was still groaning and 'hn'ing.

I opened the window to let some air into my room, before shutting it two minutes later. I couldn't stand how the wind swept through and messed up the paperwork I had so carefully laid out on my desk. My room would have to keep that dank, musky smell for a while longer.

_Knock, knock._ "Heichou?" I rolled my eyes and almost groaned.

"If it's Eren, leave." There was a silence.

_Knock knock_. "Heichou, sorry to bother you but-"

"What's your name?"

"... Eren, sir-"

"Then fuck off. My duties don't officially start until 9:00am and if you've wet the bed, I'm not going to clean it up."

"But sir-" I slammed the door open, revealing to the world my morning face. And if you hadn't guessed, I'm not a morning person. I seemed to have less control over my murderous intent in the mornings. Like a reptile, I was colder in the mornings until the sun had the chance to warm my blood a little.

"This better be worth it." I raised a sceptical eyebrow at him and gave the poor boy my best glare.

"C-commander Erwin wants to speak with you a-about today's duties..." I glanced at my watch.

"It's 7:30am. Breakfast is at 8 and my meeting with Erwin is usually at 9:00. What's the rush?"

"He just asked me to tell you, s-sorry." Eren practically bolted away.

I groaned.

Then I groaned for groaning. This was going to be another long day.

…

"I'm off to the inner walls today which is why I called you early, Levi." Erwin sipped on his morning tea, only serving to piss me off more. I'd had to skip most of my morning routine to get to his damn office for this shitty meeting. He better finish early too, because it was 8:05 and the canteen shut at 8:40. If I missed my breakfast I swear-

"I'd like you to take over for me today, Levi."

"Sure, I love paperwork." I rolled my eyes. Erwin set down his tea and folded his arms.

"No, not today. Today the new cadets are getting acquainted with the horses. There's also the matter of assigning rooms and teams."

"No problem. They can clean the shit holes while they're at it."

"Well, here's the list of what needs to be done. Get Hanji involved on some, too." I took the sheet and glanced over it. It was definitely going to be a long day.

"Enjoy the King's company," I remarked, standing up. Erwin raised a thick eyebrow.

"Any messages you want to pass on?" Wow, a joke. I wasn't expecting that.

"Yeah, tell him that I've got some special 3DMG gear with his name on it, specialised for overweight pigs. He'd make excellent titan food."

"I'll make sure I tell him that." Erwin almost smiled. Almost.

I left the room and made my way to the breakfast hall. 8:15. I could make it.

"LLEEEEVVIIIII!" Or not. Hanji smashed her way down the corridor. Physics seemed to change its rules around this woman. She made a simple footstep reverberate louder than you would think possible for a person of her stature. "Quick! Something happened to Eren!" I just glared at her.

"Can it wait?"

"NO! WE MAY HAVE JUST MADE A GROUND-BREAKING DISCOVERY!" She grabbed my arm and lunged off. Literally lunged. I found myself almost tripping as she yanked me down the corridor. Down the stairs. Out of the building.

"Where the hell are we going, shitty-glasses?"

"Here, he's here!" Her eyes gleamed at me as she pointed at Eren. Eren blinked in surprise.

"What?" I growled.

Eren stood on the patch of grass just outside the main entrance to the HQ. He held a knife in his hand and had Mikasa glowering over his shoulder. For a second, I regarded her, before turning back to Hanji.

"HE HEALED!" Hanji practically leapt about. She circled me, waiting to see my reaction.

"I think I'm missing several minutes worth of information here." I checked my watch. 8:25. I could still make it.

"He HEAALLLEEDD!" Hanji repeated. "IN THREE SECONDS. He cut himself with that knife when chopping a tomato and it HEALED IN THREE SECONDS. I was watching! Usually it takes more then seven seconds for a cut that wide and deep but-"

I switched off. Waiting for any further revelations, then realising I had just wasted precious time to be eating, I turned back to walk to the canteen before my world-renown Thantos was unleashed upon Hanji. Who says I can't control my temper?

"Heichou!" Oh you have got to be shitting me. "Heichou!" A man with cropped blonde hair skittered to a halt before me and saluted. __It's not even time for me to start my duties yet___, _I thought.

"Heichou, one of the horses has gone mad! We can't get it back into the stable!"

"I'm not a fucking horse whisperer, do your own job while I get back to mine!"

"Sir, we really need some assistance!" I glared at him, wishing for real daggers to stab at his eyeballs.

"That canteen better stay open." I spat.

Following him to the horse stables, I was greeted by around ten men all trying to capture a horse bucking and running wildly. I hate disorganisation. Taking in the horse's stature, I saw that it was a relatively young horse. It had probably never even seen a titan yet. These horses were bred to run long distances and come back to their owner no matter what. Although, this one seemed to have ideas of its own. I couldn't blame it.

I ordered the others to get back to work whilst I dealt with the problem. It wasn't particularly hard. You just had to show it who was boss instead of whistling at it for five hours. It whinnied in its stable and trotted restlessly. The horse was clearly very young and was small for its age. I glared at it, wondering how long it would take it to be broken.

"Is this horse safe to give to a new cadet?" I asked the stable officer. Some officer he was. For the entire epidemic, he sat on his fat arse and glowered at everyone. His belly almost punctured his shirt which was tucked into his trousers, strained to the point of transparency. How did he become a soldier? When I turned to him, he spat out whatever was in his mouth and coughed (as though he had only three days to live by the sound of it).

"Should be. It wos fine until this mornin'. And if you can tame it, then it should settl' dahn."

"I don't like the amount of 'should's in that fuckin' sentence. Is it safe or not?" The man scratched his stubble and glared at me.

"Aye. It is." He finally responded.

"Good. If I hear of one of these fuckin' incidents again, you'll be in deeper shit than you can swim in. I don't like getting involved in shit that isn't my fuckin' job." Knowing he was probably raising two dainty fingers behind my back, I strode off.

8:40.

Someone was about to die.

**…**

****LENA-****

We waited, roughly lined up behind the HQ where we always met for the day's activities. Usually, our instructor was late. But now we were no longer in training, fallen in with the rest of the scouting legion; to my surprise, the instructor for the day was bang on time. I even checked my watch to see it was exactly 9am.

My eyes widened briefly, before settling. It was Levi. I had not seen him since we first met upon the hilltop and his expression was definitely scarier... definitely more corporal-like. I guessed the rumours were true then.

He climbed the small wooden stage where the instructor could be seen by all. Following him were a few other instructors and ranks. Everyone fell silent as he glared at us one by one. It wasn't a deliberately threatening gaze, but it had the same effect.

"Existing scouting legion members, move to your squads. Today you'll be training on the obstacle courses." No one moved, expecting a formal dismissal. Levi rolled his eyes and breathed out sharply. "NOW." People began to hastily move. The new cadets gave each other puzzled glances and shuffled together. I held back and kept my eyes trained on Levi.

"Right, brats. I'm in charge today. Erwin has left me a list of your squads, so we'll do that first. You will have ten minutes for your instructor to introduce himself..." Levi paused as a woman behind him coughed. She was the only woman there; glasses, red hair and a smirk hinting slightly more than eccentricity. "I'll take over Erwin's squad for today." I noticed he didn't change his words. "Rest assured, none of you brats will have made it into my team." His eyes danced along the members of the crowd once more, until finally they rested upon me. We shared eye contact as his glance paused. Neither of us smiled. Eventually, his gaze drifted off again and he turned to the woman who handed him a list, whilst pouting something to him. I caught the words 'titan' and 'three seconds', but Levi just 'tch'ed and faced us again.

He began reading out the names of people in different squads. My name came just before the middle. I was in Erwin's squad.

"If any of you brats are good enough, you might be moved into my squad. I hand-pick my members and I don't like crowds, so don't bet on it." _Like anyone would want a sadist in charge._ "We're promoting a new squad member who will take over Erwin's group. Squad leaders, you have ten minutes. Go." Immediately, everyone began to shuffle in different directions and the volume cautiously rose.

"Lena!" someone called. I span around. "We're both in Erwin's group." It was Guthrie Eisenberg. Behind him followed Kurt Jung. I knew them well from my training days and it had been just yesterday when I'd last spoken to them. Guthrie was tall, fair haired and had a square jaw. He was built like a rugby player and as far as I knew, he was around when the titans first invaded. He'd seen the same hell I'd seen. Kurt was the opposite. He was quite tall too, but he had brown hair that he repeatedly swept back off his face. He was a very cheerful guy and a great person to be around when you wanted cheering up.

Nodding in reply, I joined them to walk over to Levi. There was a clear height difference between the two lads and Levi, but Levi didn't seem to notice (or care). They stood just in front of him, towering over him like Wall Maria. When we had all gathered, around fifteen men and women hovered around Levi. Levi sniffed and wrinkled his nose.

"You all stink." There was an awkward pause as Levi stepped back before speaking again; this time he was louder. "I don't know how long Erwin is away. Until then, you have me. I'm corporal Levi. Not Levi. Never commander. Just call me heichou. If you forget that, then prepare to have your throat cut out so that you can't make the same mistake twice." His expression never changed while saying this. He folded his arms and glared at us again. "Any questions?"

Silence.

"Good, because questions can only mean you weren't listening. Lesson one of life." And with that, he strode away and remounted the stage. Everyone fell silent again. "Your first job." His voice was husky and low; he didn't need to shout when people would listen to him without question. "It's an important job." Kurt glanced at me and Guthrie excitedly. "You will all be cleaning this shit hole from bottom to top and back to the bottom again. Your rooms will be assigned by your squad leaders. Every room on every floor must be spotless before you report to your squad leader. If your squad leader is happy, then report to me. The last to finish is put on cleaning duty for a week. The first to finish will have done it wrong, so do it again."

I was beginning to learn just how messed up, yet so straight-forward Levi's logic was. Do as you're told and do it right. Or else.

**…**

Two hours later. The rooms on our squad's floor were practically sparkling. A fresh breeze swept the hallways and the bathrooms smelt nicer than they had probably ever been. But Guthrie was quivering; it was quite a sight. A man of his stature- quivering. We had all taken it in turns to tell Levi we had finished. Only myself, Guthrie and two others had not yet spoken to Levi. That meant we had failed his inspection eleven times. Now, it was Guthrie's turn to take the wrath of Levi. I was putting off our second private meeting as much as possible. Kurt had brought back horror stories from his experience with Levi a few cleans ago.

I patted Guthrie on the back as he composed himself behind Levi's door. Guthrie nodded and took a deep breath. He knocked and entered following an incomprehensible grunt from Levi. The rest of us dodged out of sight as the door opened and cautiously hovered whilst we waited. The door opened again; Levi and Guthrie exited. Levi yawned lethargically and we all followed him to our rooms.

The first room he came across was my room as it was the directly on the left hand side upon exiting the staircase. The first time he had entered this room after our first clean, he had said-

"Girl's rooms should be tidier than this." We all just looked at each other. How did he know? As far as we knew, we had been randomly allocated rooms. There was no clothes out either. No hints.

Just another one of Levi's strange traits.

This time, he just scanned the room. "Fine." he muttered, walking out to go to the next. I was expecting that; my room had been clean since the third time we had been rejected. He had pretty much said the same thing since then.

Minutes ticked by as he inspected room after room. In rooms he had previously inspected, he barely glanced at the walls. In rooms he had said were too dirty, he paid more attention. This time, we were drifting outside the second to last room. All good so far.

Levi strode inside. He paused and glanced around. Then, he glanced suddenly to the window. I watched as Levi made his way over to it, like a dog who had suddenly caught a whiff of a cat. "Oi." he grunted. Guthrie started and stumbled to his side. "Pull back that curtain." Guthrie did so. No doubt his heart was pounding frantically. Behind the curtain lay a small pile of dust that had collected on the windowsill and not fully been removed by the damp cloths we had wiped them with. "What the fuck's that?" Guthrie bit his lip and replied loudly.

"Dust, sir." There was a silence as Levi's eyes burned into Guthrie's. Sweat dripped down Guthrie's face.

"How many fuckin' times do I have to get you brats to clean this fuckin' place?!" His voice didn't raise, but suddenly became ten times more menacing. "Start again! Useless pieces of crap." Levi stormed out.

When it was safe, everyone heaved a collective sigh. Luann kicked a table leg. "Kurt!" she yelled. Kurt frowned at her. "This was your job!"

"Your room was dirty too!" Kurt curled his lip, clearly disgusted that she would start placing the blame. He was right; we had all messed up. We were a team.

"Ours got passed. Your slip up just cost us more time!" Flicking her dark brown hair over one shoulder, Luann pointed one perfectly sculptured nail at Kurt. "You're holding us all back!" Guthrie stepped forward to stop the argument, but I got there before him.

Luann was from inside Wall Rose. She had desperately, desperately wanted to get into the Military Police, but was so shocking in her practical work that she missed out of the top ten... by quite a lot. I had gotten third place and decided to join the Scouting Legion. Luann was quick to blame and slow to do any work herself. Apparently, her family had been trying to get into the inner walls for years, without much luck. Clearly, they were terrified of the titans.

"Oi." I crossed the room over to Luann. "Cool it down." She snorted at me.

"Shut it, pig-girl." I ignored her comments.

"Levi is testing us. Getting us to do meaningless tasks over and over to perfection... the weakest will start to crumble first. Those who don't want to be here, will leave."

"Are you calling me weak, bitch?!" Luann snapped.

"Are you admitting that you're crumbling, then?" I retorted.

"I'm not! If you had all learned how to clean properly and weren't so incompetent, we'd have finished hours ago." There was a collective set of grunts as people were insulted by her cheek.

"Don't insult us. We're a team. We all worked on this."

"Oh, and of course you did __so__much." Luann rolled her eyes. "Pig-girl probably left more shit lying about than she cleaned up." My hand twitched. She was insulting the fact that I was a farmer's daughter.

"Like the shit that's rolling out of your mouth?" I immediately regretted having given in my pact to stay calm. I was trying to be nice... ah well. Luann seethed on the spot. Steam was practically rolling out of her ears.

"I've had enough of you, cow!" Before I could even blink, her hand had snapped up and slapped me. Hard. As in, my neck cracked with the force. I guess the training hadn't quite been wasted on her.

My hand flew to my face and Guthrie immediately intervened. He knew as much as I did that a fight between me and her would only end up with her in hospital... not to brag, but try getting a tiger and a mouse to fight. That was the difference in our strength.

Kurt came to my side and started muttering calming words to me, but there was no need. I wasn't going to retaliate. Luann stormed out of the room, followed by a few others.

We all went back to cleaning.

**…**

"Right. Prepare yourself, Lena." Guthrie rested both his spade-like hands on my shoulders. "Go in there and use your feminine charm to woo him into letting us off." I snorted.

"Kurt has more feminine charm than me." I laughed.

"I don't know what you mean." Kurt pouted and pushed his hair back. We all tittered. Luann was scowling a few metres away, whispering violently to one of her friends. I turned back to Levi's door and breathed in.

My turn.

Knock, kn-knock, kn-knock. "Levi heichou." A grunt followed which I translated as, _come in, brat. _I did so, closing the door behind me. It was just the two of us, alone in the wide expanse of his room. A bed lined one side of the room, fully taking up one wall along with a wardrobe. Opposite me and behind him was a window, curtains drawn back, revealing the top branches of a tree struggling towards the sky. Levi put down the paperwork he was filling in and looked up. His eyes glinted as they rested upon my swollen cheek.

"What happened there?" he nodded at it.

"I tripped and fell into a wardrobe whilst cleaning, sir." I lied. He regarded me, then smirked.

"Did that wardrobe have fingers?" I didn't know how to reply. "That red mark is strangely in the shape of a hand."

"Yeah, it had fingers. And an ugly face." Levi stared at my straight expression and his mouth twitched.

"You're Lena, right?" I nodded.

"Tell me, did this wardrobe have a problem with you, or the cleaning?"

"... Both. Most likely." He smirked again.

"I guess you want me to check the rooms again."

"Yes please, corporal." I nodded. He rose from his seat.

"It better be clean now." He added as he left the room.

"You have my word." I smiled back.


	2. NAMELESS FLOWERS 2

True to my word, this time, we passed. As I expected, it wasn't so much "You've passed! Well done!"- more like "That took way too long, little shits". During this time, we had been allowed to wait inside the canteen hall until the other groups finished. There were two groups to go. It was 12:26. We were only allowed to eat once we had finished, so I felt sorry for the remaining groups who had still not delved into the luxury of chicken sandwiches.

Thinking along those lines, I realised that Levi had probably not had any dinner... not that I was bothered. He could probably get food whenever he wanted. However, that pile of paperwork he had been laboriously working though did leave me to question just how easy his life as a corporal was. Being burdened with the name 'Humanity's strongest soldier' probably spoke volumes itself.

I stood up silently, avoiding the attention of Guthrie and Kurt who were deep in chat. Making my way over to the food counter, I addressed the people on food duty.

"Excuse me, can I have a chicken sandwich prepared?" The guy turned upon hearing my voice.

"Ah?" He frowned. "You got one earlier." He tilted his head to one side and eyed me suspiciously. The guy was rather tall and had a long face. Like many people in the scouting legion, the hair on his head was much longer than the hair across his neck.

"I know." I tapped a fingernail onto the counter, wondering what the hell I was doing. "I was asked to bring it to one of the squad leaders since he's still cleaning."

"Tch," the man grumbled. "Ranks. Always getting special service. The new cadets are hungry too!" Despite this, he still prepared me a sandwich (albeit reluctantly). I took it and thanked him, before making my way upstairs.

The whole floor seemed to echo at me, noise in my ears ringing and questioning me; I was questioning myself. The stone walls radiated the cold causing the hairs on my arms to raise. I could smell the chicken teasing my senses from within the cold bread slices as I turned the corner.

Knock kn-knock kn-knock. "Levi heichou?" I muttered timidly. No answer. "L-Levi heichou?" I said again, raising my voice. No answer. Sighing a breath of relief, I opened the door. He wasn't there. He must be out checking someone's cleaning. I tiptoed inside and winced at the huge echo my footsteps made. "Be quick." I ordered myself. Usually, I'm so laid back that I'm horizontal. In my soldier report during training, my trainer said that there were only three speeds in my world- slow, stop and lightning fast 3DMG mode.

Right now, I needed lightning fast 3DMG mode... without the manoeuvre gear.

I placed the plate onto the desk, eyeing up the pile of paperwork curiously. There were plans for expeditions and permission grants from farmers for the legion to go through their land. You would have thought that people wouldn't need permission to save humanity. Supposedly, trespassing on land without a permit was against the laws of the capital. Ridiculous.

Then, something else caught my eye. Reports. Reports on soldiers. Right on top there was Luann's... "Don't." I chided myself. I slipped past the desk... and 'accidentally' nudged the sheet covering Luann's so that I could see her report. "No!" I covered it up again and forced myself to turn to the door.

Footsteps.

Holy shi-

**…**

****LEVI-****

I knew something was wrong from the moment I entered the room. Apart from the obvious scent of chicken, I could feel a presence in the room. I entered as normal and shut the door behind me. Making my way over to my desk casually, I let my eyes dart about the room.

Behind the cupboard.

There was a shadow behind the cupboard, barely noticeable unless you had eyes like mine and a paranoia built from years of killing... like me. Deciding it wasn't a threat, I sat down at my desk and eyed the sandwich on it. Immediately, my body responded to the glorious smell my grumbling at me to devour it. Having not eaten breakfast, this seemed like a very good idea.

The shadow still had not moved. The person was wedged between the small gap between the far wall and the side of the wardrobe opposite me. I teased a bit of chicken from inside the bread and sucked on it, leaning forward onto my elbows to watch the shadow. The person wasn't exactly tall or well built, especially if they could fit into that gap. The objects on my desk hadn't moved... what did they want? Did they seriously just leave me a chicken sandwich on my desk?

Ugh. It better not be a stalker.

Licking my fingers two minutes later after finishing my stalker meal, I lethargically yawned and decided to have some fun with this intruder. No doubt they were already shitting themselves. Before I could get started, the door knocked. There was one group remaining who had not finished cleaning. It was a group fully compiled of pugnacious men who thought that cleaning was a woman's job. This would soon teach them not to be so laid-back. At first, they had said they were finished within ten minutes... It was an absolute pig-sty. Worse than Eren's cleaning.

I moved over to the door, taking care not to look in the intruder's direction. I opened it, and swiftly said-

"You pigs, I can practically smell the dirt coming off you. Do it again!", before slamming it in their face and turning back to my desk... whilst catching a brief glance at the person stood in my room. It was a girl, and that was about all I managed to see within a short glance.

I walked back to my desk, making a careful effort to make it sound like I had sat down. Then, I turned on stealth-mode and silently trod back over to the wardrobe. Climbing one side, I pushed my way onto the top of the dust-free surface (thank you, myself) and peered over the top as my legs dangled over the other side. Lena Hertz was crouched in the corner, silently drumming her knuckles on her forehead in frustration. For a second, I was startled. I had not been expecting her, out of everyone. But then again, I hadn't been expecting anyone. Well, maybe Hanji. I'd half ruled-out the possibility of it being Hanji as I had not heard any give away stifled laughter. I leaned forward and grinned-

"Stalker." I whispered. She shot bolt upright and smashed her head on the wooden side in fright. Glancing up at me, her hand rested on her heart.

"L-Levi H-heichou!" She managed to mutter. I propelled myself backwards off of the wardrobe and landed on my feet. She crawled out of the gap and watched me carefully. "I... thought you might be hungry... so I... got you a sandwich... I knocked but then you weren't in so I tried to do it secretly but you came back and... I'm going to shut up and leave now." Lena stood quickly and made for the door. Just as her hand reached the door handle, I slammed my much larger and more powerful hand down onto the door to prevent it from opening and glared down at her, inches away from her face. She looked up at me with big brown eyes that widened sharply.

"You came in so easily... but did you really think you'd be able to leave like that?" I smirked. I watched as she gulped, following the line of her neck changing. My eyes explored her face and noticed the sheen of sweat that had started to appear. I couldn't help but smirk even more; my smile widened by a few molars. With a cough, I tried to swallow my grin.

"Sit." I ordered, gesturing to the chair at my desk. Her eyes flicked to the chair and back to my face. They paused on my eyes and then danced between the chair and me again. After a few seconds, she did so. "What took you so fuckin' long to decide?" I grumbled.

"I was gauging if you were serious." Lena replied, sitting down on the hard seat. Glancing at her face, it seemed like she had calmed down. She rubbed the back of her head a little.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, moving another chair to the other side of the desk and leaning forward onto my elbows. I watched her with a bored expression.

"No." She sat rigidly, clearly not keen on getting 'comfortable' any time soon. There was a silence as the only sound between us was the gentle breaths we took, chorusing with the wind outside crying for entrance past the glass window.

"The sandwich was nice." I mused. "I hadn't had time for breakfast." She watched me.

"I'm glad." … Yeah right. Her tone was so monotonous that I thought I was talking to a robot for a second. Sarcasm dripped off of her words thicker than that odd sauce-thing that the cooks liked to slaver all over everything.

"Why did you hide?" The pressure in the room started to build. She blushed.

"Instinct." She replied, looking at the floor. I snorted.

"What are you, a rabbit?"

"I'm an idiot." She replied as her blush deepened further.

"You got that right. What type of a person goes into a senior rank's room to deliver a sandwich secretly, then hides like some crazed stalker behind a wardrobe?" She didn't reply. If I had thought she couldn't blush more, she just did. "You know, out of the thousands of troops who have been in the same situation as you, you're the first to make me a sandwich."

No reply.  
>"And, enter my room."<p>

Her right hand began to nervously rub her neck.

"And hide." I leaned back in my seat and crossed one leg over the other. "Does that make you one in a million?"

"If you're going to punish me, can you just get it over with?" Lena eventually spoke. Her eyes darted to meet mine, before looking down again. It was like she was doing her best to be confident but when she caught my eyes, her cheeks flared up again and she had to look away. I was intimidating her.

"There's no punishment." I said. She looked up, shocked. "You were looking after a member of your team, even if I'm a temporary member. I can't punish someone for something like that." Her chocolatey brown eyes melted with relief. "However..." I added. "For entering a rank's room without permission you will have to do something for me." The chocolate hardened.

"...What?" She asked, nervously.

"I haven't decided yet." I shrugged. "You can leave now. I'm expecting another group of idiots to come knocking some time soon."

"...Thank you, corporal." She sniffed.

**…**

"Right, you group of pigs." I yelled at the assembled new cadets after the cleaning was finally over. "It took you so long to do one damn task!" A few eyes glared at me. I glared back and they soon backed down. "Next we move onto pairing you with your horses. We will split back into squads and meet with members of the stable workers who will pair you with your horse." People hovered nervously. "Go!" I shouted. Really, would I have to do this every time I gave them an instruction?! Cadets drifted over to their instructors. My group assembled like flies to shit.

Once they all had gathered, I turned and led them to the stables. Unfortunately, we had the man with more rolls stuffed under his shirt than a poor boy in a bakers. He was clearly just as chuffed to see me as I was to see him.

"Corporal." He nodded. I ignored him, moving out of the way to let him take over. From behind the group, I noticed something. Lena, who was stood so that her left side faced me, had a strange pallor to her face. Those warm, brown eyes of hers were hard and sharp. I followed her arm as it rubbed her neck nervously. Jeez. Could she possibly feel that awkward about earlier? Or was it the prospect of getting a horse? It was a big thing in the scouting legion. A horse meant outer wall expeditions. No horse meant no expeditions. She didn't strike me to be the type to be so terrified of her first expedition, though.

The fat, old pig yammered on about how to treat the horses and what not to do, like the new cadets hadn't already been over this thousands of times since they had joined. It was an important part of training; if your horse didn't like you, then no way was it going to come back when you needed it. And if a horse didn't come to get you, a titan would.

The man made a big deal out of inspecting each cadet, before sending them to a stable number to meet their horse. We all knew there was no science to it, but he made it out like he was some kind of horse cupid. He came to Guthrie and noticed his bulk and size, sending him to the stable with one of the large male horses. Then, he came to Lena and sent her to one of the smaller, younger horses after a great deal of huffing and 'thinking'. I snorted (then cursed myself for snorting); I could have done that myself.

The rest of the team were allocated a horse, before being instructed to guide their horse to the 'centre training ground'... basically, it was a big field with gates. Lena came up behind me, leading her horse. Her face was still pale and she was flinching with every snort the horse gave.

"Oi, Hertz." I called back to her, pausing to walk beside her. She snapped her head around.

"L-Levi heichou," she stammered. "What's up?"

"That's what I was going to ask you. You look pale." She lowered her eyes, but when the horse shook its head, she jumped like she had been struck by lightning and nearly stepped on my feet.

"Don't tell me..." Realisation slowly kicked in. "You're afraid of horses?"

"No!" she snapped. "Why would I join the legion if I was afraid of horses?" I absorbed her expression, drinking in her darting eyes.

"You are, aren't you!"

"No!" She pouted.

"Stubborn brat." I sniffed. We walked together, crossing from the dry, sandy pathways onto the unsteady field. I wouldn't even call it green; the grass was half dead, with more yellow stains on it than the stable officer's shirt. Chunks of grass were missing everywhere. The seventeen of us all gathered onto the field.

The officer introduced himself as Rod, instructing them all to mount their horse as he did so with his own. Some soldiers scaled the beasts easily; others could barely lift themselves over the saddle. Lena turned to her horse and chewed on her lower lip. One leg cautiously rose into the stirrup and she heaved herself over. Unsteadily, she settled into the saddle, refusing to remove both hands from the reins. Just to my right, Kurt slipped from the saddle and slid down the horse, his feet swinging as he tried to find the ground. On his second attempt, he settled into the saddle.

"Right, now just 'ave a trot 'round and get a feel for yer horse." Rod instructed. Straight away, Luann was cantering across the field. Her wavy brown hair spiralled out behind her, rising and falling with the footsteps of her horse. I snorted (and mentally slapped myself) at her showing off. If her head got any bigger, I might just mistake her for a titan.

From beside me, I heard a snort of disapproval from Lena's horse as she instructed it to start walking. It tossed its head about and complied, clearly unimpressed. I eyed the horse's frame, spotting the same lighter brown tones clambering up its front legs as I had earlier with the horse that had escaped. Uh oh. Trust that God-damn officer to give the girl who's afraid of horses a horse that hasn't been properly tamed yet.

"Hertz," I called as she moved into the distance. "Be careful with that one. It's a bit jumpy." She half-turned back to look at me.

"Don't tease me!" She frowned, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead. I rolled my eyes, watching as she got further and further from me.

"Those of you who haven't already, try speeding up." Rod called. Lena shot him a worried glance, before kicking her horse to trot. Again, the horse snorted and refused. She kicked it again, hands shaking whilst clutching the reins. The horse twisted off its path and started stomping its feet in distress.

"Hertz!" I shouted, starting to stride over to her. "Get off it!" But by now she was out of earshot. She tried to gain control of the horse, but it started to buck and snort, tossing her sideways. Lena sat lower in her seat and clung on. The horse rose onto its back legs. I ran.

"LENA!"

As I came towards her, the horse tossed her onto the floor. She darted out her limbs to stop her fall whilst I sprinted at full speed. Something cracked as she hit the floor.

…

****LENA-****

The world danced back into my vision, colours chasing away the dark spots in my eyes. My head lolled to one side as I came back into consciousness. Pain. Searing, burning pain. Reality smashed into me all at once.

"Hertz!" Someone was leaning over me, calling me. His eyes were slightly wider than usual, his pupils constricted as a sheen of sweat coated his face. I stared at him, realising who it was. That was about all I realised.

"Levi heichou?" I said, wincing at how my voice croaked. I tried again. "Levi?" The man's eyes hardened and returned to his usual expression. What happened?

"Brat! When I tell you to be careful, you should listen!" he yelled at me. Behind him, the face of Guthrie settled, his face showing concern. I turned my head to look at him and saw Kurt beside him. Smiling to show I wasn't hurt, they shook their heads in union. Then it came back to me. The horse.

"Clumsy girl." Kurt half-smiled. I tried to sit up, but the source of my pain became apparent and all of a sudden I could focus on nothing else.

"Ah!-" I winced. Levi stopped scowling. Shifting my weight off of my right arm, I tried to ignore the throbbing, burning sensation in it. The pain was so sharp that it felt like someone was twisting my arm, yanking it out of it's socket whilst simultaneously scorching it with a hot knife.

"Where does it hurt?" I heard Levi ask. I didn't answer, shuffling into a sitting position with the help of Guthrie who had knelt by my side. I felt faint. "Brat. Don't ignore me."

"Right arm..." I groaned. "It's probably broken."

Levi sighed heavily, then stopped himself. He took my limp arm in his left hand and lifted it gently. For a second, I tried not to gasp, tensing my abdominal muscles hard. Then, he moved it a fraction higher-

"AH!-" I cried out involuntarily, fingernails clawing the grass. Levi stopped lifting my arm and gently put it back down. He had only lifted it a matter of centimetres, but it felt like he had snapped it off.

"I'm taking off your jacket." He ordered, rather than asked. I leant into Guthrie's chest as he supported my back, whilst Levi carefully removed my jacket. Once the jacket was off, he paused. "All of you." He raised his voice. "Get lost." People around me started to shuffle away. Rod quickly led them to practise elsewhere. Kurt dithered about, until I finally smiled at him to let him know he could leave.

"Let me know what happens." Kurt patted Guthrie's head as he left. My eyes wandered back to Levi as I caught him frowning at my shirt. I swallowed back the sickness I could feel in the pit of my stomach.

"Take it off." I said. "I don't care." It was clear that Levi needed to see my arm to judge the extent of damage, but felt awkward about stripping a girl in front of everyone. To be honest, it didn't bother me when my arm was in so much pain. Levi met my eyes, before glaring at Guthrie to look away. I felt Guthrie's face look over his shoulder, still holding me tight.

Levi unbuttoned the top of my shirt and slid it down from one shoulder. He leaned forward and touched my skin; his fingers were cold. "It's swollen already." he finally diagnosed. "Most likely broken." He slipped my shirt back on and hastily buttoned it again. I couldn't let my eyes meet his or Guthrie's. "We'll take you to someone trained in this type of thing, like Hanji. It's not severe enough to bother with the hospital. They'd just put it in a sling and we can do that for you." I nodded miserably.

"Sorry." I muttered. Guthrie gently patted my head.

"It's not your fault. That horse hadn't been tamed yet." he said, his warm breath tickling my hair. Levi's eyes hardened again and his expression was back to his usual frown.

"Can you stand?" Levi asked. I nodded and with Guthrie's help, I was on my feet.

"I can't believe this has happened." I blushed.

"That'll be twice in once day you've done something ridiculous." Levi muttered under his breath. I shot him a glare, but cracked into a smile instead.

An hour or so later, my arm was in a makeshift sling created by Hanji, whose biological knowledge was enough to safely announce that my arm should recover within 8 weeks. The legion did have a few trained medics and such, but it had no specific corps or team. All casualties and injuries were sent to the nearest hospital if no one was available or skilled enough to deal with it back at the HQ.

I was alone in my room where Levi had instructed me to rest until he called for me. My room had no window, as directly behind it lay the staircase. That meant that if ever I needed air or ventilation, I had to open the door. My room was smaller than the rest of the rooms on this floor, which is why it only had me and one other girl in. Apparently, our room used to be a storage room under the stairs until recently. All the other rooms held two bunk beds.

I sighed. If there was one thing I could say for certain about myself, it was that I was restless without freedom. Sit me under a blue sky and I'd daydream for hours; force me to stay in a cold, dull room until 'called for', and my boredom levels would sky rocket. I just needed a wide open space, not some dingy room. I checked the time- 14:45. If my estimations were correct, dinner would be called around 6 o'clock. So, Levi would return for me between 5 and 6...

I had time.

Leaving my cell of a room, I made a break for the outside world. Now, I had a choice. Go to where I am most at peace and enjoy myself, but suffer the dreadful climb with a handicap... or find somewhere else and risk being found by someone. Or getting lost.

My sense of direction was appalling.

The sky called to me, lifting my chin gently to watch the birds soaring; they were truly free. They could scale these walls that cage us with ease. Clouds drifted lazily along, occasionally casting shadows around me. The sun lit up a golden lining around the edges of the clouds, competing with the cold of Autumn. My feet found themselves strolling towards the hill.

It took me at least five minutes to follow the path winding away from the HQ and finally start ascending. The first part, as I knew, was easy. A gentle climb. The middle section was trickiest, with jutting rocks and crumbling cliffs. After that, it was just a steep ascent to the top, where the peak fell flat. I reached my first obstacle earlier than expected. It was a part where I usually used my right hand for support, whilst lifting my feet onto a rock on the left. Obviously, my right hand was currently out of service. I straddled my feet like a horse rider, one foot on the left rock and one on the right. It was a challenge, but I did it.

Several heart-stopping moments followed where my foot slipped or my arm was not available for support, but soon I was at the top. I made myself comfortable, which took greater effort than usual, laid flat on my back with my head facing the left. My right arm rested upon my stomach and felt my chest rise and fall.

Peace.

Once more.

****LEVI-****

Where was that sneaky, absent minded brat? It couldn't have been long since I ordered her to stay put in her room. I'd lost a cripple in a castle; how was that even possible? After going back to Rod, he told me to leave everything up to him and he would bring the cadets back to me by 15:00, ready for their lecture in expedition tactics. I'd filled out a few forms, had a cup of tea and bam! She had vanished.

She was definitely on canteen duties for a week. And if she chopped her hand off in the kitchen it would serve her right.

I decided to carry on with my duties in case I ran into her. Instead of wasting hours searching for an arbitrary brat, I might as well do something useful and run the risk of running into her. "Hanji!" I called, spotting the woman further down the corridor. She stopped and tilted her head. "When is Erwin returning?"

"Levi heichou. I thought you were in charge of the new cadets?"

"I am. The stable officer is taking over while I finish doing some work."

"How's that girl?"

"She fucked off somewhere." I waved a hand dismissively. "When does Erwin return?"

"He was supposed to be returning tomorrow, but I've heard rumours that he has extended it as the King wants to see him, but the King has royal appointments for tomorrow. He's requested that Erwin stays until the day after."

"Tch. Bastard, does he know we're fighting out here? He thinks he can do what he wants with our commander, well-"

"Where's that girl gone?" I stopped mid-rant.

"Hertz?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck knows. I told her to stay in her room." I shrugged. "Anyway, are you ready for your lecture tomorrow?" Her eyes glinted.

"A whole hour talking about titans!" Hanji drooled. "I've even prepared Eren's tooth for them to look at!"

"Disgusting." I spat. "If you run into Lena, tell her she's balancing on knife edge, and that if she wasn't crippled I'd be forcing her to clean the entire HQ for the next month."

"She might have just gone to the women's room." Hanji shrugged. "I'll take a look for you."

"Whatever." I sniffed. Hanji said goodbye and continued on her way, whilst I contemplated the mountain of expedition plans that Erwin wanted me to look at. "Damn that King." I grumbled.


	3. FALLEN BIRDS 1

**FALLEN BIRDS**

"Smoke signals..." I mused over the expedition plans. "Not bad." I flicked through the next few pages and scrawled notes over the plans. Erwin had managed to make the full set of arrangements for at least 5 separate expeditions; just one would get the 'go ahead'. We needed to get Eren outside of the walls in order for him to be officially allowed into the corps. At the moment, my team were teaching him and keeping an eye on him.

I sighed, reading over the first plan again. Realistically, only the first and third plans would work. The first described a close-knit square formation, with Eren securely in the centre and each squad within sight of the next. It would make us a smaller target, but one fault in the lines would cause major damage. The third was an extreme long distance diamond where communication relied on runners and smoke grenades. It was tricky and had a lot of flaws, but safer.

I sat back in my chair and rubbed my temples. I needed time to think this through. Standing up, I decided to change locations. I would go to the place I always went to whenever something was on my mind. It reminded me what I was fighting for; one look at the beauty of the land, one glance at the hundreds of ant-like humans preparing for battle, one gaze at the birds who could fly wherever they wanted... The wings of freedom. Jiyuu no tsubasa.

That was all I needed to get my priorities straight and be able to move on.

So that was were I headed.

**LENA-**

I vaguely remember feeling my body subconsciously turn onto my right shoulder, before a sharp pain awoke me. "Ugh." I sat up slowly and rubbed my eye. "I fell asleep..."

Looking around, nothing had changed. The sun was still in the sky and people still milled about below me. Luckily, it seemed I hadn't slept long. Checking my watch, I saw that it was 15:10. I had better start heading down.

Which, as it turned out, was easier said than done. With only one hand for support, climbing up had been a lot easier than what I was attempting now. I had nothing to cling onto or lean against. Sometimes, I just had to jump, which was terrifying enough without a handicap. Maybe I should have thought of this.

It took me double the time to get to just the middle section, and that's where things began to get worse... much worse. In the end, I found myself sitting on the edge of a rock with my head in my hand. "Stupid twat!" I cursed. "Stupid!" I began to envision my death in the local newspaper; died because she couldn't get back down and starved to death. How stupid.

Worst of all, Levi would probably be the one to find me, since he has seen me come here before. No doubt the only reason he hadn't come already was that he figured me smart enough to work out that someone with a broken arm shouldn't be galloping up mountains. He would probably laugh his ass off when he found out that I'd gotten myself stuck.

"Oi, brat." I jumped so much my footing slipped and I had to scramble frantically to keep my balance. Just below me, Levi was looking up, scowling. "Nice room you got there." I gulped.

"S-sorry..." I blushed.

"What are you doing up here anyway?" He took in my seated position on the rock, where I'd failed to progress any further down and just given in.

"I wanted some fresh air and then..." Levi just glared at me, waiting for me to explain. "I've made myself look like a twat for the third time today..." I chewed on my lip and looked at him. He frowned. It took him about two more seconds before he realised.

"Don't tell me you're stuck." My gaze dropped into my lap. "Shit head." He swore. "Serves you right for not following orders." With that, he turned away and started heading back down the hill.

"L-levi heichou!" I called in shock. "Are you leaving me?!"

"I'm not some superhero that saves idiots who get themselves into shit." He said, stopping briefly to look back at me. A smirk tugged at him lips. "Idiot." He repeated, continuing down.

"Damn!" I cursed. "Damn, damn!" I'd show him. I'd get down this mountain and make it back to my room. Then he wouldn't be able to laugh at me... Well, not much. I started attempting to climb down again, my left arm shaking with all the effort it had been exerting recently. Suddenly, I lost my balance and my back slipped down the rock I had been wedged into. "SHIT!" I swore loudly. I struggled for a foothold again and felt my arm giving way. My right arm had been banged and bashed so much that it was now throbbing like hell. I just wanted to crawl into bed and wait for the pain to subside, but there was no chance of that in my position. My left arm slipped-

"Tch!" I heard someone grunt as they supported by back. It was Levi; he had come back. Yanking me violently from the wall and down onto his level, he swept me up into his arms.

"Eek!" a squeal slipped out from my lips and I immediately winced. "Levi heichou!"

"Up here, it's just Levi." He corrected. I looked up at him, my face scarlet from my position. This was so clichéd. I was literally in his arms like a princess, except I wasn't exactly light or elegant. He smirked at me again, before making his way down the hill. His agility and strength astounded me; as expected of humanity's strongest soldier.

"I've never known someone who gets themselves into as many stupid situations as you." He said as we neared the bottom.

"Y-you can put me down now." I stammered, still embarrassed that I'd had to be carried to the ground because I had gotten myself stuck.

"You promise you won't do anything stupid?" He asked.

"I can't promise that... it just happens." Once again, his mouth twitched as he almost laughed at me. He must be enjoying himself at my misery.

"Well, I'm not always going to get you out of it. I've been generous enough already."

"Yeah thanks for that." I said, sarcastically.

"Was that sarcasm?" His eyes met mine and held them, attempting to scare me.

"I'm guessing from the moment you put me down, you're a corporal again." I ignored him, holding his eyes on mine. He sighed.

"I suppose."

"Then carry me a bit further?" I said, rather than asked. Levi blinked at me.

"What the hell." He grunted. "You just said you wanted putting down."

"I know," I replied. "But when you go into corporal mode, I can imagine you shouting at me for being such an idiot and wasting your time."

"True."

"Then will you carry me?" I pushed again. He paused, looking straight forward as he continued walking. Just as I was about to take that as a 'yes', he mercilessly dropped me.

"Will I fuck." He dismissed, stepping over me and continuing towards HQ.

"Bastard." I muttered under my breath, clutching my arm in pain.

"What was that, stalker?" He challenged.

"N-nothing, heichou." I shook my head, listening as his footsteps got further away.

…

At bang on 15:30, Levi had everyone gathered in a classroom style room within HQ for a lecture in expedition tactics. I had entered five minutes late, after Hanji had found me and told me where I needed to be. As I walked in, the whole room stared at me and Levi stopped what he was saying. "Sit down, brat." he ordered.

I caught Kurt's eyes and he gestured to a seat next to him. The room was set out in single tables, lined in rows and columns that filled the room from front to back. Levi had a chalkboard and about a 2 metre wide area to walk around in. He only ever moved positions to write on the board. Kurt waved at me from my right and I looked up at him. He mouthed, 'are you okay?' and I just nodded. My eyes scanned the room for Guthrie, and I found him at the back. He nodded at me; I nodded back. Then, as I turned back to the front, Luann caught my gaze and raised a dainty middle finger at me. I frowned, before flagging her off back.

"Ete!" A piece of chalk smacked me in the cheek.

"Pay attention, brat!" Levi growled. "Just because you're disabled, doesn't mean you shouldn't be noting down what I'm saying."

"Yes sir." I muttered back and picked up a pencil in my left hand. Writing was more difficult than I had ever imagined; I was right handed. The illegible scrawls all over my page took at least a minute to form a sentence. Even then, it just looked like a spider had been dipped in ink and left to skitter along my page. I sighed, glancing at the page full of nonsense that I had just written.

I was never going to be able to revise our next expedition strategy from this. Not that I'd be going on it anyway. Not in my condition. Kurt nudged me when Levi turned his back and passed across a few sheets of paper. He smiled at me as I realised what it was. He had not only done his own notes, but had copied them up neatly for me on a separate set of sheets. I gawked at him.

"T-thanks!" I whispered. He nodded back and faced the front. I did so too and caught Levi glaring at me. He glanced between me and Kurt, before continuing on. Perhaps this was a strange thing to say, but I think it's even more terrifying when he looks at you and doesn't even shout. His glare speaks volumes and when his anger isn't directed at you verbally, you feel like he's stabbing your voodoo doll in the head.

At the end of the session, it was 16:30 and we had one hour of free-time before food was called. Levi instructed us all to 'get a wash because you all smell worse than the horse shit in the stables', so we headed back to the rooms to get our stuff. Ava, my room mate, got to the room before and she was already packing her towel into a bag.

"Hey." I smiled, awkwardly. We didn't know each other that well. From what I did know of her, Ava was quiet and rather shy. Other than myself, Luann and Luann's friends, there were three other girls in our intake. In our dorm, there was me, Ava, Luann and Luann's friend Carla. This meant that the two girls that Ava usually hung around with had been separated from her... and instead, she was stuck with me. Poor thing.

"Do you want to go down together?" she smiled at me.

"Actually, I had a shower this morning." I replied. "I know it's disgusting to go without, but it'd be difficult with one arm..."

"I'll help you." Ava tilted her head and smiled again.

"Will you? Thanks!" I returned the grin. "I know it's awkward but... I'd rather not smell."

"It's fine. We're all girls, aren't we?"

"Well, I'm not sure what Luann is, but I'm definitely a girl." I joked. Ava tittered.

I gathered my stuff and we walked over to the women's showers. It was a small, dingy place with hardly any privacy, but at least it protected us from the males. The showers were in one big building separate from the HQ. They dribbled cold water; it wasn't exactly luxurious. However, it was a new type of technology recently invented to replace baths. Baths weren't practical here in the scouting legion as they took ages to fill. The only problem I had (apart from the cold), was that the boys' showers backed onto the girls. There was only a wooden panel separating us from them.

This wasn't like some story cliché though; the wood wasn't about to fall down and it didn't have any peep holes. It just meant that we could hear every conversation in the shower, including the boys'. From experience, I had learnt to plug my ears and ignore some of the crude conversations coming from the boys' side. Luann loved it; 70% of conversations revolved around how fit she was. The boys hadn't yet figured out that even if they whispered, we could hear them. And no one was about to tell them.

Upon arriving in the showers, we found that some of the scouting legion were already in there. Petra, one of the people I looked up to, was washing her hair, chatting quietly to another female. Mikasa who was becoming well-known in the legion, was by herself in one corner as a girl with reddish-brown hair yammered onto her about food from across the shower. Apart from me and Ava, there were five other females showering. I undressed and hung my clothes up, struggling to slip off my shirt. The sling came off last, and I winced as I cupped my arm with my hand.

"I'll wash quickly and then help you." Ava nodded, already under one of the shower heads. I nodded and headed over to another shower head. I turned it on whilst standing to one side. I let my feet test the cold and wince, trying to force myself to go under the shower.

"Jesus it's cold." I muttered.

"What did you expect, cripple?" A snide voice sounded from behind me. Luann was undressing opposite me. She didn't even look in my direction. I ignored her. One of her friends smiled awkwardly at me whilst Carla completely blanked me.

Forcing myself under the tap, I tensed my whole body against the pain. Damn it was cold. The water thundered onto my shoulder and coiled around my arm. Ava quickly finished washing and massaged her fingertips into my hair, releasing all the dirt it had acquired over the day.

"Thanks," I muttered, suddenly feeling awkward. "I owe you one."

"It's nothing." she replied. "Better this than you stinking the room out tonight."

"Do I really smell that bad?" I joked back.

"Yeah, you do. You reek like pig-shit." Luann joined the conversation again. We both continued to chat, pretending she wasn't there. No doubt this drove her up the wall.

Minutes later, I was fully clothed again. My usually light brown hair was almost black and water still dribbled down my shoulder. The cold of the Autumn breeze electrified my whole body, causing the hair on my arms to stand on end and I shivered. I hated the cold.

"Does it hurt?" Ava asked as we walked back.

"A bit," I lied. "I don't think the bone has cracked all the way through. It will probably heal really quickly."

"Well if I were you I wouldn't tell people that." Ava said under her breath. "Stay out of expeditions for as long as you can." My eyes shot over in her direction.

"You mean, lie?"

"Yeah. If you want to survive." We both fell silent. The fear of the titans which I had pushed aside, rose it's ugly head in the silence. I decided to break the silence before it got too tense.

"I can't believe I broke my arm on the first day." I laughed. Ava laughed gently. She tugged on a dirty blonde curl (though her hair was usually a bright blonde colour).

"It looks really painful. You're so brave."

"It looks like someone has painted my arm blue. I'm turning into an avatar."

"The paint is mouldy too then. There's all these green smudges on it." Ava teased.

"It's more swollen than Luann's head... wait, no it isn't. That's impossible."

"Haha," Ava giggled again. "You're so funny."

"Funny 'haha' or funny mental institution?" I asked.

"Both." Ava flicked my ear.

"Ouch." I complained, reaching across to flick her back.

Before I realised it, we were back in our room. Ava started combing her long hair; it dangled at her hips. I was surprised she hadn't cut it. I would have. It must get in the way. We asked questions about each other and chatted until a knock on the door disrupted us.

"Who is it?" Ava called.

"Guthrie." A deep voice called back. I smiled and opened the door.

"Hey," I grinned, looking around for Kurt. "Where's Kurt?"

"He's still in the shower. There's a massive queue in the boys' side."

"That kind of makes me feel better about the 100 to one gender ratio here."

"Yeah." Guthrie sniffed. "So were you okay earlier?"

"When?"

"When Corporal Levi took you back to HQ. If I were you, I'd have been shitting it. Alone with that guy, jeez." Guthrie shivered.

"Ah, that." I nodded. "He just took me to squad leader Hanji and then told me to stay in my room."

"He wasn't angry?"

"Probably. But he was passive aggressive about it." I laughed.

"That's even scarier." At least I wasn't the only one who thought that way.

Just then, Kurt walked behind Guthrie and waved at me. "You okay, cripple?"

"Why's everyone saying that?" I sighed.

"Sorry," he grinned, showing off his perfect set of white teeth. "You okay then? Does it hurt?"

"No," I rolled my eyes, sarcasm dripping from my words. "I feel fine, despite the crack in my bone."

"Okay, fine, no more sympathy from me." Kurt raised an eyebrow. "You want to meet to walk down to dinner in ten minutes?"

"What'dya say, Ava?" I turned to Ava and repeated the question. She nodded and agreed. "Yeah, ten minutes then." I said. "Don't spend five hours doing your hair, Kurt." Kurt stuck out his tongue and left with Guthrie.

…

**LEVI**

Walking into the dining room was like being hit by a wave of social-ness... That's not even a word, I know. It produced another fine example of a time where life hit me in the gut. "Urgh." I hated loud areas. I wanted to grab my food and get away as soon as possible, before-

"LEVI!" Hanji called. Before that.

I cursed multiple times and kept my head down, grabbing my food and making for the door. No such luck. " Come sit with us!" Hanji grinned. "Don't be unsociable."

"You just asked for something impossible." I spat.

"We have to discuss some stuff anyway." Practically removing my food from my hands, Hanji dragged me to her table. Around it sat Eren, Hanji, Mikasa, Armin, Petra and Mike... I chose to sit next to Petra. At least then I could have some sort of intelligent conversation if I was forced to speak. She smiled at me as I sat down.

"And so," Hanji continued. "I have concluded that Eren's abilities get better the more he uses them." I switched off as Hanji ranted at us about Eren's amazing 'three second healing' from this morning. Minutes later, I spotted Lena enter with the muscular guy from her intake, as well as another girl with blonde hair and a boy who chatted casually with Lena. They sat down on the table next to ours, so that I could see her if I looked past Eren, who sat opposite me.

Her hair was still damp. It twisted onto her shoulders where it usually never touched; her hair was rarely down like this. I continued forcing food into my mouth, occasionally catching Lena laugh or swear as she spoke to her friends. The big man brought food to her as she couldn't carry it. He sat next to her and watched as she struggled with her fork. Muttering into her ear, he took her fork in his hand and started feeding her.

BANG.

I looked down at my knife with surprise. It had pierced through the plate and shattered the centre of it. The whole of my table were looking at me in shock. "Shit." I muttered, lifting up the plate and heading over to the bin. I came back to find them still watching me; they stopped whispering as I sat down again.

"Levi," Petra said softly. "Is something worrying you?"

"I just got distracted." I dismissed, lifting my cup of tea to my lips.

He was still at it.

Lena blushed disgustingly at him as he fed her the food remaining on her plate. For some reason, it made me feel sick.

"Heichou..." Eren stammered. My eyes flicked to his. "Have I done something wrong?" It dawned on me that to everyone else, I had been staring at Eren for the last few minutes, not the girl just behind him.

"You're in my line of sight." I grunted back. Eren quickly moved his chair sideways and I continued to watch the disgusting scene unfolding behind. Eventually, I couldn't stand it. I slammed my chair under the table as I left the room and went back to my office.

Damn children. Hormones running wild.


	4. FALLEN BIRDS 2

**FALLEN BIRDS**

There was a short brief after dinner for the next morning before free-time. Since the new cadets were no longer in training, there was no curfew. Just the knowledge that if you woke up a rank, they'd slit your eyeballs and walking around at night was suspicious as fuck. Right now, it was 19:20.

_Knock knock. _"If your name is Eren, fuck off." I grunted.

"It's me, Petra."

".. Come in." I sighed, rolling into a sitting position on the end of my bed. Petra walked in, peeking round the door and gently closing it. She dragged a chair opposite me and sat on it, twiddling her thumbs.

"What's up?" I asked, crossing one leg over the other. Petra didn't meet my gaze.

"If you need any help, you know you can ask us... right?" I frowned as she finally looked at me.

"What's this about?"

"Earlier you seemed a bit frustrated." We had a stare off for a few seconds, before I sighed and stood up.

"Don't worry about it. I saw something that pissed me off." Petra followed me with her eyes as I opened the door. "I've got something to do." With that, I shut the door and walked away.

…

BASH!

The punching bag almost swung off it's hook as I dealt it another blow. Sweat dripped from my chin as I panted heavily. Raising my fists ready to strike again, my muscles braced for the attack. BAM BAM BASH! A double jab followed by a round house kick. My shirt stuck to my chest with sweet, sticky sweat. I had discarded my uniform long ago and changed into blue shorts and a grey, long tank top.

My bare feet barely touched the ground, crashing repeatedly into the punch bag. Hanji had advised me to wear gloves and only punch the 'punch' bag... but I loved the feeling of weight resisting my kicks. Gloves that cushioned my fists took away the whole purpose of what I was doing. My fists became sore and the knuckles were red from where I'd worn the skin down till it was raw. Pain, pain, pain. Call me a masochist, but that feeling of pounding something, feeling it's weight and being free to use all my strength till I dropped from exhaustion exhilarated me.

Thunder kick, lightning kick, low kick, high kick, hook, hook, jab, 180 degree kick... I tried everything to tire myself out. My muscles were pounding with lactic acid and I could barely breathe any more. But I carried on. I had been at it for longer than I could recall. Through the window, I could tell it was getting dark. Yet, I couldn't stop now. I was still standing.

"Heichou!" I heard a shocked mumble as someone entered the room. I carried on relentlessly, but gave a back kick to the punching bag in order to see who it was. It was the blond guy from the latest intake, who had been with Lena earlier. My punches suddenly fell harder.

"UGH!" The tension poured out of my lips; I couldn't hold it back. Kicking again and again, feeling the bruises under my skin smack against the heavy bag.

"Corporal, you shouldn't kick the bag. You'll injure yourself." The cadet dared to lecture me as he went over to the weights and began his training.

"Are you... offering to spar...hah... with me then?" I panted, still burrowing my fists into the material.

"I'd rather not end my life tonight." The man chuckled. "I'm Guthrie, from your group." He added, testing a few different weights.

"UGH!" I pounded it again. Stars started to appear in my vision and my body screamed at me to stop. Suddenly, my attacks became weak. I crashed forward into the wall and slid down it, turning until I was collapsed against it. I vaguely remember hearing the guy call my name a few times, before everything blacked out.

**...**

I awoke with a cold flannel on my forehead. Water trickled down my face and onto the bed sheets I was laid on. Bedsheets. "Shit!" I sat bolt upright and removed the cloth from my face. There was someone in the room, but my first instinct drove me to inspect the damage to my bed sheets. Thankfully, there were only two or three drops of water staining the perfect, crisp whiteness.

My second instinct went entirely against what my brain ordered my body to do. I collapsed back onto the sheets as my aching body punished me. I smirked, closing my eyes to feel the wonderful ache all over.

My final instinct was to snap open my eyes as I remembered there was someone other than me in the room.

"I never knew you were a masochist." The voice said. I focussed on the brown haired girl by my bed.

"This is the second time you've come into my room uninvited." I chided Lena. She frowned.

"It's not my fault. Guthrie didn't know what the hell to do with you!"

"Then why did he call you?"

"He told me to find the same woman that helped me with my arm. Hanji, was it?" When I didn't reply, Lena continued. "I told her that you collapsed in training and she just swore and said to just leave you."

"Is that what she said?" I grumbled, scowling at the ceiling.

"No, her exact words were- 'If he can't rely on us to talk to then he can just do what the fuck he wants and die alone for all I care'" Lena then smirked to herself. "After that, she said, 'never tell him I said that'."

"That shitty-glasses." I swore.

Lena leaned forward on her chair and caught my gaze. I twisted my head to look at her, melting into her dark brown eyes. "Seriously though, don't worry us like that." Her eyes showed concern. I felt my chest tighten.

"You really are a stalker." I snorted, turning away. "Get out, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ungrateful little-..." Lena stopped herself. "See you."

I listened for the sound of the door shutting and sighed.

Something was wrong with me.

…

The next morning dragged. Paperwork, lectures, paperwork, lectures, lectures, Hanji, lectures, titans... When dinner time came, I was so thankful that I nearly kissed the chef. I'm kidding of course.

Dinner times were often quieter than in the evenings. Some groups took their lunch with them for a day long mini-expedition. Some people went home to their families. I took my food and collapsed into a seat on an empty table, still feeling the retributions for yesterday seer into my thighs. The table didn't stay empty for long, unfortunately.

"Morning, heichou." Petra sat beside me. I nodded in recognition and vaguely asked her about how she was doing. It wasn't long before Auruo, Eldo, Hanji, Gunther and Eren had gathered onto my table too. None of them asked to sit down.

"How was your day, heichou?" Eren asked.

"Shit." I replied, bluntly. "How did the transformation go?"

"It didn't work." Eren's head dropped and he clenched his fist.

"Well, don't piss yourself over it." I shrugged. "There's still a whole bunch of shit you don't know."

"Levi!" Hanji shook her head. "You swear too much!"

"What was that, shitty-glasses?"

"There you go again!" She whined at me a while longer, and I retorted back whenever I felt the need to. Then, Lena entered the room. She was with Guthrie and the blonde girl again. Hanji caught on that I'd suddenly stopped listening. Following my gaze, she saw Lena. I quickly looked away and pretended that I hadn't been watching. I didn't want some weird rumours to start. "Lena!" Hanji called. I jolted. "Come sit with us!"

Lena looked around upon hearing her name until her eyes met mine. Then, she saw Hanji waving frantically. "Oi," I grunted. "What are you doing? There's not room for three on here."

"We can budge up, right?" Hanji asked.

"Actually, I'm going. It's my mother's birthday today and I want to see her." Gunter said, standing as he spoke.

"Perfect!" Hanji grinned. "Now there's room!"

Lena hovered before Hanji, puzzled. "What's up, Hanji?" She asked formally. Hanji gestured to the seats and invited her to sit down.

"You and heichou are familiar, right?" She smiled. "This is our thanks for looking after him last night." I started to complain, but shut my mouth. Lena looked embarrassed, but she sat down anyway.

"So, Lena, how's your arm?"

"It's fine thanks. I'm sure it will heal quickly."

"You fell off a horse, right? Sounds painful!"

"It was scary!"

"It was scary for me watching!" Guthrie shook his head. "Lena's always been clumsy."

"Who's that girl who keeps making snide comments?" Petra asked. "I heard her while we were in the shower."

"That's Luann. We don't get on."

"Luann slapped her yesterday." Guthrie smirked. Lena flicked him on the shoulder.  
>"Oi!"<p>

"She what?!" Petra gasped. "Wow, I'm guessing she's a bit of a bitch?"

"Yeah. I heard that she wanted to join the Military Police and get away from the titans... I doubt she'll stay long now."

"So she wasn't strong enough?" Hanji asked.

"Not by far."

"Well, all the Military Police are the same." Auruo joined in. "They're all scared of fighting the titans and want to get into the inner walls."

"That's not true." Lena frowned. "Some want to change the system."

"Hah. Yeah right." Auruo spat. "Those cowards are all the same." Lena put her fork down and glared at Auruo.

"They're not cowards." Lena said, this time with more force. I started to actually pay attention to their mindless chatter now. The tension in the room had suddenly risen. "Not all of them."

"If people want to make a difference, they join the scouting legion." Auruo frowned. "The Military Police are just a bunch of pigs begging for their lives."

"They're not! The Military Police protect lives of people within the walls!"

"You mean protect their own lives. They sell our kit to the black market!"

"People in the Scouting Legion do that, too! You can't be so prejudice!"

"I've seen it happen with my own eyes! Even the Military Police admit that they're corrupt."

"You're wrong!" Lena snapped. He held his ground.

"I'm not wrong! In my opinion, when that famine years ago caused us to sacrifice innocent villagers, it should have been them we fed to the titans instead!"

"Pardon?!" Lena was seething. She rose from her seat and her fingernails dug into the table. I sat up, shocked at her sudden change in personality. I'd never seen her so pissed.

"I said, every man and woman in the Military Police are worthless pieces of shit that only care for themselves." Auruo stood up too.

"Stop it, you two." Petra interrupted, but neither of them were listening.

"You bastard. I dare you to say that again!" Lena was practically bearing her teeth in anger.

"Sit down, cadet! You haven't even seen a titan yet." Auruo snapped. "You're barely out of nappies so don't you dare try lecturing me!"

That was the breaking point for Lena. I saw it in her eyes. If you've ever seen a person who has witnessed something they treasure being destroyed, then you may have seen the expression Lena was wearing. I certainly had. The same one that Eren sometimes wore. The one Mikasa had worn when Eren was thought to be dead. First there's the expression of loss... then there's the expression to 'kill'... Revenge.

_I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!_

Lena snapped. She moved swiftly but I was faster. I moved quickly making sure to avoid touching her broken arm whilst dragging her other hand behind her back. My hand covered her mouth. I had no doubt that Lena wouldn't have tried to kill Auruo (she wouldn't have been able to any way), but I was certain that one of them would have been injured in the fight... Most likely Lena. Lena struggled, then as I watched, her eyes returned to normal. She closed them and I felt her breathing slow. Auruo glared at her.

"Auruo." I grunted. He looked at me, worried. "You should know better. Go cool off." Auruo muttered an apology and left the dining room. I noticed now that we had the attention of most of the dining hall. "Lena, come with me." I said, though I didn't really need to since I was dragging her along anyway.

I finally let go of her when we were out of the way of other people, standing in the shade of some of the tall trees surrounding the HQ. Lena took a breath, before looking at me. With relief, I saw that her eyes were back to their melted brown state. "I won't apologise for what I said, but I'll apologise for making a scene." she announced. I regarded her.

"I wasn't going to ask for an apology." I shrugged. She looked surprised, but then sighed.

"Well I'm sorry anyway."

"What happened? I've never seen you so pissed." Lena's eyebrows furrowed and she looked away.  
>"It's personal." When I didn't press her for more, she sighed again. "Maybe I'll tell you one day."<p>

"Well, whatever. I don't care." I shrugged. "Just try not to cause any more tension in my group. There's enough as it is with Eren's abilities."

"Sorry, heichou." Lena rubbed her arm gingerly.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked before my brain caught up with mouth.

"N-no..." She shook her head.

"Good." I nodded. "You can head back now, if you've calmed down."

"Thanks."

As Lena walked away, a part of me wanted to drag her back. I still didn't understand her; I was curious. Why had she shown such an angry expression? There was so much I didn't know about her life. Her head dropped slowly the further she got away... something was bothering her. My hand twitched by my side. Forcing myself to look away, I tried to think about something else. But always, somehow, her face managed to appear back in my mind.

**LENA-**

It wasn't long before I needed to get back to HQ. In another half-hour, we were supposed to meet with our squad leaders for an afternoon of cleaning gear. Erwin was supposed to be returning late tomorrow, and from then on we'd be planning for the next expedition... Which I guessed I wasn't going on.

My frustration displaced itself with random kicks at the ground. I felt like a five year old, but right now, I really didn't care. There was no one to see me anyway. I really didn't want to go back. After finishing my food and smiling like there was nothing bothering me to Guthrie and Ava, I was now storming about the grounds surrounding HQ. My sense of direction may be shocking, but I had no where else to go. I couldn't climb my usual hill and admire the scenery because of this damn arm. Instead, I was violently stomping through the trees surrounding the huge castle.

It had been a while since I'd seen another person.

Finally, I forced myself to look back towards the intimidating figure of the HQ... only, it wasn't there. Ooh shhhi- Wait, calm down. Just walk back the way you came, Lena.

I did so, grumbling still about my argument from earlier. "Stupid guy..." I spat. "Thinks he knows everything." My foot scuffed the grass angrily. "So prejudice." I stopped walking and lifted my head. I searched for the sky but couldn't find it through the trees. "Nii-chan was never like that. He really did want to change things..."

I carried on back to HQ, shaded by the towering trees that sparked a shiver along my arms. The breeze whispered in the twisted branches above, sending leaves tumbling towards the ground. All of a sudden, the route I was following split into two... uh-oh. I had no idea which route took me back. I went for the one on the right as it looked most familiar, speeding up to a light jog. Minutes later, I arrived at a stream running through a soil ditch... I definitely didn't remember that.

"Damn you, Lena!" I cursed. "Why do you do such stupid things?!" A sense of deja vu swooped over me; when I was a new cadet, I had gotten lost so many times that I didn't have the mental capacity to cope with the maths. Yet I was so smart that I kept wandering off alone time after time. I ran around the forest, getting myself more and more lost as my arm began to throb with the constant jolting. Every tree looked the same as the last, every bit of path eventually drifted out into some bush or faded into nothing. There was now only ten minutes before I needed to get back.

I ran and ran, panting with both frustration and fatigue. It got to the point where I gave in and just walked for the sake of moving. Surely, if I kept going in the same direction, the forest would end. It definitely didn't seem like it. Birds chattered in the trees, mocking me. I rolled my eyes. I must be the most unfortunate person in the world; I was so stupid. So far this week, I had managed to break my arm, get stuck up a mountain, be labelled a stalker, get slapped and now THIS. "Someone up there hates me!" I said aloud. "Well, you know what? I hate you too!" This time, I shouted it.

"Well, cheers." A voice said behind me. Now, this hadn't been the first time I had jumped out of my skin recently and it seemed as though it wasn't going to be the last, the way my luck was going.

"Shit!" I gasped, spinning around so fast, my arm clicked. "SHIT!" I repeated, wincing in pain.

"You seem like such a cute girl," the voice laughed. "You've just met me and you're already swearing and claiming you hate me." I finally caught a glance of the guy who had just landed beside me. He was from the scouting legion, the rest of his squad pulling up behind him as he sheathed his swords. Clearly, they were in the middle of training in the woods when they came across poor, little me.

"I didn't mean you." I sniffed. The man raised an eyebrow, smirking cheerfully. He had long blond hair that wafted just above his eyes, tickling the back of his neck.

"Are you... lost?" his grin was almost big enough to crack his face. I pouted, refusing to admit that I was lost, but not willing to turn down his help... I was already late and Levi would no doubt kill me upon my return. "I'll take that as a yes. What were you doing out here anyway?"

"I got into an argument and wanted to cool off... but my sense of direction is worse than that of a blind cricket."

"A blind cricket?" The man laughed. "Come on, girl. I'll take you back."

"Are you sure you're not busy?"

"The squad leader won't mind. We're not too far away anyway."

"Really?!" I almost swore. "It felt like I'd been walking for DAYS!"

"Whatever, hold on," he said, taking care to lift me without jolting my arm too much. Then, he took off.

I had to bite my lip through the whole journey, trying not to take advantage of his kindness to complain that he was moving too suddenly and ragging my arm from it's socket. A few times, I tensed suddenly and he asked me if he was going too fast. Eventually, we dropped from high in the trees onto the grass outside HQ. He put me down gently.

"Thank you, I'd have probably made my way to Shiganshina without you."

"It's fine, the ride made a change from hunting fake titans."

"Good. Well... See you." I smiled awkwardly, turning to make my way towards the room where we were cleaning the 3DMG.

"See you, cricket." He called back. I turned to glare at him, before cracking into a smile.

"Don't think you can get away with that." I muttered.

…

I was literally turning the door handle when Levi slammed open the door. He jumped upon seeing me as I frantically moved backwards to avoid trapping my fingers.

"Where the hell have you been?!" He yelled. I chewed on my bottom lip.

"S-sorry..."

"I didn't ask for an apology, brat." Levi growled. "I want to know where you've been."

"I don't know either." I dropped my gaze. "I got lost." Levi regarded me with his sharp eyes. He sighed heavily. I watched as the locks of black hair he had grown out drifted in front of his eyes. Levi clearly had no answer for that. Finally, he stepped aside to let me in. I suddenly noticed that he wasn't wearing his usual necktie and that his top button was undone... Oh god, now I understood why he hid that... I snapped out of it and walked past him.

_Forget the chest! _I instructed myself. _Don't think about his chest! _Maybe I really was turning into a stalker.

Guthrie called across to me where he was cleaning his gear with Kurt. There was a gentle chatter in the room, mixed with the clatter of metal. "Where have you been?" he asked.

"I lost track of time."

"I'm surprised Levi let you off so easily."

"So am I."

"He asked where you were." Kurt grinned. "When we said we had no idea, he seemed really worried." Kurt raised his eyebrows meaningfully. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Shut it, Kurt." Guthrie laughed. "He wasn't worried, he was pissed. I thought he would have murdered you, Lena."

"But he _didn't_." Kurt winked at me. I snorted. Kurt enjoyed gossip more than most females, and his ability to jump from reality to fantastical conclusions astounded me. "I think our little corporal has a thing for you."

"Shut your mouth or I'll pour oil down your throat." I threatened, picking up the bottle and tapping it in front of him. Kurt pouted and went back to cleaning. Guthrie smirked at me.

"Luann was talking about you too."

"Oh please, don't wind me up." I groaned. "I've only just begun to calm down from last time."

"She complained to Levi about how you were always late and suggested that he 'discipline' you properly." Guthrie continued. My eyes shot open... Maybe I did enjoy a bit of gossip, too.

"What did he say?!" I asked, excited.

"He said, 'I'm not her fuckin' baby sitter' and 'are you questioning the level of discipline in my squad?'" I grinned. Kurt joined back in with his own gossip.

"I can read body language well and that bitch _wants _him." Kurt nodded, intelligently. I spluttered.

"I bet she thinks that since Levi is high up, he might be able to help her get into the inner walls." My stomach tightened as I thought of her flirting around Levi, taking advantage of her good looks in order to enter the inner walls. Levi would never fall for something like that.

I scrubbed harder at the gears of my 3DMG, though they were hardly mucky any more. The metal gleamed at me and reflected back my own face distorted and blurred. I glanced up to see Luann walking up to Levi. She held up a piece of 3DMG.

"Oh, she's at it!" Kurt snickered in a hushed voice. We watched avidly, expecting that some drama was about to unfold.

"Heichou, can you help me connect these pieces up again? I forgot how." Luann smiled at the man who turned around, frowning.

"There's fifteen other people in this room. Ask them." He grunted, running a hand through his hair. My heart thumped in my chest; damn, he should do that more often. His bangs dropped back in front of his eyes.

"I wanted to do it properly." Luann tried again, holding out the metal to him.

"You've been training for three years and you can't even put your fuckin' gear back together?" Levi held her gaze, scowling. Luann pouted as Kurt and I snickered. Get told, Luann!

"I've not done it in a while."

"Well I'm not here to give you a private lesson on something you should know." He sat back into his chair and displayed his 'don't-talk-to-me' expression. Luann got the message and flounced off. She hissed to her friends for several minutes after. Looks like her plan to get into the inner walls had been cut off before it had the chance to begin.

**A/N: I was reading Shingeki no Kyojin Gaiden Kuinaki Sentaku and fell in love with Levi when he wears his top button undone... woah. Can't wait for the next chapter. Speaking of chapters, I hope you enjoyed this one! :) **

**I like Kurt; I might feature him more often. I imagine him as the type of person who would really make me laugh in real life but since I'm not funny, I'm finding it hard to convey that, ahah.**


	5. USELESS PRAYERS 1

**USELESS PRAYERS**

"_Lena." Levi called. _

"_Yeah? What's up?" I replied, turning around to face him. The trees shaded his face from me, but somehow I knew what expression he held._

"_I wanted to compliment you on your cricket skills."_

"_My what?"_

"_I saw you playing earlier." He held out an orange to me. "You can have this."_

"_Thanks, I love oranges." I walked towards him down the path and took the orange from his hand._

"_I like oranges too." he replied._

"_Hey, where'd you get this? Oranges are expensive now-a-days, right?"_

"_The black market. I have contacts from my thug days."_

"_THUG DAYS?!" I laughed. Kurt appeared next to me and nudged my shoulder. "Oi." I complained. He winked at me._

"_You, Levi... alloooonne... in a forest." he wiggled his eyebrows._

"_But you're here?"_

"_Oh right," Kurt frowned. "That's true! I'll leave." He left._

I woke up.

That.

Was.  
>Possibly.<p>

THE.

Weirdest.

Dream.  
>I have ever.<p>

Had.

…

I spent breakfast contemplating my dream and it's meaning. For one, why was Levi in it? Two, why did he bring me an orange and three, I don't even play cricket. Kurt was probably actually very well represented in my dream; he's weird in general. But the whole thing kept replaying in my brain; I didn't know I had the imagination for something so... obscure. What made things so much more confusing was when Levi sat down on the table near mine with an apple and I couldn't help but think, 'didn't he like oranges?'...

I could tell this was going to be one of those days.

Today, my group were completing a physical training exercise. Of course, this would be impossible for me and so I sat on the grass near where they were about to begin. Levi spotted me. He walked over to me in his sports kit- blue shorts and a long, grey tank top. His muscles were pumped from recently warming up. Despite his size, you could never say he didn't look capable of the title, 'Humanity's Strongest Solider'.

"Lena, you can go home for today." Levi said, stopping in front of me. "If it's sport, there's nothing you can really do."

"Ah," I rubbed my neck subconsciously. "I'll just stay here."

"When was the last time you went home?" Levi frowned. I swallowed.

"Not long ago, so I'll just stay here." I couldn't tell him. I didn't know how to say that I didn't have anywhere to return to... or anyone. Just like before, he didn't press me for details. He shrugged and ran a hand through his hair casually. My heart rate soared upwards- he _really_ should do that more often.

"You can clean your room then."

"Ahh, heiichouuu!" I complained. Levi looked at me and raised his eyebrows a little.

"Do what you want, brat." Eventually, he turned away and headed back over to the group of freshly warmed-up individuals. Kurt caught my eyes and winked at me again. I rolled my eyes. Levi had let me off lightly... again.

Maybe I _would_ go out somewhere.

I decided to visit the market, which would be a first for me in a long time. I'd been trapped within the lifestyle of the scouting legion for so long that the real world felt foreign to me. As I walked to the town centre from HQ, change jangling in my pocket and a new feeling of freedom overcoming me, I noticed how the atmosphere changed quickly from a quiet shuffle of people, to a mass gathering of children, grandparents, parents, singles- everyone! It seemed like the whole area had been summoned to the two or three streets where business men and farmers traded their produce for money.

I was jostled about so much that I ended up creating a barrier in front of me to avoid people hitting my arm. Shielding myself with my left forearm, somehow I still managed to get tossed around. The worst thing was, I couldn't exactly 'browse' because I was being swept away with the steady stream of people. Neither could I push my way out as this was impossible in my current physicality. I just peeped over shoulders and let myself get dragged along, muttering apologies under my breath.

Somehow, my ideas never went to plan.

Eventually I broke through the main throb of people and diverted into a smaller area. A man with tanned skin and a line of stubble across his chin waved me over to inspect his stall.

"All good, all cheap!" He exclaimed. "A lovely lady like you needs a good beauty regime, right?" I smiled nervously, ever the shy person around strangers (which completely went against my usual personality), and inspected the stall out of obligation, not curiosity. A dazzling display of concoctions stung my eyes and assaulted my nostrils. I coughed, covering my mouth quickly. "The smell is powerful, isn't it?" The man laughed. I nodded, laughing awkwardly with tears starting to swim in my eyes.

"Wow." I coughed again. "What are they?"

"Face packs. Apply, wait, then see your face glow!"

"Are they radioactive?" I asked, frowning. The man guffawed.  
>"Oh no, I meant that they make your skin look healthier."<p>

"Oh, ok. How?"

"They are packed with nutrients."

"I think they'd be wasted on me, sorry." I chewed my lip, moving onto the next stall. I had to ignore the man trying to call me back with prices; I didn't even know if what he was shouting was cheap for a face pack. It's not like I ever wore them. It just looked like mashed vegetables that he was dumping into pots and selling.

Stall owner after stall owner dragged me into their trap and I had to invent more and more reasons to move away. Minutes later though, I found myself smirking at a fruit stall. Destiny had strange ways of appearing in my life. Oranges were sat directly in the centre of the stall, looking fresh and delicious. My mouth watered, imagining the liquids dancing in my mouth and across my tongue. The price sign had a massive cross on it, and under was a new, cheaper label... Hmm...

"Half a dozen, quarter the price!" The woman smiled at me, noticing that I had fallen for her oranges... In the most normal of ways. I let the coins in my pocket run over my fingers and estimated how much I had. I should have at least double, so I took out the change and counted the correct amount. Handing the woman the money, I waited as she bagged up 6 oranges and handed them to me.

"Have a nice day!" she smiled.

"I will!" I grinned back, almost to myself.

I looked at my watch and contemplated how long I had. I wanted to return by lunch, which meant I had at least another hour before I needed to set off on the long walk back. Removing an orange from the bag and holding the rest in the crook of my elbow, I tore off some of the peel and spat it to the side. I almost felt bad for 'littering', but it's not like I could use my other hand. I walked down a small alleyway and left the bustle of the streets. I could hear the echo of heavy footsteps behind me and the murmur of people in front at the end of the alleyway.

The alleyway was only large enough for one person, and because the person behind me was walking so fast, I decided they were in a hurry and stopped to let them past.

As soon as I stopped, a large hand appeared out of nowhere and covered my mouth. My heart rate shot up as I was dragged into a strong lock and the towering man behind me restricted my movement. The bag of oranges scattered onto the floor. The stench of his sweaty, dirty hand became masked as I found it harder and harder to breathe. I tried to scream but his hand muffled the sound. I struggled; I kicked; I screamed again. It was futile.

"SHUT UP!" He bellowed but I only cried out more. "SHUT UP NOW!" Tears began to stream down my face, half from fright and half from pain. My legs frantically swung around but somehow I just couldn't quite reach him. Fear stabbed me in the muscles and set every limb I had quivering as though the temperature had sank below zero. His hand wandered down to my trousers.

_OH GOD NO, PLEASE NOT THAT! OH GOD!_

But instead, it slipped into my pocket and took out my change. My forehead throbbed with relief, though my lungs still tried to heave in as much oxygen as possible past his hand. When he had taken all my money, he released me momentarily, only to kick me violently into the floor and sprint away.

I didn't bother trying to run after him.

I didn't even watch him go.

I just lay on the floor and sobbed, attempting to block out the pain thundering along every nerve in my arm. My stomach ached. My heart pounded like the beating of a horse's hooves. I cried.

I admit it. I cried, not caring that every bit of my usual dignity was being sucked out of me. I no longer tried to hold the tears back like I had done throughout my life; I was scared. I had been so scared. But, more than anything in those moments, I wanted Levi.

I needed Levi.

…

It took time, but I managed to compose myself enough to stand. I bundled the oranges up and tried to leave the alleyway like nothing had happened. I avoided places bustling with people, but equally, I avoided places where there was no one. I felt, rather than saw, that my hair had come undone. Recently, Ava had been helping me since it was hard with one arm. Bangs of my tangled, brown hair stuck out in pieces and drifted in front of my eyes. I half-limped back to HQ, holding onto my arm.

How was I going to face people?

I didn't have the energy to smile and I felt like I had been dragged through several hedges not only backwards, but every other way too. I thought about not returning back at all, but that would definitely be more suspicious. I felt sick with the prospect of looking people in the eyes, remembering the sorry state I had been in earlier. I had thought that I was strong; I'd always thought that if someone attacked me, I'd at least put up a good fight. Instead, I had cried and screamed like a toddler. And worst of all, I had pined for Levi.

His strength was unimaginable and no one would mess with him. One look in his eyes and every one who didn't know him would flinch and think twice about approaching him. I convinced myself that that's why I had wanted him in those moments; I disgusted myself at how I had been so defenceless. The money didn't matter to me. In fact, the thug would probably laugh at the petty amount he had gained from all that effort. His threatening presence appeared in my thoughts again and my head whipped around to check I wasn't being followed.

I wasn't. Of course I wasn't.

But it suddenly hit me that I was such an easy target. A young girl, unfamiliar with the area, hidden by the bustle of people with a broken arm and no one to help her. I should have guessed that someone would have taken that opportunity. My stomach heaved.

Thankfully, HQ's towering figure came into sight and unusually offered me relief. For once, the castle was not an intimidating figure and instead, a safe place that I couldn't wait to hide myself within. People were slowly appearing from all over the place and filtering into the building for lunch. I made for the door.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me.

**LEVI-**

Lena was walking funnily. Her hand massaged her stomach and her head was down. I noticed that her hair, which was usually extremely neat, had escaped from it's clip and scattered messily. She had a bag of something nestled in the crook of her left elbow. I approached her curiously. Just before I spoke, she span around.

The words I had been about to say vanished. I felt my eyes widen as I took in her panicked expression and noticed the sheen of sweat on her forehead. She stepped back quickly. Upon seeing it was me, her eyes almost returned to normal but still withheld their scared appearance. She looked like a rabbit centimetres from the wheels of a moving wagon.

"A-ah, Levi," she stammered. "I didn't expect to see you here." Lena's face cracked into a small smile, showing teeth but no heart.

"What happened?" I asked. I walked beside her back to the building, noticing how she avoided looking at me. "Oi, Lena." I pressed again, this time more sternly.

"I fell in the street earlier and I'm still a bit wobbly." She replied. I snorted disbelievingly.

"You've been into town?" I asked.

"Yeah, it was full of people!" she smiled again but she was so transparent. I spotted Guthrie just ahead of us. If I let her notice him, she'd probably try to blend into a large group of people and avoid my questions. I stopped walking and pulled Lena behind the building where no one could see. Her timid eyes widened again. Why was she so scared?

"Lena!" I grunted, scowling at her. Her bottom lip wobbled and she looked away. "There's something wrong! Tell me." I felt my heart beat faster; anything could happen in a city full of people. All sorts of disgusting people with disgusting intentions milled around and took advantage of others... Girls especially.

I slammed my fist onto the wall near her head, suddenly tense. She flinched and shielded her face with her left hand. "Please." Taking her hand and gently moving it to her side, my mind raced with possibilities- none were pleasant. She finally looked into my eyes... And burst into tears.

I let her burrow her face into my chest, her tears mingling with the sweat on my top. She cried- proper tears- and her breath hiccuped. She whimpered, letting me stroke her hair softly as I muttered calming words into her hair. Something was definitely wrong, and this was only making my heart beat sky rocket as I pictured different scenarios in my head.

"I'm such a -hic- pathetic girl!" Lena cursed. "I did nothing."

"What happened?" I whispered, lifting her chin to look at me. She burst into tears again.

"He, he came up behind me..." she started. "And I couldn't move." If there ever was a time where I had wanted to snap someone's neck, it was now. "He took my money and-" She scowled, looking away again. "He hit me and ran off."

Now, it's probably disgusting for me to say this, but I was relieved. I was so happy.

"Ah." I sighed. "It was just that." Lena looked up, her eyes bubbling with tears still. "Are you hurt?"

"N-no," Lena shook her head. I hadn't realised that I'd been holding her until now. I let her go and she moved away, wiping her eyes.

"I'm so pathetic." She grumbled again. I almost laughed.

"What are you supposed to do with a broken arm, idiot." I paused. "And why did you go on your own?!"

"Ah," she ignored me, taking the bag that was still around her arm and opening it. "For you." She took out an orange and smiled. This time, it was a real smile (if slightly shaky). I frowned.

"What? An orange?" I took it and span it around in my fingers. "It's just an orange."

"Don't you like them?"

"No, I do." My eyebrows drew even closer. "Is this all you bought?" She nodded. I felt myself smiling, but didn't show it.

"Ite!" I flicked her on the nose.

"You should have bought something worthwhile," I chided. "We have these here!"

"They run out quickly though." She pouted. "Be grateful."

"Why would I be grateful for something like this?" I sniffed. She reached up to take it back but I held it above her head. "Thanks." Lena looked at me and smiled again.

_Thank God. _I thought. _She's smiling again. _

"Do you want to go to lunch?" I asked. She looked at the floor and breathed deeply. "You don't have to."

"People will ask where I've been though." A lock of her hair fell in front of her red-rimmed eyes. She looked a mess.

"You were punished for wandering off and forced to clean my room." I said. She sniffed.

"People would actually believe that."

"Good, because it's happening." I stepped back and returned to a more serious expression. "When I said that you could do what you want, I didn't mean that you could wander off and get into trouble." Lena raised an eyebrow. "You're skipping lunch and cleaning my room. Go."

"Levi!" She whined. "You're not serious, are you?"

"Oi, brat." I spat. "It's corporal to you." Again, she pouted at me, before shaking her head and walking into the building. I watched her go, before I released the fist I hadn't realised I had been clenching, inspecting the glowing dents in my hand where my fingernails had dug in.

"Scum bag." I growled, feeling the tension within me spark again. "_If I ever find out who it was, I'll slaughter him._"

…

Balancing her sandwich in one hand and my own in the other, I approached the door to my room and gingerly tapped the door with one foot. There was no reply, but the previous 'humming' had stopped. Idiot.

"It's me," I spat. "Hurry the fuck up." Instantly, the door opened. Lena grinned at the two plates and let me inside. Resting them down on the desk, I saw that she had put down the brush in order to eat. "Don't think that you're eating now." I scowled. "It's an incentive to do it properly."

"Leeevi!" She whined at me. This was becoming a regular occurrence. I didn't like it.

"It's corporal." I sank into my chair and began picking at the sandwich. "Make that mistake once more and I'll break your other arm."

"Yes corporal." She sighed, kneeling back down in front of the dustpan and sweeping grains of dust into it. There wasn't much dirt in my room; I was surprised that she had found any. "Heichou?" I looked up from my food and glared at her for interrupting.

"What?"

"Why don't you ever have the rice option at lunch?" Lena's mouth was twitching and I could tell she was up to something.

"Because I prefer meat."

"Protein is good for growth." She mused, trying to be nonchalant. "Ite!" The pen I had thrown smacked her right on the head. She tried to pout at me, but smirked.

"You're not any taller than me, brat."

"I am!" Lena gasped. She stood up as if to prove a point.

"You're not." I continued to eat. Lena opened her mouth to argue, then stopped.

"Have you been taking notice?" she asked. I frowned. "Don't they call that... small-man complex?"

"The only complex I have is CDO."

"CDO?"

"OCD, except the letters need to be in alphabetical order." Lena spluttered into laughter.

"Haha!" She grinned. "Levi can make a joke!" I just looked at her blankly, until I felt a smile tug at my lips and quickly began eating again. "That was good." She complimented, eventually stopping giggling.

Once she had finished sweeping the floor, I beckoned her over and handed her the plate. She thanked me and pulled up a chair to the table.

"What are we doing next?" she asked.

"_I'm_ having a shower and getting changed, while _you_ finish cleaning." she just looked at me. I shrugged. "Do what you want." Then, I thought better of that. "No, the last time I said that you ended up getting mugged. You can have a shower too and then do something useful."

"Like what?"

"The cadets are doing the obstacle course again, but Hanji is conducting some experiment on Eren so I need to be there with my squad. You can be Hanji's tea bitch."

"Yessir!" She mock saluted. I pondered how she would be able to carry so many cups of tea with one arm, but decided she could figure out her own way. I wasn't going to let her out of my sight today; she had terrible luck and no common sense.

I remembered that Erwin was supposed to be returning this evening and sighed with relief. Finally I could go back to normal duties and not baby sitting. At some point, either before or after the expedition, we would promote one more squad leader who would take charge of the new squad. I'd be able to spend more time with my own team again and actually perform my duty to watch over Eren. I finished my sandwich and stood to get my stuff for a shower. Lena quickly finished hers and brushed the crumbs off from my desk. I scowled at her.

"You better get rid of those."

"I will," she nodded.

"Outside." I added.

"Of course."

"Don't get lost or climb any mountains."

"I won't."

"Have a shower, then come find me."

"I will."

"You're being surprisingly obedient and that worries me." I grimaced. Lena just tilted her head and raised an eyebrow.

"See you in twenty minutes." she turned and left the room, carrying the crumbs in her left hand. _There's no way she is going to take those outside_, I sighed. _She better not dump them where I can see them._

…

I closed my eyes and let the freezing cold water slide over my hot skin. My hair flopped into my eyes and stuck to my head, twisting as I ran my fingers through it. Muffled voices filtered from both sides of the building; men and women chattered to each other in the showers. I ran the soap over my body and noticed the strong scent drift into my nose. Bubbles dripped from my arms and legs, washed away suddenly as a cascade of water pushed through. It was a great feeling. To wash away the sweat and replace it with the sweet, clean smell of soap... Perfect after a day working.

The showers weren't as full as usual. The main bustle from the day was in the mornings and evenings. People rarely had time to shower after lunch. A conversation from the woman's side filtered through the panels and caught my attention-

"That Lena," someone growled. "Has pissed me off from the moment we joined." Ahh, I guessed this was Luann.

"Yeah, you two had a lot of arguments." Another voice agreed.

"I hate how cocky she is!" Luann continued. "She acts like a man sometimes when she's a girl!"

"Like that time when she punched the guy who was caught in the female training dorms for a dare."

"Exactly." Luann agreed. I found myself smirking. "She was raised like a savage by her father. He was a farmer. They reared animals, for god's sake. She was raised around animals."

"Yet isn't she, like, terrified of horses?"

"Yeah." Luann paused. "But what I hate the most about her, is how she gains attention from all the guys with her sob story about her brother."

"She has a brother?"

"He apparently joined the Military Police, but she hasn't seem him since. Kurt once asked her about it during training, and she went on for ages about how amazing he was and how he was going to change the Military Police for good. If they were so close, then why hasn't she heard from him?" Luann scoffed. "He probably hated her and wanted to get away."

"Or he might be dead." The other person muttered.

"Yeah, well, I hope she recovers from her broken arm quickly. Then she can go out on an expedition and she might die or something." I gritted my teeth.

"Who's going to die?" Another voice chimed in. It was Lena; she sounded pissed. My stomach twisted as I wondered how much of this she had heard. Straining against my dignity to listen, I glared at the wall, as though somehow I'd be able to see through it.

"Lena!" Luann spluttered.

"Haven't you got anything better to do than bitch?" she spat. Neither of the other two said anything. "At least do it somewhere where I won't find out."

"Who cares if you hear anyway?" Luann eventually bit back. "Everyone knows we don't get on. If I say something like that, then it shouldn't exactly be a surprise."

"Fine, then I can say this," Lena replied. "You're a bitch who flutters around Levi like some ugly moth, trying to get with him so you can get into the inner walls." I raised an eyebrow. Luann gasped. "That wasn't a surprise, was it? Since we already hate each other." Luann snorted.

"I've given up on that plan anyway. He isn't high enough rank to get me into the inner walls."

"How would that have worked anyway?"

"Well, dumb-ass, if Levi had fallen for me, then he'd have wanted me out of harm's way and let me transfer to the Military Police."

"There's a massive floor in your plan." I imagined Lena smirking now.

"What?" Luann shot back.

"The part where Levi 'falls for you'." There was a pause before Luann laughed.

"Yeah, I admit. I was wrong. It turns out that he's an unapproachable git who's likely to die a virgin. He acts like there's a stick constantly stuck up his ass." This time, it was Lena that laughed.

"Did you hear that, Levi?" she called. I felt myself jump. "You're listening now, right?" I smirked and turned off the shower, shaking my head. Luann's angry responses slowly faded out as I headed outside. 'Stop lying, bitch', 'I'm not going to fall for that'... etc, etc.

"Damn clever brat." I cursed.

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews! * takes cookie * Thank you! * eats cookie ***

**Nom nom.**

**I'm glad you're all liking this fanfic, but don't be scared to tell me about the stuff you don't like ^_^ I'm trying not to plan this fanfic much, because when I plan I tend to write bout what's going to happen in the fic, then it never happens because I get carried away and there's continuity errors galore... However, I recently had an idea for the ending and I'm hitting myself like "THATS TOO HORRIBLE!", but I think I might end up doing it... ehe :D**

**I'm running out of words to use for 'scowl' and 'glower' and 'frown' haha. Levi! You scowl too much! **

**Thanks again for reading:) * gives Levi plushie to all readers ***


	6. USELESS PRAYERS 2

**USELESS PRAYERS 2**

**LENA-**

I combed my hair, letting the wet clumps drip down my back, before I dried it with a towel again and re-combed it. When it was dry enough to stop dripping, I dressed into my uniform and headed out. It was annoying to have a shower in the middle of the day. Now I had to go outside with wet hair; it must be so easy for men. Except maybe Kurt. His hair was almost as long as mine.

Finding Levi was easier said than done. He wasn't in his room and I found that no one knew where he was, since he often drifted around HQ like a cat. He probably knew loads of alley-way short cuts too, so he could slink through the building unnoticed. Plus, there was the fact that people saw him and immediately walked the other way to avoid getting shouted at.

In the end, I found him outside with Eren and Hanji. Hanji was explaining something to them both, whilst Eren gulped and nodded.

"I understand." He said, his green eyes looking worried but determined. I joined the group just as Levi turned to me. He looked me up and down and sighed.

"Oi brat," he frowned. "You'll catch a cold with wet hair."

"Do you want me to just put my head in a fire or something then?" I rolled my eyes. Men. "There's nothing I can do about that. It'll dry faster in the sun anyway." Levi raised an eyebrow and looked up pointedly to the sky. It was bleak to say the least. Clouds coated the sky in a thick layer, tinted with dark blue bellies hinting rain.

"Yeah, in the sun." He scoffed. Hanji interrupted our bickering to explain the experiment, just as Levi's team sauntered over. I glared at Auruo and felt the sparks exploding in the atmosphere between us. Levi flicked me hard on the nose.

"So, we're going to get Eren to perform numerous motor movements in his titan form." Hanji continued. "Then, we'll time how long he can maintain his form. If he's in a fit enough state after, we will time how long it takes before we can get him to transform again, and see if his transformation is complete, or like the day when he blocked the cannon and incomplete."

"Jeez, at least take a breath, Hanji!" Erdo complained.

"Basically, the titan-freak transforms and you wait for my signal whilst the other titan-freak examines him."

"Yes sir!" His team saluted.

"Well then, Eren!" Hanji smiled. "Shall we get started?"

**...**

"We need you to have a goal." Hanji mused. "So far, normal goals haven't worked." She looked pointedly at the blood on Eren's hand and mouth. Eren cursed himself. "Before, your strong desire to protect someone has driven you." The team fell silent, thinking of an idea. Levi eventually got annoyed with the waiting about.

"How about you transform to protect your own life," He muttered darkly. "I'm starting to get annoyed." Eren tensed, but shook his head.

"I don't think that'd work." He mumbled.

"Well, find something that _will_ work!" Levi was exasperated. An idea sparked in my brain. I looked around for someone who Eren knew well, but found no one. I gestured to Hanji to come over and whispered in her ear. Hanji's eyes widened, then gleamed with the prospect of an idea that might actually work. Levi watched us, one eyebrow raised. Hanji looked around until her eyes stopped upon the HQ building. She smiled.

"Eh hem," Hanji cleared her throat. "We have an idea."

"Spill it then, shitty glasses."

"You won't like it." Hanji warned. Levi narrowed his eyes and waited for her to continue. "We need to put Eren in a situation where he _has _to transform."

"Yeah, I knew that." Levi scowled further. "How?"

"Let's say... we put someone in danger."

"Like what?" Levi was already prepared to reject the idea.

"What if... someone he knew was falling from a building...?" Hanji prepared herself for the verbal attack.

"So," Levi's tone was dangerous. "You're suggesting that we push someone off from a building so that Eren _must_ transform in order to save them?"

"Exactly!"

"And who will be pushed from the building?" Levi was definitely pissed. He clenched his fists by his sides, already knowing the answer to his question. Eren was looking around nervously.

"Lena has already volunteered. She's a girl and she's already injured. She has the sympathy factor."

"No." Levi snapped. "No, you are NOT pushing someone off a FUCKIN BUILDING to get him to transform! Find another way!"

"There's no other way!" Hanji shouted back. "Eren can only transform under pressure!"

"And what if he doesn't FUCKING TRANFORM?!"

"He will! I know it!.. And Lena is prepared for that risk."  
>"Well I'm FUCKING NOT!" Levi turned to me and grabbed me by the collar. "Are you insane?!"<p>

"I want to be of help to mankind," I shrugged. "And I trust that Hanji's predictions will be correct."

"You!" He growled deeply, gritting his teeth. "Will NOT do this. Do you understand?"

"Levi!" Hanji snapped. "Talk to me for a minute." She pulled him aside away from Eren and me. They fumed in the distance at each other, debating for what seemed like hours. Eventually, Levi stormed off and Hanji came back to us.

"I'm not happy with this," Eren shook his head.

"That's the point." Hanji replied. "Levi's given us the go ahead. Eren, go wait by the building while Lena goes to the top floor."

"What?!" Eren gasped. "You can't be serious?!"

"This development may help mankind. If we can get you to transform at least once, we'll learn a lot. That information is vital."

"Levi AGREED to this?!" Eren's eyes were wide and frightened. I felt sorry for him; my life now rested in his hands.

"Look, Eren, you either catch her or she dies." Hanji said bluntly, before pulling me away.

"There was a condition, wasn't there?" I said once we were out of ear shot. Hanji smiled.

"Yeah. Levi has gone to get his 3DMG to catch you if you fall past a certain height." That brought immense relief to me. My idea had been insane and I wasn't willing to die, but the recent incident where I couldn't even defeat a mere human showed me just how useless I was. I wanted to do something worthwhile for mankind. I wanted to show my worth until this bastard arm healed.

"That's a relief." I sighed.

"He'll meet us on the top floor. Don't say anything to him or he'll change his mind."

"I won't."

Minutes later, we had climbed to the roof of the HQ and shortly after, Levi appeared. Looking over the edge, I saw that he had notified his squad who were hovering near Eren in case of an emergency. Levi's face was colder than ice; he was ready to murder someone, never mind save them. He never once met my eyes as he withdrew his pistons with the swords attached. I walked to the edge and looked around.

Birds. White doves soared in the air and landed on the rooftops. The sky had cleared enough for blasts of vibrant sunlight to filter through and patch the ground all around into contrasts of light and dark that rippled gently. A light breeze tugged at my heavy, damp hair and cooled my face. If this was the last thing I'd ever see, I'd be happy...

Or would I?

As Hanji signalled to them on the ground and nodded at me to jump, I turned and took one last glance at Levi. For a second, I thought I saw his cold expression crack. He started forward as I began to fall, eyes widened in fright and mouth calling my name over the wind. 'Lena! Stop!' He mouthed. 'Please!' I felt my stomach lurch as the safety of ground slipped from under me. My eyes were still on Levi as I began to tumble backwards. He reached over the edge for my hand; I smiled.

If this was the last thing I'd ever see, I'd be happy. "Levi," I muttered as the wind brushed away my voice. "You look cute when you're worried."

And I fell.

**HANJI-**

Everything happened in a flash. Lena fell; Levi moved. He was prepared to jump after her already even though he had agreed to wait until we knew that Eren had failed. On the ground, I saw Eren bite his hand. He bit it again and again frantically, blood dripping onto the ground and staining his mouth. I tackled Levi to the floor, determined that Eren could do it.

"WAIT A WHILE LONGER-"  
>"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" Levi roared, wrestling against me. We both freed ourselves from the tangle of bodies and looked over the edge, hearts pounding. Lena was still falling. Suddenly, a wave of nausea smacked me in the gut as I anticipated Lena's death. No, I hadn't been wrong. I couldn't be wrong. Please, don't let me be wrong.<p>

FLASH!

We both stopped moving, frozen on the rooftop as a blinding light exploded from the ground. It took me a few seconds to realise what was going on. Eren had transformed. When everything calmed down, I unshielded my eyes again and looked over the edge. Lena was in Eren's titan hands.

"PHEW!" I laughed, letting go of the tension that had nearly given me a heart attack. "That was close!" Beside me, Levi slumped onto the floor and clenched his fists, waiting for his heart to stop pounding. He breathed deeply, hands trembling.

"Tell no one of this, shitty-glasses." He threatened, eventually finding the strength to stand up. I stood up too. We headed back to the door leading to the HQ stairway and I clasped both hands behind my head.

"Say, Levi," I spoke. "Do you hate me?" Levi didn't reply. "No, Hanji!" I put on a high pitched voice and answered myself. "I understand the act you put up needed to be believable." The last thing I saw was a boot heading straight for my stomach.

**…**

**LENA-**

Suddenly, the earth stopped flying past and I was cupped in a burning hot layer of tissue. Eren quickly put me onto the floor, letting me roll off his gigantic fingertips. I curled up into a ball and whined in agony at my arm, feeling tears sting my eyes.

"Lena! Are you okay?!" Someone yelled. It was Petra.

"I'm fine!" I said through gritted teeth. "It's my arm!"

A few minutes later, the pain subsided enough for me to sit up. I gave the thumbs up to Eren, who seemed to not know what to do with himself. The whole of Levi's team were on high alert. They had seen Eren's half-transformation before when he had picked up the spoon a few days ago. The scars on their hands still signified their trust in him, but their human emotions created doubt nevertheless.

I was just being helped to my feet when Levi and Hanji ran over. Hanji practically leapt through the air. "AHHH!" She screamed. "EREN! SUCCESS!" Levi came straight over to me and looked me up and down, before violently spinning me around and looking again. He then turned me back around and flicked me on the nose.

"Brat." he scowled. "I wasn't worried." I gulped as I remembered what I had said.

"Y-you heard that?!"

"You keep getting yourself into more and more trouble! Try being more like the other new cadets." he ignored me. I pouted at him and batted my eyelashes.

"Okay, then Levi," I preened in a higher intonation than my usual speech. "Get me into the inner walls." I winked. Levi smacked me on the chin so that I bit my tongue.

"ITE!"

"Cocky brat." he sneered.

I sat out a little away from the action to watch the rest of the display. Hanji bounded around Eren, calling instructions to him as Levi watched with a constantly unimpressed expression. Eren raised his arms as Hanji examined his muscles, watching them contract and relax in a similar way to human muscles. Whenever Hanji tried to get Eren to speak, Eren made a few grunts like thunder and shook his head. Within two minutes, Eren started to respond less and less quickly to Hanji's commands, repeatedly shaking his huge head and pounding the ground until five minutes later, he stood up and completely ignored her.

"Sit down Eren!" Hanji shouted again. "Sit!"

"Hanji, we're taking over." Levi grunted. He signalled his squad to be ready and walked up to Eren. "Eren, listen to me." he commanded, his tone scarily serious. "Go back to human form." A distressed whine erupted from Eren's mouth, but nothing further happened.

"No, Levi!" Hanji shouted. "I haven't finished!"

"Well I have." Levi frowned. He fired out his 3DMG and propelled himself into the air, twisting and turning faster than I'd ever seen anyone move. This was the first time I had seen Levi in action and jesus, he was fast. Within seconds, he had cut Eren from the titan's body and dragged his scorching corps onto the grass. The titan frame immediately began to disappear into a cloud of smoke as Hanji cried out in frustration.

Eren was barely conscious. His eyes fluttered open and shut. His usual complexion was many shades lighter as he tried to focus on Levi who stood over him.

"How's your body?" Levi asked. Eren's head lolled forward.

"Not so... good." he said, before passing out.

Levi carried Eren's limp body in his arms back to Eren's dungeon (room) so that he could rest. Hanji had disappeared back to her lab, half-annoyed, half-ecstatic. Looking at Levi like this, he seemed very Prince-like... if not a miserable, unsociable prince. His strong arms easily held the boy, who was much taller than him, and he didn't once complain on the long walk down stairs to the dungeon.

"You look very princely." I commented, keeping my eyes forward to prevent myself from laughing. Levi said nothing and continued walking. "Eren would make a brilliant princess. He has nice eyes and conditioned hair."

"Have you been taking notice?" Levi asked, his eyes boring into the side of my head.

"I didn't mean like that." I snorted. Another silence dragged out between us.

"I'm still pissed at you." he broke the silence. My eyes shot over to him and my mouth gaped.

"You're annoyed with me?!" He just glared at me in response. "But I-!"

"I told you not to get into trouble." he interrupted.

"I helped, didn't I?" I pouted. What he had said had shaken me. I hadn't realised I had upset him that badly. I knew that he didn't want to risk someone's life for the sake of Eren's transformation, but I didn't know he was annoyed that I'd put myself at risk... again. "Sorry." I muttered, looking away. The hallways began to get darker and darker as we descended, but worst of all, the silence between us was no longer a comfortable silence, but an awkward one. All of a sudden, Levi spoke-

"I guess you'll have to repay me somehow." Levi said. I frowned.

"How?"

"Let's see..." he faked thinking deeply. "One day slave pass."

"No way."

"Who said it was a choice?"

"You'll just make me clean all day!"

"So?"

"No." I said, strongly. Levi shrugged, almost slipping his grip on Eren.

"Then I won't forgive you."

"This is blackmail."

"Exactly."

"But you-!" I cursed, getting frustrated. "Oh fine! One condition!"

"Why is this suddenly something to negotiate?" Levi huffed. He listened nonetheless.

"One slave day accounts for forgiveness of TWO occasions. This, and one other in the future."

"You're such a petty bitch." he spat. "Deal."

"Deal." I agreed, grinning. Levi looked at my gaping smile and sighed.

"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret that?" I just snickered.

…

"Welcome back, Erwin," Levi grunted. He didn't grunt in a disrespectful way, but he simply couldn't muster enough energy to make it seem like he was happy that Erwin had come back. Erwin nodded and thanked him.

We were sat in the dungeon when Erwin had arrived. I was leaning against the wall from my position on the floor outside Eren's cell bars. Levi was sat on the chair meant for Eren's night guard, one leg crossed over the other and his arms folded loosely across his broad chest. Eren was asleep on his bed, still recovering from the events of the day. When the commander entered, he spoke to Levi before nodding in recognition to me. I resisted the strong urge to stand and salute, before realising I was kind of disabled right now.

"I was looking for you, Levi," Erwin said. "I need to go over the expedition plans with you and Hanji this evening."

"Now, or after dinner tonight?"

"Now. There's a lot to talk about." Levi sighed and stood up, glancing at me before he left.

"You're not leaving?" He asked.

"No, I'll stay here until he wakes up." I replied, looking over at Eren's sleeping face. A piece of his fringe had dangled into his eyes and was tickling his eyelid. His eye twitched in irritation but he didn't wake.

"He's not going anywhere." Levi frowned. "Plus it's a bit creepy to watch someone sleep."

"I have nothing else to do." I shrugged. Erwin gave Levi a look that said 'hurry up', and Levi immediately followed. Just before he rounded the corner, he took one last brief look in my direction.

"Stalker." He muttered, before leaving.

I fumed.

It wasn't long before my bum was freezing cold on the stone slabs. I shuffled about in discomfort and in the end, stood to transfer myself over to the chair. As I sat, the wood groaned under my weight. I scowled at the chair. "You didn't do that for Levi." Twisting so that I was comfortable, the chair sighed again. "Oi, I'm not that fat."

"You can't possibly be talking to a chair." someone said. My head shot up and I saw that someone had entered the dungeon. It was a female with short black hair and a beautiful face. She looked oriental and I immediately deduced that she must be Eren's friend- Mikasa.

"Chairs have feelings too," I said. "You've come to see Eren?"

"Yeah, I heard that he collapsed." Her brow was furrowed with worry, emphasised by the line of her forehead.

"He's just resting after a transformation." I said, trying to ease her stress. "Do you want to sit?" I asked, standing up.

"No thanks." I sat back down slowly. She pressed her face between the bars and sighed deeply. "Was this that short-bastard's fault?" she swore, mostly to herself.

"Short?" I raised an eyebrow. "You don't mean Levi, do you?"

"Just calling him Levi... Are you two close?" If I had been drinking, I'd have spat it out.

"No!" I spluttered. "He's just the leader of my team... for now."

"I see."

"Anyway, it wasn't his fault. It was mine." It was clear that Mikasa thought there was something else to it (or she didn't believe me), because the physical attack I expected next never happened.

"What?"

"Hanji wanted to conduct an experiment, and Levi was against it." I shrugged. "I gave them an idea and Levi was not happy about it. It all worked out though."

"What idea?" Mikasa said, dangerously.

"I'll let Eren tell you, but he wasn't in any real danger."

"Good." She said, turning back to look at her friend. "I don't know what I'd do without him."

This made me think. Was there anyone in my life that I couldn't live without? Anyone who's death would tear me apart?... I considered it. Ava, Guthrie and Kurt were my dearest friends. Recently, they had helped me through so much and we had gotten ever closer. I don't think I could live without them. Then there was my brother... Yet I lived without him everyday; I had no idea where he was. I'd already lost my mother and sister in the titan attack. My father had also gone missing, but there were rumours floating around that he was dead. I'd already experienced the pain of losing someone important to me...

I think, if I lost Levi...

I laughed. Mikasa looked at me, puzzled. "Sorry, I was just thinking of something." I shook my head. Levi couldn't die; he was humanity's strongest. I'd be eaten a thousand times over before a titan even got close enough to munch on his leg. I felt my stomach twist. Bad. Bad. Don't think such things- you're disgusting! I shuddered. The titans were a terrifying set of beasts. They ate and ate, without need or mercy. They crushed. They smiled. They-

_Bile swirled in my stomach, made worse by the constant jolting and lack of oxygen. I ran; I ran faster than I thought my legs were capable. Beside me, my mother dragged my little sister, constantly screaming at her to speed up. I was consumed by a violent panic. My heart beat drummed louder and louder, accompanied by the crescendo of roaring blood that even managed to block out the staccato of my heart. People screamed like badly tuned violins in this hell-ish orchestra my life had become. No words; just screams._

_Everything seemed to be against me now. I felt the very air push against my body as I resisted it, running for my life. Again and again, I saw the people being plucked from the earth like flowers, and crushed between teeth that sent only petals of blood to the floor. Those petals were the only sign that those people had ever lived. Later, they too would be washed away by rain._

_Suddenly, a cloud of dust exploded to my right and consumed the air, turning it into poison that I sucked in sharply. Coughing coughing, spluttering but still running, running until-_

"_LENA!" someone screamed. A child. My sister. "HELP ME! MUMMY!" The whole world stopped. I skidded to a halt, turned and looked up in time to see my sister's screaming body get crushed between giant jaws. Petals of blood erupted from her now limp form, falling onto my face as I stared at the grotesque monster before me. A drop of blood landed on my tongue. I threw up._

"How long has he been unconscious?" Mikasa asked, smashing me back into reality. I covered my mouth with my hand, heaving. She turned and looked at me, confused.

"S-sorry." I said. "I've got to go." With that, I stood up and left.

**LEVI-**

"We leave for the expedition the day after tomorrow." Erwin said. My eyebrows shot up.

"What about the new cadets?" I asked.  
>"They're coming too."<p>

"What?!" Hanji gasped. "They'll mostly die!"

"I'm waging everything on this." Erwin replied. I gauged his expression, trying to figure out his plan. "For now, we need to make plans to instruct the whole legion on our new plan and spend tomorrow preparing to leave."

"Alright." I agreed. "What do we do with Lena?"

"Who?" Erwin frowned.

"The new cadet who's broken her arm."

"She can stay." he dismissed. I felt a weight on my shoulders lift slightly.

We continued to discuss the expedition plans until far past dinner time. I was beginning to feel hungry and irritated as Erwin discussed every minute detail. Eventually, though, he rounded up the meeting. I stood up to leave, feeling very conflicted. If what Erwin was saying was true... Well, I'd rather not skip to conclusions. But it was clear that this expedition could be vital; Hanji sensed it too.

We walked in a thoughtful silence to the dinner hall and I opened the door, immediately being smacked with a wave of chatter. "Ugh." I grumbled.

"Come on Levi," Hanji grinned. "Let's eat."

Walking into the room, I spotted Lena sat with Guthrie and Ava. Their other friend seemed to be sat elsewhere for once. There was a space on their table; I eyed it up. I took my food and made my way to their table. Placing down my food opposite Lena, the three of them looked up.

"Heichou!" Guthrie and Ava shot to attention.

"Levi." Lena nodded.

"Stalker." I nodded back. Steam practically vented from her ears, but she calmed herself and sipped the soup she had. "What was his sleeping face like?" I asked. Lena dropped her spoon clumsily and scowled at me.

"Beautiful. Just beautiful." She said sarcastically, picking up her spoon with her left hand again.

"Did the brat wake up?"

"I left when Mikasa came." Lena shrugged.

"Ah," I mused. "Stalker vs stalker. That would have been funny."

"Who have you been stalking, Lena?" Guthrie joined in, sensing the casual atmosphere.

"I haven't." Lena gave Guthrie a stare that said 'one more word and I shove this spoon down your throat'. He chuckled. Lena fiddled with the spoon again, clearly having trouble.

"Do you need help?" Guthrie asked, reaching to take the spoon from her hand. I moved fast, before my brain had even caught up, and snatched the spoon from her hand. She looked at me quizzically.

"Open up, brat." I grinned, moving the spoon to her lips. She blushed madly, face turning from a pale peach to a crimson red in seconds.

"N-no thanks!" she stammered. I smiled even more, drinking in her embarrassed blush. Wow, her eyes were so attractive today. I couldn't tell whether it was the lighting or what, but her irises looked like melted chocolate and the angle from which I sat across from her accentuated how long her eyelashes were.

"Come on," I smirked. "You're clearly having trouble." Lena pouted at me, before practically biting the spoon off. She moved so fast I barely even knew she'd done it. "Is it nice?" I asked.

"What's with you, suddenly..." She turned her face as she swallowed to try and hide her blush.

"Heichou, I think you should stop teasing her now." Guthrie joked. I narrowed my eyes at him. For some reason, this guy really pissed me off. In reply to him, I lifted another spoon full of soup to Lena's lips. Eventually, Lena stopped blushing and finished her meal (with my help). I tucked into my own, which was now cold, as she chatted with her friends.

"You made a new record in the obstacle course?!" Lena gasped. "That's great!"

"New under 25's record." Guthrie corrected. "Levi heichou holds the main record." Lena glanced at me; I huffed.

"But maybe one day, I'll be as great at Levi heichou." Guthrie smiled at me politely, but all I could muster back was another 'hn'.

"Unsociable bastard." Lena muttered under her breath. Guthrie elbowed her as I dealt her my best 'do you want to die' look. I guess she was still annoyed at me calling her a stalker.

"What have you been up to today?" Ava changed the subject.

"This and that," Lena shrugged. "I went to the market. Which was... f-fun." Only I noticed the stammer in her words as she remembered the earlier incident. I met her eyes, remembering how she had sobbed into my shirt... Che, that'd need some serious washing now. "How did you do in the obstacle course?"

"Really badly." Ava sighed. "I'm not that strong, so I relied on others to push me over."

"You're really good with horses though," Lena complimented her. "I can't even look at one without something bad happening."

"You can't look at _anything_ without something bad happening." I sniffed. Lena glared at me. When she didn't blink at me, holding my eyes for over thirty seconds, Ava quietly nudged her.

"What are you doing?" She whispered.

"Waiting for something bad to happen, like his face might turn into a pile of horse shit or something."

"Oh, and that'd be a bad thing?" I smirked.

"Yeah of course," Lena rolled her eyes, breaking eye contact. "You'd lose all those _stunning _good looks you have."

Petra tapped me on the shoulder before I could retort. I twisted in my seat to look at her. She stood next to Erdo.

"Heichou, we're having a party tonight before we go out on the expedition." she said. "If you want to come, then we'll be in that empty room on the top floor again." I paused, remembering the last party we had... then shivered.

"No thanks." I muttered, turning back to Lena.

"Ahh heichou!" Petra whined. More people whining. Petra must have picked up the habit from Lena.

"I don't feel like spending the whole night up and the whole morning flat out on the floor. I have work to do, unlike some."

"You don't have to stay all night." Erdo joined in.

"Yeah, Levi. Go." Lena added. I could tell she was enjoying putting me under pressure.

"Fine," I sighed. "But I'm not staying for long. And you lot better not get as pissed as last time. I'm not cleaning up your shit."

"We won't!" Petra grinned. I knew straight away that I was going to regret this. "Oh and Lena, why don't you come too?" I almost choked.

"You can't encourage a minor to fall down to your levels." I chided.

"Minor?!" Lena spat. "I'm twenty!"

"You're barely out of nappies mentally."

"Oi!" Lena growled. "I wasn't going to ruin your fun, but now somehow I want to." She stood up and looked straight over my head at Petra. "What time, Petra?"

"We were thinking about 8ish, so that we can finish sooner."

"Sure, thanks for the invite." Lena crossed to the other side of the table and stood in front of me. I glanced up, frowning. "I'll show you." She said, flicking me on the nose before walking swiftly off. I rubbed the spot on my nose, frustrated.

Maybe, I'd started a war that I couldn't win.

**AN: I love author notes, if you hadn't guessed.**

**Anyway, the OCD joke was actually something my friend heard and she told me the other day. I'm not going to claim credit for it. I forgot to mention that :L**

**There has been so much drama with Lena... but I'm about to switch that. It may get confusing, but I'll explain it in an author note later if I think that maybe I've not written it as well as I could.**

**I'm so impressed with the amount of feedback I'm getting on this. I know that people don't usually like ! I hope you like Lena. After this story has finished, I might write another with Levi... I hope you support me in that story too! This story has lacked the description I usually put in other stories so I might do a very short and very descriptive one :D**

**Bye bye!**


	7. THE RESOLVE 1

**AN: From now on, I will use these names: Eld Jinn (not Erdo), Oluo Bozado (not Auruo), Petra Ral, Gunther Schultz :)**

**THE RESOLVE 1**

"What are you going to wear, heichou?" Gunther asked. He had brought a cup of tea to my room, probably as an excuse to chat. I gestured to my uniform. "You're kidding?" he replied, mouth gaping.

"No. Like I said, I'm not staying long."

"Oh come on heichou." Gunther smiled. "Let me help."  
>"I don't need help to dress myself." I snorted, drawing the curtains and lighting the torch in the corner of my room.<p>

"I know, but don't you want to impress Petra?" My head shot up.

"Petra?"

"Sir, I know it's not my place," Gunther started, being careful about his tone. "But I think you and Petra make a good couple." I just stared at him.

"Petra?" I repeated again, completely dumb-struck at this turn of conversation.

"Yeah. Don't you think so?" I lit the candles on my desk so that my room flickered and the darkness shrunk back into the corners.

"There's no room for love in a world where we kill to survive." I said, removing my cravat and opening the top buttons on my shirt. Shadows danced across the white material, twisting and flickering.

"Surely, that's where love is at it's strongest?" he replied. I paused. "If there's something you need to protect, love becomes stronger. It's not something that can be cast aside and ignored. It's what can help you get through hell... if you let it."

"Soppy bastard. Get out if you're going to preach."

"S-sorry sir." Gunther moved to the door, placing his hand over the handle without opening it. "But, think about what I said, okay?" I just grunted and Gunther smiled. He left shortly after.

"Soppy bastard." I repeated to myself.

I decided to go for Gunther's advice, remembering that last time someone had spilled alcohol all over my shirt. They had barely survived the next day and eventually got a transfer to another squad. Yet, this time I wasn't going to get my uniform dirty. Instead, I opened my wardrobe and frowned at the contents. It had been so long since I had worn anything but my uniform. My eyes drifted to the side of the wardrobe where Lena had crouched a few days ago... Heh. She was an interesting cadet.

I pulled out a light blue shirt and hung it on the wardrobe door, unbuttoning my uniform shirt. I tried to ignore the scars across my chest; I tried not to remember the times where people had died when I'd not been strong enough to protect them. Quickly, I hid the scars again and re-buttoned the shirt. In the end, I decided on black trousers. I re-adjusted my cravat so that the scars across my chest were completely hidden once more.

When 8 o'clock came, I started to make my way for the room upstairs. Usually, Petra and the others set up chairs and tables with drinks before everyone got there. This party was almost a ritual before a big expedition. In case one of us didn't come back, then the ones remaining would still have memories. That was the unspoken truth, covered up by the excuse 'it's just a bit of fun'. Petra had started it and she only opened it up to a few people. This time, I guessed she'd invite Eren since he was a recent addition to the team.

Sure enough, upon opening the door I saw that Eren, Mikasa and Armin were sat at tables already set out. A few people that I hardly recognised milled about, chatting. It seemed Lena hadn't arrived yet, but Petra and Gunther were sat playing cards, whilst Eld and Oluo watched. Petra spotted me and beckoned me over. I sank into a seat at their table and crossed one leg over the other.

"Evening, heichou. Want to play?" Gunther asked.

"No, you carry on." I sniffed.

"Want a drink?" Petra was already pouring a glass for me as she asked.

"What would you do if I said no?" She laughed as I took the glass anyway and downed it.

"Hey, slow down heichou!" She grinned. "You've got the whole night left!"

"Not the whole night," I frowned. "An hour, maximum."

"Oh you spoil sport. Have fun! Let go!"

"Hn."

I was distracted by Lena cautiously opening the door. She peered around the edge until Petra stood up and waved. Stepping into the room, I found myself staring at what she was wearing. It wasn't exactly revealing -or even special- but it was different from what I was expecting... I don't know what I was expecting to be honest.

She wore rather tight fitting trousers (but not as tight at Petra's) along with a burgundy blouse that accentuated her dark brown eyes. Her sling stood out like a sore thumb- bright white upon dark, Autumn colours. But what stood out to me the most wasn't her clothes or sling... It was her hair. It was the first time I'd properly seen it down and I could only gaze at how it tumbled down to her shoulders and sat there, bouncing slightly as she walked. It was such a beautiful colour: not light enough to be blonde, yet hardly dark enough to be called brown. She sat in the seat next to me and Petra.

"Hello, heichou." She said. "Are you ready to see how much of a 'minor' I am?" My mouth gaped like a goldfish for a second.

"Speaking of minors, Armin, Eren and Mikasa aren't allowed to touch even one drop of alcohol." I warned Petra. She laughed.

"So caring."

"I'm not being caring; I'm worrying about the mess. What if Eren turned into a titan or something?" For some reason, words weren't flowing off my tongue like they usually did. I poured myself another glass and downed it.

"Woah, so eager!" Petra raised an eyebrow. I ignored her, watching from the corner of my eye as Lena sipped on her own alcohol.

"Hey, cricket!" someone called. Lena nearly spat out her drink as she looked up at a man with long blond hair.

"It's you!" She said. He grinned at her and pulled up Petra's seat at our table. I frowned, glancing between them.

"The name's Stein." He said, extending a hand to Lena. Lena reached across with her own hand, until she realised it was wrong one. Stein burst into a loud, thunderous laugh. "Sorry."

"It's fine. I'm Lena."

"That's a great name!" He complimented. I poured myself another glass, grinding my teeth. "Doesn't that mean 'the bright one'?"

"I don't know," Lena shrugged. "I just thought it was an abbreviation of Elena."

"Whatever, it suits you. You seem pretty bright." He smiled kindly at her. I snorted.

"She's as bright as a blown out candle." I insulted her, downing yet another glass as Lena shot me a glare and turned back to smile at Stein politely.

"No, I meant bright as in cheerful."

"Thanks, Stein!" Lena smiled at him again, before sticking her tongue out at me. I poured yet another glass, feeling my frustrations rise even further. I didn't like this guy. "Oi, oi," Lena muttered. "Aren't you drinking too much?"

"I can hold it." I grunted, standing up quickly to leave their sickening conversation. I felt dizzy, but ignored the feeling and stumbled off towards Petra who was stood against the wall sipping on alcohol.

"Heichou, you're not drunk, are you?" Petra allowed her mouth to twitch slightly as I walked over unsteadily.

"Fuck off. How weak do you think my stomach is?" I quickly replied.

"You haven't even diluted your drink. You're just drinking it neat."

"I know."

"Heichou?"

"What?"

"Later, I have something to tell you. Will you listen?" Petra looked at me, suddenly very serious. I froze, a drink touching my lip.

"Sure, go on?"

"No, not now." Petra ran a hand through her hair and smiled to herself. "I'm not nearly drunk enough to say it now." I shrugged, tasting the alcohol swirl around my mouth, livening my taste-buds. It was bitter, but addictive. I had started to feel thirsty, letting the alcohol quench my thirst. "Hey, Levi." Petra suddenly snapped out of her thoughts and beamed at me. "Shall we liven this party up?"

Half an hour later, and Petra's plan to 'liven' things up had definitely succeeded. I'd slowed down my drinking, but not stopped as Petra introduced a few games with forfeits. Lena on the other hand was drinking more. She was soon tipsy.

"Heeiichou." She whined from her seat next to mine.  
>"What, brat?" I slurred.<p>

"Aren't you hot? I'm hot."

"No."

"Why don't you take your tie thingy off?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't want to. Get off me, brat." I shrugged her lazily off as she yanked onto my cravat in an attempt to take it off.

"But heichouu... You make me hot just looking at it."

"Think about what you're saying."

"Eh, why?"

"Never mind."

She retreated back into her seat, her eyes falling onto the table as she struggled to think straight. I found myself reaching over to lift up a lock of her hair and twist it gently between two fingers. She half-turned to look at me, her brown eyes meeting mine.

God, her eyes were stunning.

My hand found it's way deeper into her hair, stoking it softly. It was so smooth and light. A slight blush tainted her cheeks as she watched me. All of a sudden, I withdrew my hand and took a swig of my drink. Ugh, the drink must have been getting to me worse than I thought. I should probably stop.

"Who's next?" Gunther called, gathering up the cards again.

"Hey, corporal." Lena grinned, tapping me on the shoulder. "Do you know how to play snap?"

"Who doesn't know how to play snap?" I snorted. "It's for kids."

"I challenge you to a game of snap!" Lena pointed at me, so close that her finger almost touched my nose. I shoved her away and crossed my arms. "Oh come on!" She sighed.

"One game." I grunted.

Five games later.

Lena had to be the shittest player of snap ever. Whether the alcohol had slowed her reactions, or she was just crap, I'd won five games in a row. Most of the cards were in my hands again. She scowled at the pack, squinting for a match. Her whole body was tense. I laid down another card.

"Snap."

"WHAT?!" She exclaimed, immediately checking. I was right. "This isn't fair!" she huffed. We began again, one card after another. Eventually, another pair appeared after she put down a card. I hovered my hand over the pile but she didn't even flinch.

"Do you even know how to play?" I smirked.

"Why?"

"There's a pair right there and you haven't called snap."

"Oh!" Her hand swooped down to hit the card but mine was there before hers. Her hand slapped onto mine.

"Oi brat! That hurt!" I complained. "Your reactions are terrible."  
>"It's the alcohol."<p>

"I've drunk more than you." I raised an eyebrow.

"Not that much more." She pouted back, her hand still on mine.

"I could drink double what you've drunk, on top of what I've already drunk, and _still _beat you at snap."

"Rubbish! I'm not that bad!"

"I'll prove it. How much have you drunk?"

"Three glasses?" She guessed. I grabbed a bottle from another table and reached for my glass.

"So that's six glasses." I poured myself a glass and downed it. Then another. And another.

"Hey!" Lena gasped, reaching over to stop me. I pushed her away, filling another glass. "Hey no that's dangerous!" I ignored her and finished my sixth glass, gasping for air. "Heichou!"

"Shuffle the cards." I ordered. "We're going again."

**LENA-**

Once again, the corporal had beaten me. But this time, it had been close. He was starting to suffer the affects of the alcohol, his head lolling forward occasionally. I'd stopped drinking, feeling responsible for the corporal's condition. He slumped in his chair, black hair falling into his eyes. I have to admit, he looked attractive like that. It was the one time he had let go of his strong bravado, a red tinge to his cheeks and a zoned-out expression. I felt like all of a sudden, I could see some more of his true self.

"Corporal," I muttered to him. He raised his head and squinted at me.

"Ah?"

"Want me to take you back to your room?" I asked. He paused, before smirking. He leaned over to my seat and flicked my nose. It hurt and he'd probably put more strength in than he'd realised, but I let it go.

"You shouldn't say stuff like that." He muttered, warm breath tickling my neck. Every hair on my body raised to attention and I gulped, a slow blush appearing on my cheeks.

"I didn't mean it like that..."

"You're blushing." He stared into my eyes, his face only centimetres away from my own. I could smell the alcohol, masking his strong, masculine scent. His pupils were dilated; it hardly seemed like he was even looking at me.

"H-heichou," I stammered. "You're close-"

"I know."

"Can you m-move away?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I like it here." He moved his chair closer to mine and leaned across again to look into my eyes, one arm resting on the back of my chair.

"You're drunk." I sniffed, turning my face away but still on high alert, knowing his presence was still lingering close to my body. I felt him suddenly lean onto my left shoulder, nearly making me jump.

"Let me stay here," he mumbled, sending a shiver across my chest where his breath lingered. "Just a while longer." I gulped again.

"H-heichou?!" I heard a voice gasp. Petra was beaming, looking at the drunk corporal who had taken residence on my shoulder. "He's really drunk, isn't he?" I was going to nod, until I remembered the man on my shoulder.

"Ah, Petra..." Levi grunted, shifting his head to look up at her. "You had something to say?" She thought, her eyes wandering at the scene in front of her, before she shook her head.

"No, it doesn't matter any more." Her voice appeared sad, despite her jovial smile. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Look after him for me, okay?" and then she walked away. I stared after her.

I could only contemplate what she had meant. As I did so, Levi settled into my shoulder more and began to breathe slowly. "Oh no you don't!" I muttered, knowing he probably wasn't paying attention any more. "There's no way I'm carrying you so wake up!"

"Mnn..." He replied, clearly in no mood to move. I shrugged him off and he rolled back into his chair. With my help, he eventually stood up. I grimaced against the pain as he hung onto me across my shoulders. We ambled towards the door, avoiding eye contact as I awkwardly opened the door. Leaving the room was like being smacked in the face by silence. With Levi on one arm, I began to lead him back to his room.

"Lena," he mumbled. I barely heard him as my ears were throbbing. "Lena. Don't do that again."

"W-what?" I stuttered, frowning.

"What d'you mean what?" He slurred. "Jumping off a... a fuckin' building for one."

"You said you had forgiven me!" I almost dropped him there and then.

"I can't. What if..." His weight suddenly lifted from me and he staggered on alone, hitting both walls as I followed cautiously. He was walking like a pinball. "What if I'd lost you?" I said nothing, heart pounding in my chest. "Like everyone else... What if..." He stopped walking and leant against the wall. I gave him my strength and we carried on again.

"Don't 'what if'." I said. "If I said 'what if's then I don't think I'd have been able to stay sane these past few years." Levi looked at me, though his eyes couldn't stay focussed for long.

"Why?"

"'What if I'd have tried to save my sister?' and 'What if I had stood up again afterwards and mum had not needed to wait for me?'... Those types of things." Levi was silent as we descended to the floor of his room. I reached his door and opened it, following him inside as he collapsed onto his bed.

He laid, splayed out, sweating slightly with his arms above his head and one leg dangling from the bed. I walked over to him and tugged at his tie-thing to remove it. One of his hands lazily reached up and stopped me. I blushed heavily.

"No!" I shook my head quickly. "I wasn't going to-"

"No..." he mumbled. "There's scars... I don't want to see them." I frowned, placing his hand back on the bed and untying his tie while he moaned in annoyance. I opened his top buttons awkwardly with one hand to allow air to his chest... and saw them.

I'd seen the smaller scars before- ones on his arms and legs and shoulders... But he always wore his shirts buttoned up to hide the largest ones criss-crossing his chest. They were deep and I winced just thinking about them.

"Button it up." He said. I just ignored him and yanked the blanket from under him. Then, I laid it over him and opened a window. "No. The papers, brat..." he mumbled again.

"Stop complaining, jeez!" I huffed, closing the window once more. "Will you be okay on your own?" I asked.

"What if I said no?"

"Then I'm leaving anyway."

"Brat." He grunted as I tucked the sheets in like a child and leaned over him.

"Night Levi," I moved forward without thinking and kissed his forehead. As I pulled back, he grabbed my arm and shot upwards, smacking his lips onto mine. He held it for a few seconds, before dropping back onto his bed, grinning to himself.

"You call that a kiss?" He grinned, closing his eyes. "Brat..."

And he was gone.

I closed his door behind me and sank down onto the concrete, clutching my heart.

I was about to have a heart attack, I swear.

…

"Lena?" someone called. I slowly regained consciousness and noticed that I was back in bed. There was a feminine voice softly calling me and a cold hand nudged my arm. "Lena, wake up."  
>"Mmmph..."<p>

"Lena, breakfast is in twenty minutes."

"Thanks..."

"You need to get up."

"I know."

"NOW." My eyes snapped open and I winced at the sudden light.

"Oh my god." I yawned, rubbing my eyes wearily. "You're scary in the mornings, Ava."

"Sorry," I saw her smile, the light from a lit torch illuminating a gold lining around her blonde hair. "You need to eat though."

"I do." I sat up and stretched.

"Are you hungover?" she asked, gently. I contemplated it and shook my head from side to side.

"I don't think so..." Then, I grinned. "But I know someone who will be."

"Lena!" I turned around on my way to breakfast with Ava and saw Guthrie and Kurt. Kurt waved. "How was last night?"

"It was fun," I smiled. "I mostly played cards all night."  
>"Ahh, so innocent." Kurt shook his head, smiling. He ran a hand through his hair and asked, "Did anything happen with the corporal?" A blush didn't just tinge my cheeks, it burned them. "Ah!" Kurt exclaimed, pointing in accusation. "It DID!"<p>

"No, no!" I shook my head frantically. "I just remembered something embarrassing."  
>"What?"<p>

"No just something I said when I was tipsy." I lied.

"To the corporal?"

"No. Actually, I hardly saw him all night." How long was my nose? I swear it was already in the canteen.

"Hmm?" Kurt frowned, but he dropped the matter.

We entered the food hall to the usual buzz of noise. One table was particularly buzzing; Petra and the rest were all discussing the night before and giggling. I got my food and apologised to Guthrie, Kurt and Ava.

"Sorry, guys. I'm going to sit here today."

"That's okay!" Ava smiled. Guthrie nodded too.  
>"Betrayer." Kurt stuck out his tongue, jokingly.<p>

I placed my tray next to Petra and smiled at her.

"How you feeling?"

"Great," I grinned. "Any good stories?"

"I was hoping you'd have some." Petra winked. "You took Levi back to his room, right?" I blushed again.

"That's all!" I protested. "Nothing happened!"

"Ahhh shame." She sighed. "That's the first time the corporal has gotten drunk with us."

"Really? He was drinking so quickly."

"I don't know why he decided last night that he was going to drink so much, but I'm glad he did."

"Ah, actually." I started, remembering something. "That might be my fault. He downed six extra glasses in a row when I blamed the alcohol for me losing to him at snap."

"Ah, is that so." Petra giggled. "Hey, look!" she whispered. "Speak of the devil!"

Sure enough, Levi entered the room. There was absolutely nothing out of place with him; if I was expecting some sloppy, half-dressed, dead-looking monster to drag itself through the door, I was surprised. He walked as normal and it was only when I got closer that I noticed his dark eyes and exhausted expression. He looked like he had been woken from a thousand year sleep eight hundred years too soon.

"Morning, heichou." Petra smiled.

"Morning." I chimed too.

"Nn." He grunted back, lethargically tucking into his food.

"How's your head?" I grinned.

"Fine."

"Do you even remember last night?"

"Crickets, snap and alcohol. I remember it." I felt a small part of my stomach twist in anxiety... He remembered the kiss?

"You should thank Lena for taking you back to your room." Petra said. Levi looked up, frowning, before quickly masking it and nodding.  
>"Thanks." he muttered. Petra's eyes narrowed, then looked at me. Her lip perked up at one side before she returned to a normal expression.<p>

"It's a shame Hanji left early." she continued as I looked at her quizzically.

"Probably had something waiting to be dissected." Levi shrugged. Petra's smile broadened.

"Caught ya." She snickered.

"Huh?"

"Hanji stayed all night and came to visit you in your room... don't you remember?" Levi just grimaced and looked away, sipping his tea. His hand covered his face, but it was clear he had just been busted. "You don't, do you?!" Petra was enjoying this maybe a little too much. I didn't know if I was relieved or annoyed that Levi didn't remember most of the night.

"How much do you remember?" I tried to ask casually. Levi set down his tea and squinted, thinking.

"It goes blurry after our fifth game of cards." He said. I sighed and relaxed my shoulders. He caught this out of the corner of his gaze and glanced at me.

"Well, after that," Petra continued, loving the fact that she was in the power. "Lena took you back to your room and me and Hanji came to see if you were okay later. You were asleep muttering something about cleaning products not being enough to clean up after Eren. So Hanji suggested we try that psychology trick where you repeat things to someone and ask them questions and they respond honestly." Petra was already giggling to herself whilst Levi was scowling.

"That shitty four-eyes." he cursed. I was intrigued and leaned forward to listen.

"First we just kept repeating the word 'Eren' and eventually you started swearing under your breath." Levi snorted, emptying his cup and stacking it onto his plate. "Then, we asked you what you thought of Hanji and you just grunted- Shitty glasses." Levi stood up as I giggled and began to walk away. "Then," Petra continued a little louder as I took a sip of orange juice, enthralled. "We asked you what you thought of Lena." Levi's steps halted and I almost spat out the drink in my mouth. I began spluttering after I swallowed the liquid and caught Levi glancing back over one shoulder. Petra and Levi stared each other out for a few seconds, before Levi sniffed and walked off. I finished my fit and turned to Petra.

"What did he say?" I whispered, though Levi couldn't hear.

"Nothing." Petra smiled. "We did try that psychology thing but he just slept. He didn't respond so we were going to draw on his face. That's when he woke up and kicked us outside but I guess he doesn't remember that part." I sighed and shook my head.  
>"You shouldn't wind him up like that, Petra."<p>

"Well, we don't often get the chance." She smiled back, showing me her perfectly straight teeth and tilting her head so that her soft, short hair tickled her neck.

"Ahh, I'd like to know what he'd say though." I smirked, wondering about it. "Probably, 'shitty brat' or something."

"Or something." Petra turned away still smiling. She had been very mysterious today. I was about to ask her more, but decided against it. Kurt waved at me as him and Guthrie approached the door to leave. I nodded at them and stood to leave.

"See you, Petra." I smiled.  
>"Bye, Lena."<p>

**AN: Ahh, this chapter is late. I write these on a different laptop to what I post them on because my laptop broke and doesn't connect to the internet any more... I've only just gotten the chance to upload them :)**

**I'm really looking forward to what I have planned next because I'm going to ram in some description for once. It may take a while longer than usual to update but I hope it'll be worth it.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! **


	8. THE RESOLVE 2

**...**

**THE RESOLVE 2**

As time passed, the atmosphere within the scouting headquarters grew tenser and tenser. The prospect of the expedition the following morning was frightening; by the time evening came (after the hours of cramming in lectures and preparation), you could have sliced the air with a knife. The hallways were unusually quiet. Dinner had came and passed with barely a murmur of noise- guilt tore at my insides; knowing that I would be safe at home while my friends risked their lives was terrible. The relationship between myself and Luann at the best of times was fragile. Right now, she was livid. I could only look away when she glared at me during dinner.

_Yes, I'm pathetic. While you're risking your lives, I'll be drinking tea waiting for your return. Yes, it isn't fair. Yes, you're jealous. Yes, I'm relieved..._

_So disgustingly relieved that I'm not in your position. _

Myself and Ava had risked the wrath of the ranks in order to sit in Guthrie and Kurt's room. Kurt was quietly cleaning his boots whilst Guthrie was laid on the top bed, staring at the ceiling. His eyes searched the white, bare surface for cracks and shadows. Ava was huddled in the corner, holding her knees with her head on her arms. Two other boys were sharing the room on the other side. They were from our intake too and used the bunk bed opposite to Kurt and Guthrie. I stood by the door, leaning on the wall.

The silence screamed louder than words.

"Ahh," I sighed, feigning content. "I can't wait for winter to come."

"Mmm," Kurt muttered, attempting to gratify my plan to break the silence. "It better snow." I tried to search for something else to say, but ended up on the verge of breaking. "When winter comes, I'm going to put snow in heichou's boots." Kurt grunted, trying again to keep the conversation flowing. "That'll teach him for saying my room smells worse than titan shit."

"He'll kill you." I laughed. It sounded so false, echoing melancholy within the stone walls.

"If the titans don't kill you first." One of the boys across the room muttered. Ava whimpered in the corner, quickly trying to hide it. I froze. Guthrie still had said nothing.

_Someone, stop this. I can't take it._

"When winter comes," I spoke again, hiding the shake in my voice. "I'm going to make a snowman and tie Levi's cravat to it's neck."

"I guess Levi should be scared this winter." Kurt joked. It didn't sound like a joke. His usual cheerfulness had decimated.

"Levi doesn't get scared." I shook my head. The boy across the room stirred again.

"Levi might not, but we do." he spat bitterly. Kurt slammed down his boot and stood up from his bed.  
>"Ernest!" he growled. "Would you stop talking like that?!" Ernest sat up and snarled at Kurt.<p>

"Like what?!" he barked. "I'm just saying the truth!"

"We don't NEED the truth!"

"You don't WANT the truth!"  
>"No, I don't!" Kurt yelled. "No I fucking don't!"<p>

"None of us do!"

"Then why are you being so god-damn negative?" Kurt snapped. Ernest turned his glare from Kurt to me. I started.

"Because _that cow_ thinks she can waltz in, happy as a pig in shit, trying to cheer us up when she's got no FUCKING CLUE what we're feeling!"

"She knows EXACTLY how we're feeling!" Kurt argued back. I averted my eyes from Ernest, guilt stabbing me in the chest.

"Oh does she?!" Ernest clambered down from his bed to face Kurt and I. Guthrie had sat up on his bed now and Ava had raised her red-rimmed eyes to look at us. "Then she knows that we want her to just fucking disappear!"

"Don't speak to her like that!"

"Get out!" Ernest was ignoring Kurt now. His eyes were burning with fresh hatred towards me. My hand shook at my side; what was I supposed to do?

"You get out!" Kurt defended me still. I wanted to tell him to stop defending me. Blame me. Hate me. But my mouth trembled and my skin burned under the hate cascading over me.

"Kurt!" I stammered, finding a voice in my throat. "Y-you can stop. He's right." Kurt's eyes softened and he halted the words in his throat.

"There you go again!" Ernest's ice blue eyes cut through me. He stepped forward and pushed my shoulder into the wall. I cried out unintentionally. "Stop acting like you know how we feel!" He moved his face closer to mine, teeth bared like a wolf. "Get the fuck out of my face." He spat, jolting me against the wall. The door slammed open and the pressure on my shoulder suddenly released.

"What the fuck is going on?" A growl resonated from behind me as I stared at the far wall in shock. When I finally looked around, I saw that Levi had Ernest's neck in one hand, grasping it so hard that Ernest gasped for air. He had slammed open the door, examined the scene and acted faster than my eyelids could move.

"Levi," I murmured. I noticed then that Guthrie was half-way down the steps to the top bunk and Kurt had shifted to just behind where Ernest had been. A shiver rustled through my bones and I breathed deeply.

"Come with me, brat." Levi instructed Ernest, tossing him out of the room with one hand. "Girls. Back to your rooms. All of you, get some rest." He slammed the door so hard that the door-frame rattled.

"Lena." Guthrie whispered, coming over to my side. "Are you okay?" I just gulped and nodded.

"We'll be leaving now." I said, heading over to where Ava still sat against the wall. "Sorry for disturbing you."

"Lena." Kurt touched my arm as I walked past. "Come wave us off tomorrow, okay?" I paused.

"Of course." Then, I squatted down to Ava's level, offering out my hand to her. "Let's go back, okay?" She nodded.

I led her down the corridor and back to our room. There was no sign of Ernest or Levi. Opening the door to our room, I let Ava walk past before shutting the door. We were isolated again in that windowless dungeon.

Ava began getting ready for bed and I soon copied. She crawled onto the top bunk and I saw the mattress above me sink as she laid down. The sheets under me crumpled as I laid down too, trying to get comfortable. "Good night, Ava." I murmured, just loud enough for her to hear.

"Good night." Ava mumbled back. She had been sniffling for a full hour now. It was clear that she was crumbling under the pressure... and there was nothing I could say that would make her feel any better.

I just hoped tomorrow passed quickly.

…

The rustling of the mattress above me caused me to wake up. I opened my eyes wearily but didn't stir. Ava hopped down from the bunk and started to get ready. She put on her shirt, fingers trembling as she tried to push the buttons through. Sitting down on the wooden chair in our room, she did up her boots and straps. I feigned waking, sitting up slowly to yawn.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" she asked softly. I shook my head. It was so dark in our room. The only patch of light came from under the door where someone had already lit the corridor torch. Ava opened the door and kept it open by moving the chair. As she did so, light flooded in again and I could see Ava's face. Her eyes were wide and she looked pale.

"Can you stand by the door while I change?" I asked, swivelling my legs over the edge of the bed.

"Of course." Ava said, standing in the doorway to make sure no one was coming as I changed. Unlike Ava, I found it almost impossible to change without light _and_ with a broken arm. I struggled to do up the straps and in the end, Ava had to help me. She grabbed a comb and began to brush my hair.

"Your hair is so soft. I'm jealous."

"I need it cutting." I sniffed.

"Lena..." Ava started. I waited for her reply as she paused. "Can I plait your hair today?"

"If you promise to undo it tonight." I said. She knew what I meant and I felt her hands quiver through my hair.

"I promise." she said quietly. I smiled, though I didn't feel happy. I closed my eyes as her hands weaved and twisted through my hair. She pulled it tight, then knotted threads of my hair between each other. It didn't take her long to finish.

We made our way to breakfast, sitting through over half an hour's worth of minutes where people were forcing down food, only to throw up again. Then, Ava and the rest were lined up on the horses. I followed the procession to the gateway, smiling as best I could at Guthrie, Kurt, Ava and even Luann. The chattering of people didn't ease my nerves in the least. 'How many will come back this time?' and 'Another waste of our taxes'.

Finally, the scouting legion came to a halt at the gate in the wall. Lines and lines of horses and carts stopped, with people gathering around to watch. I waved to Guthrie, to Kurt, then to Ava. Guthrie's eyes softened and he mouthed the words 'goodbye'. Kurt attempted a smile and waved back. Ava almost burst into tears, forcing herself to look forward. That's when I suddenly became nervous. Where was he? I needed to see him before they left.

I pushed my way through the crowd, speeding up from a walk to a sprint as I searched the rows for him. They were preparing to leave; the gate was rising, enticing them to the outside world. I was metres away from the front lines.

"Levi!" I called, looking around. Where was he?! I had to see him! What if this-... was the last time? I pushed my way through civilians, my arm cracking so much that it burned with pain. I found that tears had ran into my eyes, though I wasn't sure if that was because of the agony I was feeling in my shoulder or not. Quicker, faster. I ran, heart pounding with such force that I felt like it was going to break straight through my ribcage. "LEVI!" I called again.

I had to see him.

"The 57th expedition beyond the walls... ADVANCE!" Erwin screamed, loud enough for the whole of the area to hear. The sound didn't have long to echo before it was consumed by the stampede of hooves.

"No!" I shouted, my head snapping around to find him. "I need to see him!" I was in line with the front lines, sprinting against every nerve in my body that was screaming at me to stop. I was coming up to the gateway now and I still hadn't seen him. "Damn Levi!" I shouted, though I couldn't even hear myself over the constant drumming of hooves. "Why are you so damn SHORT?!"

"Hey you-"

"Where is she going?!"

"She's running out of the walls!"  
>"Is she crazy?!"<p>

"Hey, STOP!"

I ignored the shouts of people and found myself outside of the walls, running next to a stream of horses as they flooded out of the gates. I stopped, breathing heavily, until- I saw him. He came through the gateway and spotted me, gaping in shock. I beamed with relief and waved, shouting as loud as I could-

"Come back safely!" The sound was lost under the thunder of noise, but the meaning still carried across. As his horse passed me, his eyes stayed upon me and he turned in his seat to see me.

"Shitty brat." I thought I saw him say, before he disappeared, melting back into the blur of riders.

After pushing back into the walls, I collapsed onto the floor and cried.

"Please, come back."

All could now was wait... wait and see which of my friends survived.

…

**AN: The following section is a description of real events from the manga (about chapter 30). Don't think too much into it; I'm using the event but not sticking directly to the manga timeline of events... that'd be _so_ difficult, haha. Obviously spoilers are present.**

**NORMAL-**

"I'll trust you on this one, Erwin." the man said, swooping off to refill. Trust was a strong word; he didn't use it often. There were few people he could say he truly trusted.

He fell, cool air brushing his cheeks and dark hair, though it did nothing to cool his burning heart. It pounded in his chest- the pound of battle drums. The vibrations trembled through him and shocked every one of his nerves into life. Gas burst out and he swooped down again, diving in a parabolic curve into empty space. He didn't like this- not one bit. He was on edge.

Shadows flashed across his face as a blast of sunlight forced it's way through the treetops that struggled out of the darkness. He raised his head to the sky, trying to find it behind the fog of leaves that hung dense just above him. Something about the air choked him. Usually, the best air he had ever breathed lay just beyond the walls humanity had enclosed themselves within. Now, something was catching in the back of his throat and making him gag.

Death.

He'd smelt it before- tasted it, even. He had become inure to it's rancid stench, it's overwhelming ability to scrape down the back of the throat and swirl in the stomach to make the body heave. It had taken awhile, but he was used to it... For the most part.

But here, the stench was different and growing closer with every push forward. There was something else sickening the man too- why had Eren transformed? Why had his team not stopped him?

A body.

The man's eyes snapped towards the figure hung upside down, lifelessly. He recognised that figure. With a jolt, he changed directions and darted over. As he got closer, the sickness grew. Gunther. His neck had been slashed. Not by a titan. By a sword, he was sure. Gunther. The man was hung upside down by his own weapons, a look of shock still present on his face. Eyes darkening, the man continued on his way.

There was no time for grief.

The image of his comrade mercilessly strung from the trees had still not wiped itself from his retinas, but he carried on relentlessly, thinking of the rest of the human race who were still fighting-

Another one.

Oh God. Another one. Eld... or what was left of him. The grass beneath his corps was stained a rusty red, weighed down with clumps of tissue and skin torn from it's original place. Blood still dribbled from where his body had been severed in half. Bone could be seen protruding from within the crimson mess. His spine jutted out, splintered and shattered; its usual whiteness had been dyed red. An organ, probably the liver, had slid out onto the grass and laid there like a piece of meat in a butchers.

The man kept on going, swallowing back the sickness that threatened to erupt from inside him. It didn't take long before his retinas were scratched eternally with another image- Oluo. Another one dead. The man drove onwards again, eyes widened and burning with dehydration as he resisted closing his eyes. If he closed his eyes, he'd see it again. _Please, _he thought, _let me get there in time for-_

Petra. Crushed against the bark of a tree with such force that the tree itself had cracked and her blood mingled with tree sap. Her eyes looked up at him for the last time, though she wouldn't have known it. She was pale. So very pale. The ruby stain across her face was made so much more apparent, so much more memorable, by her complexion. Dead. Hair pushed back from her face to reveal lifeless eyes... Eyes he would take with him to the grave.

**The reunion without words.**

…

**LENA-**

Time dragged by, the mechanical tick of time resonating in my room with each second that passed. For the whole day, I had busied myself constantly. I'd even cleaned my room and amused myself with the image of Levi stood over me, telling me to 'do it again'. The castle was eerily empty. The walls boomed silence back at me as I sat there listening to the echo of my own breathing. For some reason, the temperature had dropped and refused to warm up even when I lit every torch in the room.

I needed air.

With this thought, I found myself wandering the streets before the gates, waiting for their return. I shared looks with others, who spotted my uniform and were reminded of the fear just beyond the walls. Most avoided eye contact, whilst some smiled sadly. The whole town knew of the expedition. People whispered behind me, some speculating that my arm had been broken on purpose, others sympathising with my position.

"Poor girl. I bet her friends are all out there fighting."

"She asked for this life."

"They're fighting for us!"

"They're fighting for a lost cause."  
>"We'll never defeat the titans."<p>

"They're too strong."

I'd had enough of their talk and stood straight to walk away, but just then a soldier started shouting from the top of the wall. The whole area livened up and eventually word spread that they were returning. The scouting legion were on the horizon.

It felt like someone had rammed my body with electric pulses. Everything sped up and I heard the blood racing in my ear. How many would return? Something roared in my head- I couldn't tell if it was the wind or my own blood racing though veins. The noise throbbed as I paced up and down, wondering where it was best to stand. Other people had already started gathering, their faces blurred as I focussed on only one thing.

"Come on gate." I pleaded. "Open."

After what felt like an eternity, infinite years passing and striking minutes off my life with every second, the gate opened and the roar in my ears chorused with the hum of horse hooves. As the legion approached and the gate reached the top, the sounds became clearer, the staccato of the front lines punctuating the growing throb of noise. I closed my eyes and looked away, clearing my mind of images. When I felt ready, I looked again to witness reality...

And the reality was sickening.

A silence ensued among the people gathered as we inspected the horror that had just entered the gates. Compared to the speed from this morning, the legion _crawled_ back through to safety. Their eyes were downcast and beaten, having lost the glow of testosterone and adrenaline. Tears, vomit and blood mingled into a poisonous concoction of death. Then, all of a sudden, the onslaught of accusations began.

"ERWIN!" Someone yelled. "FOR WHAT REASON DID THESE PEOPLE DIE?!"

"COMMANDER ERWIN! WHAT HAVE HUMANITY ACHIEVED?!"

"ERWIN!"

People screamed at him, battling for his attention but the man granted them none. The commander usually looked young and full of ambition. Right now, he looked like he had aged a thousand years worth of loss. Yet he still looked forward.

My eyes dashed around the group. Where were they?

Levi. He was there, on the opposite side of the parade to me. I almost cried out with relief, ignoring the complete look of devastation on his face. When I had gotten over the fact that he had survived, I noticed it...

Desolation.

Despair.

Detachment from everything. From everyone.

His entire world seemed to have collapsed down onto his shoulders and cracked his usual façade. I'd never seen such extreme emotion emulating from his every feature: his lifeless eyes, his down-turned mouth, his dishevelled posture, his contracted pupils... Was this how he looked after every expedition? Or had something gone horribly wrong?

I had no time to ask him. I had still not seen the others. I moved down the line, tripping over people in my haste to find them. The first person I saw was Guthrie. After scanning face after face for recognition, his eyes met mine. We held eye contact as I felt my lip quiver in alleviation, but he quickly looked away. I scanned for others. Luann was there, her shoulders shaking slightly as she held in her emotions. Next, I saw Kurt. Kurt didn't see me. He hobbled, limping along-side a cart filled with bodies, looking into the cart occasionally with a worried expression. I didn't see Ava...

But that didn't mean she was dead.

It didn't.

It couldn't.

…

"Levi!" I called, speeding up as I saw the man just down the corridor. He didn't turn around. "Levi!" I shouted again, without response. He disappeared around the corner to the staircase and I followed him, turning just in time to see him slam the door to his room. I approached the door and hovered my hand at the wood.

Should I knock? Did he want to see me right now?

In the end, I lowered my hand to my side and leant against the wall next to his room. Thoughts battled in my head: go in, or go away. Go in, or go away. I so desperately wanted to know what had happened. I wanted to know what was wrong. I knew I could find that out from someone else but something prevented me from leaving him. He had looked so... destroyed. Was he going to be okay on his own?

A smash answered my question.

"FUCK!" I heard him shout as I jumped. More crashes erupted from inside his room. It sounded like he was tearing the furniture apart. I stared at the door, wishing for x-ray vision to see what was going on. "FUCK IT, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" The sound of glass smashing tinkled from inside. Curiosity and worry got the better of me and I reached for the door handle-

"Don't," someone whispered below the racket of swearing and destruction. It was Hanji. "Leave him." she soothed and pulled me away. I let her lead me downstairs, before she started to explain. "Shall I tell you?" she mused, almost to herself.

"I'll find out anyway." I said, bracing myself for the news. Hanji sighed. She looked beaten too, dark bags curling under her eyes.

"Petra Ral, Gunther Schultz, Eld Jinn and Oluo Bozado..." Hanji began as I listened intently. "Have served their duty to humanity... and died valiant deaths in battle."

I didn't reply.

I couldn't.

The faces of the dead flashed through my head and something wet dripped from my chin. Then, the memories of Levi and his team...

"Oh God." I whispered. "Levi."

"There's something else you might want to know." Hanji interrupted before I was overcome with emotions. "Ava has been severely injured and is currently undergoing treatment in the-"

Her words faded out as I ran for the medic room. There was too much smashing around my head, ricocheting off my skull for me to comprehend. But there was one thing I was certain of- I needed to see Ava.

**AN: Please forgive me?**

**Please?**

…

**I was going to cut this chapter at so many points and make it a short one with a cliff hanger, but then in the back of my mind something yelled "4,000 words! Minimum! Do the readers a favour!"**

**So... my description didn't end up as good as it could have been but ahh well, it's better than the state of the rest of this story! It's been dialogue, dialogue, 'Levi frowned', dialogue... Also, sorry for the mid-story AN but I wanted to notify you of something before I continued. I won't do it again, if I can help it.**

**Love you all! * gives biscuit * and for my French readers- * avoir un biscuit ***

**I can't speak French (so I let the funky music do the talking) * laughs hysterically at her own joke ***

**My are getting longer...**


	9. OUR STRENGTH 1

…

**OUR STRENGTH**

"Lena, you're here!" Kurt gasped as I burst into the first aid room. There were rows and rows of people surrounded by doctors, moaning and groaning in beds. Some beds were eerily silent. I headed directly for the bed Kurt was stood beside but stopped mid-step.

The sheets were red with white blotches. It took me a moment to realise that the usually crisp, white sheets had been dyed with blood so much that it dripped from the ends. The whole top half of the bed was crimson, whilst the bottom was its usual white. There was a figure that disrupted the redness with a tinge of grey. Ava.

Her skin had been bleached of colour as she lay gasping for breath, her eyes fluttering open and closed. A nurse was pressing several dressings onto the gaping wound in her stomach where blood gushed out. It wasn't doing much good.

"Ava!" I cried, dropping down beside her bed. She turned her head, forcing blue lips to smile wearily. Tears pricked at my eyes before my brain even had the chance to react. "Ava! Oh god!" Tearing my eyes away from hers, I reinspected the wound, hoping that this time I'd see something different.

I didn't.

She had lost so much blood; it was a miracle she was conscious. Her pores oozed sweat and her breath came in laboured rasps. The long, beautiful and shimmering cascade of blonde locks which usually tumbled down her shoulders, splayed across the bed, matted with blood and knotted into tangles.

"Lena," she whispered. I barely heard her. "Do you believe... in God?" My lip quivered. No, I didn't. A God wouldn't put his creations through this hell.

"Yes, Ava." I nodded furiously, tears splashing onto the floor. "There's a heaven waiting for us all so we can escape this hell."

"You think?" Ava asked. She winced in pain and then let her face relax. _Please, Ava. Stay with me. _

"Yes." I blinked away the water in my eyes but it just swam back into my vision again. Kurt gritted his teeth in agony and looked away. "But you can't go yet." My voice cracked.

"Turn around, Lena." Ava smiled. I frowned but did as she asked, kneeling on the floor with my back to her. Gently, I felt her hands weave through my hair and undo the plait she had tied earlier. Once she had finished, her hands shook as they combed my wavy hair. A whimper escaped my lips and the tears started flowing again. When her hands stopped moving, I turned back to face her. Ava's eyes were closed and her hand hung over the side of the bed.

"Ava?" I whispered. Kurt fell to his knees next to the bed.

"Ava?!" He called, shaking her hand. The nurse quickly moved and checked Ava's breathing. She drew back and shook her head.

"Why are you shaking your head?" I muttered to her, standing on wobbly legs that threatened to collapse under me. "WHY ARE YOU JUST STOOD THERE?!" My shout caused the nurse to search the ground with her eyes. She began to turn and walk away, shoulders drooping. "Do CPR!... DO SOMETHING!"

"Lena!" Kurt cried, still holding her hand. "S-she's lost too much blood." We held eye contact for several seconds as my head caught up with what he said. I gaped at him. Then I collapsed onto the floor.

And howled.

…

Someone shook me awake. I had no idea what time it was, or what day. I didn't know who was shaking me either. All I knew was that there was a pain like a lead ball in my chest and a tingling sensation under my eyes that burned red-raw. I became conscious enough to notice my position on the cold floor and opened my eyes to darkness. In the torchlight, I could make out Kurt's figure as he stood over me.

"Lena, let me take you back to bed." he said quietly. I let him grab my arm and heave me from the concrete. It was then that I realised I had fallen asleep next to Ava's body. I was too tired and too broken to argue as he lead me away gently. I couldn't understand it; why was Kurt so strong?

"Kurt." I muttered into the darkness as he pulled me out of the patient's room.

"What's up?"

"You're so strong." To this, he scoffed yet said nothing. "Thank you."

"There's nothing to thank me for." Kurt replied, sadly.

"How did she..." I couldn't finish the sentence. Kurt understood.

"I watched." His voice was hushed, like he didn't want any one to hear it. "Her manoeuvre gear was caught... it just... dragged her like a puppet... and chewed on her... like a dog on a bone." Kurt's voice stammered as he physically shook; I felt it through his hand. "Like she was a toy to play with." Kurt didn't let me see his eyes, but I could tell he was holding in his emotions. "Another soldier saved her but..."  
>"It was too late." I finished for him and stopped walking. He stopped too, but still didn't turn to look at me. I held onto his wrist and span him around to face me, before enfolding my good arm around him into a hug. He was so much taller than me that my face was buried into his chest. I felt him pause, then wrap his arms around me. His chin rested on the top of my head. This hug wasn't for my benefit; I had cried out my emotions. It was for Kurt, who was bravely holding them back. He was trying so hard to appear strong in front of me.<p>

I could smell his scent on his top and feel the muscles behind the fabric. The pressure on my cheeks rose and fell with his breathing. I felt droplets of liquid land on my head and he squeezed me tighter, causing my lip to tremble again.

"She was such a kind girl," Kurt whispered into my hair. I gulped and nodded. "She didn't deserve that."

"No one deserves it." I sniffed back. "Does Guthrie know?"

"He didn't know she was injured. We lost him in the forest. But he found out she had... had d-... had passed away and came to see her while you were asleep."

We stayed like this for many moments after, holding each other in the darkness. Eventually, Kurt released me and we continued back to the rooms. We came to mine first, exchanging small smiles upon our departure. I opened the door to my room, suddenly engulfed with loneliness. I had a room to myself. The bed where she had slept... was now empty. She had been here this morning. Now she had gone.

This world was so cruel.

…

**LEVI-**

I was laid in the centre of my room, cold concrete on cold skin. Around me lay the remains of my room, scattered, smashed and torn. It looked like a tornado had swept through.

Perhaps it had.

My mind was blank. I refused to think of anything. Images would stray into my head and I'd block them out by breaking something. My ankle ached where I'd injured it. A snake had curled itself around my heart to constrict it, leaking venom into my blood that stopped my limbs from moving.

Moving took effort.

I didn't have the mentality to move, so I just felt my body freeze against the floor. Maybe if I moved now, my body would stick and only my soul would sit up. Or maybe that thing sitting on my chest would suddenly wake up and pound at me again.

Breathing took effort.

Shuddering, shaking breaths pushed against the weight on my chest... Then I'd deflate like a balloon. Sometimes, I didn't feel like breathing in. Breathing meant resisting; breathing meant energy. I just didn't have the energy to waste. I stared blankly at the ceiling. I'd stared at it many times before and searched for patterns and cracks in it's surface... now I saw spatters of shadows. Blood splatters. A spider hung from the ceiling, dangling from it's creation upside down with anguish in it's eyes.

_Heichou._

The dressing table, severed in two on the floor, had clothes leaking out from inside from the wood. Cruelly snapped in two by my boot in a moment of anger, the spine of wood that had splintered could still be seen. Dust littered the floor in a yellow stain.

The chair had been kicked furiously across the room and it's body was crumpled on the floor. Then, there was the frame of my bed which had been thrown so hard against the wall that it had splintered, forced awkwardly into the stone.

Living took effort.

So why did I still bother?

Something flashed past the window, darkening my room in shadow momentarily. I looked outside and caught the wings of a bird just before it flew out of sight.

Ahh, that was why. Jiyuu no tsubasa.

…

"Levi." Someone knocked on my door. I couldn't say that I'd been asleep, but I hadn't exactly been awake either. I don't know how long I had spent there on the floor, somewhere between reality and a dream. Hanji opened the door when I didn't reply and her eyes bulged. "Ahh, what a mess."

"Don't use that word in my room." I said, feeling the ice in my breath slash past my tongue.

"Sorry," Hanji shrugged. "Ahh, what a shit-tip." She repeated. I didn't have the energy to frown.

"Thanks." I said after a pause.

"For what?" Hanji frowned.

"For taking Lena away. I don't want her to see me like this."

"So you knew she was there?"

"No, not until I heard you."

"Well, she may understand you right now more than anyone."

"Why?" I asked, forcing myself to sit up. I ached all over, especially in my chest.

"You remember the blonde girl, Ava?... She died a few hours ago." Hanji walked over to the window and leaned her forehead against the glass. I closed my eyes.

"How's she taking it?"

"She cried. A lot. Last time I heard, she had fallen asleep in the hospital room."

"She cried?" I asked. "That's good." Hanji glanced at me, raising her face from the glass and leaving a light, foggy patch on the window. "It's when the tears don't come that you need to worry."

"... What about you then?"

"I haven't cried since I was in nappies." I stood, staggering with the effort and kicking objects out of my path.

"Is that why you have so many personality issues?"

"Probably."

"But you know..." Hanji started, facing away from me again to look out of the window. "There's only one thing we can do. No matter how we deal with grief, it's all for one purpose."

"To move forward." I finished.

"Exactly." She nodded as I began fixing my room back to how it had been. Her eyes tore themselves away from the remnants of sunset and fixed themselves upon me, orange light drenching her clothes and tinkling in her glasses. "Go see her, Levi."

"Who?" I feigned innocence, dragging my bed back into position.

"Lena."

"Why? You're not making sense, shitty-glasses."

"Because I'm scared that if I leave you now, you'll self-destruct." The tone in her voice was so serious that it struck a chord in me and I met her eyes. She looked beaten; the expedition had sapped all energy from her. Her eyes pleaded with me, though I couldn't tell what for.

"I'll be fine." I grunted, darting my eyes away. "I have been all this time, right?"

"Right." she sighed, not seeming convinced in the least. Despite this, she trod back over to the door and took one last look at me before closing the door.

I was alone. Again.

But compared to all other moments of loneliness I had experienced, this was the greatest.

…

**LENA-**

As expected of the scouting legion, the people who had returned from the expedition were only granted one day off. The dead were burnt in one massive inferno as people gathered, crying and screaming and howling. But it was the silent ones that seemed in the most pain. The flames had cascaded heat over me and brought an end to the coldness I had felt since Ava's death. When I had stopped staring at the flames with lifeless eyes, I noticed that Levi wasn't present.

He must be feeling four times what I felt now. Four times the excruciating pain of loss ricocheting around my chest. As I had started to fade back into reality, my worry for him crept up.

I hadn't seen him yet.

Days later, this was still the case. Activities had restarted. The obstacle courses, gyms and forest practice areas were brimming with people again, whilst I found myself wandering the silent corridors of the HQ. Since Erwin had returned, he had taken over our group whilst they contemplated who would be promoted. After the expedition, even more places had arisen.

My footsteps echoed on the slate-grey floors as the shouts from outside swept in through a window. Eventually, I reached a door and stepped into the outside world. The weather was dismal- it had been for the last few days. The clouds seemed to echo the sullen atmosphere in the scouting legion as people still suffered the mental scars, raw in their minds. Sodden grass squelched under my boots and I realised it had been raining. Had I been so out of it that I hadn't heard it? It seemed so. Raising my eyes to the heavens, I noticed it was still drizzling. A splash of water landed on my face.

It was becoming more and more difficult to find things to do recently. I had helped Hanji for the past two days, done the odd few jobs for ranks and in between that, wandered over to Levi's room, only to turn away again. How could I console someone who had lost everything in a matter of minutes? My mind cast itself back to the smashing sounds and the swearing on the day of Levi's return...

I was on my way back from one of those said 'wanders' right now. Yet again, turning up at his door only to walk away without knocking. In the end, I decided to climb back to the top of _that _hill. It had been a while since I had done it and my arm had somewhat healed. It had been a week; my arm no longer throbbed all day and my sleep was rarely disrupted by pain... physical pain anyway. The rocks were wet and crumbled from under my feet. I knew this was a terrible idea, but something drew me to the hill. It was my paradise in hell. An oasis to escape to.

I followed the path I knew well and found myself at the top, gazing out over the horizon. I shivered as it began to rain again, a strong wind turning the droplets on my skin into icicles. It was then that I noticed him.

"Levi." I said. He was sat on a rock with his back to me, overlooking the horizon with one arm hooked over the knee of one leg. When I spoke, he half turned so that his eyes met mine. Those eyes... a reflection of the one's I had seen in the mirror this morning. Sleep deprived eyes with dark circles, punctuated by small, lifeless irises which looked but didn't see. He faced away from me again.

Walking over the jutting, slimy rocks and feeling a curl of my hair drop into my face under the weight of rain, I sat beside Levi and looked for the same horizon he saw. We exchanged no words; that momentary eye contact had spoken everything that needed to be said. The rain fell heavier and soon we were both shivering, skin pale and clothing glued to our bodies.

"Lena," Levi said, barely audible over the gentle hiss of rain. "What do you fight for?"

"My life." I replied, simply. "I've seen death so many times that I've learned to fear it."

"And it's that simple?" he frowned. I saw him glance at me from the corner of my eyes. "That makes no sense. Why did you join the legion?"

"Two reasons. One- to live."

"To live?"

"To smile; to cry; to feel emotions. When I lived alone, all I felt was fear and loneliness. Here I've made friends... and enemies. I will get to see what most others will never- the outside world. The true world. I call that living."

"And the second?"

"To find my brother. I originally planned to join the military police, but... a sense of responsibility overcame me. And curiosity. I want to see outside the walls."

"I see." Levi sighed. "You're a complicated girl."

"Aren't all girls complicated?" I smiled. Levi's eyes lowered and he breathed out slowly. I remembered Petra, immediately feeling bad for sparking his memories.

I don't know how long we spent there together, feeling the rain slide down our skin. Our shirts turned clear in parts, letting the skin beneath show through. I tilted my head to the skies and let the droplets run down my face. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the security of Levi's presence- a security I'd lost since the expedition. We both came here arbitrarily, yet still managed to meet. I began to freeze, my arm experiencing a burning sensation and sharp strikes of pain. Levi must have been cold too. Neither of us wanted to leave though. There was a peace here unlike any other; our oasis. I shivered and drew my knees closer to my chest.

"You'll freeze like that." Levi eventually sighed.

"I already am."

"Then go back where it's warm."

"What are you, my mother?" I spat. "What about you?"

"I'm humanity's strongest soldier." he replied. "I'll live."

"Not up here you're not. Here, you're Levi." I looked at him and he tipped his head to look at me.

"Anyway, brat. You owe me something." A ghost of a smirk appeared on his lips. I paused, narrowing my eyes. "Slave pass." He explained. A horrified expression crept along my face.

"Today?!"

"Yeah." Levi stood, brushing back his hair so that some of it stuck and the rest dropped back down. "I'm going to enjoy this." He lowered a hand down to my level; I took it gingerly. With immense strength, he pulled me to my feet. "But first, brat. How the hell do you expect to get down this hill in your condition?" he scolded whilst I staggered for footing. It was very slippy and the rain was only making this worse.

"Midget transport?" I asked, then immediately knew I'd gone too far. This was confirmed when a foot swept under mine and I was sent careering onto my bum. The mud splashed and littered my shirt and trousers with brown droplets.

"Disgusting." Levi's lip curled. A grin tugged at my lips as I coated my hand with the thick mud and made my way threateningly towards him. This would be my revenge for the pain! "Don't you dare, brat!" Levi growled, his voice reverberating like thunder, coupled with the flash of anger in his eyes.

"Do what?" I said innocently, getting onto my knees whilst waving the hand near him. He backed away until I lunged for him and moved backwards so quick that his footing slipped and he ended up on his back in the mud in front of me. I dived on the opportunity and pinned him to the floor by sitting his chest. Before he even had the chance to complain or kick me off, I painted mud-whiskers of his face.

"LITTLE SHIT!" Levi was in utter shock. He touched his face gingerly and looked at the mud coating his fingers, horrified. It must be all over his back too... and maybe his chest since I was sat on him. "This will take years to get out!"

"It's my slave day, right?" I laughed. "I'll do it."

"Oh, so I'll let you handle my clothes then?" He scoffed. "You're so clumsy you'd probably ruin them."

"They're already ruined." I smiled. He scowled at me.

"I fucking know." Levi snorted, giving me his best 'I-am-extremely-pissed-off' expression. I just grinned down at him as we stared each other out. In a flash, he had brought up his mud-covered fingers and slashed my face. He smirked at the dirt across my nose as I gaped.

"Alright, alright." I huffed. "Let's stop."

"When it suits you, right?"  
>"Oi." I laughed, standing up. Levi moved to stand too, but somehow he managed to place his hand on my foot as he pushed himself up. I quickly tried to remove my foot and ended up sliding and searching for balance. Levi reached out to steady me, but I fell forwards on top of him and forced him back into the mud with an 'oof!'. With my head face down beside his neck, I blushed furiously and pushed myself off his chest.<p>

"S-sorry." I stammered, hearing the mud squelch under my knees. My head raised so that I was looking into his dark, calm eyes- about an inch away from my face. My face burned and I hurried to get up. Levi stopped me with a hand on my neck. I froze under his touch. He held my gaze as my heart began to constrict quicker and quicker. Slowly, he leaned forward and placed his lips onto mine.

If my mouth hadn't have been preoccupied, I'd have gasped. And snorted. And maybe yelped.

I saw that he had closed his eyes as he tilted his head. There was no way I was closing my eyes when I was panicking this much. After a few seconds, his lips locked onto mine and his tongue gently pushed for entrance to my mouth. I let him, sinking into the warmth of his mouth and letting his tongue dance across mine. I was too shocked to argue with anything he was doing, fully succumbing to the power of his lips as they moved rhythmically. Soon, I closed my eyes too... but all too soon, he stopped and drew back. His eyelashes fluttered as they opened and he gazed at me with an expression I couldn't define.

"Sorry." He muttered. Levi stood up quickly whilst I got to my feet clumsily. I watched as he walked away, feeling multiple emotions wash over me.  
>"Sorry?" I asked, watching his back as he made his way down the hill alone.<p>

"Forget that ever happened." He said.

**AN: Ouch.**

**Sorry about the wait and the short chapter. Exams are coming up so I'm struggling to get in time to write. I will finish this though! And I will make sure I keep updating regularly!**

**I was so evil in this chapter. You're all going to hate me by the end of this story. Look forward to the next update! Sorry for the wait ^_^**


	10. OUR STRENGTH 2

…

**OUR STRENGTH 2**

"W-what?" I stammered, still feeling the tingling of his lips on mine as he hunched his shoulders and ignored me. My whole body felt cold, yet his warm lips had left a trace of heat across mine. "You can't do that!" I stepped to follow him, but he still ignored me. "What was that all about?! Oi! LEVI!"

The bastard kept walking.

**LEVI-**

She had every right to be furious. I heard her begin to follow me, then stop as she cursed under her breath. I could understand her anger. I had been overwhelmed by her, and in a moment of madness- kissed her. Even worse, it wasn't just a peck on the cheek. I had _enjoyed _her. I had lavished in her. I had relished in her taste, her blush, her timid lack of skill... The way her teeth clumsily clanked against mine while she settled into me. The way her hair under my fingers was soft yet damp. The scent of dirt across her nose which was centimetres from mine.

But then I was jolted back to reality.

I had taken advantage of her. In my grief of Petra, I had longed for something to fill the emptiness inside me. She knew I was depressed; I knew she was kind. The moment my lips touched hers, she let me take away a bit of pleasure to ease the pain in my chest. She was a drug to me- if I wasn't careful, I'd become addicted. If that happened, she'd be too innocent and kind to say no. Too nervous. Too shocked. Too kind.

That's why I couldn't do it.

Moreover, despite what Gunther had preached, love should be banned in a world where anyone could die at any minute. Couples often made rash decisions, which ended up with one of them dead... and one of them better off dead. How could I, a man who kills, love? How could I, who doesn't feel, love? If I loved her...

Why am I talking about love?

I don't love her. Like I said, she was the medicine to grief- something I shouldn't have taken. Hopefully now, she'd see me for my true self. A selfish bastard. As I neared the bottom of the hill, I briefly glanced over one shoulder to see if she had followed me. She hadn't. There was no sign of her.

The grounds were empty; a combination of rain and lunch had driven people indoors. This meant I was able to return inside without gaining any attention, feeling the drying mud crack of my shirt and face whilst rain water continued to splatter after me, leaving a trail of droplets and footprints in my wake.

"Levi?!" A voice called from behind me. I groaned inside. Hanji dashed to my side, then in front so I couldn't walk off. I kept my eyes on the floor for fear that if I looked into her eyes, she'd read my thoughts. "What the hell happened?! Dirt and Levi don't go together."

"Shut up, shitty-glasses. It's raining, or haven't you noticed from obsessing over your titan lovers?"

"Oh and so you just took a stroll and got soaked... not to mention coated in mud." she rolled her eyes behind her lenses. "Did you have a fight?.. no. Who'd fight with you? Did you... slip?"

"Yeah, I slipped."

"Somehow I don't believe that's the whole story."  
>"Then suit yourself." I grunted, attempting to dodge past her. She moved in front of me again and I scowled, on the brink of exploding.<p>

"Where's Lena?" Hanji asked suddenly. I started, blinking in surprise. "Ahh, so you've seen her."

"I bumped into her. What's up?"

"What happened?"

"Nothing, shitty-glasses."

"Did you two...?"

"Get out of my fucking face." I spat. "Get your head out of the gutter before I drag it out." With that, I pushed her aside. She didn't stop me as I walked off.

"I'll just ask Lena then." She called after me. I just sniffed and continued walking.

"Do as you like."

…

After I had dried off, gotten changed, briefly washed my clothes and hung them to dry, I headed to the canteen to get lunch. For the rest of the day, I ignored Lena. When I saw her, I averted my eyes and walked in the opposite direction. This was easier than expected, since I could tell in the rare moments that I met her eyes that she was still angry. She didn't want to see me either. I saw Hanji take her to one side once, but Lena snapped sharply and walked away. It seemed she didn't want to talk about it.

For days, this went on. In the midst of training and work, there was always an underlying atmosphere hanging around- an awkward atmosphere. I'd catch her staring at me, but when I looked, she'd look away. She'd catch me glancing her way, before I'd pretend I'd never been staring. Hanji was certain something had happened, but she gave in her interrogations... Very reluctantly.

"Levi," the appearance of Erwin brought me out of my subconscious. "Sorry for making you wait."

"I was beginning to think you'd forgotten." I spat. Erwin sat opposite me behind his desk.

"About promotions." he began, addressing his sheets. "We have two squad leader positions open."

"Who've we got to fill em'?" I asked, Erwin shuffled through the notes, pulling out several of the soldier forms and setting them aside. I caught Erd's picture briefly before it was covered up. Eventually, Erwin splayed five sheets out before me. I eyed each person, stopping shortly upon one of the males- it was the man who had called Lena 'cricket'.

"Who are you thinking?"

"These two are definitely capable. I heard this one's comrades really trust him. He brings a great sense of teamwork and trust to his team." Erwin explained, gesturing to the same man. I frowned.

"We want a leader, not a team player."

"I understand that. But a leader can develop in anyone; getting people to trust you is a natural skill you can't easily learn."

"What about the others?"

"This man here has a lack of experience, but perfect leadership capabilities. He is also very keen to move up the ranks."

"No. Experience is vital. A man who wants power is not. He may make decisions that endanger his team for the sake of promotion."

"Not unlike me, then." Erwin stared at me calmly. I didn't falter under his gaze; he didn't expect me to. "Okay, the third one. She is very experienced and a skilled soldier. She is strongly moved though... which could be her downfall."

"Someone who moves on emotions may be rash. She won't be able to handle deaths of her comrades."

"Indeed." Erwin nodded. "This man was my second choice. He is very calm and isn't easily phased. However, he seems to be very solitary."

"Not unlike me then." I said, sarcastically. Erwin smirked slightly.

"Maybe. Then, the final one is this man. He gets very worked up and emotional, but has been proven to make good decisions."

"Caving under pressure is a definite no. Go for the two you thought of first."

"I thought you would say that. I'll run them past Hanji and make the presentation tomorrow."

"That was quicker than expected." I mused.

"Our options were somewhat narrowed down after the last expedition." The commander said grimly, standing with his shoulders drawn back to watch me leave. I turned my back to him and made for the door. "Oh, Levi," I paused, hand on the door handle. "Have things been... okay recently?"

"What the hell are you on about?"

"You've not been yourself. You can't go on like this, Levi. You have a job to do."

"I know that." I scoffed, opening the door. "I don't need fucking counselling."

…

Days dragged by. I didn't know how long I could possibly keep ignoring her for; it had been a week already. Stein (cricket guy) had been promoted along with the other guy, Alfons. They had taken their roles as squad leaders- Stein in charge of Lena's group (how lucky), and Alfons in charge of another. This meant I had even more free time. Erwin had asked me to reform 'Levi squad' in order to protect and guard Eren. I had a vague idea of who I would pick... but I hadn't thought about it in detail.

"URH!" Air forced itself out of my lungs as I swept past my millionth victim. Or so it felt. Training, training, training. That's all I had been doing. There wasn't another expedition planned for a while and I had no team to lead. I'd come to the forest with my 3DMG to train, slicing through the foam necks of titans one by one. I wasn't even sweating; I'd built up such strength and cardiovascular endurance that the hours worth of slicing I had done had no effect on me. Or maybe that was because it was cold...

"HAH!" Another victim. It didn't give me any satisfaction. My enemy wasn't falling. It wasn't real. Its death didn't help humanity win... what was the point? Yet I still drove on, boredom or perhaps something else forcing me to continue. My body was on autopilot, leaving my mind to wander back to Lena.

"Fuck!" I spat as I missed the target, careering through the air. My piston spat out another grip and yanked me back to the titan. I cut it cleanly this time. "I need to do something about this." I muttered to myself, landing on a tree branch and gritting my teeth. "Why can't I just forget?!"

I decided it was time to end my training and began to move through the air back to HQ. The greenery to both sides of me became a blur as I gained speed, eventually crashing through the trees and onto the grass verge before HQ. Carefully, I removed my 3DMG and checked my tank. It was almost empty, yet I hadn't even realised. This irritated me to no end; my abilities had faltered recently. I wasn't worthy of my title any more.

"Heichou!" Eren called, spotting me just before he walked into the castle. I walked in his direction and he met me halfway, turning to walk beside me indoors. "You've been disappearing a lot recently."

"Fuck off." I spat, taking my irritation out on him. "I don't need you on my back too."

"S-sorry." He muttered. "But if I can help-"

"You can't." I snapped. "So leave it."

"If you just say what's wrong..."

"What if I don't know what's wrong?" I thundered, hearing my voice raise but doing nothing to lower it. Something had been bugging me for a while. I hadn't slept properly, kept awake by memories and frustrations... then frustrations about not knowing why I'm frustrated.

"Then just speak your mind." Eren said. "It might be that you're not voicing what you think so you can't get rid of it."

"Really? Then I'll tell you." Eren looked at me happily, like a puppy who'd been praised. "I'm a selfish bastard who wants something he can't have, and that's frustrating because I can't forget about it."

"It?"

"I'm not going into details." I snorted, feeling that indeed, my thoughts had been objectified by just voicing them. The brat had been right... but I wasn't going to tell him that.

"Why can't you have it? Does someone else have it?"

"No."

"Is it expensive?"

"... It's valuable."

"Are you worried what others would think of you having it?"

"Fuck no."

"Is it pretty?"

"... I'd say so..." I said, trying to avoid saying what I actually thought- of course it is. It's stunning.

"Does that thing not want to be yours?"

"I don't deserve to have it."

"Is it... a human?" Eren pried further. This push was enough to jolt my pride.

"Shut up about it, brat. You're not my agony aunt."

"It's valuable, pretty and you don't deserve it..." Eren pondered, ignoring my threatening tone. "Is it... no... it can't be... Levi-" Eren hit enlightenment and stopped walking to gape at me. "Levi heichou is in love?!" For a second, I was too stunned to react. My mouth hung open slightly, eyes staring into Eren's glittering green ones. He looked like I'd just told him my biggest secret ever, wide eyes shocked but excited.

"F-fuck, fuck no!" I stammered when I eventually found my voice. "Where the hell did you get that from?!"

"But Levi-"

"Shut it, brat!" I stormed off. If he followed me, it wasn't his fault if he landed on his face.

"Levi, wait!" He did. BAM! Flat on his face.

"There's a corporal on that, rat faced worm!"

Seriously. Cadets were getting braver by the intake.

…

At dinner, Hanji dragged me to her table and sat down beside me, munching loudly.

"Oi, shit-face, shut your mouth when you eat."

"But I've got so much to talk about!" Hanji spoke through a mouthful of food.

"That's disgusting." My face wrinkled in disgust.

"Speaking of disgusting," Hanji swallowed. "What's happening with Lena?"

"Those two aren't even related."

"I know, I just needed to ask."  
>"You don't <em>need <em>to. You're just fucking nosey."

"Do you know what people used to call me in my intake, Levi?" Hanji shovelled more food into her mouth.

"I don't like to swear." Hanji almost choked.

"Haha, nice joke. You should go on stage." She swallowed some water to rinse her mouth, then began again. "They used to call me cupid."

"Don't you mean, stupid?"

"That too." Hanji nodded. "But I can make any two people fall in love and live happily ever after."  
>"It hasn't worked with you. Look at your titan lover, Bean. He was killed."<p>

"Oh hilarious. What I'm trying to say is, if you talk to me, I can solve your love issue."

"That's great but I don't have one."  
>"Don't lie, Levi. Eren told me." This time, it was my turn to choke. I glared at Eren who was across the room and considered using the fork in my hand for a more deadly purpose... Oh look, there's a knife too.<p>

"What speculations has he been ranting to everyone?"

"Not everyone, just me. I found him on the floor and got the information out of him."

"Did he also tell you that I never said that?" I lifted a cup to my lips.

"Can we get past all this bullshit and move on to the truth?"

"This is the truth." I said, before sipping gently.  
>"From what I've gathered, it's what you'd like to truth to be. You'd like to not be in love, but you are." Just then, something caught Hanji's eyes. She grinned manically. I had expected more questioning, but Hanji stood and left the table... and her food. Seconds later, she returned dragging someone else with her. Lena.<p>

Fucking cow.

"Lena, Lena!" Hanji said, pretending I wasn't there. "Sit here, I have experiments to discuss with you!"

"I'm not good with science..." Lena held onto her tray, clearly wanting to get away as fast as she could.

"All the better! I can get an objective viewpoint!"

"Can we do it over there-"  
>"Nope!" Hanji smiled. Lena reluctantly set down her tray and began to tear at her sandwich. Hanji began talking, and for five minutes, she spoke non-stop. Then, all of a sudden, she stood up and said- "Sorry, I've got to go!", running off to leave us alone.<p>

Fucking. Cow.

I sipped my tea calmly, nevertheless. Lena's eyes darted around, before she lowered them and continued eating.

"S-soo..." She muttered, almost as low as a whisper. "Have you sorted out your feelings yet?" she asked. Liquid dropped unexpectedly down my throat and I spluttered.

"Feelings?"

"You were grieving, right? That's why... right?"

"I..."

"Or was it my fault? Did I seem like I was... coming on to you?" She was blushing... and even I felt embarrassment burn my cheeks.

"No, I..."

"Why did you ignore me? What do you mean by, forget about it?"

"I meant to forget it."

"You say that, but then you ignored me. You made it out to be some big deal." Lena huffed. Gently, the box of frustrations she had been keeping to herself was opening. I was surprised she had managed not to vent for so long.

"Sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"When you said 'forget it', or when you kissed me?"

"Both."

"So it was just arbitrary?"

"I was... you were..." Words wouldn't even form. What should I tell her? Things couldn't go on like this... but I couldn't exactly tell her the truth.

"Go on. I feel like I should know."

"You were just there." I began. "I was depressed. And you were there. That's all."

"That's all?" Her eyes seemed hurt... of course they would. I had just told her that I'd fucked up her emotions and stolen a kiss from her... because she was the first person I saw. That wasn't true at all, but I had said it anyway.

"That's all."

"And you ignored me because...?"

"I didn't want to lead you on." I said. Lena looked at me for several seconds. In that time, I couldn't read her mind. Usually, her eyes were pretty much open doors. But in those moments, I just couldn't understand the emotion she was showing... she soon made it clear to me.

"Bastard." She spat, standing quickly and storming away. She was the type to stay calm and ignore her anger, letting it build and build whilst she stayed calm on the outside... until she snapped- like with Oluo. And, I guess, she had just snapped. I saw Guthrie catch my eyes as he took her arm and led her away. His brown eyes narrowed, but not enough to threaten me.

I didn't watch them leave the room.

…

"_Heichou." she called. A voice as gentle as the tinkering of bells. I was in the woods, 3DMG weighing down my torso and legs, rain thundering on the treetops and splattering onto the ground. "Are you going to join us?"_

"_You know I can't."_

"_I miss you."_

"_I miss you too."_

"_How have you been? Are you happy?" she asked, touching my cheek and leaving gold sparks tinkering along my skin._

"_No, I'm not." I admitted, holding her gaze honestly._

"_What's wrong?"_

"_You all left me. How can I be happy?"_

"_There's more to it than that." She said, frowning at me._

"_There is." I couldn't lie to her. I'd lied too much to her when she was alive._

"_Is it Lena?"_

"_How does everyone know?" I rolled my eyes. She chuckled._

"_An eye can't lie,_

_The dead can't sing,_

_A bird can't fly without a wing._

_Reasons are simple._

_Reasons are pure._

_Truth is within the eyes- not in the jaw." She finished. _

"_Nice poem." I said, satire lining my words like cement._

"_It's the truth." the woman smiled before me and looked at the dark skies. I was soaking wet and cold, yet somehow she was perfectly dry._

"_I can't be with her." I sighed. The girl looked at me._

"_Why not?"_

"_You know better than I do what this world is like." I huffed, gesturing to our situation. "We're in a fucking dream. You're not really here."_

"_Aren't I?" she laughed again, teasing me. "If you deny love, you deny my feelings when I was alive." I halted the words in my throat and swallowed them. "So, do you deny love?"_

"_I can't love."_

"_Then how come you love her?"  
>"I don't."<br>"Then why are we having this conversation in your subconscious?" _

"_This is fucked up."_

"_You're a mess, Levi. Let go of your pride and stop lying to her."_

"_It's not pride holding me back!"_

"_Then what? Are you scared of losing her? Are you afraid of rejection? Or is it that you can't open up to anyone after all this time. All this time, you've pretended not to care and thrown all emotion to the wind. Now, she's tearing you apart."_

"_Shut it. I finally get to see you... can't we discuss something else?"_

"_Maybe next time. Until then, I can't rest happily."_

"_Next time my fuckin ass. I'm not going to sleep for weeks after this."_

"_You chose her over me, so you better live happily ever after, Levi."_

"_This is far from a fairy tale, Petra."_

"_I know." She smiled and I could sense myself waking up. "But fairy tales are based off reality. You can always trace a fairy tale back to it's original beauty."_

I came back to reality and felt the cold of the morning envelop my skin.

"Original beauty, huh?" I muttered to myself.

**LENA-**

"Morning, pig-face." Someone called as I opened my eyes lazily. "Are you enjoying your new bed? It smells like shit in here because of you."  
>"Luann, I didn't exactly choose to come here. They moved two people into my room and shifted me into the empty bed in your room."<p>

"It wasn't empty. It was the bed I used to put things on."

"Well you can put them in the wardrobe now, like a fucking normal person."

"Or you can go die and let me have my space back."  
>"No can do," I said, sitting up and setting my eyes on the ugly bitch glaring down at me. "Why don't you die and pray Satan will give you your own room in hell?"<p>

"Actually, I won't be going to hell. God likes people like me. The upper class... not the pig-shit scoopers you were brought up with."

"Wake up and smell the bullshit coming from your mouth. You ain't the upper class _darling._"

And so on. Ever since I had moved into this room a few days ago, this had been our morning routine. Wake up- argue. Go to bed- argue. The two other girls in our room were almost fed up of it. In the beginning, they had joined in on Luann's side. Now, they were completely bored of the same insults. As was I.

I stormed out of the room and collected my breakfast, slouching into the empty seat at my usual table with Guthrie and Kurt.

"Urrggggghhhhh..." I moaned, placing my face on the table.

"Luann?" Guthrie asked, patting my hair gently.

"Someone let me tape her mouth shut." I begged, forcing myself to sit upright and chew whatever delight lay in my dish.

"Poor you." Kurt chuckled.

"You don't seem very sympathetic."  
>"I'm not. I think it's hilarious."<br>"Oh gee, thanks."

"Well," Kurt huffed and I sensed a storm brewing. "I'm not having sympathy for the girl who keeps secrets."

"What secrets?" I was so tired of this.

"Something happened with that stuck up bastard that you won't tell us."  
>"Exactly." I sighed.<p>

"Whhhhhyyyy?" Kurt whined. "This is torture! Just tell me! Did he reject you?"

"No."

"Did you reject him?"

"No."  
>"Was there any love confession at all?"<p>

"No."  
>"How boring." Kurt pouted and swallowed some coffee. As soon as he rested the cup down again, he launched back into it. "Did you do something embarrassing?"<p>

"No."

"Are you going to answer any of my questions with yes?"  
>"No."<p>

"Cow."  
>"Kurt, stop it," Guthrie laughed softly, flicking him on the nose. I watched and frowned; Levi used to do that to me. "But I agree with him, Lena. We're supposed to be your friends." I almost choked.<p>

"You as well?!"

"Ava would say the same too." He nodded. My gaze flickered to the empty seat at our table... and I sighed again.

"Fine. But this goes no further than our table."

"Hey hey!" Kurt looked appalled. "How come he asks just once and you spill all?!"

"I met him on the hill." I began, ignoring Kurt's protests. "We were both, you know... pretty upset." They nodded. "It was raining and we got talking. Eventually, we kind of got into a fight with mud- because he hates mud- and I slipped and... ended up on top of him... Then, I tried to stand up and... he kissed me."

"WHHAATT?" Kurt screamed, pounding the table in glee. "Go on, go on!" Guthrie was frowning at me.

"Then he looked at me strangely, stood up and left saying 'forget about that'."

"WHHHAAATTT?!" Kurt gasped again, earning him a hit in the guts from me to keep him quiet.

"Since then he has ignored me."  
>"Oh my goodness gracious pants on fire." Running a hand through his hair, Kurt shook his head.<p>

"Bastard." Guthrie narrowed his eyes. "He said that? Did he just take advantage of you?"  
>"That's what he said the other day."<br>"He admitted it?!" He was seething, dark brown eyes flaming with anger.

"He is soooo in denial." Kurt smiled, pointing at me. "Humanity's strongest soldier, right? He can't exactly live up to that role while protecting a girl."

"That's true..." I mumbled, seeing sense in his argument.  
>"No, he is humanity's strongest- a harsh bastard who can kill mercilessly. You think he can't take advantage of a girl? That's all it was." Guthrie took the opposite view point and drove my hope back into the ground.<p>

"No, no, listen." Kurt shook his head. "Am I, or am I not, an expert in love?"

"Not." We chorused, my light female voice to Guthrie's deep, angered one.

"I am." Kurt continued regardless. "And I saw this coming. You need to break through his shield and get him to love you."

"What if she doesn't love him?" Guthrie shot back.

"She does though."

"She doesn't."

"How do you know?"  
>"He's a bastard."<p>

"An attractive bastard." Kurt added.

"I'm beginning to think you're the one after Levi."

"I am. I'm after Levi to love Lena!"

"That made no sense at all."  
>"Only in the eyes of a man with no sense of romance." He tutted, waving a hand in front of his face dismissively. I laughed at Kurt, even though it was hardly the time.<p>

"Lena, we need to come up with a plan."  
>"No, we don't." Guthrie answered sternly.<p>

"I say, we use your relationship with mister Steiny whiney."

"What relationship?" I laughed again.

"Soldiers with benefits. Mister squad leader shall fall for my Lena's feminine charm! Miss Hertz! You shall be henceforth named the goddess of men! Have them falling to their knees! Make Levi jealous then get his ass under your command."

"Kurt," Guthrie struggled to stay serious. "She deserves better."

"Are you offering?" Kurt winked in reply. Guthrie's cheeks tinted red and he denied it profusely. "See, my darling, men are already falling for your charm. Take the horse of life by the reins and- oh sorry. I forgot you don't like horses. Take the wild boar of life by the snout and ride it to the top!"

By the end of Kurt's mad speeches, I was in stitches.

...

**AN: Omo, you're all so amazing. Literally, you reviewers make me so happy. You read my story, I read your reviews. I will read them on sad days and smile. **

**Ahh, I feel like this chapter turned my story into the setting of a Korean drama ahah. Ah well, I did categorise it as drama. I'm trying to get to my ending quickly as I don't want it to drag... but guess what.**

**I really want to write a sequel to this called 'The Chemicals Keeping Us Together', which will be a reincarnation in the modern world. Would you guys read it? Or should I just write another story entirely? Another OC, or Ereri or Rihan or something?**

**I have the ending of CKUT in my head... ooooh, I'm excited. But no- finish this first!**

**Have any of you amazing people spotted the link between those titles? It's quite fitting, is it not? Heheh...**

**And everyone has been speaking in French to me, ahah. Donne un biscuit! But I have a Spanish exam soon so... ?Hables espanol? … Yup. I'm going to fail ^_^**

**Shout out to Titanic-fanatic. I had my kindle next to me while I was writing this chapter. You kept reviewing each chapter as you read and it'd beep at me. About once every hour or so, it'd beep because you had reviewed and inspired me to continue! Literally, seven reviews... I was so happy.**

**Also, shout out to those who review every chapter! I love you! I didn't realise you loved my OC, Ava, so much... Sorry ;)**

**In the beginning, I planned Lena to be a lot cuter than she had turned out hehe. I suppose she's more like a normal person now.**

**Until the next chapter xxx**


	11. SNEERING PIGS 1

…

**SNEERING PIGS **

"Lena!" someone called from behind me. I stopped on my way outside with Kurt and Guthrie, turning back. A red-headed woman bounded towards me. "How's your arm?"

"It's good thanks." I smiled, nodding at Kurt and Guthrie to go on.

"It's been just over two weeks. I think I should do a check up."

"Would you mind?"

"No, of course not!" Hanji showed her teeth and led me away. Upon reaching her room, she waved to a seat and began to untie my sling. "Does it hurt any more?"

"Only if I move it a lot. Look, I can do this!" Moving my arm centimetres up and down, I beamed. This was progress for me.  
>"The swelling has reduced a lot," Hanji nodded, inspecting the now only slightly green patch on my arm. "It's healing really well. At this rate, you may be healed in six weeks."<p>

"Six weeks from now?"

"No, six weeks in total. So you're almost half-way, Lena."

"Ahhh," I sighed happily, closing my eyes. "That'd be nice."

"Maybe you'll have time to show your skills and get into Levi's squad."

"Levi's squad?"

"He's forming a new squad under Erwin's orders. To protect Eren again."

"Really?" I mused, raising an eyebrow. "I wonder who he'll choose."  
>"You have a good chance. Didn't you come third in your intake?" Hanji said, gently feeling along my arm.<p>

"Me?!" I scoffed. "No way. I've not even been on an expedition yet." I couldn't see Hanji's face, but when she didn't respond I felt like I needed to continue. "Plus, we're not exactly on good terms right now."

"Ho?" She said, surprised. There was a tinge of gossip-lust in her tone. "What happened?"  
>"A lot." I said vaguely. "He did something stupid and then did something even stupider to cover it up, when it only made it worse."<p>

"Stupid?" Hanji laughed. "Levi?! Well, well. I didn't know those two words went together."

"He's a man. Of course those words go together."

"Although, Lena," she said, retying the bandage on my arm. "They say that people are stupider when they're in love." If she had expected me to become flustered and innocent, it didn't happen.

"Don't even go down that road." I sighed. "He admitted that he doesn't like me that way."

"So you like him?"

"No, that wasn't what I meant." Okay, now I was blushing.

"What did you mean then?"

"Well, s-something happened and he just made sure I didn't take it the wrong way."

"What happened?" Hanji pressed and I could feel the bandage tightening. I avoided her scarily shaded eyes and focused on a space to my left. "Come on, Lena." She whispered. "Tell me."

"N-no."  
>"Why not?"<br>"I can't."

"Did he... kiss you?" Bullseye; right through the heart; shattered through the truth and out the other side. With my shocked expression combined with my silence, I guessed that confirmed it for her. "Ooh Levi! What a sneaky devil!"

"Hanji, please don't say anything-"

"I won't." She promised. "But how did it happen?" I could tell from this short experience that Hanji was like a Jack Russell; once she got hold of something she liked the taste of, she wasn't about to let it go. I sighed in resignation.

"It was an accident. It was muddy and I slipped. When I tried to get off from him, he kissed me. But after a while he stopped and told me to 'forget about it'."

"Ouch."

"Then later he told me that he only did it because he was depressed. He wasn't in his right mind."  
>"And does that sound like Levi?" Hanji raised a sceptical eyebrow.<p>

"... Not really."

"And can you imagine Levi easily admitting his love and getting a girlfriend and getting married and... you get the idea."

"... Well, no. He's a socially awkward bastard. I bet he doesn't even believe love exists."  
>"Exactly!" Hanji announced, like we had reached an answer to the meaning of life. "Lena, don't get disheartened. You've got to break through more than one barrier to get to Levi."<p>

"I suppose... wait, why is everyone giving me love advice? It's not like I-"  
>"Don't say it!" Hanji shook her head, vehemently. "Please don't do that. I can't deal with two idiots." Hanji had long since finished tying my sling, so I stood to leave. At this point, Hanji stepped in front of me and rested her hands gently on my shoulders. "Only you can do it." She said. Wow, I felt like the world had been put on my shoulders. "Good luck, Lena." With that, she pushed me from her room and shut the door.<p>

I didn't even know what had just happened. Had I admitted it? Did I actually... No, it was far to early to say something like that. I had only known him two or so weeks. Yet, all this Levi advice- first Kurt, then Hanji- had spurred me onwards. I wasn't going to accept what Levi said as the truth. Because, maybe, he didn't know the truth himself.

…

**LEVI-**

My head was pounding like tiny demons were hammering at my skull and drilling through to my brain. This headache had been building and building; at first, I had ignored it; now it was stopping me from functioning properly. My throat stung and every breath scratched at it, only making it worse.

But I didn't have time for a cold.

"Are you off to train again, heichou?" someone called as I ambled down the corridor in my shorts and t-shirt. I grunted and carried on walking; conversations gave me a headache at the best of times. I strode from HQ and picked up speed slightly to a jog, heading out away from people. There was a route beside the trees that took you between two hills and over to the walls. It followed a river. This was my normal route, lasting around an hour at normal speed; I wasn't in the mood for normal speed.

Oxygen transformed into a drug and I breathed it in quickly, savouring the feeling of it inflating my lungs. Chest rising and falling with increasing frequency, I began to run as soon as my muscles had warmed up. A flock of sheep blocked my path as I exited legion territory into the surrounding farmlands. They ran out of the way, scuttling down the hillside as the path I was running on began to climb. My headache hadn't gone- it still throbbed like a bitch. I scowled through it, squinting into the musky light as clouds passed over the sun again. I didn't particularly hate rain, but I longed for this period of darkness to end.

I was panting now, breath coming in rapid rasps snapping my ribs in and out. I met the stream and followed it to the river below, picking up pace as I began to descend. It was peaceful; no one was around. Only I knew this path; only I used it. Having something this beautiful as my own felt precious... but I was greedy. Something like this, which would soon be discovered and infiltrated by humans, was not enough. I wanted the outside world first. I wanted to be the first.

The wall appeared on the horizon and I twisted away from the stream to head towards it. Moist grass fed droplets of water between my toes as it crept into my shoe. Sweat had began to pop out on my skin and my headache had still not subsided. In fact, it was worse. I had ignored it for as long as I could, but now the pounding was driving me mad. The pain forced my eyes shut and I wondered if in fact, it was a migraine. Soon my breath was horse though- it must be a cold.

I coughed up something nasty and spat it out onto the grass, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand before wincing. _Fucking dirty. _The land opened out and cleared of everything: no trees, no buildings. Just one huge, unforgiving wall that barricaded me from freedom.

An hour later of running and I was exhausted. Lactic acid clogged up my muscles, slowing them down until I was running through syrup. The air was thick, refusing to enter my lungs as I gasped for breath. I felt dizzy. Something was definitely wrong. A run like this was usually wasn't that hard. Right now, it would be a miracle if I made it back without walking.

But I pushed on.

There was no way I was going to walk; I wasn't that ill. There was a saying I always loved: if you're ill, exercise will kill you or cure you. I suppose this time, exercise was not the remedy for my cold. In fact, as headquarters came into sight, I felt like my legs were going to collapse under me. _Breathe, _I told myself. _This isn't hard._

Sparks appeared in my vision, pulling a blanket of darkness into the corner of my eyes. Soon, everything went black.

…

"I heard Levi collapsed!" someone panted, bursting into the room I was in. My eyelids were heavier than lead, refusing to move. I was still confused: where was I; how did I get here; what happened; what day was it?

"He's fine." Someone else interjected calmly. "He's ill, but it's not severe. He just forced his body too much." Then, her voice changed. "Bastard. Why does he have to worry us?!"

"Where did he collapse? How long ago?"

"About an hour ago, one of the soldiers came running to me looking like the building was burning down. He explained that Levi was on the ground near the woods but he was scared to move him. I took him back here and he hasn't woken since." I felt the world fading out again as I drifted back to sleep. My unconscious called to me.

"And it's just a cold?"

"Yeah. Earlier, I noticed him coughing a lot. He hides it well, even to himself. This happened once before actually. No one knew he was ill until the next minute, he was throwing up all over the floor. Needless to say, he wasn't impressed with himself."

"Phew."

"By the way, have you spoken to him yet?"

"Of course not. It was only this morning we had that conversation."

"If you wait here by his side, then you can use your femininity when he wakes up."

"To do what?"

"You know, act the wife. 'Levi-kuuun, don't push yourself!' And then lean over him to place a wet towel on his head."

"He won't like that. The water drops will dirty the sheets."

"Ahh, good point. Then feed him soup!"

"No."

Taking a deep breath, I forced my eyes open. Strength refilled my body with every breath. I noticed that I was in my room, but there were others there too. Two women who had noticed me waking and were now sat staring at me. Sitting up, I glared unintentionally at them; this was unintentional because the headache was causing me to squint in the light.

"Lena. Hanji. "I noticed.

"Gooooood morning~" Hanji chimed, bounding over to me and leaning forward. "How are you feeling, sleeping beauty."

"You're polluting my air. Get lost."

"Why are you always so horrible when you're ill?" Hanji whined.

"Why are you in my room? Again?" I ignored her, scowling at Lena. Lena pouted back.

"Fine. Sorry for worrying." She said, looking away angrily. I swung my legs from the bed and ignored the stars glittering in my vision.

"Ah ah," Hanji shook her head and placed her hand on my chest. "Rest, or you'll just embarrass yourself again."

_Damn her. _I thought. _She knows how to persuade me. _

I decided to do what she said, moving the pillows so that I could sit upright, gladly swallowing the water on my beside table.

"You can leave. I'm fine."

"I've got nothing better to do." Lena shrugged. "They're doing physical training."

"When are you going to start physio? Or are you too lazy?"

"She'll start it when the sling is off." Hanji interjected. "You can't rush the human body, as you found out."

"Shut it." I hissed, the headache reappearing. All I wanted was for them to leave so that I could get my head straight... Was for Lena to leave so that my eyes wouldn't be drawn to her... so that I wouldn't say something stupid.

I was such a bastard. I'd told her that I had used her.

"Lena, make sure he doesn't leave this room." Hanji smiled. Before I could order her to leave, Hanji grinned further. "I've already asked Erwin's permission to have you locked in here. Keheh."

"You're all such..." I almost swore.

"Wait, Hanji-" Lena began to panic, stepping to stop the mad scientist; the door was already shut; we were alone; I sighed heavily.

We were both quiet as time dragged by. Lena took a chair and sat by the window. I watched her out of my peripheral vision, noticing as she twisted a curl of her pony tail with one hand. Ever since Ava had passed away, Lena hadn't worn her hair in plaits.

"Why do you wear your hair like that?" she was surprised at my question, turning slightly to look at me. Her eyes shone and her irises were the usual chocolate brown. I hated sweet things... but those chocolate eyes I would gladly consume.

"I can't do it with one hand." she sighed. I paused.

"I'll do it."

"What?"

"I can tie plaits." I shrugged. Lena's lip twitched.

"How do you know how to do something like that?"

"Why shouldn't I?" I replied. "Besides, it makes things neater and it isn't difficult." Lena regarded me, before nodding.

"Okay."

"Come here then; bring a chair." I instructed, sitting on the edge of the bed and waiting as she moved her chair in front of me, lowering herself with her back to me. Her neck was exposed before me as her hair moved to one side. I took it between my fingers, lifting it and combing it softly. I made sure not to tug to hard as I began to twist her hair, plaiting it from the very roots.

"Ava always said my hair was very soft." she said quietly.

"Mm." Yes it was. It felt like she had never been outside- as soft as a baby's hair from top to tip. The colour was magnificent.

Upon closer inspection, it wasn't even a light brown. It was a rainbow of colours from blonde to almost black. The majority of it was light brown, tumbling just past shoulder length. When I came to the end of her hair, I wished it was longer. Wrapping around the bobble, I pretended to fix the sides to make it neater. She was still quiet, breathing gently in the silence. Her neck was exposed to me again now that her hair was tied up. I traced my fingers around her hair line, then moved them to the base of her neck. She became rigid.

"What are you doing?"

"You know, Lena..." I muttered, stoking her shoulders. "I didn't use you."

"P-pardon?"

"When I said that it was just because you were there..." My fingers ran along her jawline and touched her lips, before retreating back to her neck. Her head twisted away from my cold touch, but the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. "It was because I couldn't control myself."

"What are you saying?" she was nervous. I was making her nervous. I didn't know how I felt about that. I hated that she cared so much about what I said; I could hurt her with one wrong word... but I loved that what I was doing was setting her nerves alight.

"I'm saying that..." My hands wandered to her hips and I rested my head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Are you... are you delirious?" My hands immediately snapped away from her and I moved back.

"What?" Now_ I _was confused.

"Is this because you're ill?"

"W-what?!" I was taken-a-back. What the hell was she saying? Suddenly, my headache began to return.

"When we kissed, you said you were sorry. You just said it again." Lena stood up from the chair and span around. Her eyes were wide and confused. "Why can't you give me a straight answer?!"

"I-"

"Don't mess with me!" She yelled and I felt cornered. What had I done wrong now? "Don't kiss me and forget. Don't kiss me and apologise. Don't apologise and ignore me. Don't tell me you've used me, then suddenly say you haven't. I hate this!" Lena stamped her foot in frustration and looked away. "Why can't you give me a straight answer?!"

A straight answer? What was that? 'I love you?'... I couldn't say that. Someone like me didn't love; it would only end in tragedy. Besides, she didn't deserve someone like me. When I looked up, Lena was still staring at me expectedly. I guessed that she wanted an answer now.

"I can't." I admitted.

"You..." Her eyes lowered. "You can't give me a straight answer?"

"No."

"Then don't play around with me please." With that, she stormed over to the door and slammed it behind her.

I had done something stupid again.

**LENA-**

I was pissed. I was _so _pissed. Yet again, he'd managed to mess with my head. I didn't want to be someone he could kiss and touch whenever he felt like it, then abuse and ignore the next. It drove me up the wall because he'd raise my hopes, then shatter them into fractures.

I was pissed. I had nothing to do and nowhere to go, so all I could do was wander the halls and hope I didn't bump into him. I stormed outside and kicked the grass as I walked.

"Lena, wait!" someone yelled. Hell, if it was Levi I was going to-

"Guthrie! What are you doing here?"

"Wow!" Said man stepped backwards from my glare. "What happened?"

"Don't ask." I huffed. "What are you doing here?"

"I twisted my ankle so Stein said to head back and rest it, rather than aggravate it."

"Oh." I continued to walk, not willing to start up a conversation in my current mood. He walked beside me, clearly with different intentions.

"Do you want to go for a walk? We have ages."

"Where?"

"I'll take you into town." Guthrie smiled gently, taking my arm and leading me in the opposite direction. I let him, figuring I had nothing better to do.

Guthrie made small talk about what I had missed as we walked. I answered with monotonous, one word replies, yet he still persisted.

"And Kurt really pissed off Luann. He mentioned that his parents were from a better background because she's always treating others like they're lower than her. Now he keeps calling her a commoner and she nearly hit him earlier."

"Sounds like Kurt." I said.

"Then he was singing as loud as he could during paired exercises 'where is your boy tonight?'"

"Aha."

"It drove her up the wall because she knew he was talking about Levi." Guthrie smiled to himself, but his smile froze quickly. "Okay, you need to tell me what's up." His tone suddenly hardened and he looked at me, a serious expression on his face.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"I'm just annoyed."

"About what?" Guthrie pressed. I rolled my eyes and grunted.

"Nothing, just leave it."

"It's clearly _not_ nothing!"

"It's nothing I want to talk to you about." I said, faintly regretting it. He narrowed his eyes and looked away, annoyance creasing his brow. As we neared town, he still refused to speak to- or even look at- me. Minutes dragged by and he still remained in his mini tantrum.

Guthrie had always been the person with the most common sense in our friendship group, staying calm longer than me, who was generally very calm (excluding anything that revolved around one unmentionable guy), whilst sorting out any arguments between us. He was the solid oak of assurance whilst the rest of us were running around like our legs were on fire... specifically, Kurt, who stressed so much at the tiniest thing and once actually set his trousers on fire. For him to get annoyed, I must have done something wrong.

We moved into the town where previously markets had busied the streets. The last time I had been here, it'd been packed full of people like bees in a hive. That atmosphere compared to the quiet area now was like comparing black to white. I heard footsteps behind me and flinched.

"Mama, can Andy come over to play?" A child scuttled past. Just a child. Nothing more.

"Of course, honey. When would you like?"

We strolled past the alleyway where _it _had happened. Guthrie didn't seem to notice me switch sides to walk towards the centre of the street. I didn't like the look of all the gloomy alleyways cutting off from both sides, sticking close to Guthrie. I felt safe behind him, since his mere size was enough to ward off most pick-pockets and thieves. Whilst thinking this as strongly as I could, I tried to convince myself that the man walking towards us was not a threat. I was just paranoid. He would walk straight past and-

"Hey, girl," The man came close and blocked my path. Immediately, I grabbed Guthrie's sleeve and pressed myself into his side. "Sorry to scare you, do you know how I can get to this street?" The man gestured to the name on a piece of paper. My breath rushed out in relief. Guthrie signalled to the man where to go, casting me a confused glance as I lessened my grip on him and reluctantly pulled away. As we were left alone again, Guthrie finally broke his tantrum to speak to me.

"You've been really tense. Are you okay?"

"S-sorry... He just startled me."

"You're sweating."

"You shouldn't say that to a girl!" I laughed falsely. "We don't sweat, we glisten."

"Glisten or glow, you have been acting strange."

"Look, can we drop it?"

"No. I'm frustrated." He said, folding his arms.

"What? Why?"

"You've become so close to Levi that you don't speak to us any more. You don't tell us what's on your mind."

"I do!" I protested, hinting to the morning's escapade with Kurt and the whole 'make men fall to your feet!' discussion.

"You don't. You won't tell me what's wrong even though something is clearly upsetting you! I'm pissed that you pick that bastard over us!"

"I don't!" I was utterly astounded. This was the first time I had argued with Guthrie properly. I couldn't even comeback his arguments.

"Then tell me now!" he said, gently holding my shoulders as I suddenly became self-conscious of others around us. "Please." he added, his eyes softening so I couldn't resist his honesty and kindness.

"The thing is..." I began, looking away and feeling a tinge of red taint my cheeks. "The last time I came here, I was mugged."

"What?!" he exclaimed, eyes wide. "You came alone? When?"

"It was a few weeks ago." I shrugged. "They only took my money."

"But-... why-...?" Eventually, he sighed and released my shoulders. "Why didn't you just tell us? Tell me?"

"I..." Avoiding his eyes, I swallowed. He sighed again, shaking his head. Then, he did something I wasn't expecting. He slipped his hand into mine and placed the other hand on my chin to force me to look up to him- woah, he was tall. "G-guthrie," I began, but he stopped me.

"Since you've told me that... I have a secret to tell you too."

"A secret?"

"Listen, Lena. You mean the world to me. The way you lost everything and can still smile; the way you're so whimsical and do things on impulse; the way you can joke around when everyone else is panicking... I could go on forever."

_Oh no. What is this? Please no- not this._

"I love you, Lena." _Oh. This... What the hell do I do now? _"I know, you probably like Levi. But, you deserve better. Please reconsider. Even if it's not me, please don't cause yourself harm and-"

"Stop!" I yelled, squeezing my eyes shut. "Stop, stop, stop! I have too much on my mind right now! I can't give you an answer... I'm sorry!" The fluster I felt made me stammer and ramble. He looked at me sadly.

"Alright." He said. "But, I will ask you again. So please, have an answer ready for me."

Aaaaaand that basically sums up the awkward walk back. If I had thought it had been quiet walking there, walking back was even worse- ten times worse. Twenty times worse. Still, I couldn't help but mull over all the thoughts flying around in my head, whilst trying to capture and order them. Levi, Levi, Guthrie, Levi, Guthrie, Levi, Levi.

"_I can't give you an answer." _Twice those words had appeared in my life today. The first time, Levi had said them to me and they had driven me up the wall, across the ceiling and back again. The next time, I had said them. Knowing how it felt to be on the receiving end of those words pained me; it left you stranded and uncertain. Who was in the wrong? If I had said the same words that I had despised before, I was a hypocrite. Maybe I had overreacted.

All I knew was that now, finally, I had my answer. I could sort out this uneasiness in my chest... for now.

…

"Levi!"

I was running, albeit awkwardly since I was trying not to jolt my arm out of habit, through the corridors of HQ. I had my answer, but Levi was not there. He wasn't in his room doing paperwork; he wasn't in any of the usual places. I crashed through Hanji's door, then back out again, thundering down the hallways in search of him.

"Hey, Lena!"

"Sorry, Hanji, I'm in a rush!"

Seriously, this place was too big. It was stupidly hard to avoid Guthrie and search for Levi. It didn't seem like Guthrie's injury was serious and he'd probably sleep it off, which was good for me as it meant I wouldn't be bumping into him all the time. We had parted ways as soon as we had returned, as I used the convenient excuse that I needed the toilet.

"Levi!" I called again.

"Which brat is being so damn loud?" I stopped abruptly as the very man I was looking for slammed open a door and glared out. He saw me and raised his eyebrows.

"S-sorry, I need to speak with you."

"It'll have to wait." He dismissed, about to disappear back into the room again.

"Hey wait! Don't be rude!" I marched over to him and grabbed the door before he could shut it.

"Brat, do you know where you are?!" Levi hissed. I peered around the door and gasped. "I'm in a meeting with the commander! Get lost!"

"I am so sorry!" I bowed to the commander, flustered. He simply nodded as I retreated away quickly. The door closed in front of me. "Oooh shit."

I hovered at the staircase waiting for Levi to finish his meeting, imagining the commander scorching mental black marks against my name. I hadn't even had the chance to do anything useful before I had gotten injured, then I was screaming and running down corridors... Good one, Lena.

Just then, Levi exited the commander's office and strode over to me.

"What is it, Hertz?" Ouch, last name terms.

"I came to apologise."

"For which part of your life? Or just your existence?" Double ouch.

"I may have overreacted this morning. I'm sorry." I said, lowering my head. He regarded me, but still said nothing. This compelled me to continue. "Take your time giving me an answer. Whatever it is, I'll take it, Levi."

"It's corporal." Levi said, still glaring at me coldly. I shivered under his stare. He sighed, kneading two fingers into his temple.

"Are you still feeling ill?"

"What's it to you?"

"Really, why did I even apologise." I grunted, swiftly turning away and marching down the stairs.

"Wait, Lena." He called, somewhat reluctantly. "We'll speak again later. I'll give you an answer."

"I wait with baited breath." I snorted sarcastically. But, in actual fact, I felt a small bit of nausea at the prospect of his answer. I walked away, cursing the turn of events recently in my life.

It all started with that stupid horse.

.

**AN:**

**It started with a horse, how did it end up like this. I was only a horse. It was only a horse.**

*** laughs at own joke ***

**Yeah, my life is getting busy and so I'm struggling to update half as regularly... but on a positive note, I've made up for those previous short chapters with an extra large edition;) But seriously if it takes too long to update, I may start doing a recap paragraph at the start of each chapter.**

**So many Fall Out Boy references in this story. Probably due to my jealousy of everyone who went to see FOB and The Pretty Reckless... Grr.**

**But omgomgomg apparently SNK season 2 is out soon?! And deathnote remake! Woop!**

**Thanks for reading! And reviewing! And reading this pointless AN!**


	12. SNEERING PIGS 2

**SNEERING PIGS 2**

Time had passed.

It had passed painfully slowly as I awaited Levi's answer. Guthrie had returned to normal activities as his injury had healed; Levi had been his usual scarce self and I had hardly seen him for days. Upon speaking with Hanji, she had informed me that this was because the commander had at least tripled his workload. Levi was working ridiculously hard, coming up with plans and signing papers, whilst sorting out issues in the legion. Apparently, there was a huge incident with the military police as one of the legion had injured a civilian whilst attempting to kill a titan. They were debating whether the soldier should receive retribution for this; Levi was desperately fighting this man's side as his superior. This meant either he was too busy to give me an answer, or he was ignoring me.

From numerous incidents of ear-wigging, I had found out that Levi was in court today for the final judgement on the soldier. He would return later, and so I was hoping to catch him at some point. Despite everything - an answer, or not – it hurt not to see him. I missed him. The simple fact was, his nonchalant, unsociable existence was enough for me. Now, I was pondering in my room how many excuses to spend time with him I could think of.

"Hey, pig." Luann said, opening the door to our room and sitting on the edge of her bed. She yanked off her boots and massaged her feet.

"Hey." I replied, used to this method of greeting; it had simply become a nickname of which she called me. "Feet hurting, princess?"

"Not everyone is used to manual labour."

"I can tell."

"Whatever."

She began to tape up the blisters on her feet, covering the red blotches with dirtied material. Her blisters looked bad; either her boots didn't fit or she truly wasn't used to anything that involved moving from her throne. "If I were you, I'd let them air. Putting material on them will just provide more irritation."

"Well it's a good job you're not me then. Otherwise I'd smell."

"But you wouldn't have bad feet or an attitude problem."

"Hn." Luann sniffed, clearly unimpressed.

"Say," I started, hesitantly, laying back on my bed and staring at the wooden bars of the top bunk where people had etched messages. "How do you talk to someone who doesn't speak?"

"Sign language."

"They can still hear, dumb-shit." I scoffed.

"If they can still hear, then you can still talk to them?" Luann frowned, flicking open a book and sorting through her bags for a pencil.

"Okay, a different question. How do you get close to someone who doesn't do casual stuff?"

"Your grammar is appalling. Did you even go to school? Or couldn't your parents afford it?"

"Don't prevaricate." I smirked- even I could use big words... occasionally.

"Well, dumb-shit, you flirt. Everyone does flirting, even if they don't like small-talk."

"What? Flirting is stupid."

"Oh how quaint." She smirked, scribbling in her notepad. "Let me tell you- flirting is the best way to get a human's attention."

"It didn't work for you and Levi."

"Like I said, a _human's _attention."

"Valid point."

"Are you and Guthrie finally getting it on then?" Luann changed the subject. I snorted and bolted upright like she had jabbed all my nerve clusters at once. "You're so attractive." She noted sarcastically.

"What are you talking about?!"

"I figured since you were interested in flirting, you and Guthrie were finally moving forward."

"Well..." I paused, unsure of why I was revealing this information. "He confessed to me."

"So you're dating?"

"No."

"You don't like him that way?"

"No."

"You like someone else?" -Bullseye. I had to say, Luann had a sixth sense for this type of thing. She was always the first to piece things together whenever any drama occurred in training. One time, she had a theory that one of the men in training with our intake had cheated on his wife at home. She had ingeniously noticed many microscopic things he said and did, which she claimed showed he had a 'guilty conscience'.

Some of her evidence astounded me at how keen her eyes were. She noticed that he went home to his wife a lot on weekends and sometimes in the evenings since he didn't live far away. However, occasionally he would come back in different clothes to what he went away in, and other times he would be wearing the same. She concluded that he was visiting his home on some days, so he could easily go to his wardrobe and get changed, yet other days he was going somewhere else and did not bring a change of clothes. Therefore he must be staying overnight somewhere where he had no change of clothes and that gave him a guilty conscience. I hadn't heard the whole story, but it turned out she was right and the man was caught cheating.

"N-no."

"Don't lie. This type of thing is obvious to me." Luann almost smirked, but she held her pride in and attempted to remain calm and cool. "Kurt?"

"No."

"Stein?"

"No."

"Well, it's not like I'm interested." she shrugged, chewing on the end of her pencil before continuing to scribble. The strokes of her pencil were not consistent. Sometimes, she'd start at the top and others she would scribble in the centre or the bottom.

"Are you drawing?" I asked, tentatively.

"Yeah."

"Can I see?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you'd love me to see." I said, swinging my legs to the floor and stepping over to her. She didn't attempt to block my view of her sketch; nor did she show it to me. Luann kept on moving her pencil along the page, letting the tip skitter and flow, creating texture and depth as she worked. I stared, impressed. From my position upside down, I could see it was a bird. She'd perfected the shadows of the branches perfectly. The light from the sun cast a dark patch across the chest of the bird as it hid within the branches. "What does it mean?"

"What do you think it means?"

"A bird..." I hummed, thinking. "Jiyuu no tsubasa. Something caged within branches- but it wants to be caged. It finds safety within the branches even though it could easily fly out. There is sunlight beyond the branches which shows that the grass is greener outside where it can be free, but the bird is cowering from the light so it is scared of what lies outside the safety of it's nest."

"Jeez what are you, Shakespeare?" Luann scowled, smudging a section of the bird's chest with her finger.

"Was I right?"

"No, shit-head. It's just a bird sat in a fucking tree."

…

I was called out later to one of the rooms in HQ. It was so far away from my usual territory that I had to ask for directions. The room was at the other end of HQ on the top floor, away from the dorms. I didn't know why I had been called; I had just been told to hurry up. Opening the door which I prayed to be correct, I peered inside.

"Welcome!" Hanji grinned. She was sat on a table whilst others perched on chairs around it. I looked around and sat down where Hanji had instructed. It was then that I saw Levi, my heart jumping in my chest. What was going on?

"Now that you've all wasted my time getting here, I'll explain why I gathered you." Levi said, glaring at Hanji until she sheepishly slid into a proper seat and sat like a student in an exam. The others in the room seemed just as naive as me.

"Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Akerman, Armin Alert, Historia Reiss, Jean Kirstein, Connie Springer, Sasha Blouse, Guthrie Eisenberg, Kurt Jung, Lena Hertz. You're moving out of your current squad. I'm reforming Levi squad with a new aim- to protect Eren and Historia."

I was stunned. I had always thought Levi's team was a place for the best- not neewbies like me. It seemed others were just as stunned as me. Levi caught my eyes as I gaped. "Is there a problem, Hertz?"

"Well, why have I been chosen?"

"You'll be out of action anyway and this group will be taking part in things that won't always need physical ability. Erwin thought you'd have something to do." Ahh, so that was why. I was here because I was useless. "And you were third in your intake so your ability is good." He added, possibly trying to make me feel less useless. It hadn't really worked. "And then," he sighed as I lowered my head. "There's the fact I can trust you."

There was no doubt in my mind that my face was bright scarlet right then. I focussed on the floor as Levi calmly continued, as though unaware that he had just sent my mind into turmoil.

"The last intake's top ten who didn't turn out to be fuckin' titans... except Eren... as well as positions one, two and three of the most recent intake are now the new members of the Special Operations Squad."

"Then why is Hanji-san here?" Eren muttered, genuinely wondering but scared to voice his concerns around Levi.

"I'm just interested." Hanji shrugged.

"She's slacking off work." Levi scowled. "From now on, you'll be training with me and completing assignments. The information you learn cannot be repeated to anyone- not even under torture. If you crack under torture, then I'll torture you again when I find out, got it?" We all gulped nervously. "We start tomorrow at 5am. The canteen is opening early especially for you so don't be late."

"Yes, sir!" Eren and Sasha called, saluting. The rest of us muttered something similar afterwards.

"You're dismissed." Levi called.

…

"Lena!" Guthrie called as we all began to stand and leave. My back snapped straighter than a steel bar.

"A-ah, Guthrie!" I smiled. "What's up?"

"We've got spare time until tomorrow... do you want to go out tonight?"

"With you and Kurt? Sure!" I interjected quickly, trying to maintain my composure.

"Y...yeah. Sounds good." Guthrie stepped in front of me and Kurt hovered behind, frowning quizzically at me from over Guthrie's broad shoulder.

"In fact, why don't we invite everyone! It'll be fun!" Ahhh... I was definitely clearer than glass right now. My intentions were so obvious I might as well scream 'it's awkward because I don't like you!'. Thankfully, Guthrie played along.

"Yeah, sounds good. Where should we go?"

"Ah!" Kurt moved forward. "I've got a place! I found this place where you can see over the walls and it's really great at night because you can see the stars."

"Wow, really?" I asked, generally stunned. It wasn't often you could see over the walls.

"Everyone!" Kurt called, causing people to stop in the doorway and look at him. "We're going out tonight, is anyone coming?"

"I'm in, I'm in!" Sasha smiled, jostling Connie to get him to come. He nodded.

"We'll go." Armin said, speaking for Mikasa and Eren too.

"Well, I've not got much to do." Hanji said.

"Clearly." Levi spat, continuing out.

"Oi, oi." Hanji stopped him by grabbing his shoulder. "You're coming too, right?"

"Of course not." He shrugged her hand off. "I actually have work to do."

"Oh come on!" Hanji pleaded.  
>"Yeah, Levi!" I joined in. "Just come." Levi's eyes wandered the room before settling on mine. I pulled my best childish pout and for a fraction of a second, I swore he laughed. It was a soft, quiet laugh- more of a snort, to be honest. But it was there.<p>

"I'll think about it."

"Yey!" Hanji cheered, bounding around him. All of a sudden, I felt bad for rejecting Guthrie's ploy to be alone with me. But at the same time, I was happy that we were all getting to relax again before another day of hard work. I was sure that Levi felt the same; for a team to work best, they need to bond and relax together. The leader was such an important part of the team that it was vital they were there.

Later, Kurt was leading us towards the place he had found. Ahead, the track faded and began to ascend. The top of the tall hill seemed like miles away. Everyone had fallen into little groups, chatting. I was walking with Guthrie, Kurt, Hanji and Levi. Hanji was practically dragging Levi along, who attempted to fade into the background numerous times. Guthrie was standing uncomfortably close to me and eventually, Kurt couldn't stand it anymore.

"Ah, Lena!" He said, turning quickly to me. "C'mere. I've got something to tell you." Guthrie raised an eye brow as I gladly skipped to Kurt's side and leaned in as he whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"Why is Guthrie clinging to you? Has something happened?"

"He c-confessed." I admitted, blushing.

"WHAT?!"

"SHHH!"

"I mean, I knew he liked you but I figured he was too chicken!" Kurt shook his head in disbelief. "When?"

"When he injured his ankle."

"What did you say?"

"I avoided his question like the plague." I said. "Help me, Kurt."

"Kehe." Kurt grinned. "Another knight battling for a young maiden's affection."

"This isn't a joke; I'm scared! What do I say?!"

"Nothing! You let Levi get jealous!"

"You're so horrible! Your future girlfriend will have a such a task trying to keep you loyal."

"I am loyal!" He protested. "I just like dramatic relationships. It strengthens the bond."  
>"Oh shut it you romantic idiot." I laughed.<p>

"I'll speak to him about it when I can." Kurt said, seriously. "I'll find out his intentions."

"Bleh." I shivered. "Intentions."

"Not those type." Kurt snickered. "Although-"  
>"NO." I plugged my ears. "No, no!"<p>

We walked back over to Guthrie, still climbing higher and higher. Immediately, Guthrie enclosed the gap between us and smiled at me.  
>"What were you talking about?"<p>

"Kurt asked if Armin has a boyfriend." I said, keeping a straight face.

"You are such a-..." Kurt growled, but stopped himself.

"Lena," Hanji jogged to catch up with us, dragging Levi behind her. "How's your arm?"

"It's great, thanks!"

"It's been just over two weeks now. Soon you'll be able to take off the sling!"

"Hardly soon." Levi scoffed. "Three more weeks- minimum."

"She's young! It'll heal quickly!"

"She's young, not God."

"Take your negativity elsewhere!"

"Someone needs to offload your over positivity."

"Uwwaa!" I interrupted, pointing to the horizon. "I see green!"

Just above the top of the wall, a line of green had become visible of the outside world. We all absorbed the beauty of that fraction of freedom for a second, forever climbing higher and revealing more. I sighed happily.

"Hey, Lena," Kurt grinned. "I'll race you to the top!"

"That's ridiculous!" I said, noticing Levi had said exactly the same thing at exactly the same time.

"She's injured." He finished. I nodded.

"And it'll take another half an hour to walk it to the top."

"We're not going to the top." Kurt said. "There's a ledge a few meters from the top where we can all sit. The top is too windy but that ledge is shaded. You can still see everything well."

"I'll take up that offer!" Hanji beamed at Kurt, challengingly.

"Me too." Guthrie grinned.

Kurt began to run, with those two following close behind. The others spotted the race that had begun to ensue and ran too.

"Why are they running too?" I murmured.

"Because Kurt is the only one who knows the way." Levi, who was still maintaining his stubbornness to walk, grunted.

"I don't want to get lost!" I yelled, suddenly feeling panicked. My sense of direction was terrible and right now, I had no clue where we were or which route to take down.

"We won't. Calm-" Levi was cut off mid-sentence as I began to run. "Hey!"

"My sense of direction is terrible!" I called back, trying desperately to catch up and keep sight of Historia, who had been the last one to begin running.

"Your arm though!"

"I'll be fine!" I faced forward after shouting over my shoulder. Behind me, Levi cursed under his breath and suddenly his footsteps were beside me.

"Stop. You'll injure yourself."

"I don't want to be left behind." I struggled to say without panting, rushing out the words.

"C'mere-"

"EEK-!"

Suddenly, I was in his arms -princess style- and he was bounding up the hill. My arm was safe since he avoided touching my shoulder, whilst his running was so smoothly I could barely feel the bump of his footsteps. I felt my cheeks burn and looked up to see him smirking.

"Why are you laughing?!" I grunted, embarrassed.

"You squealed like a pig." He said, pausing before relaxing his facial muscles into a neutral expression, like always.

I took this opportunity to think over what would happen to us tomorrow. It was the type of thing most soldiers avoided thinking of: what if the titans broke through the wall? What if tomorrow was filled with grotesque crunching sounds of teeth on bone, the slashing of blades on skin and the screams of the innocent... We, as soldiers, should not look forward without caution. Instead, my mind drifted to the possibilities ahead as part of the new Levi squad. It would be dangerous, there was no doubt about that.

I stared into Levi's grey eyes. Upon first glance, Levi was a person full of monotony- his black hair; his dark eyes shadowed by a frown; his thunderous voice. Once a person gets closer to him though, they can see a spark of life hidden behind that monotony. The frown he always wears becomes a sign of calmed determination- a thoughtful, calculating person. Instead of him appearing to be a person lacking in any personality, people can begin to see his character through his cravat and neat appearance, the way he carries his body with pride and even how he almost seems feminine with how he sits and drinks daintily. The things that cannot be seen straight away become clearer.

That's when people realise that he is _human. _

I'm sure that his previous squad realised that before me. Eren may have even begun to see it. The majority of the public though are blind to his human side, blinded by his prowess so that they consider him merely a weapon. Yet, Levi did not care about _the public. _He cared about his squad and only they would personally see his true self. He is completely unlike me- I am transparent. Give me a pair of socks for Christmas and my nose will wrinkle as I lie about how happy I am (seriously, I have about thirty pairs of socks that have somehow wriggled their way into my draw from my sister's bedroom at some point in my life).

Sisters.

It suddenly hit me in my day dream that I knew nothing about Levi. Not even his surname. Not even how long he has been in the legion or how old he is.

"Tell me about yourself, Levi." I instructed, realising that I had maybe seemed a. random and b. rude.

"Is now the * hah * time?"

"You're tired from this?! Hardly humanity's strongest."  
>"I'll drop you, brat."<p>

"You're losing Historia- run faster."

"Seriously I'm going to-"

"Who are you, Levi?" I interrupted as he continued panting up the hill.

"Isn't it customary to introduce yourself before you ask about others?" He snorted.

"Okay okay. I'm Lena Hertz. I was brought up on a farm and I'm 20 years old. I had a sister and a mother but they both died in the invasion. My older brother and father are still alive but I haven't seen them recently. I hate horses and I'm a new member to Levi's squad in the scouting legion. Your turn."

"When was the last time you saw your dad and brother?"

"Oi, don't change the subject." I scowled. "My brother joined the Royal Military Police and I never saw him again, whilst my dad disappeared in the invasion."  
>"How do you know they're not-" Levi stopped himself. "Why didn't you join the RMP?"<p>

"Curiosity, I suppose. Plus, during training Luann put me off since she wanted to join so badly."

"Why did Luann end up joining the Scouting Legion?"

"Who knows." I shrugged. "Who cares."

"Hn." He agreed. At least, I thought he was agreeing.

Levi began to slow down and I twisted to look forward. Historia was walking now, following the others as they edged around a tall cliff face to the ledge behind. He gently put me on my feet again, which was a surprise and I had my muscles tensed and ready for impact. I heard him snort mockingly.

"Ha, ha." I rolled my eyes. "It shouldn't be funny that I expected you to drop me. You should be ashamed."  
>"That a man would hurt a woman?" Levi raised one eye brow and looked down at me, tilting his head so that the line of his jaw was made more apparent.<br>"No, don't give me that bullshit. That a human would hurt a human."

"So you're not a feminist?"

"Actually, I don't agree with 'feminism' on it's own. I don't argue that women shouldn't get hit by men or that kind of thing. Gender isn't the problem. If you're hitting someone who's not fighting back or able to fight back, that's wrong." I lectured. Levi smirked and I began to feel self conscious. I hated being ignorant... had I said something wrong?

"What if they've murdered hundreds?"

"Then they're not human so a good punch to the face makes no difference."  
>"Then you should punch me?"<br>"Huh?"  
>"It doesn't matter." He dismissed, about to disappear around the wall of rock to the ledge.<br>"You're talkative tonight. Why are you asking so much?"

"I'm always sociable."  
>"I'd call it sociopath, not sociable." He vanished as I made another insulting remark. As I scaled the rock face to the ledge, I was met with a flick to the forehead.<p>

"Psychopath." He corrected.

"Usually the conversation goes the other way around."

"Lena! Lena sit here!" Kurt was waving to me with his legs crossed on the far side of the clearing. I shuffled over and sat down between him and Guthrie.

"Uwaa..." I sighed. "It's so beautiful."

Indeed, it was. The wall seemed tiny in comparison to our height and though the light was fading, the huge expanse of the outside world could be seen. Trees casting shadows upon grass tinged golden under the sunlight, surrounded by endless land. Land, land. There were the occasional settlements that had been abandoned. But nothing was prettier than the sun set.

"In an hour or so we'll be able to see the sunset." Kurt smiled at me, noticing how I was totally and utterly enchanted.

"Why? What's different?" I asked, puzzled.

"The horizon changes colour. We only ever see the oranges, but watching a full sunset is much, much more beautiful."

"What even causes a sunset?"

"Light reflecting off dust and cloud matter." Hanji interjected before anyone could speak. "And actually, the sun has already set. We're seeing the aftermath of light."

"Hah?" A chorus of confused voices piped up.

"Don't even bother." Levi grunted from his position behind us, sprawled out on the grass. "We've had this argument before."

"It seriously is! I have a theory that the sun is so distant from us that by the time light has reached us, the sun has already vanished over the horizon."

"But it's there?" Kurt frowned.

"But it's not really."  
>"It is!" He pointed at it as if to make a point. "It's there!"<p>

"Okay okay!" Levi groaned. "I've been here before. Seriously, don't start with her." Hanji muttered something under her breath about being unappreciated and also about 'uneducated people'...

"Why are you sat so far away?" I asked Levi. He just huffed.

"Come closer, heichou. There's room." Jean shuffled away from Eren to give him space.

"I'm fine here."

"Don't be a misery." Hanji pouted.

"There's room here." Kurt grinned as he shuffled away from me. I nearly stuck my tongue out at him but held in the temptation. Levi rolled onto his side away from us.

"Hn."

…

We watched the horizon as pastel colours appeared and melted into the rivers of light banding the sky, twisting and moving, fading and brightening as the sun set and darkness began to creep after it. Once the spectacle was over, I looked around and saw that most people had left. Levi, who had eventually shuffled to sit somewhat near us, yawned. Beside me, Kurt gazed on at the horizon as if wishing for the sun to come back. Guthrie, at my other side, had his knees drawn up with his elbows draped casually over them. He caught me looking and smiled tiredly. I could barely make out the features of Hanji as the light faded, glinting gently on the rim of her glasses. I fell back onto the grass and smiled contently. Guthrie looked back at me.

"You okay?"  
>"Yeah... Just tired." The wind picked up and blew some of my hair into my mouth. My face scrunched up as I tried to blow it back out, not wanting to exert the effort of moving. Guthrie laughed and reached down to tug the lock from my face and behind my ear. I blushed and thanked the darkness for concealing the red tips of my ears. Since when had he acted so... intimately?! It was sickening!<p>

I shivered.

"Are you cold?" No, just slightly disgusted.

"No I'm fine."

"Here, my jacket." Guthrie took off his jacket and laid it over my torso.

"I'm fine!" I insisted. "You'll get cold."

"I won't." His hands lingered on my shoulders through the jacket as he pulled it around me. Sitting up, I forced the jacket back to him.

"Let's not risk it."

"But what about you?"

"It's not even cold." Even as I said this, he placed one palm on my face and frowned.

"Your face is cold." Hands off my face. Please.

"I'm fine!" I pouted furiously, starting to get annoyed. I didn't need him changing like this. I didn't want him acting so closely. Self-consciously, my eyes darted around and I saw that Levi was watching us. I couldn't see his expression and he barely turned his face this way. Only his eyes gave anything about him away as they bored into Guthrie's back.

Guthrie's hand was still on my face as I pouted at him. Suddenly, he chuckled and tousled my hair with his other hand. "Don't pout like that." He smiled. I said nothing and attempted to stare him out. Maybe if I could convey hostility through my eyeballs instead of words, he might get the picture.

**LEVI-**

Jesus, they were pratting about like a love-struck couple. She'd refused his jacket and now he had his hand on her cheek, leaning ever closer to her face. I could barely hear them, but suddenly Lena snapped-

"I'm fine!" She pouted furiously. I raised an eyebrow. Her pout was hardly intimidating; she always looked like an angry kitten. It was an expression you couldn't take seriously, especially with how her nose crumpled unattractively as she glared. Guthrie laughed softly and deeply.

"Don't pout like that."

Lena didn't reply, glaring at him as if to ward him off. Unfortunately, if she thought this was intimidating she was seriously wrong. Lena had always had beautiful eyes and the more emotion she poured into them, the more intoxicating they were. The way she was glaring actually emphasised how her pupils were dilated in the darkness and the remnants of sunlight splashed a mirror of silver across her irises. Out of the corner of my vision, I saw Kurt begin to grin with amusement. He could sense something coming too.

Sure enough, Guthrie leant forward and ki-

Kissed her.

For a second, she was too shocked to react. Then, she exploded and pushed him away violently with her good arm. He was put off balance and fell backwards as she moved away from him. "S-Sorry!" He quickly apologised, eyes wide with shock. "I'm sorry."  
>"I only want to be friends!" She yelled, wiping her mouth frantically.<p>

"I know, I... I'll go." He turned away and walked back with his shoulders down. For a second, he stopped and span around again. "I am so sorry. It won't happen again." Lena didn't reply but watched him walk away.

"Levi, do you remember the way down?" Kurt jumped to his feet and asked me. I was surprised, but nodded. "Then don't go back too late. I'll leave Lena in your hands."

"I'm going too." Hanji stood. Kurt chased after Guthrie and Hanji patted me on the back as she went past. Soon, we were alone and I was searching for the right words.

"Oi, brat. Are you okay?"

"Fine." She muttered.

"So he... likes you then?"

"Unfortunately."

"And you don't like him?"  
>"I like him as a friend. To be honest, his feelings are burdensome."<p>

"I see."

It fell quiet between us as she hid her face in her knees. From where I was sat, I could see her lips... those stained lips... Lips that _he _had kissed. A shiver of disgust crept up my spine. Was I jealous?...

"No. I'm not." I muttered to myself, standing and striding over to her. She looked up slightly as I crouched before her. "I'm not jealous." I said.

"I didn't ask if you were?"

"I'm not jealous, I'm pissed." She frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't like other people touching my things." I narrowed my eyes and took her chin in my fingers, roughly slamming my lips onto hers and kissing her. Kissing her. Kissing. Her.

"Levi, wha-" She came up for breath but I overpowered her, pushing my lips onto hers and forcing her mouth open. My hand found it's way into her hair, smoothing out what_ he_ had tangled. Then, I was grasping desperately at the material on her shirt, pulling her into me. She stopped protesting and let me; I felt her relax. Finally, I moved away and gazed into her eyes- they were only centimetres from my own. We were so close it was making my vision blur and my eyes hurt; so close that I could feel her warm breath dancing down my neck in the cool evening air; so close that I could hear her heart pounding wildly, like an animal in her chest... Or was that my heart?

"What are you doing, Levi?" She asked quietly.

"Disinfecting you."

…

**AN: I am openly disappointed with this chapter, which is why it is so long (an attempt to make up for it haha). Therefore, bear with me and hopefully future ones will be better... Though you may have to wait. I have twenty official exams between May and the end of June... Then- PARTY TIME! **

**So whilst I make sure I have a future, hang in there. And thanks for all your amazing support! Like some people have already, feel free to PM me and I will reply. I read all your reviews and I would reply to them all, but if I did that the AN.s would be longer than the chapters haha * cries * …**

**I've got EXO's Overdose and Block B's NalinA in my head... circling... circling... I may be overdosing on KPOP recently. **

**Oh, and I thought I'd just take the opportunity say how we all need to take a moment for those in the Korean crisis and pray for their families... These type of things should not happen and two in such a short amount of time is horrific. Stay strong!**

**Until the next update!**


	13. FALSE PROSPERITY 1

**AN: I'M BAACCKK! EXAMS ARE OOVEERR! SORRY FOR THE WAIT!**

**FALSE PROSPERITY **

"I'm introducing a new rule to our relationship." Lena was scowling at me, but the slap I expected was yet to come.

"Oh yeah?"

"You are forbidden from touching me until the day you confess." She held her gaze steady as I spluttered.

"Confess?!"

"If you like me, you can confess. If you don't, then don't confess obviously. But you won't be able to even put your hand on my shoulder if not. Get it?"

"What makes you think I'll follow the rules?" I smirked, giving her my most powerful glare. To my surprise, she smirked back.

"I'll walk through every hallway in my boots. AFTER I've walked through the horse stables." I winced internally. "AND I'll take the public towels in the gym and showers and wipe them on your bed sheets." Ugh, that's fuckin' disgusting. "AND-"

"Okay stop there, brat." I shivered imagining the unhygienic conditions. "What do I get if I do confess?"

"Me."

"That sounds like the crappiest deal ever."

"You'll have to pay for earlier too." Lena's finger trailed the mud on the ground in a figure of eight. Suddenly, she slashed my cheek with her finger.

"Oi!" I yelled, afraid to touch my face and dirty my fingernails.

"Now we're even."

"We hadn't even made a deal yet."

"Fine, let's shake on it now." She offered her hand and I took it. She clasped my hand tightly and struck my other cheek before I could draw away.

"What the hell?!"

"You touched my hand." She shrugged.

"This really isn't fair." I grumbled as she stood to leave, adjusting her shirt and rubbing down the seat of her trousers.

"Hurry up and confess to me then." she winked, striding off. My mouth dropped open- so damn confident! "I want flowers and a horse and carriage and chocolate!" she called over her shoulder.

"You'll get what you're given!" I huffed.

"Is that a yes then?"

"Over my dead body!"

….

I awoke slowly. Very slowly. I was just in time to wake the others up, but my mind kept telling me to stay in bed. I had a strong headache, probably from lack of sleep. Dragging my feet out first, I crawled onto the cold stone floor and stood to get changed. We had a long, boring day ahead.

I still hadn't woken up when we were having breakfast. I lazily caught Lena's gaze and she scowled from across the room... I just ignored her. My head was throbbing and it felt like demons were scratching at my eyeballs.

"Right..." I stood on a chair when the room had quietened after forcing meat into our churning stomachs. They were all sat in civilian clothing which had hoods to hide their faces- just as I had instructed. "Half of you, stick with Hanji. The other half with me. We're gathering intel today. Keep your eyes sharp for anyone following us and your ears sharper for picking up on scandals. Anything relating to the military police or central is what we're looking for."

"Where are we going?" Eren asked.

"Underground." I said, not providing much of an explanation. _Back to my roots. _I thought and almost cracked a smile.

Almost.

…

The team was split: Historia, Sasha, Mikasa, Armin and Guthrie formed the first team, lead by Hanji. The other team was lead by myself, consisting of Kurt, Eren, Jean, Lena and Connie. I knew that I had been unbelievably bias, but that didn't bother me. Mikasa was strong and cautious- if anything went wrong I trusted her to make the correct decision. Hanji could be reckless, but she was intelligent, like Armin. A team with that formation would be able to keep their wits about them in a place they've never been. Guthrie was in the other team to help me keep my sanity, whilst Lena couldn't be in the same group as him for the same reason... And then, I needed to keep the idiots (Connie, Jean and Eren) in check.

The stone pavement broke up and became stuffed with weeds the closer we got to the entrance to the underworld- one of many hidden entrances. The military police knew of most of them, but didn't bother to guard them. The inner walls liked the idea that the lower class scum were hiding themselves away underground whilst they basked in their own money and riches. The police _could _raid the underground and stop the pilfering of valuable weapons. The police _could _take the homeless people starving to death below ground and send them to work on the farms. The police _could _stop the murders and attacks that filled the underground air with blood and screams... but then again, why would they? Let them fight. Let them starve. Let them die.

I breathed in the memories as the stench of foul air crept up from a dark alleyway. Hoods up, we turned sharply and began the steady decent into hell. Bitterness. Bitterness. I felt my stomach heave as I remembered all the pointless fighting and killing for food- for survival. And they did nothing. Nothing.

"Levi, are you okay?" Lena asked, frowning.

"This is where we split." I said softly to Hanji. She nodded and signalled to her team. As the pathway carved into two, my team took one route and Hanji's took another.

"You ignored my question." Lena speed-walked in line with me again and peeked from under her hood. I shot her a glare and carried on striding forward. She jolted and dropped back... damn, I must have overdone it.

I was looking for an old contact of mine. She was an old woman who managed to save my sorry ass more times than I could count. Her information was more precious than gold, and her prices were low. What's more, her morals dictated that whatever information she sold and to whom would always remain a secret. Most importantly though, she sold no information to the military police- not even under torture (tested theory). Ninety-nine percent of those underground hated the military police. The remaining one percent _were _the military police. They were referred to as terriers, or just dogs.

We swept around another corner into a huge opening, suddenly pushing through congested crowds of people. I felt the others tense up; they'd probably never seen anything like this before. Every face here was taut and twisted with starvation. Skin was stretched so tight over cheekbones that it seemed like one smile would rip their faces, though it wasn't like a smile was easy to come by. I quickly lead them out of the crowds and down familiar streets.

I'd heard before that when people return to their past homes, they marvel over the change. _"Hey, that used to be a baker's", "That was a field" _ and _"This place has changed so much" _… Nothing had changed. Not one bit. Only the faces of the dying children on the corners; only the tones of voice of the screaming people being beaten; only those things had changed. The rotten smell was the same, accompanied bitterly by the dusky light that caused your eyes to throb after several minutes.

I heard Jean burst into a coughing fit as the overpowering smell became too much. Eren's eyes were wide as he looked at all the pitiful scavengers, even going as far as to rob children in order to get money for food. He stepped forward to help as a small child- perhaps four -was kicked from under the feet of a passing gang.

"Stay back, Eren." I ordered. He reluctantly did so. I led them on in the maze of corridors and booming openings, whilst they walked with their heads bowed, trying to ignore the screams.

"My child!" A woman ran over to us, tears streaming over her cheeks. "He stopped breathing! Help me please!" Presenting the child inches from my face, the stench of death caught in the back of my throat. That child had died around a month ago by the smell of it. Someone beside me whimpered and I turned sharply to scold them- it was Lena. My words became dry in my mouth and I bit my tongue.

"Why does nobody do anything?" Eren cursed under his breath. "There are people starving here!"

"There are people starving above ground, too." I said, coldly. "They have priority."

"What?!" Eren gasped. "You're saying that they're more important?! You can't value lives like money!"

"The government can." I spat, still choosing my words carefully. If I didn't watch it, I'd return to the same bitter, angry thug I'd been in the past. "Those people above ground pay taxes."

"But-"  
>"Shut your trap, brat." My fists clenched.<p>

"Eren, let's just finish up here and leave." Lena whispered to him. Eren scowled even harder at the injustice, but, thankfully, saw reason.

"Oi, bastard." A towering man grabbed Connie by the collar. "Watch where you're going."

"S-sorry!"

"Sorry ain't enough. Pay up." The man shook him, even though Connie was already quivering. He looked to me for help.

"Drop the kid." I growled, low in my throat. The big man turned his head to look at me and curled his lip, causing the untamed hairs on his upper lip to shift.

"Think you're tough, shorty? What are you, his mum?" From experience, I knew this man wouldn't just give in. He was desperate for a fight- his blood was craving it. I stepped forward as he dropped Connie to confront me. "Why don't you be the one to pay up then?" He asked, smirking. I spotted something crawl in his hair- ugh, no head-locks then.

"Over my dead body, if you get what I mean." My stance dropped a second before he swung for me, lowering my centre of gravity.

"I'll take everything you own from your body as it lies cold on the floor!" I dodged, turned and delivered a back kick to put him off balance. Then, I stood and smashed two fists against his ears, putting the taller man into a daze. Without giving him time to regain his composure, I hit his pressure point on the top of the skull with a fist. Within three seconds, I had destroyed him. He collapsed to the floor and I began to hurry away. Knowing my luck, he'd be a gang member. And gang members tended to stupidly dive into a fight.

"Scary." Jean shivered from behind me as they scurried after. "He really did hold back on you, Eren."

"Shut up before he hears, horse-face."

"Don't call me that, suicidal idiot."

"Stop it." Lena groaned, sensing another argument between the idiot twins, dumb and dumber.

We were close to our final destination now and I wondered about the safety of Hanji's team. It's not like Mikasa wouldn't be able to get rid of a few thugs... but there were scarier things than thugs in this world. It was clear that we'd escaped the crowds of earlier and were now entering the outer streets; people were scarce, whilst there was no shortage of rats. Right on one corner, a large piece of faded material was strung from the ceiling, concealing an entrance. I pushed the curtain to one-side and peered around.

"Who're ya?" Someone snapped quickly from within the darkness. I couldn't see anything. My instincts called me away from the darkness, but I knew that if they couldn't see my face, they would not let me in.

"Levi. I'm here to see the old woman."

"Levi what?" They replied. I gritted my teeth.

"Does it matter?"

"Anyone could pretend to be the famous Levi from the survey corps." The man had a strong accent that was almost impossible to understand.

"So you know that I used to live underground, then?" I sneered. "Otherwise you'd have used that big metal pole in your hand by now." For a second, the person behind the curtain was startled.

"Sure, I knew ya weren't 'ere on behalf of the survey corps."

"Then stop pissing me about." I tapped my foot impatiently.

"You need the door key t'get to the old woman. It's in this-" A jar was passed outside. My lip curled in disgust: it was filled with ashes.

"Are you fuckin' with me?"

"No, seriously, it's in there." The voice replied. I gritted my teeth so hard that I felt something was going to snap.

"Jean, get it out." I ordered, handing the jar to Jean. He gave me a look that said, 'really?', before moving to empty the jar's contents onto the floor. "OI!" I stopped him quickly. He paused, startled. "Don't make a fuckin' mess!"

"Bingo." The voice interjected. "You're Levi." Someone moved the curtain back and light flooded into the small entrance-way. "Foul mouthed with a neurotic cleaning fetish."

"Fetish?" I spat, ready to pin him against a wall and shake his teeth out one by one.

"I'm just messing with ya." The man, who had bright ginger hair and a beard threatening to take over his whole face, put down the metal weapon he had in his hand and opened the door behind him. "There's no key. That's mi grandma you're holdin'. Who'd bother with a lock when somone'd simply batter t'door down?"

"Hn." I snorted, moving past him and swinging the door open. The others nervously followed.

I blinked furiously in the sudden light that enveloped me. I couldn't see anything for several seconds, but then a figure sat huddled in the corner of the small room, moving her hands rapidly.

"Long time no see, Levi." Another voice appeared to my left and snapped my eyes across. There was a fresh knife in my boot that was thirsty for it's first lick of blood- any more sudden surprises and anyone could easily be on the receiving end. As I took in the guy leaning against the wall in the shadows, that knife became much more appealing.

"Who the heck're you?" I gave him an indifferent look, despite knowing _exactly _who he was. How could I fuckin' forget.

"Ehh~ that's mean." He sneered.

"Hag," I ignored him and moved to the old woman, who was threading pieces of strings together using some tool I didn't recognise. "I need some information." The woman's fingers never stopped working, but she smiled.

"Shonen. You've done well for yourself." Then, she laughed. It sounded like she'd been inhaling smoke for the last fifty years. She probably had. "I can hardly call you that any more though."

"I'd hardly call this doing 'well'. Everything's the same, but with a different target. I kill freakish giants now."

"You're still sneaking about after the dogs?"

"Yeah, that's what I've come for. Anything on the inner walls, the king, royalty or military police."

"Shonen, you're playing a dangerous game there." The woman warned, her wrinkles deepening.

"Life's a dangerous game. You've just got to know how to play it."

"Fine. Then the usual fee." Her fingers paused and one hand reached up to me. I dropped a few coins into her hand and he nodded, without checking. "And the conditions." I nodded- one of her conditions was one-to-one information sharing. That meant, everyone out.

"Everyone, wait for me by the ginger-freak. Don't wander off. Any sign of trouble and come straight back in here, or leave me and run for the exit." They looked at me like puppies, unwilling to fend for themselves out in the wild. "Get out. Jean, you make the decision of whether to stay or run."

"M-me?!" Jean screeched. Sweat beaded on his forehead with sudden responsibility. I'd chosen him because he was the most cowardly. Eren would dive into a fight, Lena wouldn't want to leave me behind, Connie wouldn't know what to do and I didn't know enough about Kurt to make a judgement. I could trust Jean to make a swift run for it at any sign of trouble, with no regards for my safety. They left reluctantly. "You too, slanty-eyed bastard."

"Aaah~ so you do remember me." Konrad said, smiling to reveal his perfectly white teeth. "See you later!~" He chimed, waltzing out of the room and closing the door.

**LENA-**

I was apprehensive to say the least. The stench of things rotting wasn't helping my queasy stomach. We huddled nervously in the small, dark entrance to the unusual room, hearing the footsteps of others walking past us. Each time the footsteps paused, I panicked. Jean looked the most on edge. The reason why Levi had chosen him was still confusing me. He'd just run away at the first sign of trouble? If someone so much as coughed in his direction, he'd abandon Levi and we could be lost without him. Another source of worry was the handsome guy grinning at me.

"So, are you Levi's bird?" He said, still smiling. It wasn't a polite smile... it was an over-confident, teasing smile.

"No." I replied. I wasn't good with small-talk.

"Has he got a bird?"

"Not that I know of."

"Of course he hasn't, that unsociable clean-freak."

"Do you know him well?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"I suppose... Levi killed my mother and older sister."

Well, that threw all hopes of casual conversation out of the window and through the clouds.

"What?!" Eren gasped. The guy was still smiling, white teeth contrasting his brown face. One hand was knitted into his short curly hair, tugging at strands.

"It's true. We used to reside in a similar area. One time, my family were particularly struggling for food- there's nine of us, you see. Or there were. I left with my father and brothers to find a job, but we came back and Levi had killed almost everyone in our area."

"H-he what?"

"Ask him. It was him." Still smiling. Smiling like demons were tickling his heart.

"But... Levi's a good person!" I stammered.

"You think?" the man asked, tilting his head. "How well do you know him?" I bit my tongue and decided to cut off conversation with this man. He seemed to notice that I wasn't going to reply, and stood up to leave. "Nice talking to you~" He waved, disappearing around the curtain.

We were left to contemplate this as the ginger man made small-talk. 'Nice day for walking around the underground' and 'Any of you seen a titan before?'...

Did these people have a habit of making me feel uncomfortable?

I thought and thought about Levi. He had never seemed scary to me. Okay, that's a lie. He never seemed like a killer. Not until today. In my eyes, he was heroic. I'd loved how his personality was contradictory of his title- humanity's strongest soldier. It made him seem like a kind, strong superman saving the world from evil, then he turns out to have a foul personality. When you'd expect him to smile and be gracious, he tells you to 'fuck off and clean the halls'. I loved how his mouth was foul. I loved how his outlook on life was so complicated, yet deliciously simple. I loved how he became more and more predictable the more I knew about him.

And then, he gave me a glare that could freeze hell.

When we were entering the underground, his shoulders visibly tensed: even his gait changed. His eyes hardened and suddenly, it was like I was being shown another side of him. A side from his past that I didn't want to see. A terrifying side of him. When I'd asked if he was all right, I expected him to snap back to the usual Levi and just brush me aside- 'Of course I'm fine, brat'. But he hadn't- I had never been so terrified from one glance in my entire life. Killers intent oozed from his every pore. I'd seen a side to him I'd never seen before.

I never wanted to see it again.

Although he had relaxed slightly after that initial shock, he was tenser than usual for the whole journey to this 'information broker'. Not soon enough, Levi opened the door and left the room. We stood up quickly and I brushed down the seat of my trousers. I met his gaze- it was still cold. In fact, he seemed more troubled than before. Whatever the woman had said to him, it wasn't good news.

"Let's go. We're meeting back up with Hanji's team." We couldn't wait to leave and I quickly slipped outside the curtain, anxious to get back above ground.

"You ain't going nowhere." I was yanked backwards and span around. Something cold pressed against my skull. Something metal. There were at least seven men, armed with makeshift weapons, waiting for Levi to step out. It seemed the only 'real' weapon was pressed against my head...

From the look of Levi's eyes, it wasn't a water gun.

**AN: * breathes out * PHEW! I've not really checked this for errors... Very eager to upload it!**

**I finished the last of my 20 exams and immediately began typing. As in, that day. It took me a while to finish though, but here ya go! Creativity is flowing again :D Hehe. Oh, and I'm kind of making up my own history for Levi here, mainly because no one knows... Plus I don't want to put spoilers in for those who aren't up to date. If you're not up to date then shame on you;) You're missing out!**

**Thank you for reviewing! I'll reply to a few now:**

**31TwistedShadows: Ooh, a LevixHanji fanfic? I could definitely do one. I ship Levi with practically everyone. I mean, Eren, Hanji, Petra, Mikasa... Levi's a pimp. I'll need to remind myself but yup yup, ideas already coming to mind! ( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑**

**Enerie: I'm kind of torn between wanting to speed everything up to get to the ending, whilst trying to slow down and cram in detail and emotion! I really need to hold myself back sometimes _ Hopefully the plot line I have in mind doesn't go too fast or slow :)**

**Benihime-Linn: JACKPOT IS AMAZING * shamelessly fangirls * KYYAAAAA! What about Rain 30Sexy and Taeyang Eyes, Nose, Lips? Taeyang shirtless for four minutes... * drools on keyboard ***

**I've only replied to a few because I forgot where I got up to last time... :'( But I read all of your reviews and clutch them to my heart like Yato hangs on his mini shrine thing (/^▽^)/**

**Until next time! *･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･* **


	14. FALSE PROSPERITY 2

"Someone gave you a tip off, didn't they?" Levi said, his tone dangerous. "And I'll bet I know who."

"We want your head, Levi." The man behind me hissed. "There's plenty of people who'd pay thousands to see it roll." From the sensation of his figure behind me, the man was tall. I was being squeezed against his chest, with one hand gripping my arm like a talon. Levi's eyes had not left the man behind me.

"Let go of her, bastard!" Eren cried, dashing forward recklessly. Something clicked and he skittered to a halt.

"Brat, step back and let me deal with this." Levi gritted his teeth and I saw his position lower a fraction.

"Don't be rash, Levi." The man said. "It ain't water in this."

"You've gone soft." Another man said. "Leading around a load of kids." I desperately held Levi's eyes, trying to get him to understand the message in them. Unfortunately, he wouldn't let his gaze wander from the man holding me's eyes.

"We'll do a trade." He was speaking again, sending vibrations of his low voice down my back and uncomfortably hot puffs of breath across my neck. I squirmed in his grip.

"Don't move, Lena." Levi snapped. I finally caught his gaze. _Go. Leave me. _

"You let us tie you up right here, right now. Then, we'll let the rest go."

"How can I trust that?"

"What do we want with a bunch of kids?"

"I don't trust you."

"Aint that sad." The man laughed. I viciously kicked backwards as his guard loosened slightly, cursing my arm as a snap of pain ricocheted along it. "Oh hoh," I was caught tighter than a rat in a trap. "She's injured. Is that a broken arm I see?" Suddenly, his grip shifted so that he was holding my broken arm by the wrist. "Do you like pain, girl?"

"Get the hell off me!" I shouted, sounding braver than I felt. He grinned and sharply twisted my arm.

Pain seared through my body, burning like hell's suffocating, torturing flames. I cried out and Levi jolted. It felt like someone was pounding the surface of my skin, using a red hot iron to scorch me right down to my bones. I felt myself go limp in his arms as I moaned quietly.

"What do you think about handing yourself over now?" I looked up and begged Levi with my eyes. I don't know what I was begging him for... My instincts screamed for help, but my head was telling Levi to leave me and run. They had no use for me. They'd probably drop me straight away and run for Levi.

"Go." I mouthed. I saw Levi's throat bob as he swallowed. "They'll run after you." I mouthed again, this time with more conviction in my expression. His eyes wavered for a second, glancing at Eren and the others. It seemed that Connie had managed to slip away while nobody was watching. If Levi abandoned me and ran, there'd be no point in killing me. I would become a useless hostage and a liability to their precious time. They would drop me instantly and chase after him.

Now, I'd not done many lessons in self protection, but there was one thing that I had learned from my trainee days. It was going to be difficult, since I had practised with my more powerful right arm. That was, put simply, out of action right now. If force could be applied perpendicular to the celiac trunk just under the heart, you could hit the solar plexus- a nerve network that could cause abdominal pain and might even go as far as to wind him with my lack of strength. If I could twist out of his grip for a second and wind him, I could grab the gun or at least knock it out of his hand. Then, we'd run for it. I bit my lip, absolutely terrified. At least now I knew what to do. I took a deep breath and prepared, watching Levi's eyes widen. Had he realised I was about to do something completely idiotic? Ahh well, here goes-

It happened so quickly that I hadn't realised that I had succeeded. I had turned in his grip enough to whack him straight above the diaphragm. A mix of shock and pain bent him double whilst I grabbed the gun and ran. I realised a few seconds later that everyone was running with me, but I couldn't hear anything over the pounding of my blood in my ears.

"Don't go after her; get Levi!" The man coughed, erupting back into life. I twisted my head to see the group spin on their heels and chase after Levi, who ran in the opposite direction. Kurt saw my step falter and grabbed my wrist.

"Keep going!" He yelled. "The corporal will be fine!" And who was I to argue? What use would I be? My legs were about to collapse under me with shock. "Keep running!" Kurt repeated. "We'll get to the squad leader."

"I feel sick." I murmured.

"You can throw up when we're above ground, suicidal bastard!" Jean yelled. "You've taken Eren's nickname with that crazy-ass move!"

"Where's Connie?" Kurt asked, worriedly.

"He slipped behind the curtain and managed to get away, lucky bastard." Jean replied, breathing heavily.

"When the corporal said someone had ratted-out his location, do you think it was that guy?"

"Which guy?"

"The one who wouldn't stop smiling?"

"Oh who cares, let heichou get into whatever shit he wants." I felt our pace slow as we checked for the millionth time that no one was following us. "Next time though, I'd appreciate it if he'd keep us out of it."

"He doesn't pass my criteria, Lena." Kurt frowned. "Rich with a good family background."

"You after him?" I grinned, delirious with adrenaline.

"No I meant for you. With that type of history I can't hand you over that easily."

"Guys!" Someone shouted as we reached the final corridor leading out of the underground. I spotted Connie running towards us. He slowed down when she saw us. "I tried to find Hanji but-"

"Levi said he'd meet her back at HQ." I said. Finally, we all slowed to a walk and caught our breath. I realised now that I was shaking. "We should get back and let her know."

"What about Levi?" Connie asked.

"We can't do anything alone. We'll probably get in his way." Kurt said. "For now, we'll head back and let Hanji take over."

"We should go back and help him." Eren clenched a fist, meeting our eyes individually. I looked away.

"Don't be stupid." Jean snorted. "So we can get lost or mugged? Levi's orders were to run if we were in trouble."

"But-"  
>"No, Eren. We'll get Hanji." I sighed.<p>

We left the underground, blinking in the light; gasping in the fresh air. I suddenly felt the gun still in my hand and threw it away quickly in disgust. It clattered down the staircase to the underground and span to a stop. We walked back- well, almost jogged with the speed we were walking. I felt like a criminal and a victim all at the same time, avoiding eye contact with people on the streets and rubbing the hand which had held the gun against my trouser leg over and over.

…

"Hanji!"

"You guys are late! What happened?" Hanji yelled, running towards us as we spotted her in the entrance to HQ.

"We were attacked." I explained. "Levi's still down there. We need to help him."

"What?!" She gasped. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know." I felt my lip wobble as I said it, my chest squeezing. We didn't know if he was safe. We didn't know if he had escaped. I was scared. Hanji calmed herself quickly.

"What about you guys? Are you okay?"

"You need to check out Lena's arm." Kurt said. I frowned at him. "She may have re-injured it."

"I'll check it out myself." Hanji nodded. "Go and rest up. If Levi isn't back by tomorrow morning, we'll go back for him."

"Tomorrow morning?" Eren and I said simultaneously with equal shock.

"We need to go now!" I yelled.

"It'll be dark soon and too dangerous." Hanji shook her head. "Levi lived there most of his life. He'll be fine."

"But squad leader!" I protested.

"Come with me, Lena. I'll check your arm."

"Don't ignore me, please!"

"What would Levi say if I got you injured?" Hanji whispered to me sharply. "If he was here, he'd surely order you to wait until tomorrow morning."

"If he was here, there wouldn't be an issue."

"This is an order, Hertz." Hanji held me tight and stared into my eyes. They were hard and set, but edged with pain. Of course she wouldn't want to leave him. "Stay put until morning."

I can't say I didn't follow orders...

When everyone was asleep at exactly one minute past midnight, I began running back to the entrance to the underground, armed with a knife in my pocket. There was no way I could have slept, imaging Levi under attack. The streets were emptier than they had ever been and mostly pitch black. I was guided by the full moon shining down, which was amazing luck; without it I wouldn't have been able to navigate through the darkness. Occasionally, I tripped on the cobbles. Every now and again I passed someone shadily walking in the darkness. Unable to see their faces, I would feel a jab of fear.

I might take up martial arts.

Eventually, I reached the entrance to the underground and sprinted down the steps before my brain could stop me. And it was horrifyingly dark.

"Is that a girl?" A group of men whispered to each other as I passed.

"She looks like she's from above ground."

"Hey girl, what are you doing in a place like this?"

Just keep walking. Just keep walking.

"Kick him again, just for fun." Another group of people. There were two men and a woman crowding a man on the floor. He was wearing a suit that was torn to shreds, with blood trickling down his face.

"Don't cross us again, shit head."

"He won't live to."

Just keep walking. Slip into the darkness. Walk quickly, but silently.

Someone moaned in the shadows. "I don't want to die, I don't want to die." They whined over and over.

"Mummy?"

"I'll kill them all. Every one of them."

I was shivering, but not because it was cold. An uncontrollable jolt kept racking my frame, tingling my fingers constantly. Sweat trickled from my chin and my chest felt tight.

I wished I could see.

I passed through the darkened corridor into the opening from earlier. Someone was staggering towards the exit, where I had just entered. His hair shaded his face but a crimson streak stood out, painting his face from forehead to chin where it dripped to the floor. His frame was small but strong. The knife in his hand dripped with blood.

"Levi?" The man looked up sharply.

"Lena?"

I took in his figure again. He looked like he had just strode from a battlefield. No, a massacre. His clothes were stained with blood that wasn't his. My heart pounded like horse hooves and blood screamed in my ear. This was Levi? He saw my eyes drift to the knife in his hand and he quickly threw it aside.

"Lena, are you okay?" I couldn't reply. "Lena, don't be scared. It's me." I shouldered the fear and rushed over to support him, folding one arm around his waist and taking his across my shoulders.

"You were staggering. Let me help you."

"Lena, I-"

"You worried me, idiot."

This time, I felt safe walking through the darkness. Sure, people still glared at us through the darkness, but the threat of attack was much lighter now Levi was here. We strode back into the moonlight in silence as I felt his soft breathing next to me.

"Your heart's beating like mad." Levi said, breaking the silence.

"Of course it is. I was scared shit-less in there."

"It's not because of me?" He asked in a tone softer than I'd ever heard.

"You looked like a lost puppy, if you ignore the blood stained clothes." I smirked.

"Brat, why did you come for me at this time? If you'd have waited until morning it would have been much safer." He snapped back into his normal sharpness.

"It is morning. It's nearly one in the morning."

"That's not morning. Is your head just for height?"

"Oi, that's nothing to say to your saviour."

"You haven't done anything! And what was with that stupid, reckless move earlier?"

"I'm a trained professional in reckless moves."

"I had everything under control."

"Control my ass."

"Don't talk like that to your superior. I'll kill you."

"Anyway. How are you going to repay me?"

"For what?" Levi snapped. I grinned.

"You broke the contract. You're touching me."

"I can't believe you."

It might have been the night, but I would have sworn that Levi smiled in that instance.

…

"Here I am telling you to clean off the blood." I huffed. "Why do I feel like we conspired to kill someone? Sneaking about in the dark like that." Levi finished taping up his injuries, which thankfully were only minor, and stood.

"Did you bring my towel?"

"Yeah yeah, now sit while I sort out your head." I pushed him back into his seat and rinsed a cloth in the bucket of water beside us. We were in his room, getting rid of the 'evidence'. Our story was 'Oh no squad leader, I never left my room last night. Corporal Levi escaped all my himself unharmed and here we are. Isn't everything dandy?'...

"I'm going to have a shower anyway." He frowned, causing the blood on his forehead to crack.

"What if someone sees you wandering around covered in blood? We only managed to get in unseen because I was keeping watch." I lowered the cloth onto his forehead and he winced for a brief moment.

"No one's awake at this time."

"Oh hoh, did you already forget our incident earlier, bumping into Erwin?" I hadn't. I had rounded the corner and literally smacked into his chest, quickly exclaiming 'SORRY SIR!' in order to alert Levi who was somewhere behind me. Thankfully, he had managed to hide whilst Erwin walked straight past.

"He just overworks himself." I finished dabbing his forehead and cleaned the cloth in the bucket. "I'm going for a shower." Levi found the towel I had brought and slung it over his shoulder. "You might want to get the blood off _your _hands now."

"Out, damned spot! Out, I say!" I said, scrubbing at my fingernails.

"Huh?"

"Never mind, you didn't get the link." I waved him aside, whispering under my breath- "Uncultured swine." I think he heard me, but chose to ignore me. "Oi, get back here. You're forgetting something." Levi paused with the door ajar. I looked pointedly at the huge streaks of blood running down his white shirt. He sighed and shut the door.

"I'd have finished having a shower by the time you've done fussing." Without warning, he ripped off his shirt - yes, ripped – and opened the wardrobe. I slammed my hands over my face, blushing madly, only to peak through my fingertips at his scars again. I traced them with my eyes, following the labyrinth of red patterns snaking down his torso. "Like what you see, perverted brat?" Levi caught me looking at him. I snapped my fingers closed and turned away.

"Do you even lift?" I remarked, haughtily.

He fell silent, which worried me, until I felt his hands slip under my legs and around my back. He swept me into the air, bridal style and stared into my eyes. "You mean, like this?"

"Oi! That's twice you've broken the contract!"

"So what?"

"I'll spit on you."

"I'll throw you into the air."

"I'll empty that water onto your bed and tell everyone you wet yourself."

"I won't catch you. Ready?"

"For wh-" He switched his grip and lowered me to the floor.

"One," He threw me slightly, so that I left his hands for a fraction of a second. I splayed out my limbs in shock before landing back into his arms. "Two," He threw me again but higher. Was he really not going to catch me?!

"AHH I'M SORRY!" I yelled, protecting my head with my arms. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"

"Too late. Three!" He threw me again and I felt myself leave the safety of his arms. I gritted my teeth to land on the floor, but found my landing much softer. He had thrown me onto the bed.

"Cry baby." Levi snorted, pulling on a fresh shirt and striding out of the room.

Damn, was it hot in here, or was it just Levi? Ah, did I say that?

And anyway, was he just going to leave those stained clothes here? I guess I had better get rid of them.

…

I don't know when or where I had fallen asleep, but I woke up in my own room at around nine.

"Nnng, sausage sandwiches..." I muttered, sitting up.

"Oh so you've finally risen from the dead." What a beautiful voice to wake up to. "Corporal Levi carried you in here like a corps at five this morning."

"Wow speaking of the dead, you look better than usual." I grunted back.

"How did you find your way into his bed then?" Luann sneered, like I had achieved something she hadn't. Oh wait.

"He threw me." I stretched. "It wasn't like that. I was working all night, unlike some."

"What can you do without an arm?"

"It has actually pretty much healed." Well it had until yesterday.

"Great, soon you'll be able to go out on expeditions and die. Then I'll get my bed back."

"I'm going to haunt you if that happens."

"Whatever."

"Lena!" Hanji burst in and I almost fell off the bed. "Did you know that Levi is back?"

"Oh is he?! Thank god!" I feigned. Luann frowned but said nothing.

"He managed to escape in one piece, that slippery bastard."

"I suppose he's used to events like that from his youth."

"Lena, you sound like an old man. Anyway, the others already know. Hurry up and get ready, we're going to share information in the same room as before."

"Got it, squad leader. Thanks." I yawned.

…

We had all gathered, minus Levi, in the same room as before, scattered around the large wooden table. My head lolled forward; I was exhausted.

"What are we going to do today?" Kurt wondered aloud.

"Same thing we do every day, Kurt. Try to take over the world."

"Huh?"

"I swear no one understands my genius." I sighed. Just then, the door swung open and Levi walked it. His gait was so strong, you wouldn't have guessed he'd have staggered back at 1am covered in blood and about to collapse. He pulled a chair out at the head of the table, dropping into it and immediately folding one leg across the other. The room went silent.

"Hanji has filled me in. I'll debrief you on yesterday's events." Levi glanced around the room, caught my eyes and smirked. It was almost unnoticeable. Almost. I fumed in my seat.

"Firstly, shitty-glasses' group travelled to an old acquaintance of hers, using the underground passageways in order to go unseen by the MP. The man, who was close with a government official from central, claimed that security around certain officials had increased and some officials had been using bribes. He could not tell us what bribes, however. Another member of the wall society has gained power in the government, too. It seems they are moving unusually quickly. The head of this organisation is said to have a shady history. Again, we have no details on the specifics. Additionally, it seems information brokers have been asked to sell information about the survey corps.

"Next, my group went to an information broker in the underground. She told us that the MP have inserted spies into the survey corps."

"Spies?" Mutters spread quickly across the room, quickly dampened by Levi's glares.

"It seems that, again, the MP have been after valuable information about us. Also, there has been rumours floating around that Erwin is plotting to open the gates to the walls to threaten the public. They said he'd only close the gates and set his troops out to kill them if the government would listen to his wishes." Hanji whistled.

"That's some nasty gossip."

"So, someone wants to turn the public against the survey corps, specifically Erwin."

"What about the spies?" Jean asked.

"There's only one reason you'd spy on someone. Because you consider them your enemy."

"So the military police want to take down the survey corps?" Eren asked.

"No. Not the military police. Someone in charge of them. A solider just follows orders without looking much into it. It's the government that controls the soldiers."

"Jeez." I sighed. "You'd think one threat to humanity would be enough."

"They underestimate the survey corps." Levi raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, for now I'll fill in Erwin. It goes without saying that this information will not be discussed further than this room. Even amongst yourselves."

"Yes, sir." We chanted with conviction.

"You have the day off, but at least try to make it look like you're being productive. Clean the halls or something."

"Yes, sir." We lied.

**AN: Woop woop for long chapters and quick updates!**

**Two links in this chapter, mainly for humour because I'm pretty sure MacBeth and Pinky and the Brain do not exist in snk world. **

**Yes I have read the Levi spin off. I love it so much; the art it great! And the moment when Levi is asked to be nice and he's just like -.-**

**Yes, there indeed was a reason he killed that guy's family. Stay tuned to find out! Oh and as I was writing a whole new plot line has come to mind and omg I'm so excited to start it. Hint- it involves someone Lena knows. Oooh ooooh~**

**I downloaded the snk game on my phone and got on a killing streak and I have literally been sat there all day killing titans until I got over 1050 and thought maybe I should stop. I think it's a fan-made game but it's really good.**

**Until next time, please review! :D **


	15. THE BEGINNING OF THE COUNTER ATTACK 1

"I'm soooooo bored~" Kurt moaned, rolling in the grass lazily.

"Go clean the halls then." I joked, prodding his exposed stomach where his top had rode up. We had found a quiet spot in a field near the woods where people practised 3DMG training. It was cloudy and so not the best weather to be sunbathing; nevertheless, we were laid on the grass looking up at the lack of sunlight.

"Guthrie's in the gym again." Kurt sighed. "He's getting obsessed."

"You need to join him, looking at your flimsy biceps." I rolled onto my side to face him.

"I haven't got anyone to impress." Kurt half-shrugged. "Guthrie wants big biceps to please one particular lady."

"Lady? Can't be me then."

"Half-woman."

"Too far." I flicked his nose.

"I wonder how Levi escaped that day." Kurt mused. I jolted as a flashing red image lit up in the back of my mind- Levi covered in blood with a knife dripping in his hand, eyes downcast and darkened...

"He probably ran quickly. He seemed to know his way around there."

"What about that knife he slipped into his boot? I know you saw it too."

"You know he wouldn't use that. He's humanity's greatest soldier."

"I sometimes forget that. He acts like humanity's greatest arse-hole."

"Oi," I laughed. "Don't talk like that about your superiors."

"You can't talk." Kurt sniffed. "Levi, Levi~!" He put on a feminine tone and pouted. "Levi, I love you!~"

"Get lost." I jabbed him in the stomach. "I sometimes call him heichou."

"The repulsive thing is, he doesn't mind." Kurt pulled a face. "If I were a rank, you'd have your head stuffed down the toilet if you didn't call me by it."

"If you were a rank, I'd laugh at you."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because if anyone shouted at you for doing something wrong, you'd just cry in a corner."

"Ranks don't get shouted at."

"They do. More so than cadets. They have a responsibility!"

"Responsibility my left bum cheek." Kurt sniffed. "They sit in their rooms all day and command people about."

"What? Levi doesn't?!"

"Because he's a sadist and likes seeing people in pain. You better watch it Lena, I bet he's the type to tie you up and-"

"STOP!" I yelled, covering my ears. "Leave my purity alone!" He said something else, smiling, but I couldn't hear because my fingers were securely in my ear.

"-way, let's find something to do." I heard as I unplugged my ears.

"Today is passing really slowly." I sighed, standing. As I stood, I spotted someone waving at me from across the field, hearing the clank of his 3DMG.

"Lena!"

"Stein!" I smiled.

"You busy? I've got a job for you!"

"Problem solved?" I grinned at Kurt.

…

"I spotted you two lounging around and thought I'd give you something to do." Stein ran a hand through his hair, walking us over to HQ. "Down in the basement near Eren's room, there's a place full of chemicals that Hanji often uses as storage. First aid have run out of antiseptic. If you find the key and unlock the door, bring the antiseptic up to the first aid room and I'll reward you." He winked jokingly.

"Reward?" I grinned.

"I'll give you my squad leader dessert. I think it's chocolate cake tonight."

"Waaa~!"

"What about me?" Kurt pouted.

"Well, Levi doesn't like sweet things so if I bribe the cook, you can have his."

"Where's the key then?" Kurt asked excitedly as I dreamed of chocolate cake. I had never had it before and I could already taste the apprehensive saliva gathering in my mouth.

"Hanji probably has it." Stein waved us away as we reached the corridor where Hanji's room was.

We knocked once. Then twice. Then heard a bang and, regretfully, opened the door. "Hanji?" I said into the room, glancing through the smoke that began to billow out of the door. We stepped cautiously inside as the smoke began to settle, filtering out through the door and open window. I coughed as some caught in the back of my throat- it had a nasty taste to it. This wasn't fire smoke at all.

"S'that you, Lena?" Hanji called, appearing at her desk whilst wiping her glasses.

"It's me and Kurt. Have you got the key for the chemical chamber?"

"Ah, yes." Hanji smiled, finally putting on her glasses so she could see us. "I've just been down there so it should be unlocked still."

"Oh, great." I nodded, preparing to leave.

"Can you take the key and lock it on your way out?" Hanji asked, throwing the glittering key across to us. I swiftly -and proudly- caught it with one hand. "Also, I checked out your medical report. In about two weeks your arm will probably be healed enough for physio."

"I thought so. I can move it quite a bit already."

"You'll probably be out on the next expedition."

"Ah... y-yes, probably." I gulped. I most definitely hadn't thought of that. Before, I hadn't considered my injury to be a benefit to me... but it could have saved my life. We lost many, many soldiers on the last expedition. Usually, there's a good few months until the next expedition, so I should be safe. I was so glad that I hadn't been on the last expedition- sickeningly glad. I was so glad that those soldiers had died instead of me. But luck can't last forever.

…

LEVI-

**Two Hours Later**

"Heichou!" I spotted Stein running towards me. The sweat on his forehead and pale pallor indicated he was worried about something. A flood of scenarios raced through my mind before I could lock them away. If there were titans, surely there would be more panicking? Though, as a corporal, I am usually the first to know. He seemed pretty damn calm if it were titans...

"What is it?" I snapped. When humans are stressed, they often have a bad habit of making no sense. Their words rush out and they spend more time wailing than communicating. I didn't need that if there was an emergency.

"We can't find Lena and Kurt." Stein stopped in front of me. Wiping his brow. "I've ran round this whole damn place." Ah, that explains the pallor.

"Where were they last?"

"I sent them to the chemical room to bring more antiseptic to the first aid room."

"Have you checked both places?"

"The first aiders say no one has come. The chemical room is locked and Hanji said she told them to lock it. The key should probably be with them."

"Couldn't they have not been to the chemical room?"

"They were in for sure as Hanji left it open and they have the only key."

"Did you check inside?"

"No. Erwin has the spare key but we can't find him."

"I'll get it." I huffed. "Seriously. So now I baby-sit brats?"

It didn't take long to find the spare key in Erwin's desk drawer. Stein had continued his search elsewhere as I descended down the steps to the chemical room. Surely they hadn't locked themselves in? What could have happened?

"Pair of idiots." I scoffed, sliding the key into the lock and hearing the mechanism jolt open. "Lena, you brat." I called, noticing the torches were lit. Maybe they had locked themselves in. Suddenly, I spotted blood on the floor. My eyes widened and followed the trail of splatters. I dropped back behind the wall to conceal my torso, peering inside. The blood spatters were that of arteries or large wounds. I could tell from the sharp, long angle to them. Pools of blood also dotted the floor, leaking into each other. I dashed inside quickly, turning the corner of stacked chemicals on shelves to see both Kurt and Lena collapsed onto the floor, completely unconscious and haloed by scarlet droplets...

"No," I whispered, dropping to her side. "No, no, no." Shaking her shoulders, my heart quickened when there was no response. "The military police?" My mind whirred.

What happened here?

…

LENA-

**EARLIER**

"Is this it?" Kurt held up a murky bottle.

"From the symbol of highly corrosive acid, I'm guessing not." I snorted. "This would be so much easier if Levi had sorted these instead of Hanji. They'd be in categories, sorted alphabetically with sell by dates on." I picked up another bottle and grimaced. "There wouldn't be leaking bottles left either." I wiped the gooey mess onto the wooden shelf.

"Hey isn't this our training blood?" Kurt excitedly waved a bottle.

"Huh?"

"This is what they used when we had a bit of first aid training. Fake blood."

"Oh yeah. When Luann fainted?" I chuckled eerily at the memory. We had all stolen a bottle of the stuff and coated ourselves in it. It was pretty realistic on first sight, but after you realised there were no wounds, it was a dead give away. Anyway, we laid out on the floor in her room waiting for her... Needless to say, her reaction was perfect.

"Shall we trick Guthrie? Coat ourselves in blood?"

"Yeah! Give me some!" I scuttled over and took the bottle in one hand. With a jolt, I gasped as it slipped through my gooey hands and I failed to re-catch it. SMASH.

"You are kidding me." Kurt sighed. We looked like we had escaped a massacre. The blood had smashed everywhere and coated our white trousers thoroughly. The floor was splattered with blood. I sighed and began to pick up the shards of glass, casting them into the bin in the corner of the room. "This is your fault." Kurt pouted at me as he wiped the blood from his hands on his already ruined trousers.

"Don't pass a bottle to a girl with one hand." I shrugged. "Anyway, with the size of your hands you should have caught it." I teased.

"I don't have big hands, small feet."

"They're like spades. You look like a girl with that hair too."

"Well your face looks like a man's."

"More manly than yours then?" I grunted, splashing blood onto his face. He blinked in shock.

"Oi!" He flicked fake blood back at me.

"Hey!" Crawling after him with a dripping red hand, Kurt laughed and scuttled away on his hands and feet. As I swiped at him, he dodged and hit his head onto a cupboard. A bottle above us wobbled precariously, before toppling to the floor and smashing.

"Crap!" Kurt chewed his lip. I reached for another bottle of blood and tore off the lid.

"That one was your fault!" I laughed, spilling some blood onto his chest before he realised. When he did, he yelled and dived for me. In surprise, I spilled more blood onto myself but at this point, I didn't care. I was having fun- like a water fight but messier.

We stood, panting and laughing as blood dripped from us like water. I lifted my head to see Kurt smiling at me. We looked like complete idiots... sadistic idiots. My vision blurred and I frowned. As I squinted, I saw Kurt trip like he was drunk.

"Lena..." He murmured, looking pale. "What was... in zat bottl...?"

"The one... yooou smashed?" I heard my own words merge into one as the dizziness numbed my brain. I swayed on my feet and felt my stomach lurch. Kurt fell to the floor seconds before I felt myself drop.

…

LEVI-

**PRESENT**

We had almost figured out the entire episode with Lena and Kurt as they slept peacefully. I was prepared to kill them both. I sat in Lena's room beside her bed, waiting for her to wake up. Those two were never going to be sent on errands again... they were also going to clean this place from ground floor to top floor without a break.

It had taken me at least ten seconds to realise that the blood was fake. I noticed there were no wounds, listening to their soft breathing. Hanji soon came down and explained that it was fake blood used for training cadets in first aid treatment. She then noticed the smashed bottle across the room, examining the label.

"Ah... This is a nasty chemical. It's on the wrong shelf... It should be locked away in the gas ventilator because if it leaks, it can knock you unconscious."

"Hanji." I fumed in annoyance as the pieces clicked together. "I want this room sorting into categories, separating the dangerous from the medical chemicals. Then, I want them in alphabetical order with labels clearly stating the chemical, it's use and whether it's corrosive or not."

"It already says it." Hanji pouted, showing me a bottle which had a label reading 'CHCl3'.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Trichloromethane."

"Hah?"

"Chloroform."

"And how is that supposed to tell me whether it's dangerous or not?"

"Well, it's chloroform." Hanji shrugged like it was simple. "We used to use it as an anaesthetic until we found out it might be toxic. Now it's only used for murders and rapes."

I wanted to scream 'what the hell is it doing in here then?' but refrained from doing so. I might be needing some tri-chloro-shite in the future.

Lena stirred in her bed and smiled to herself as she rolled over to face me. "What are you smiling about, brat?" I prodded her cheek. "Do you know how much trouble you caused us?" I jabbed her again, but she was still out cold. "Oh how vulnerable you are now." I smirked, still talking to myself. I pulled on her cheek so that her face widened, before releasing it. Her skin bounced back like elastic. My hand found it's way into her hair, like it always did. I was fascinated with it. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her whilst knotting my hand into her locks. Her exposed neck and collar bone sent me crazy as I traced my fingers down it. Lena moaned in her sleep and I jolted.

"Shit." I muttered, looking away. I felt my cheeks heat up slightly, before I coughed myself back to normal. She continued to sleep softly, her hair falling into her eyes as she twisted slightly. I tucked it back and turned to face her again. Tentatively, I let my fingers crawl across her collar bone once more, smirking as she squirmed. I tried a pressure point in her shoulder too, perhaps enjoying it too much when she unconsciously responded to my touch.

"Can't touch you until I confess, huh?" I smirked as she frowned, rolling away from me. I gently pulled her back and leaned closer, whispering in her ear. "I give in, you stubborn brat." My warm breath reflected from her ear and she murmured again, flinching away from me. I lifted her hair as the torch light cast shadows across her face. "I love you." Tilting her chin upwards, I kissed her softly, only just touching her soft lips. The fire inside of me yearned for more, but I drew away and left. I'd return to bully her when she woke up. Right now, she was out like a light.

Chloroform, huh?

…

**LENA-**

I felt like someone had churned my insides in a blender and then rearranged them back into my stomach when I woke up. The effects were wearing off slowly, but it would take a while for me to feel 100 percent again. According to Hanji, Levi was seething with rage so whenever I heard footsteps at my door, I would squeeze my eyes shut and pretend to sleep. He came in twice and I listened to his almost silent breathing, trying my best not to move my eyes beneath their lids. The second time, he scoffed- "Irritating brat." before leaving again. Looks like I'd be avoiding him for a while.

**PREVIEW:**

The next morning…

"What? Transferring?!" I gasped. Levi gave me a glare that said, 'keep quiet, brat', before continuing to brief Stein over breakfast.

"There are five of them transferring into Scouting Legion under the report of 'misconduct'. Erwin has a rule that anyone who has passed training may join the legion, and the Police have stated that these individuals have broken the laws of conduct that the police must follow, so they have been discharged from police service."

"Basically, they're spies." Stein spat. "The police have sent five of their men to gather intel, pretending that they're 'naughty boys'."

"We can't be certain on that." Levi said.

"But the MP come from the top ten!" I began shouting, lowing my voice on the final words after Levi shot me a look. "The hardest working soldiers aren't going to break the rules, risking their position in central safety." The breakfast hall was teeming with people, so the chatter of others was covering our important discussion. Levi told us to act like we were discussing something like 'how pretty the fucking clouds are', but I was struggling to contain my dismay.

"In any case, myself and Erwin have allowed it."  
>"What?!" I banged my fists onto the table.<p>

"Lena. You're only hearing this because for the next ten days, you're my slave." Levi growled, covering his expression to others through a swift hair ruffle. Which, by the way, was as hot as-

"What's your reasoning?" Stein asked. Levi casually sipped his tea, pulling a look of disgust and putting the cup back onto the table.  
>"Cold." He grunted. "We know who they are, so their movements are restricted. We can also feed them any information we like."<p>

"Ahh, I see."

"If we turned these away, they'd send someone else. And there's no guarantee we'd identify them."

"But don't the police know we'd suspect them?"

"I'm certain they know we do." Levi nodded, like I had finally said something remotely intelligent. "There must be something else to it."

"... And that's what we need to figure out?" Stein asked.

"Exactly. How are they so confident that these spies will get the information? Are they even spies? Is this a trap? A distraction?" Levi tapped his finger across the table, marking each question with a strike of his nail.

"Why am I here then?" I asked.

"You're a girl." Levi shrugged.

"Huh?"

"We need someone to get close to them. As you're injured, we can train you and them together. We can't drop them straight into the deep end- we need to asses their strength. Or, so our excuse will go."

"But you said it's because I'm a girl?"

"Men tend to be less suspecting of women. They let their guard down." Stein winked at me.

"You want me to flirt?" I scowled. Levi also surprised me by scowling.

"No." He said, firmly. "Just watch them. Don't ever be alone with them, either."

"They won't do anything. That'll show their true colours."

"DON'T. BE. ALONE. WITH. THEM. Do you understand?" Levi ground his teeth, irritated.

"Yessir!" I mock saluted. Levi's eyebrow twitched. He sighed deeply. "So when do they come?"

"They're already here."

…

**AN-**

I am so very very sorry for the length. I am also so very very sorry for the wait but I've been here, there and everywhere basically. It's the English holidays and I have eight weeks off or something stupid. Three are taken up by a course, two by a camp and two by holidays with friends. So far I've slept in my own bed like twice. But anyway, I'm nearly at the good bit! This was a little bit of a filler because if it was drama, drama, drama there would be no tension. It was meant to be a bit amusing and a bit fluffy to strengthen the bond between my pairing … how do I write it? Levena? Leri? Rivena?

Anyway. Hope you enjoyed, especially the preview to what is coming next in this plot! I should start regularly updating again soon; yehet!

.370: I do quote a lot of stuff in my stories, but I didn't mean to quote toy story haha. I don't think I've ever watched it all the way through :L

Q-asta: I love writing the Luann and Lena moments haha, brings out my inner bitch. There is also a reason why Lena doesn't like horses. I just haven't revealed that bit yet :)

MidMorningSong: ahh that's such a cute review! :D I'm glad that you find my story funny because I try, but I feel like sometimes I'm the only one who gets my own jokes :L


	16. THE BEGINNING OF THE COUNTER ATTACK 2

My instructions were to lounge around for the rest of the day. Erwin was talking to the 'new recruits' during the morning, then in the afternoon I'd be introduced to them 'casually' by Levi. Today was the first time I had not enjoyed my free time. It had only been a matter of minutes, but I was agitated and impatient... and also nervous. What would these guys be like? After all, they might just be new recruits. "Innocent until proven guilty" was the law; "Guilty until proven innocent" was the way my mind was working recently.

"You look like a dead lizard." A voice woke me form my thoughts. Indeed, I probably did. I had found a warm rock in the sunlight and was currently sprawled face up across it. The rock was at a slant on the hill and my feet were pointing to the sky. I could feel the blood slowly dripping to my head. A shadow fell across my face.

"Wow, you ranks really do have too much free time."

"Are you confident in what you're doing this afternoon?" Levi ignored me.

"Yeah, yeah." I lied. "Hello, I'm Lena. I've broken my arm falling off a horse. I'll be training with you, yoroshiku-onegaishimasu and all that crap."

"Hello, I'm a brat and I don't listen to instructions so I fall off horses, buildings and rocks all the time."

"Rocks?"

"Watch that foot." As he said it, Levi swept his foot across into my side and I was thrown across the rock onto the hill with a thud.

"Oi!"

" I told you to watch it." He smirked. I grunted and rolled onto my front so I could finally see him. He was fully kitted up in his 3DMG which clanked as he stepped out of the way when I attempted to grab his legs to trip him up.

"Hello, I'm Levi and I'm an arse-hole." I faked a deep grunting voice, adding a few swear words under my breath.

"Hello, I'm Lena and I like to hide behind cupboards in heichou's room." Just as my face had settled to it's normal colour, a red streak flashed into my cheeks.

"Hello, I'm Levi-" As I rushed quickly into another insult, Levi planted his foot on my mouth.

"Okay, okay, brat. Stop being stubborn and admit you've lost."

"Ha, ha, ha!" I stood up, grinning. "You made a huge mistake starting a fight with me!" I grabbed his tie-thing and roughly pulled him towards me, smacking my lips onto his. He was too startled to react until I pulled away. I wiped my lips free of the mud from his boot.

"Tch!" he spat, furiously rubbing at his mouth. "That was a dirty move, brat!"

"Literally."

"Ack!" He spat again, turning his back to me to scrub his face. "I was just at the stables!" My face paled.

"ACK!" I spat, scrubbing my own lips. "You're horrid!"

Around five minutes later, we had both stopped spluttering and were sat side-by-side on the rock (doki-doki).

"Lena." Levi began, his tone serious. "Are you sure you know what you're doing this afternoon?"

"No." I shrugged. "I'm going to make it up as I go along."

"Lena-"

"Then it'll be natural, right? I've just got to make friends with them... or at least, be able to talk to them."

"It's just..."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were worried about me." I jabbed his cheek, teasingly.

"Worried about you fucking up." Levi retorted, almost instantly, simultaneously glaring at my hand like he would be able to halt it's movements through sheer will-power. Instead, it just ended up with me prodding his nose as he moved his head.

"Hey, at least trust me a little."

"Not even one percent."

"Oi! So rude!"

"You can't even fetch some antiseptic without causing an incident."

"You really don't let things go, do you." I pouted. He snorted and looked away. "Let it go," I whispered. "Let it go!... Don't hold it back any more."

"What the hell?" He grunted at my singing.  
>"I don't know. I feel like I have extraordinary powers to see into another dimension. Songs and stuff just pop into my head now and again."<p>

"Extra-fucking-ordinary indeed."

"You're extra-fucking-tight today." I mused. "What's bothering you?" Levi half-sighed, pausing to think. Eventually, he decided to speak his mind.

"... The surname in the recruits-"

"Levi!" Someone shouted over Levi's voice. He stopped and looked up. "The commander is calling for you!" Levi chewed his lip- something I'd never seen him do before- and then sighed.

"We'll talk later." I frowned, puzzled, as he stood up and strolled after the messenger.

"He sighed AND bit his lip..." I muttered. "Something's bothering him that can't be solved with violence."

…

"I'm here to fit you with the latest technology." Hanji placed a briefcase onto the table in front of my food. She opened it dramatically, withdrawing what appeared to be a pencil. At that moment, I thanked the stars that I had chosen to eat when everyone had left the food hall. "This 'pencil' is the Earthquake G17. Snap it in half and the internal components react with oxygen to produce a grenade which will wipe out anything within five metres after a three second gap." I spluttered in protest as she dropped it in front of me.

"Huh?!" I flinched as it rolled towards me.

"I'm equipping you for spying!" Hanji grinned and pulled out the next object. It was a tattered old notebook. "Whoever's name is written in this notebook shall die."

"REALLY?!"

"No. And that's just a pencil, too."

"Hah?"

"You're so gullible. Do you think I'd trust you with my Earthquake G17?"

"So you've made one?"

"I might do in the future." Hanji took the pencil and notebook back, opening it and beginning to scrawl across the pages.

"What's with the briefcase?" I asked.

"Don't touch it. It's lined with poison."

"No it's not."

"No," Hanji agreed. "It isn't. I wanted to see how far I could take this."

"What is it for then?"

"Would you believe me if I said it's for deflecting bullets?"

"No."

"Too bad." Hanji shrugged. "Watch that foot."

"Oh, ha ha-AAH!" All of a sudden, my chair disappeared from under me.

"Great timing, Levi." Hanji nodded, impressed.

"WHAT AM I?!" I yelled in frustration, seeing Levi towering over me with a satisfied smirk. "Some toy you can all throw around?!"

"I did warn you." Hanji added, as if that would stop the accusations towards her.

"How was I supposed to know what was going to happen?" I huffed.

"Next time, I'll give you coordinates."

After I had scuttled back into my seat and Levi had pulled up a chair next to Hanji opposite me, Levi's humour vanished again. "They'll be here in two minutes. I told them I'd introduce them to you."

"What were you going to say earlier?" I asked, remembering he had mentioned a surname. There was another pause, which was irritating, before he decided against telling me. Which was even more irritating.

"It's too late now. I'll get my answer in two minutes."

"Oh come oooon~" I begged, now intrigued. I heard the huge wooden doors creak open and five sets of footsteps echoed across to us. I turned, preparing to smile...

But the smile dropped from my face in an instant.

"Luca?"

"Lena?!"

"_Lena! Come ere'." My brother waved me over as he squatted over a patch of worn-out grass in our yard. "Look at this." I tottered to him in my new shoes, which were too big for me and kept falling off._

"_What is it, oniisan?"_

"_A snake." My eyes widened with glee as he pointed to something that at first glance, appeared to be a length of rope on the floor. It came to life and began lazily squirming across the grass. _

"_It's so cute!" I grinned, leaning over to prod it. Luca stopped me._

"_I wouldn't call it cute." Luca laughed. "If dad finds it, he'll chuck it into the oven."_

"_You can't kill it!"_

"_We kill chickens and pigs all the time." Luca teased as a look of horror dawned on my face._

"_But we eat them!" I protested._

"_You can eat snake." Luca licked his lips. "Mmm, tastes like chicken." I was puzzled. It felt right to eat chickens, but then eating snakes was..._

"_Are you going to kill it, oniisan?" I asked, bottom lip wobbling._

"_If Lena likes it, then I won't kill it." Luca said, smiling like he always did. It was a golden, kind-hearted, warm smile. He didn't smile enough to show teeth- unlike me- but just his little smiles were precious to me._

_He was so precious to me._

The chair under me fell back as I got up quickly. Light brown, wavy hair that fell over one side of his forehead... It had grown since I had last seen it, but it was unmistakably Luca's hair. Soft, brown eyes that could melt diamond, looking directly at me. And his smile... that small, gentle smile.

"LUCA!" My heart raced like it was panicking- maybe I was panicking. I didn't feel relieved like I should, but scared. Terrified. He was alive, as I had always believed... But why here?

Why now?

Why was he with this group of people?

They were supposed to be spies, weren't they?

I hid myself within his arms, my breath hitching despite no tears falling from my eyes. I squeezed him tight and when he squeezed back, it only made the situation less real.

"How've you bin, Lena?" Luca softly whispered into my ear, his strong accent still apparent after all this time. I tried to reply, 'fine', which was the most boring reply ever after a 5 year long separation, but my voice wouldn't come out. It felt like I was hugging a ghost. Luca tried to pull away gently, but I held on tighter. He laughed. "Come on, let me see your face." Grudgingly, I pulled back and he smiled down at me.

"You've gotten smaller." I folded my arms across my chest childishly, knowing that I had grown.

"And you've gotten prettier." I beamed as he complimented me. "You've no longer got a flat face."

"Hey." I protested.

"Lena, do you know these people?" Luca was the first to be courteous to our audience. I stepped away from my brother and smiled at Levi.

I don't know what expression I was expecting him to have, but the one on his face was definitely not it. I couldn't read his mind -which wasn't really new- but this was different. He was extremely hostile; every inch of him leaked threats though his mouth was tightly shut. And then, as he met my eyes, he looked... as though he felt pity for me. Eyes full of pity, mixed with pain and anger.

He didn't really suspect my brother to be a spy, did he?!

I was furious inside, though I knew he had every right to suspect him. My brother was honest and gentle. With his intelligence, he could definitely be a spy. Yet, Levi suspected him of going against his nation, his morals and his little sister?! Irritation forced me to look away from him before I started glaring.

"Ah, yeah." I nodded. "That's Levi heichou, and that's Squad Leader Hanji."

"You two already seem to be acquainted," Levi noted sarcastically, "But the rest of you don't know Lena." The four people stood behind my brother listened as Levi introduced me. "She broke her arm so hasn't been in service for a while. You will be in a group with her whilst you briefly take some aptitude tests and increase your fitness again. I doubt you'll have had the need to do fitness in central."

"That second part wasn't necessary." I grumbled.

"Then, I'll introduce our group." Luca said. He gestured to each of them in turn.

"This is Otto;" Luca pointed to the tallest member of the group with ruffled blonde hair and a chin lined with stubble. "this is Sieglinde, but we call him Sigi;" Sigi was lanky and weedy looking, with long brown hair that was tied in a low pony-tail. "this is Wulf;" This guy was short, but with an impressive face. By that, I mean he was handsome... the problem was, I had a terribly overwhelming feeling that he knew it, which made him a hundred times less so. Levi had competition though: a short, black haired guy with attitude.

"Finally, she's Alexis." All of a sudden, I realised that the person Luca had just pointed to was, indeed, female. I hadn't realised there was a female until now. She had cropped brown hair, boy-short, with her fringe stood rigid to attention. Only her incredibly beautiful eyes gave away any indication that she was female; she was dressed like a man, had a man's hair cut and even stood like a man. But her eyes... they were truly gorgeous! One was split between blue and brown at a slant, whilst her eyelashes were ridiculously thick and long. Her other eye was the same deep brown almost black colour.

"I'm Lena Hertz. Luca is my brother." I smiled warmly, but grimaced when Wulfy-boy gave me a quick once over, deliberately whilst I made eye-contact.

"Are we done with circle-time?" Levi huffed. The silence that followed gave him his answer. "Then I have work to do. Lena, show them around."

"Yes corporal." I said, showing formalities for the first time since I had met Levi. He swiftly left.

"Wow," Luca commented as soon as Levi had gone. "I'd heard he was a difficult one, but he..."

"Is a complete arsehole." Alexis snorted in disgust.

"He's not that bad, really." I started. All eyes turned on me. "He really cares for his squad members. Surprisingly, he has a lot of soft spots."

"So, you know him quite personally then?" Wulf asked. I felt like I was being interrogated. I gulped, searching for Hanji. She had left just after Levi.

"I've seen him a lot since I've had nothing to do. Plus Levi was in charge of our group for a while whilst they were promoting new squad leaders."

"What type of soft spots does he have?" Alexis tried to ask casually. She realised how unnatural she sounded and quickly recovered. "He seems like ice. I can't imagine him having weaknesses." Something in the back of my mind was warning me to be careful about the information I revealed. This was my brother though; he was definitely not a spy.

Definitely.

"You'll learn just how much of a clean-freak he is. Then, there's his loyalty to his squad, like I said... what else.." I mumbled, thinking of more weaknesses. I was finding myself enjoying talking about Levi. I felt like I was the only one who got to see his weak side, and I wanted to brag about it.

_Levi was silent as we descended to the floor of his room. I reached his door and opened it, following him inside as he collapsed onto his bed._

_He laid, splayed out, sweating slightly with his arms above his head and one leg dangling from the bed. I walked over to him and tugged at his tie-thing to remove it. One of his hands lazily reached up and stopped me. I blushed heavily._

"_No!" I shook my head quickly. "I wasn't going to-"_

"_No..." he mumbled. "There's scars... I don't want to see them." I frowned, placing his hand back on the bed and untying his tie while he moaned in annoyance. I opened his top buttons awkwardly with one hand to allow air to his chest... and saw them. _

_I'd seen the smaller scars before- ones on his arms and legs and shoulders... But he always wore his shirts buttoned up to hide the largest ones criss-crossing his chest. They were deep and I winced just thinking about them._

"_Button it up." He said. I just ignored him and yanked the blanket from under him. Then, I laid it over him and opened a window. "No. The papers, brat..." he mumbled again._

"_Stop complaining, jeez!" I huffed, closing the window once more. "Will you be okay on your own?" I asked._

"_What if I said no?"_

"_Then I'm leaving anyway."_

"_Brat." He grunted as I tucked the sheets in like a child and leaned over him._

In contrast to that side of him, everyone else witnessed the whole, 'I'll-kill-you-brat', 'Fuck-off-I-don't-want-to-hear-your-shit' and 'You'll-learn-how-strong-the-walls-really-are-when-I-smack-your-head-into-one-for-treading-mud-into-my-room' side to Levi.

"Just stay clean and do what he says and you'll find that Levi's outer self isn't as solid as it seems." I smiled in the end.

"What about Hanji?" Luca enquired.

"If she talks to you about experiments or titans, make your escape as soon as possible. Do not try to seem politely interested. Also, she likes to meddle in stuff. But again, she's completely dedicated to the legion."

"Hmm." Alexis turned her nose up slightly.

"Then, I'll show you the gym?" I asked, politely.

**LEVI-**

If these people were spies, then the reason they were so indiscreet about it is because of Lena. They think that Luca will be able to get her to open up about the legion. She's a perfect information source; pure and trusting.

Fuck, I hope they aren't spies.

I trust Lena to be weary about what information she reveals, and we can still censor the information she learns as a back up... but fuck, I hope to whatever god is up there, however lousy (s)he is for creating this hell, that they aren't spies. Because then, at some point, Lena will have to learn that her brother has betrayed her; used her; thrown her away. However the big reveal will occur, it won't be peaceful. It won't be a simple, by the way, your brother is a betrayer. No organisation is going to let their only source of information be revealed and live to tell the tale. She'll be in the middle of the cross-fire; the prime target for both sides of the coin.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

On the other end of the stick, if the military police are starting to use the scouting legion as a punishment for those who don't follow orders, being a soldier won't be a dutiful, honourable thing. It will be a community service, humiliation. We can't allow them to sack off their unwanted members to us, even if we desperately need the members.

I had a lot to think about. I needed to talk with Lena- get her to open up about her past with her brother so I'd know what's he's like. But then, she'll see him through rose tinted glass. It has been years since she has seen him. People change. Trauma can twist people. People can twist people.

A thought bubbled into my head. If I could talk to Luann about what Lena has said about her brother in the past, I might find out a different point of view. She is also not likely to go running back to Lena about our conversation, unlike Guthrie. It wouldn't be difficult to get her to talk either...

Thinking this, I began to clank my way outside. When the training tree line came into view, I began to soar through the air searching for Luann. As far as I knew, most groups were completing manoeuvre training today.

My whole body was jolted forward as I fired off another piston, before being dragged through the air in an arc. People often described manoeuvre gear as graceful; that was false. It was a powerful beast strung to your hip- a machine ready to rip you to shreds without mercy if you let your guard down for even a second. I was slung again through the trees, narrowly dodging branches protruding into my path. The wind carried the clanks of other manoeuvre gear nearby and I headed towards them, spotting flashes of white trousers streak through the trees.

Suddenly, the sound of another piston was fired close by. With a start, I saw the blade speeding like a bullet towards me. I didn't have time to fire off a piston to escape, barely shifting my body in the air in time. There was a loud bang as the blade struck my 3DMG gas tubing, before the recoil of the blade threw me towards whoever had fired the piston. Wires were coiled, gas hissing and I fell in a tangle of skin and wire to the floor. Quickly, I grabbed the person who had collided with me and fired my working piston towards a tree. It stuck, but with the weight of two bodies, ripped out once more. We hit the floor with less of an impact, the person sprawled on top of me with my hand pressed into their back. I grunted in pain- whoever it was owed me for cushioning their damn fall.

My hand moved up their back and felt a wire under their shirt. A very feminine moan followed as the person tried to sit up. Oh shit.

It was then that I realised the very person I was looking for had her boobs pressed against my chest, legs straddled across my hips and my hand had just felt her bra strap. With this realisation, I sat up sharply, only to find out that all the wires from our 3DMG was tangled.

"Tch," I grunted.

"Heichou? Oh god I'm so sorry!" Luann pulled backwards, which tightened the wire wrapped from her blade to my leg. I felt the wire dig into my skin and used my hand to hold her down again.

"We're tangled. Stay down a minute." I saw her face blush with embarrassment- of course it would. We were in a very compromising position right now. I tried my best not to touch anywhere inappropriate as I unwound the mess of wires. I managed to free one blade and she sat up to detach her 3DMG from one hip. With two of us now working on it, it was a simple game of twister to get out of the mess she had caused. I finally looked into her eyes, only to notice her pale pallor. Upon closer inspection, there was a streak of blood in her hairline. Maybe I hadn't been the one to get the impact. We were both freed and she attempted to stand, but tottered side ways. I caught her by the shoulder before she fell.

"You look like shit. Did you hit your head?"

"As I was in the air... another person collided with me and I hit my head on a tree. I tried to fire off a piston to keep going and get out of the way but I ended up hitting something else... and..."

"All right, all right. Give me your 3DMG." Without questioning me, she took off her gear which I swapped for my broken gear. After I had geared up, I lifted her before she could argue onto my back and told her to hold on. After a pause, she did. Clearly, she was too light-headed to do much talking. I spotted someone come gliding past and told them to let their squad leader know I was taking her to the first aid room.

When we got there, I waited as a nurse cleaned up the blood and applied a bandage. Luckily, it was only mild concussion and she'd be fine. I gestured for the nurse to leave us and began.

"I was looking for you." She frowned. Great stalker-ish start there, Levi. "I need a private talk. One you can't repeat to anyone." Yep, that made it so much better. "Do you swear?"

"What's this about?" God, she was just as stubborn as Lena.

"Just say yes corporal and let me ask you a few questions." She pursed her lips, so I began anyway. Damn women. "Lena's brother has entered the scouting legion. I want to know everything you know about him."

"Spy?" She raised an eyebrow. It had said in her report that she was a fast thinker, but that was surprising.

"Or not." I shrugged. "You get the idea though." She nodded without further interrogating me. I could imagine this conversation with Lena: "Why? Who's spying on who? What for? Why are you asking me?"...

"We're not close, but in the beginning we used to talk a bit. Often, my group of friends hung around with hers so we'd find out different pieces of information. Also, my parents would tell me things they had heard from others. As far as I know, they grew up on a farm together- Lena, her younger sister, her older brother and her parents. Her brother was apparently really close to their dad- you could tell they were father and son. Her father handled the animals and sold meat; her mother handled the vegetable side of the business. She really respected her brother and used to copy what he wore and attempted to copy how he spoke..." Luann looked up and left as she remembered more. "He joined the MP just before the wall was breeched. He had always wanted to change the way our system worked to make it fairer. He was gently spoken with a strong accent, similar to his dad's. He wasn't known to raise his voice or lose his temper, unlike the sister." Luann tilted her head to one side, prying into her mind for more.

"What happened to them all?" I probed for more information.

"Like I said, her brother joined the MP about a month before the breech. Her dad went missing during the siege, and her sister and mother were both devoured."

"Anything else?"

"I can't think of anything. If I do, I'll let you know straight away."

"Good. But remember, no one hears of this." I made sure to glare dangerously at her to get the point across.

"I'm not stupid. I know how important this is. I once wanted to join the MP... now I know that it's unbelievably corrupted. I still want to join, to save my own ass."

"Hn." I snorted. I left, contemplating my new information. There wasn't much to work with- he seemed completely innocent. There were two strange parts to the story; where had her father gone and why hadn't her brother made contact before this time?

"The game is on." I smirked, despite not knowing where this sudden clichéd line had emerged from.

...

**AN: I like adding in quotes from films and songs now and again. It amuses me. Ten points for whoever recognises a quote! Haha.**

**This update came sooner than I thought! It's my birthday today, hehe. Thanks for sticking with this story despite the long update wait. **

**WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PLOT?! I thought of it and went 'OOOHHH THIS IS SOME SERIOUS EASTENDERS SHIT'. So much drama. Luann has had a large section too. **

**Oh and I drew some art for my own fanfiction and realised that the image of Lena in my head comes out completely different on paper. If anyone has some free time, I'd love to see some art of my story! ^_^ I want to make a proper cover for it or spend some time drawing all the characters...**

**Too bad I can't draw.**


	17. PIERCE THE TWILIGHT 1

The next week had been comprised of days full of suspicion. Not a single person in the scouting legion believed the story behind the MP gang. They received glares, worried glances and even spit in their direction. Others, innocent of the recent tension between the scouting legion and the military police, greeted them brightly. The female in the group was the most tense. She warned off attempts for people to get close to her and often glared at people. She showed definite signs of being on her guard. The short guy was flirtatious and approached others easily. Lena's brother... was ridiculously hard to figure out.

He seemed perfect- too perfect. The kind to respond with text-book replies. I imagined him to have an upper-class voice, yet his thick accent disputed his respectable behaviour. He spoke softly, smiled often and never lost his temper. Not even when a guy spat on his shoes and threatened him. Not even when someone accused Lena openly of conspiring (to which I responded to in private with them and made them politely promise to keep their mouth closed in future). So far, Lena had not seen much of this aggressive behaviour- no doubt if she did, she'd blow her fuse and do something rash. She was a laid-back type of person... but defensive at the same time, as shown with her dispute with Oluo.

I ran my fingers over the blades at my side, filed in rows in my 3DMG tanks. Briefly, I glanced at Wulf and Alexis who had been assigned to me for the time being to instruct them on 3DMG manoeuvre. Their role in the Military Police generally hadn't utilised the gear often, and so their skills were rusty. Or so their story went.

I chided myself for considering them spies despite the lack of evidence. They fiddled with the straps on their gear until it was comfortable for them. Indeed, their manoeuvre skills were poor and they did pick up the basics again rather quickly. This was our second day of training, whilst Lena was in charge of demonstrating to Luca and the others in the group how to clean their gear.

"Are you done?" I asked, with possibly more irritation in my voice than I intended.

"Just about." Alexis sniffed, clearly picking up on my hostility and retaliating with equal scorn.

"Then let's continue with exercise twelve." I withdrew two blades as they copied. "What to do if your 3DMG fails. Your tanks deliberately have very little air in. Within two minutes you should run out. When that happens, it's vital you use your last bit of gas to break your fall. Unless you want to see your spine in the shape of a pretzel. You should feel the gas run out because your pistons will fail to reach where you aim for. This signifies you have only around a 10 metre range left. At this point, let yourself drop until you're around ten metres from the floor. Fire your last piston and your landing should be relatively light. When you land, make sure to bend your knees and drop to one side. Any questions?"

"No sir." Wulf saluted.

"I've also incorporated lesson thirteen into this, which is efficiently using your gas. We all have 1 litre of gas in our canisters. Your task is to try and get your gas to last longer than mine. Use what you know from theory lessons about efficiency."

"Sir, what do we get if we win?" There was a cocky expression on the brat's face that annoyed me when he said that.

"I believe in negative reinforcement, rather than positive."

"What does that mean?"

"If you do beat me, you avoid getting to see what your face looks like in 2D."

"Got it." His confidence was quickly knocked flat.

"Right then. Follow on behind." I signalled, darting off with speed. They were at my side almost before I hit the tree line, which was an improvement on yesterday. I felt my stomach lurch as I fired the piston sharply forward. To them, it appeared like I was wasting gas by going at full speed. The two of them would either copy and speed up, wasting gas, or drop back to save it. Wulf, as I expected him to, maintained his position at my side, eager to get ahead. Alexis conserved fuel and dropped back, taking long and fluid motions compared to our sharp, powerful ones.

In my head, I visualised the gas tank. I could imagine how much I had used in how long, purely down to experience. Eyeing Wulf, I steadily slowed my actions as though running out of gas. My motions replicated Alexis' with long, sweeping movements so that I soared and free-fell in the air for what seemed like years. Wulf, sensing victory, kept up his powerful attacks at the air, firing pistons one after another to keep speed. I listened to the sound of his gas mechanisms... they were beginning to choke.

We kept this up for five minutes before Wulf was in danger; I sensed it before him, and even Alexis began to watch him as though waiting for his downfall. The gas canister choked out it's final breath and Wulf's piston missed the mark. His limbs flailed as he panicked. Around twenty metres from the ground, he remembered his instructions and fired out a piston. It latched into a tree, causing it to splinter under the force. The wire tightened and eventually yanked him upwards. Then, it snapped away and he dropped a further ten metres to the floor.

"Keep going." I ordered Alexis. She narrowed her eyes in competition, determined to show me up. I grinned, casting her a side-ways glance as I pulled one of my well-known tricks. I fired both pistons at once, which dragged me through the trees, up, up and even further up, until I crashed through the top of the trees. My feet danced in the air as I twisted for balance. I couldn't see Alexis any more. Seconds later, my descent sped up rapidly and I dropped back past Alexis. She was gaping at me. I stayed low again, spiralling through the trees as I held my breath to listen to her 3DMG.

There it was. A slight cough. A high-pitched, hollow whine. Approximately two minutes until she went down. My own 3DMG had one and a half minutes, but I could extend that if I used a few tricks I had learnt. My initial race against Wulf had chewed up more gas than I had anticipated. Once more, I fired both pistons to propel myself above the trees. I felt my back arch with the drag force, my hair ripped back from my face. As I fell back to through, I sliced a few branches from my path.

One and a half minutes vs One minute and fifteen seconds.

I pulled off a few more tricks, making myself as aerodynamic as possible to cut through the air. She tried the same thing, always monitoring my movements and copying accordingly.

Forty seconds vs One minute. I was ahead again.

It didn't take long then until she felt her gear run out. She scowled, making an irritated grunt as her piston missed the mark. With almost practised grace, she allowed herself to drop and then, ten metres from the ground, broke her fall with one final piston. By this time, my own gear failed. I used my last piston to fire out at such a low and far out angle that as I was pulled along and down, I swept around a tree and landed on my feet, taking a few extra steps to slow my momentum.

She frowned for several seconds, before breaking into laughter. "You really are humanity's strongest! That's some amazing skill you've got there." She picked herself up from the ground and jogged to my side.

"Experience." I huffed, realising we had a hell of a long walk back.

"It takes a lot for me to respect someone, but that was definitely something." We fell into step side by side. "Although," she added. "Luca still has the edge on you."

"Why?" I frowned. "Can he use 3DMG?"

"No," she shook her head, wiping a bead of sweat into her hairline. "He's just a great person. I really respect him." Usually, I'd leave the conversation there. I wasn't used to casual chatter. But, this could be my opportune moment to find out about Luca.

"How so?"

"You've met him, right? I've known him years and he hasn't ever snapped. Not once has he lost his temper. I've never seen him cry either."

"That's not 'cool'." I frowned. "That's creepy. If he had that brat as his sister, you'd expect him to have anger issues."

"I don't know much about Lena." Alexis shrugged. "In fact, I never knew he had a sister until a while ago." Hmm. Really? Lena was that attached to Luca, yet he never mentioned her?

"Hn." I replied. She looked at me, before sighing. She folded her thin arms across her chest and caught my gaze.

"I'm well aware no one trusts us." She said. "I know that you're suspicious too." I listened patiently, wondering whether to play dumb or make clear of the mistrust. "We all have our reasons for coming here: Luca came to find his sister; I wanted to escape my father. I don't know about the others, but we're all here for selfish reasons."

"I don't care if you're a spy or titan." I shrugged. "As long as your swords are pointed away from my squad, do whatever the fuck you want." She didn't say anything, just looked me up and down quizzically.

"I spoke to Hertz... and she said you're unbelievably loyal to your squad."

"Hmm." That signalled the end of question time. I'd managed to be talkative for over 20 seconds... now I had a headache.

"Luca's loyal too." Alexis continued obliviously. "If he promises to do something, he'll do it."

"That's not being loyal." I halted the stream of compliments she had prepared for Luca on her tongue. "Being loyal would be to break the promise you made to somebody in order to protect them."

"Huh?" One eyebrow raised and her eyes bored into me. Her eyes... they were very unique. Very pretty.

But they didn't have a thing on Lena's.

"Keeping promises is different to being loyal." I repeated, wondering where I should leave this argument. With an internal sigh, I decided that duty called upon me to make conversation and learn about Alexis and her group. "Once, one of my soldiers begged me to kill him. He had a gaping wound with blood pumping out like water from a split pipe. He was in so much pain that he had a knife pressed against his neck in case I refused, though he didn't know if his arms even had the strength to carry it out. I promised him I would and he immediately calmed down, letting me take the knife from him. I knocked him unconscious with my fist and took him to the nearest medic. Three hours of unbelievably agonising surgery for him eventually patched up his wound."

"And what happened to him?"

"He left service and now lives with his family. He's mentally scarred, but alive."

"You should have killed him if you were loyal to him." Alexis frowned. "He wanted to die. He was in pain."

"But he lived."

"But the mental scars may be much deeper. What if he commits suicide? Then he hasn't died a valiant death on the battlefield."

"But he's lived a valiant life and I've served my loyalty to him and his family."

"But being loyal is different." She was adamant she was right. I was growing tired of all the 'but this' 'but that's we were throwing back and forth.

"My loyalty lies with my squad and their families. My duty is to bring them back alive to their families no matter what..." I decided to put across my point differently. "What if Luca was seriously injured and he asked you to kill him?" Alexis faltered and her expression changed.

"I couldn't kill Luca..." she admitted quietly.

"Then, in _your_ eyes, you aren't loyal to him. You're thinking of loyalty like a servant to his master- to do anything they ask. Real loyalty is different- to do anything for their sake. Who knows, that man may spend the rest of his life wishing he were dead. In his eyes, I may have betrayed him. But to me, if there's one small chance that I can keep him alive, I'll take it. As part of my loyalty and devotion to my squad."

"I see..."

"Well..." I huffed. "That's all hypothetical because in reality, Lena is wrong. I'm not loyal."

"I would say you are." She tried to make eye contact but I continued facing forwards.

"Lena's only a brat. She hasn't experienced enough of life to be a good judge of character."

"... You call her Lena." I flicked my eyes quickly over to Alexis and caught her smirking. "First name terms?"

Luckily, I was saved from continuing conversation as Wulf appeared in the distance and took centre stage. He loved to chat menial bullshit and that meant that I didn't have to answer questions.

…

It was now late in the evening and we were all eating around a circular table. I could see Lena a few places to my right; she had never looked so happy. She chatted endlessly to Luca and asked him about where he'd been and how he was doing. She never ran out of conversation so long as he was there. Wulf hadn't shut up since... ever. His narcissistic voice had become like background noise.

"Why'd a cute girl like you join the Scouting Legion then, Len?"

"Len?" Lena muttered under her breath is mild disgust. "I've been looking for Luca." She beamed broadly at said person, who returned the gesture with his own toothless smile.

"Ahh sibling love." Wulf smirked. He ran a hand through his hair and sat back in his chair. He was wearing a muscle vest in order to show of his "muscles" as much as possible. At every opportunity, he was moving his arms in wide gestures in hope that people would notice his biceps. I shivered internally in disgust. I don't think any guy had irritated me more in my life. "Have you had a boyfriend before?" He winked at her and I shot him a venom filled glare to try and signal him to shut his damn trap.

"A lady doesn't talk about herself so freely." Lena commented sarcastically. I could tell she was trying to ward off his passes at her whilst still maintaining a good rapport. It was part of her job to get close to them afterall.

"Ahh, so you're embarrassed in front of your big bro." He pouted and Luca just smiled back, softly. Lena decided not to continue the conversation, instigating some sort of 'experiment' debate with Hanji instead- you knew things were bad when you were looking to Hanji for conversation. Wulf turned to me instead. "Hey Levi, want to go work out together later?"

"No. That's heichou to you."

"Ahh, don't be a spoil sport. You must work out with those biceps. We can help motivate each other."

"You can be my punch bag if you like." I commented dryly.

"So you do martial arts! I knew you'd like training."

"I've got things to do."

"Ahh, that's no good Levi."

"-heichou." I cut in.

"If you don't keep up your workouts, that spare tyre will never go away!" I felt a vein pop in my forehead and my teeth were about to shatter I was clenching them so tightly. I heard Lena giggle across the table then quickly stifle it. "What'dya say, Levi?"

"No."

"Ahh come on, it's good camaraderie building stuff!"

"Ahh, no." I imitated his speaking tic, causing Lena to burst into silent laughter across the table. Thankfully, Erwin gestured to me from across the room. I got up quickly and thanked him in my head for ending my social torture.

I don't think I'll be able to keep this up.

…

_I was running through the trees, stripping off my 3DMG in order to move faster. It clattered to the ground behind me as I dodged branches in the pathless forest, feeling brambles scratch at my legs leaving behind a numb, stinging sensation. I don't know why, but I was terrified. If felt sick. I felt dizzy. I felt dread._

_As I ran, I started to smell blood- death. It churned the acid in my stomach and burned the back of my throat as sick threatened to erupt into my mouth. I wanted to yell. I wanted to call out somebody's name but my memories were hazy. Why was I running? Who's blood could I sense? _

_I gagged. To my right, I saw a body hung upside down like something from a butcher's shop. It was slung from unyielding strings with it's neck slashed to allow blood to drain out like water. It was not an 'it'. 'It' was Gunther, and this sight was unbelievably familiar- sickeningly so. It was something I had seen time and time again when I closed my eyes. The image wouldn't let me rest from it. I turned away, hoping to block it out._

_Somehow, I knew that blood was not the blood that terrified me. Somehow, I knew that the worst was yet to come._

_And like a 24 hour nightmare, reoccurring in the daytime and night, the rest of them followed. Eld, Oluo and Petra appeared and hit me like gun shots straight into my chest. Yet, unlike all other nights where I had dreamt this scene, something told me that it still wasn't over. I was still gagging over the ever-stronger scent of blood. I still felt that paralysing notion that around the next tree, I'd see something else._

_Oh god please, I don't think I can take any more, please._

_I stumbled into a walk, mentally screaming at my legs to stop. Nothing good could come if I continued. Stop, please stop. Sweat trickled down my face and I felt cold, like the pores in my skin were filled with ice. The stench of death, which I was all too familiar with, came to a stomach-flipping climax as I encountered the subject of my nightmare. My legs, which had supported me through death after death, terror after terror, suddenly fell from beneath me._

_Light flickered through the trees onto a body laid peacefully at rest on the ground. A halo of blood crept up and stained beautiful, brown hair, turning into crimson concrete as it dried black. Lost eyes stared at the skies... dark brown eyes... lifeless, dark brown eyes. The sunlight touched her pale skin and became dull in the presence of death, causing an eerie darkness to descend across her features._

_"L...Lena?" I picked myself up off the floor and stumbled to her side. "Oi, brat?" Someone moved in the trees and I quickly swept my hand to where my sword... should have been. That was right: I had dropped it. The figure stepped forward and revealed themselves for just long enough for despair to collapse upon me. He bared his teeth in a smirk. This was too cruel. The bastard, Luca, walked away smiling, leaving his sister to die on the forest floor._

"_Lena? Lena!"_

"LENA!" I sat up, sweating heavily. It took me a moment to take in my surroundings. It was morning, the day after I had trained the new cadets on 3DMG manoeuvres. I had gone to bed right after reporting to Erwin on the day. Everything was normal. Everything was fine.

Lena was fine.

**AN:**

**It's been a while (sweat drops)... sorry. But yeah, I finally finished a chapter. Just so you know, I WILL finish this story. I'm determined. If this was an anime, I suppose it'd be on it's second to last arc. So when this plot has resolved itself, the last one will be my finale (if all goes to plan which 90% of the time, I just make things up as I go along).**

**Thanks for continuing to review! I keep getting emails that another person has favourited my story, which makes me happy because I've not updated in a while _ People are still reading this! I'm so happy aha.**

**Ah yes, and I've already started the modern day reincarnation sequel to this story 'The Chemicals Keeping Us Together' (which delays me even more), but hopefully this will mean I'll be ahead when I start uploading that and therefore more regular! Yey! I also started another story called schizo-freak, which was from a request to do a LevixHanji story. Basically if you're interested, Levi has schizophrenia and since this is pretty much undiagnosed and just classed at madness in the snk world, Hanji tries to help him through it whilst his comrades are telling him to pull himself together.**

**See you next chapter! :D **


	18. PIERCE THE TWILIGHT 2

LENA-

"Not this again." I huffed, shivering with anticipation as the horse in front of me snorted like it could sense my hatred for it.

"All trainees must be able to ride." Levi simply stated. "We don't have anyone else here who's pathetic, do we?"

"Hey-"

"No sir." Luca replied as a representative for them all. "All my team can ride well."

"Just your shitty sister then."

"Like I said, hey!"

Otto scratched the stubble on his chin- he was practically taller than the damn horse. Alexis skilfully swung herself into the saddle and the rest of them quickly followed. Ahh, really? Was I really the only person who couldn't ride?

"Get on, Lena."

"But I only have one hand!" I protested to Levi. He just glowered and I decided it would be best to just do as he said. Whatever the consequences were, he'd have to deal with them. I placed my foot gingerly into the metal stirrup and began to heave myself onto the horse. The horse sniffed in protest- that was all the response I needed to make me worry. As I struggled to get on, legs flailing in the air, I felt a strong hand grab my belt and attempt to hoist me up. A few seconds later and I still wasn't up... because Levi simply wasn't tall enough to lift me.

I collapsed into giggles and slid my foot back out so I landed on the grass again. I knew he'd be pissed, but I couldn't help but find it hilarious that his heroic act of kindness had all come to naught because he wasn't tall enough. I felt his presence loom over and scuttled once more into the stirrup. This time as I counted to three to drag myself over, Levi actually managed to help; if you count helping as throwing my free foot into the air so quickly I felt ligaments between my legs tear.

"Fucking hell, Levi!" I gasped, clinging on for my life as the momentum made the horse stagger. He just grunted. "And anyway, what good is this when I only have one hand?! That's hardly what I call control!"

"That horse is older than my dead granddad. It'll have a heart attack before it tries tossing you off. I doubt it can even run." Levi whistled his horse to his side and leapt into the saddle. He weighed so little that the horse barely reacted. I nearly made a comment on this, but thought better of it. "Right. Follow on behind in a single file."

I grunted in muffled objection- he just expected me to manage then. The rest of them easily trotted on behind Levi whilst I trailed behind them all, struggling to maintain my balance. Wulf had dropped back to my side and began smirking at me.

"Is your face permanently lop-sided?" I asked, smiling.

"Huh?" He frowned. "Oh, yeah. I do smile a lot. Charming, isn't it?"  
>"Indeed." Read between the damn lines, jerk.<p>

"So what are your plans for tonight?" Wulf 'smiled' again, letting go of the reins with one hand momentarily to adjust his hair. When he noticed I was watching, he casually pulled down his shirt and flapped the material, letting cool air flow underneath it (and giving me a fantastic view of his chest).

"Sleeping." I mock yawned.  
>"Ahh, tired are we?" If there was an award for obliviousness... "How about I give you a sports massage after this? I'm really good! It'll help you relax."<p>

"Ooh great." I commented dryly. "I look forward to it."

"It's a date then!" He winked mischievously. Jeez, why was he trying so hard?

"Oi, you two." Levi growled, loudly. "What part of a single file don't you get?" Wulf gulped and quickly trotted back in line.

We continued ambling along in single file, led by a very irritated Levi. I hadn't realised our usual banter had irritated him so much... or maybe something else was bugging him. He occasionally gave points of instruction or changed the pace, but in general, it was just a casual ride across the countryside. Eventually, we broke back into the vast training forest.

"Don't get lost!" Levi called over his shoulder, deliberately making eye contact with me. Yeah yeah, keep gloating. I heard the shouts of another team not to far away, and began to look around as the voices grew nearer. The screeches of wires and the clattering of metal suggested it was a group training on 3DMG. Soon, one of the members came into sight, followed swiftly by a few more. Upon instruction from the leader, they all dropped to the floor and gathered together.

"Levi heichou!" someone called. It turned out to be Stein. He separated from his group and approached Levi whilst said corporal instructed us to stop.

"What's the matter?" Levi replied, dismounting.

"One of our members is injured and I need to take them back. Can you take on my squad? I shouldn't be long." After an unsurprising grunt of reluctance from Levi, he nodded.

"Guys," Stein called to his team. "I'm leaving you with corporal Levi whilst I go back for Will and get him to HQ." They all looked at each other and then back at Stein as though begging with their eyes 'please don't leave us with that devil'.

"We'll take this opportunity to have a break." Levi sighed, allowing our group to dismount and get some water from the bags strapped to the horse. I gratefully gulped down the lukewarm liquid after (shakily) dismounting.

"Tch." One of Stein's group grunted. "Never thought I'd get to see those traitors up close." I shot him a glare and some others from his team tried to get him to whisper.

"Oi," one guy I recognised from my intake chided in hushed tones. "Ignatz, they'll hear you."

"I hope they bloody do." Ignatz commented back, raising his voice. Upon searching the area to see where Levi was, I found that he was sat quite a distance away. He'd managed to find a tree stump that provided a perfect seat for him. After he had laid down a small mat and tied up his horse, he began to sip at his water peacefully. _A mat. He has a mat for his dainty bum. _I couldn't help but laugh.

"That girl's the worst though." A vein popped in my forehead as I made it clear that I was listening by glaring at the guy's back. "Betraying the scouting legion by conspiring with spies." I decided to stay quiet and wait for Ignatz to get bored of starting an argument. The rest of our group had clearly heard and were gathered a short distance away, attempting to ignore them. Even Wulf had shut up for once. Luca caught my eyes, then looked away without changing his expression.

"She's conspiring with her brother. It's people like her that get in the way of the scouting legion, using foul methods to get into the inner walls and save their own damn asses." It was very quickly becoming an effort to keep my mouth shut. I looked around to Levi again and saw he was looking at me. _Looks like he's caught on that something's up. _He mouthed something at me, but I just gave him a raised eyebrow in confusion. After holding my gaze for several seconds like he was trying to send a telepathic message, finally he sighed in frustration. _Hey! Don't you sigh! I can't read minds- just say it!_

"Hey, whatever your name is." The guy turned to face me finally and I drew myself up to my full height.

"Lena."

"I really don't care." He dismissed me, stepping closer. We held eye contact and I knew he was challenging me. Someone hadn't pissed me off this much in a while. I clenched my fists and tilted my head backwards to look down at him, folding my arms. "Do you realise that thousands of people are killed by people like you?"

"Ha~?" I scowled. "We've not met before. How can you say 'people like me'?"

"Oh come on." He laughed, bitterly. "The whole of the legion knows you're reporting back precious information to your brother."

"I'll be sure to report back that I met a bastard today, then. Did you hear that, Luca?" I raised my voice without breaking eye contact with Ignatz. "I didn't know they let dogs into the legion." I looked over to Levi again, wondering why he hadn't come down and sorted this argument yet. The expression on his face read 'what a pain in the fuckin arse'. _Levi you grumpy bastard, get over here before I hit someone._

"Yeah, they let rodents in as well." Ignatz looked meaningfully over to my brother. "Standards are really slipping when vermin are infiltrating our ranks." His tone was full of spite and I just wanted to knock out all his teeth so he couldn't form those foul accusations.

"Back off, before you get hurt." I warned, lowering my voice. We were the centre of attention. Some people were glaring at me too, backing up Ignatz silently.

"A girl? Hurt me? You've only got one arm too." He laughed. A very tight cord within me reached the point of snapping. Ignatz grasped my shirt and slammed me into the bark of a tree, his face threateningly close. I bared my teeth at him, still trying my best to hold myself back. I knew full well that I couldn't win a physical fight with this bastard. "You're the one that's going to get hurt, lady." His fingers enclosed around my neck and a spark of panic lit up inside of me. Where was Levi? Where was Luca? Why wasn't anyone helping me?!

My eyes shot over to Luca. He turned his back to me... like he couldn't see what was going on. That hurt. That stung really bad. I understood that if he saved me, it would be like I was on his side, but still...

I wheezed past the hand on my neck and felt my face burn hot. I realised now that I probably _couldn't _get him off me. He was too close and my left arm was too weak. This thought panicked me. I felt all eyes watching, but no one moved to stop him. I tore at his hand with my fingers, trying to pull it off but the force in my left arm wasn't strong enough. Desperately, I moved against the pain in my right arm but it dropped uselessly back into it's sling again.

"Urk- Le-...Vi!" I muttered past the hand. Suddenly, I was released and I collapsed to the floor, coughing more out of shock than anything else.

"_What the hell... _are you doing_?_" I'd never heard a voice as dangerous as Levi's was in that second. He had Ignatz by the shirt, pulling him so close that he could probably smell the sweat that started to bead on Ignatz skin. I got to my feet. Levi's eyes flickered to me and then back to Ignatz. "You too, Lena!" he spat, viciously. "I don't want any arguments in my presence... do you understand, brat?"

"Y-yes corporal!" Ignatz spluttered out the words as fast as he could, eyes wide in fear. Levi cast him aside and turned to me.

"What about you, brat?" He scowled. I rubbed my neck gingerly and half-pouted. I couldn't believe I was getting scolded too. Maybe he was just doing this for public appearances so that people knew he wasn't favouring me... He never used to give a damn about those types of things though.

"Sorry." I grunted, reluctantly.

"Get rid of that attitude before I get rid of your tongue." Levi commented as he turned angrily away. "And the rest of you. For not intervening, you're all on cleaning duty tonight. Break's over. Those on horse back, follow in single file. The rest of you just keep up." The others shared worried glances as they prepared for moving out. I shuffled over to my horse, still extremely pissed. I'd not managed to vent the pent up anger that Ignatz had given me- and it was ready to explode.

As I struggled at the back to clamber onto my horse, I felt a hand gently help me over. Looking down in surprise, I saw Levi avoiding eye contact below me. "Are you okay?" he muttered so that no one else could hear.

"Mm." I nodded, slightly taken-a-back.

"We'll talk later." He said, casually making his way back to his own horse.

_Uwaa~ My heart's beating like one of those girly girls in romance novels. That was unexpected! How un-Levi-like was that?!_

As we began to travel again, Wulf broke the lines to trot next to me. He checked no one was listening, then whispered across to me. "Are you okay?" I nodded, not wanting to start a conversation with someone who had turned their back on me like everyone else. "I'm so sorry about that, girl." He said, trying to appeal to me with puppy-dog eyes. "If we helped you then it would have looked like what they were saying was true."

"I know." I reluctantly sighed. "It still pisses me off though."

"How can I make it up to you?" He pleaded, still managing to break his seriousness with a mischievous grin. It's not like I was going to answer 'I'll forgive you if you take me on a date!- tehe~'... I considered his request. Well, it was still in my job to get close to them.

"That sports massage." I smiled. "I'll take you up on that offer." Wulf grinned, genuinely looking happy now I'd broken out of my tantrum.

"Full body?" He smirked and I felt like hitting him.  
>"Just neck and shoulders. You know, since it feels a little <em>tight.<em>" Hint, hint, I've just been strangled because of you.

"Sure!" He laughed. Now I was used to his humour, he wasn't that difficult to get along with.

"Oi, you two!" Levi called. I nearly fell off my horse when I looked up and saw him standing on his horse facing us. Surely he wasn't human. "Single fucking file!"

"Yessir!" I grinned. Levi jolted, then his expression softened.

"Disobedient brats." He muttered under his breath, lowering himself back into his saddle and spinning around.

**LEVI-**

After that drama, I kept looking back to check up on Lena and was growing increasingly annoyed at how she was smiling at Wulf. It was no longer her forced 'I have to get along with you' smile, she was genuinely having fun. What was great about that narcissistic bastard?

I'd been twiddling my thumbs like some sort of mother the entire time I heard them arguing. Threats flashed backwards and forwards and I was dying to intervene, but a number of thoughts kept occupying my head so I stayed put.

A. Why wasn't Luca helping?

I was looking between Lena and Luca the whole time, wondering why he was pretending nothing was happening. Surely it'd be weirder if he _didn't _intervene, since they were siblings. It was suspicious to say the least.

B. If they _were_ spies and they found out that me and Lena were close, would they report that and would the Military Police use that to their advantage?

I was the strongest soldier and therefore the biggest target. To take out an enemy, you have to get rid of their driving force. It's only obvious that they'd target me. I didn't want to drag Lena into this.

C. Surely Ignatz was just using empty threats?

In front of everyone and whilst I was here, he wouldn't do anything. He looked like the type of guy that was all mouth and no trousers. I knew that Lena wouldn't do anything either- she was outnumbered and handicapped. Plus, it'd make her the enemy. I was positive that this would blow out to be nothing, until the moment I looked back and the two of them were out of sight. One of the horses was blocking my view and all I could see was two pairs of feet.

Once I had decided enough was enough and stood up to break the fight, I had encountered something that set my nerves alight and took every shred of calmness that existed within me and incinerated them. He had her pinned against a tree, her eyes wide and frightened despite the false bravado scowling she was doing. Her face was growing redder as she tried to gasp in air past the hand around her neck.

"_Urk- Le-...Vi!" _The was no mistaking it. She had just called out to me to help her- she was afraid. I had jumped over to her and taken Ignatz by the throat before anyone had chance to realise I was there. The anger that burned inside of me attempted to take over, but I tried to remain reasonable.

The poor boy was scared shitless by the time I had done with him.

Lena had pouted at me as I scolded her and I knew she was bitter and confused. I ignored the urge to let down my guard and hold her, instead commanding the group to get their asses shifted. When she struggled to get back onto her horse, I couldn't keep up my cold act towards her. I helped her gently and looked away from those piercing eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Mm." She nodded.

"We'll talk later." I said, returning to the front again.

And now she was happily chatting with Wulf after I had ordered them to get into single file. For some reason, it irritated me. There was also the fact that I felt an ominous notion that there was a threat within the group. Luca. I couldn't shake my nightmare from my head: "betrayer" "betrayer" "betrayer", the words circled my head. _He'll deceive you. He'll deceive the legion. He'll deceive Lena._

I didn't even consider the rest of them threats, which was confusing. It was that inert feeling that Luca was dangerous that forced my eyes to keep watching my back whenever he was out of sight. Lena didn't suspect him at all and she'd known him all her life... it was strange how she considered Luca to be her beloved older brother, and I considered him a beast in human skin.

Maybe that was just a personality difference.

Despite this, I ensured I kept an eye on Lena for the entire walk. I navigated left at a fork in the forest pathway and checked my internal compass that we were heading where I wanted to go. I doubted that Ignatz would begin another argument, but it was something about the darkness of the forest that electrified me. I wanted Lena right by my side, so that every time we turned a corner I wouldn't lose sight of her.

I told myself I was insane, and checked back once more for her...

She wasn't there. I signalled for everyone to stop, suddenly nervous. This sensation that was eating away at me... My eyes darted around all the members, counting and checking faces. Luca was still here, and Ignatz. We were missing two and it didn't seem like they were behind us any more.

"Fucking hell." I swore, heading past everyone to the back of the line and searching for them. The mental register I had conducted calculated that it was Wulf and Lena that were missing. Looking down the trodden path, I saw it was empty. "Where's Lena and Wulf?" I called, receiving blank faces as replies. I unintentionally shot a glare at Luca and repeated the question to him.

"They were behind us a few minutes ago." He said, using that same gentle tone he always used. Not the type of tone you expected for someone who's sister had just been attacked and was now missing.

_What have you done, you heartless cunt? _My head screamed. "What happened then?" I asked, clicking my tongue in frustration.

"I don't know, maybe they took a wrong turn?"

"We're heading back!" I commanded, gritting my teeth and kicking my horse into life. As though it sensed my anxiety, the horse whinnied.

We searched for at least five minutes before the anxiety within me turned to accusations. It was no longer a 'feeling'; I had Luca and Wulf down as culprits. Somehow, they'd done this. Somehow, this was planned.

My mind kept drifting back to the nightmare I had, with the forest smelling of death and the bodies and...

_The stench of death, which I was all too familiar with, came to a stomach-flipping climax as I encountered the subject of my nightmare. Light flickered through the trees onto a body laid peacefully at rest on the ground. A halo of blood crept up and stained beautiful, brown hair, turning into crimson concrete as it dried black. Lost eyes stared at the skies... dark brown eyes... lifeless, dark brown eyes. The sunlight touched her pale skin and became dull in the presence of death, causing an eerie darkness to descend across her features._

_Someone moved in the trees. The figure smirked and revealed themselves for just long enough for despair to collapse upon me. He bared his teeth in a smirk. The bastard, Luca, walked away smiling, leaving his sister to die on the forest floor._

"Why aren't you worried?" I asked Luca, trying to keep an even tone.

"She's always had a bad sense o' direction." Luca smiled. "And Wulf may act like a player, but he's not a bad lad." Text-book answers. They weren't doing anything to drown the sick feeling swirling in my stomach that I had let Lena be taken away from right under my eyes. "May I ask you a question, Levi sir?" Luca pulled his horse beside me and didn't falter under my glare.

"Go ahead."

"It's similar to what you asked me. Why are _you _worried?" For several seconds, I tried to figure out what he was getting at. He smiled at me like he was fifty years my senior and had just figured out a secret of mine.  
>"What are you getting at?" I challenged. He continued smiling and patted his horse gently.<p>

"I'll be straight with you then. Do you like my sister?"

"And why would that concern you?" I threatened. It was a tone of voice that said, stay out of my business. But he wasn't getting it. Instead, he continued debating with me.

"She's my sister. I think I have a right t'know who she dates."  
>"We're not dating."<p>

"Do you want to?"  
>"I'm not having this conversation with you."<br>"You haven't denied it?" Okay so now he was teasing me. Just who did Luca think he was?! I searched his eyes, trying to understand his motives. All I saw was Lena staring back at me- there was no doubt that they had similar genes.

"Are you a teenage girl or what?"

"I'm just sayin'." Luca chuckled, looking straight ahead. "I don't care what rank you are, if you hurt her, I'll scrape yer eyeballs out." This comment shocked me. What shocked me more what that he was smiling like he was enjoying winding me up whilst he said it.

"Tch."

"Hey!" A voice headed towards us. "Call me Mary, but I found two lost lambs on my way over here!" It was Stein. He charged forward with his 3DMG and dropped to a skidding halt before us. I signalled for everyone to stop and heard the screeches of several gears fire out their last pistons. "Well, maybe I should call them a lost cricket and a wolf."

"Hey guys!" Wulf appeared around the twist in the path. Behind him, a blushing Lena appeared. _Blushing?! _"It's Lena's fault. I said left and she said right at the fork in the path and we got lost."

"I was dead certain too..." Lena muttered.

It was a good job I was sat on a horse because suddenly my legs felt weak with relief. The nightmare from last night evaporated from my head and my panic eased so quickly that I felt dizzy. Since when had I gotten so worked up over another person? No, this was definitely a first. Lena was the first person to be able to manipulate my mind this way. She could give me a thundering headache or a feeling of content that rivalled the effect of drugs. I didn't need anti-depressants or painkillers; I needed her.

"YOU!" I growled. "How can you_ possibly _get lost?! You just had to follow on!"

"I hadn't tied on my bag properly and it fell off..." Lena mumbled, embarrassed in front of the whole squad.

"I stopped to help her and we lost sight of you." Wulf added. "We didn't stop you because we thought we'd catch up on no time."

"Incompetent, useless, feather-brained, dunce!" I swore, driving my horse back to the front ranks. I heard Luca whisper something along the lines of, 'he was really worried- you should apologise later' to Lena. Stein caught up with me and asked to withdraw his squad, to which I just grunted in reply. Soon, it was just myself, Lena and the ex-military police again.

Two dramas in one day! I'm moving to the countryside and bordering myself up in a shed where no one can get to me.

**AN:**

**Yey! Another chapter down. I've got a big drama coming up soon so I'm going to really spend time practising and researching how to write with tension. So it might take longer than usual to write whilst I use a thesaurus for every word, haha.**


	19. CRIMSON BOW AND ARROW 1

**LENA-**

"You missed a spot." Levi said, gesturing to the whole room.

"You just gestured everywhere." I grunted from where I was crawling along the floor of his room with a dustpan and brush.

"Exactly." Levi nodded, sipping on his tea with his peculiar habit of using his whole hand over the mug.

"Levi it's been an hour."

"And you're still not done?" Levi tutted, still focussed on the sheets in front of him as he flicked through them with one hand and drank tea with the other.

"I want food, Levi." I demanded, pouting at him with my arms folded.

"That's no way to talk to your superior." he commented, but from the lack of attention he was giving me, he didn't seem to mind. I raised two dainty fingers in his direction whilst he signed another sheet. "Do you want me to make it two hours?"

"Did you see that?"

"Did I see what?" Levi smirked over the top of his cup. I puffed out my cheeks and reluctantly carried on sweeping. "Maybe I'll let you go if you get on your knees and beg."

"I'm already on my knees."  
>"Halfway there then." he shrugged.<p>

"Oh mighty Levi." I said without conviction, voice like one of those wall worshippers. "I beg of you to let me eat for I will starve without my yorkshire puddings."

"Bark for me?"

"That's pushing it."

"No food then."

"Woof fucking woof." I said and Levi finally looked up with a smirk on his face like he was about to laugh out loud.

"No, you have to go through the motions. Crawl over to me on your knees wagging your tail and then sit back and woof."

"You're really a sadist, aren't you?"

"And you're a masochist because you're just dying to be hit."

"I think I'll wait until I pass out from hunger." I went back to sweeping, ducking behind the cupboard.

"Ahh, it's been a while since someone has hidden behind my cupboard." Levi called, even though I couldn't see him. I blushed and retorted straight back-

"It's been a while since someone has gotten so pissed I had to carry them back to their room." He shut up quickly.

"You didn't carry me."

"I practically did." I poked my head back from around the cupboard to see his expression. "Then who was it that kissed me whilst pissed?" That did it. His calm expression altered slightly and if I wasn't mistaken, he averted his eyes for a second.

"You don't want to start this game." Levi prepared a thousand insults in his head and I suddenly remembered every stupid thing I had done up until now.

"No, I don't." I admitted. "Let's go back to the fact you're a cruel bastard who won't feed me."

"You want to see how cruel I can be?" Levi asked, raising an eye brow. Was it just me, or was he teasing me?

"I'll go back to dusting." I said, quickly hiding behind the cupboard again, sweeping furiously. He couldn't see my face this way, which was an advantage because at the moment, my heart was pounding. Most of the time, I felt completely comfortable being alone with him. He was the only person I could talk to all of the time fluently, without pausing for breath. No awkward silences. Then, his eyes would change and suddenly, the air between us would be intenser. Suddenly, his eyes weren't in the mood for talking and it was times like this where he was most unpredictable.

I shuffled backwards to move the dust into the bin, and saw Levi bent down at my side. He was balanced on the balls of his feet with one arm resting on his knee. I jumped in surprise at the proximity and he smirked at me.  
>"Nervous?" He asked, leaning forward to close the gap between us even more. I gulped.<p>

"Remember the promise? Y-you can't touch me until you confess."

"Void." He commented quickly.  
>"Hah~?" I backed away, feeling my back hit the wall.<p>

"That promise is no longer valid." Levi said, shuffling ever closer so he was now on his knees. I moved so far back that my spine was pressed against the wall.

"You can't just decide that!" I said, putting my hand on his shoulder to push him away as he continued to edge closer and closer. Soon, I could feel his breath against my cheek.

"Kiss me, Lena." Levi said. My face turned scarlet and I struggled to form words in my mouth.

"N-no!" I babbled. "I said you can't until you've confessed plus you can't just do this type of thing what about my human rights and who'd want to kiss you anyway just look at that u-ugly face."

"You stuttered." Levi smirked.

"Stop smirking." I scowled as hard as I could at him.

"Kiss me." He demanded again.

"H-hey!"

"I deserve it after all the trouble you've given me today."

"What!?" I gasped. "This really isn't appropriate for a corporal and his subordinate."  
>"So now you care about rank." Levi scoffed. His eyes drifted down to my neck and I shivered with the image of a vampire... he had the murderous eyes for a vampire; pale skin, too. He completely closed the gap between us and started kissing my neck. I shuddered and pushed him away again, but he resisted with unimaginable strength.<p>

"Mmh, Levi!" I complained. He ignored me and pulled down my shirt a little to expose more of my neck, tracing the skin from collar bone to chin with his lips. Goosebumps erupted across my body and my heart pumped faster and faster.

"LEVI!" Someone smashed open the door and leapt through. I jolted as Hanji glanced at us on the floor, Levi still attached to my neck. He pulled back a little to look at her, then grunted in annoyance. I blushed, completely embarrassed beyond mental recovery. "On second thoughts, it's not important." Hanji said, closing the door quickly and bursting into laughter at the other side.

"Learn how to knock, shitty-glasses." Levi grunted, pulling away. "Ahh, such a mood-killer." he complained. Without looking at me, he stood up and went back to his desk.

"You-!" I couldn't find the words. I was torn between hitting him and hitting Hanji for not knocking.  
>"Dismissed." Levi waved a hand. "You can go eat now."<p>

"Shitty man." I cursed, rushing out. Then, I doubled back and added- "You still need to confess!"

"I don't take orders from my subordinates."

"Shitty man!" I shouted again and slammed the door.

…

Running down the corridor, I furiously rubbed at my neck. It was a good job that I didn't come across Hanji because I think I would have died from embarrassment. Eventually, I calmed enough to slow my pace to a walk, taking deep breaths.

"Have you heard the news?" Someone whispered down the corridor. "There's another expedition coming up." I stopped walking immediately and listened.

"R-really?" Another person gulped. "I don't want to go..."  
>"Me neither. I might break my arm like that girl did."<p>

"Anything's better than going out there."

_No. _I thought. _Not so soon. I'm not ready._ Since I was almost fully recovered, it was a given that I'd be on the next expedition. I wasn't prepared mentally or physically. I'd die in minutes. Unexpectedly, my head flashed up an image of my mother and sister... being eaten alive. Screaming. Begging. Praying.

"Lena," A soft voice called. I recognised it immediately. "What are you doing here? Have you had dinner yet?" I was reminded of earlier and felt my face go scarlet, turning to face Luca.

"Ah, no. I was just going."

"Can you come with me?" Luca glanced around. "I want to talk to you."

"What about?" I was nervous. Luca wasn't a very serious person. For him to have something to say... it must be important.

"It's about dad." I was immediately listening. "Come on, we can't talk here."

I followed him down the corridors and soon realised we were heading outside. We exited into the cool evening air and I drank in the sunset colours casting an orange glow on the tree tops. It was chilly and I soon felt goosebumps on my skin. Luca led me out of sight and I started to wonder where he was taking me. He finally stopped when he decided we were far enough away, turning to face me with the light at his back, making him an eerie silhouette against the sky. I could no longer see his expression.

"What's going on?" I asked, feeling nervous. I'd never seen this side of Luca before. He was silent and serious and everything he usually wasn't. He was scary. Luca stepped forward and pulled me into a hug; a cold, loveless hug. He quickly released me and it was then that I saw them- four people came from the shadows and walked towards me. Their gait was prepared, like they expected me to run away. I looked up to Luca and the confirmation on his face was all I needed to start running.

Fear electrified my muscles as I sprinted for HQ, dodging my way past one of the men who violently grabbed for me and left a deep scratch down my arm that was bound to leak blood. _Run, Lena, run! _All I could hear was quick, shallow breathing- my own and four others. I felt an arm grab mine and I was anchored to the spot, momentum partially dragging me from their steel grip. But they didn't let go. And I didn't give in. I fought back and in a flash of a second, saw a figure gaping at us in the doorway of HQ. _Luann? _It certainly looked like her. I'd never been more pleased to see her, begging her with my eyes to do something as a fist smacked into my stomach. I doubled over, coughing as one of the men kept me upright by clasping my arms. He kicked my back so that the spasm arched my spine the opposite way. I looked back and Luann was gone.

She wasn't going to help me. What was I thinking?

It was then that I felt all hope collapse around me. Pain ricocheted across my abdomen and I gasped for breath. I just wanted to crawl away into a corner and lay there, but I felt myself being dragged backwards with a hand over my mouth to cover the scream. I looked up at the sunset once more, before a bag was dragged over my head and I was cast into darkness.

Luca.

**LEVI-**

The door to my room was slammed open for the second time tonight. I span around with my shirt in my hand and scowled. "Shitty-glasses! Learn to-" It wasn't Hanji. Luann crashed into my room and nearly fell onto the floor. She looked up, sweat dripping down her pale face. She was filled with panic and that was an emotion that was most definitely contagious.

"Lena!" She gasped. "She's being kidnapped!" I dropped the shirt. She decided I had gotten the message and began to run. I chased after her, leaping down the stairways and literally pushing people out of my way. No one was going to slow me down. Not now. All I could think of was praying that "being" kidnapped was not a slip of the tongue. Those words gave hope to my nightmare. Those words allowed me to believe I could still make it in time. We hurtled past Hanji and Luann didn't slow her pace as she raced outside. I followed her, nearly tripping in my haste. Luann slowed down at this point, looking around frantically.

"They were here!" She panted, absolutely exhausted and her legs were visibly trembling. "I don't know where they've gone!"

"Get someone!" I commanded, racing out into the cold evening air shirtless, feeling the cold air resonate with the coldness I could feel clasping my chest. My throat felt tight and I struggled to get enough oxygen into my body as I ran and ran and ran.

"LENA!" I screamed into the night. "LENA!" Leave me a clue, Lena. Show me where you are. If I was expecting a sign post to explode from the ground, I was disappointed. I couldn't see anyone. I heard footsteps behind me and span round, ready to tear their throats out. Hanji crashed into me and grabbed my arms.

"Stop, Levi! It's too late!" She struggled furiously against my strength.

"She might still be here!" I yelled, freeing up one arm, but Hanji used both of hers to grasp the other. She planted her feet firmly in the ground.

"We need to sit back and think pragmatically." Hanji tried to make me see reason.

"SCREW pragmatically!" I shook her off easily and tried to run again. This time, Luann stepped in front of me and helped Hanji hold me back. I was not about to be defeated by two women.

"CORPORAL LEVI!" I stopped suddenly. Hanji had used my rank. Reason began to ease back into my mind, which seconds earlier had been almost that of an animal. I realised that she was right. The best thing we could do now was gather intel and plan our next move.

"I don't want to lose her..." I said, weakly. Hanji looked me in the eyes, determined.

"Levi, trust me." Her eyes darkened like they often did when it meant getting her hands dirty. "We'll get her back."

…

"This is one of three things:" Hanji announced to our new audience, consisting of Erwin, Mikasa, Armin and Jean. Luann was sat at the table too, still looking pale. "A ransom, which is unlikely; an interrogation, which I'm expecting it to be since Luca is involved here; or, Lena is bait."  
>"Bait for who?" Armin quickly verified, though most of the eyes in the room were already on me.<p>

"Humanity's strongest solider- Levi." Hanji said, holding my eyes. She was making it clear that she wasn't about to sugar coat her words. Lena would most likely come to harm in this incident. "If it's a ransom, then we need to figure out what Lena has that someone can gain. In this case, she's unlikely to come to any harm. If it's an interrogation, she'll most likely be tortured. Lena is close to Levi and is in the newly formed Levi Squad. She also has connections to the group of Military Police cadets who have been confirmed to be missing, making her an easy target. Thirdly, if she is bait, then she might not come to any harm..."

I gritted my teeth so hard I thought that my jaw would crack in two. It was so hard to fight the powerful urge to run outside after her. Torture? Torture?! The words flew around my head, flashing unwanted images onto my retinas.

"Luann," Hanji caught Luann's attention. "Can you tell us what you saw?" Luann nodded and leant forward. She closed her eyes, as though trying to desperately recall as much as possible.

"I saw Luca leading Lena outside. I thought it was suspicious and Levi had told me to keep an eye on Luca, so I followed them from a safe distance. When I got outside, I heard running and muffled screams and..." She paused, almost as if she was trying to regain her composure. "Luca was there, just standing and watching. I'm sure it was him. There were four others but I can't remember their faces at all. I think they were all men. I didn't know whether to help her or... or to get help. I-I... just ran to get Levi."  
>"You did the right thing." Hanji comforted. "No good would have come if our only witness was taken out." Luann let her head drop forward.<p>

"I hate the bitch, but she doesn't deserve this." I finally glanced around at the people at the table and saw Mikasa reading my expression. When we made eye contact, she held it for a second before looking away. All I'd ever felt from her was aggression, but it felt like she understood how I felt in that one second. After all, Eren had been missing countless times. She knew exactly how it felt to be separated from someone you want to protect.

"I've got people out there already searching for witnesses, clues and those Military Police cadets. Our next move should become apparent by tomorrow: if she's bait, they'll lead us to them. If not, there will be no trace."  
>"I'm not waiting until tomorrow." I announced, standing so quickly that the seat fell from beneath me.<p>

"I didn't think you would." Hanji half-smiled. "You do realise that we can't send you in there?" Before I could protest, Erwin stood up and forced me back into my seat with his stern gaze. I set the chair back on it's feet and sat down again.

"If they're after you, Levi, we can't let them have you. That's also the reason that Eren isn't here." Erwin didn't wait for me to argue back before continuing. "Casting personal emotions aside, we can't throw away our knights for a pawn, can we?" I hadn't been sat long but I was soon stood up again. My fist slammed onto the table.

"So you'll throw away a pawn then, is that it Erwin?" Erwin's eyes remained calm as I challenged him to agree. The moment he did, I was out of there and going after Lena alone. As if reading my mind, Hanji intervened again.

"We need to figure out if Lena has any information of value." Erwin decided to sit and the heated atmosphere between us fizzled into nothing again. I knew I was being irrational. If this was anyone else, I'd be saying the same things as Hanji and Erwin. "Levi, have you told Lena anything private regarding the legion?" I thought seriously about it. I wasn't the type to blab anything to anyone, but she could definitely have learnt one or two things through what'd we'd been through.

"She was in my squad, so she was part of the underground intel operation. Also, she knew about the MP spies. Apart from duty related information, she knew nothing."

"You're positive?"

"That's the truth." I acknowledged.

"Then she had nothing of value to tell the MP."

I felt dizzy. My head swam with the pressure that thundered in my temples. If she knew nothing, she'd become useless.

She'd be killed.

Or, they'd torture her more to see if she was hiding something. Either way, in this case knowing information was much better than knowing nothing. I felt sick, leaning forward in my seat and hunching my shoulders. I wouldn't let those bastards get to her. I wouldn't let them take her from me.

She must be terrified. I imagined her eyes screaming out for help as she sobbed. I imagined blood and pain and the cracking of bones. I imagined her calling out my name over and over, begging me to save her. I didn't want to imagine any more. I wanted to wake up and this be another nightmare and Lena would appear at my door, smiling like she did. Such a mischievous brat without a care in the world at times. I wanted Lena to be in my arms again. I wanted to kiss her again.

"Levi?" Hanji touched my shoulder lightly to bring me out of my trance. I leaned against the table and tried to breathe slowly whilst Hanji gently rubbed my back. I felt like a kid again. I had never shown this side of me to anyone- it was unthinkable that whilst new cadets were sat there and commander Erwin, I was breaking down. I took three more seconds - one, two, three – then sat upright and set my face into it's usual cold scowl.

"So what are we going to do?" I demanded.

**AN:**

**Eh... I'm so sorry...**

**Anyway, Malorie Blackman's racial dystopia book 'Noughts and Crosses helped me write this chapter. It's honestly a great book and if you like my style of writing e.g. romance but with loads of death and sadness and things that basically ruin the character's lives, then read her book. It's honestly a work of art and made me cry. There's a few books that follow on from it too and it's written from two character POVs like mine, about a world where blacks rule over the whites and people are forming rebellion groups. She takes a lot of historical facts and twists them so that you can see how she glorifies black people and demises whites in a society that calls itself equal... You can totally relate it to real life.**

**Such meaning, much sadness. **

**Moving on. Two chapters at once! Yey! I hope this got your heart beating fast! I deliberately added a LeviLena moment just before she was taken away from him... ehe. I like being a cruel writer. **


	20. CRIMSON BOW AND ARROW 2

**LENA-**

I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or waking. I'd open my eyes, then fall back into unconsciousness before having the chance to really see anything. I vaguely remembered the minutes before, hearing voices and doors opening. Then, I'd drift back into a trance once more. It took all my willpower to force myself to wake up.

I shifted my arms, trying to break free from sleep paralysis; my hands were tied. They were numb, like I'd been in this position for a long time and it took several moments of confusion to realise they were behind my back. I pushed my chest out to strain against the bonds, before feeling all my strength being sapped out of me. I collapsed back into what I realised what a chair, moaning in pain.

"She's waking." A hazy voice muttered across the room. "You're up. Get her talking."

"Yessir." The sound of a door closing caused me to jolt. I blinked open my eyes which ached with the urge to shut them. I wanted to sleep, but before I could let this notion wash over me, something grabbed my arm and hoisted it into the air, cracking my back as it forced my shoulder blades into an awkward position. I gasped and tried to kick my legs to escape, finding that they were also tied. I couldn't feel much from my waist down. Just how long had I been here?

...Where was 'here'?

"Wake up, young lady." Someone whispered. It was a friendly voice. I stirred and finally managed to force my eyes awake again. I straightened my head and took in the figure crouched before me. The man smiled. He was young, with cropped brown hair in a militaristic fashion... but he wasn't scary. "What's your name?" He gently rested my arm back down and moved the object in his hand back out of sight.

"Lena... Hertz." My voice was croaky. I stretched as much as I could within the bonds and blinked myself awake. "Where am I?"

"You were kidnapped, but you're safe now." The man smiled again. I decided the man wasn't a threat- after all, I was getting such a warm sensation from him.

"Safe..." I repeated. "Is Levi here?"

"Who's Levi?" The man quickly responded. I frowned.

"Everyone knows Levi." I gradually realised that the sensation I felt now felt similar to being drunk. My words were slow and slurred, but my body felt even slower. It was like my blood had been turned into mercury, clogging up my arms and making them feel like dead weights.

"Tell me about Levi." The man said, pulling up a chair before me so that he could sit on it. "Is he important?"

"Very." I smiled. "Important to me."

"What is his job?"

"Humanity's strongest... something. Strongest..."

"Soldier?" The man finished for me, eager to talk.

"Yeah!... Levi is strong."

"Is he high ranked? Does he have an important job?"

"He does all sorts..." I mumbled, feeling content. I wanted to drift back into sleep and ignore all the confusion I felt, but the man hit my face lightly. "He has secret missions and stuff."

"Oh cool!" He said. I suddenly realised I didn't know who he was.

"Who are you?"

"And what type of missions does he have?" I pouted to myself that he had ignored me, but felt compelled to keep talking.

"I don't know. Stuff." I shrugged.

"Do you know anything about Commander Erwin?" My eyes shot open. "Tell me about your family. Your father was a farmer, wasn't he?" I was no longer comfortable with this. I finally looked around and saw the cold, stone room I was sat in. The man before me was staring forcefully. He wasn't kind at all.

"Where am I?" I asked, coming out of my drunken state.

"Answer the question. What do you know about Levi and Erwin?"

"Get off!" I yelled. "HELP!" The man stood up and laughed.

"Where the hell do you think you are?! No one is on your side here." The door opened and another uniformed man entered.

"Did it work?" he asked.

"No sir. I think it's going to take more than drugs to get her to spill what she knows."  
>"But she's definitely that girl? The one that's close to Levi?"<p>

"Yeah, it's her. She was practically drooling whilst talking about him."

I fought against the ropes and felt them burn into my wrists. It felt like my bones would break before the rope. My fingers bent as far as they could towards the rope, but could barely scratch the knot. My legs were in a similar predicament.

"Move onto plan B then." The man who had just entered said. He walked out again adding, "have fun." The man before me span around my chair to face the opposite wall of the room... and I saw the arrangement of tools and weapons before me.

"That was the nice method." He grinned. "Now tell us everything you know, or this is going to get much, much harder for you."

"I don't know anything." I said, trying to look as confident as possible. "It was a waste of time kidnapping me. You won't find anything out from me."

"It's not a waste of time." He bared his teeth in a sadistic grin, rifling through a drawer of knifes and selecting one that looked more like a scalpel. "We get you, who's close to Levi and an easy target. I doubt we'd be able to kidnap Levi if we tried! You've broken your arm, so you can't exactly fight back." I had forgotten that my arm was even broken. The trance-like sensation was wearing off and as soon as he mentioned my arm, it was like he'd broken the pain barrier and allowed everything to start flooding back to me again. "Levi will come running after you too. When he does..." The man raised his hands and snapped them shut like jaws...

"Nice visual metaphor." I rolled my eyes, attempting to be cocky.

"It is, isn't it? And anyway... there's one more thing we want from you." He leant forward so that I could see the stains on his teeth as he grinned. "Your father has caused us a hell of a lot of trouble. We've been looking for him for a while now..."

"My father?!" I gasped.

"Be a good girl and tell us where he is." The man squatted by my right hand side, grasping my hand. He was just out of sight, but I could still see his body vaguely when I turned my head. He twisted my right wrist so that my palm faced the ceiling. "Now, start talking when you feel ready." He commented like a doctor. "What do you want? A dragon? A unicorn?"

"W-what the hell you b-bastard!" I squirmed, heart racing. I felt a bead of sweat drip from my chin.

"What would Levi want you to have?..." He put a finger on his lips as though in deep thought. He was mad. This guy was dangerous. I couldn't stop staring at the scalpel in his hands that he casually waved about. "I know!" He laughed. "I'll write my name. Supposing you do escape... he'll see my name every time he touches you. You'll belong to me forever."

"I'm not even close to Levi!" The words raced out of my mouth in a panic. "It's totally one sided!"

"Ahh, it's a shame I don't believe you."

"Let go! Please let me go!" I pleaded.

"You know what you need to do to get released." He shrugged. "It's not my fault what happens if you don't."

I felt the blade go into my arm, thankfully missing the main arteries. I yelped but didn't dare move in case the blade slipped in further. Warm blood trickled quickly out in the wake of the blade as he doodled up my arm. I began to shake, biting my lip and whimpering.

"You're a brave girl." The man commented. "Most people would be begging me for mercy by now."

"You sadistic, vile bastard!" I shouted as loud as I could, tears starting to fall from my eyes. _Levi! Levi! Levi!_

"Stop." Behind me, I heard a familiar voice call.

"Sir!" The man stood up quickly.

"I need to talk to her in private before you continue." Luca walked closer and I flinched as I felt his hand on my shoulder. "She might talk to me."

"I understand, sir."

As soon as we were alone, I fired questions at him.

"Oniisan. What's going on?" He remained behind me with one hand on my shoulder. "Where's dad? Why are you doing this?!"

"I'm guessing you don't know." Luca said, softly. _Don't speak softly to me. Don't pretend you're the same brother that I used to know. _

"I need answers, Luca!" My voice was trembling and my arm throbbed in pain. I kept consoling myself with the fact that I'd been through worse. I'd felt worse pain. I could survive this.

"First, we'll stop the bleeding." Luca began untying my wrists gently. He made sure to retie my left wrist to the chair arm, tearing off the sleeve of his white shirt to halt the bleeding on my right wrist. I didn't look at it: I was too scared. From the corner of my eye, I saw the white material quickly stain red.

"Our sister and mother are being held in prison. The military police are looking for our father."

"M-Mother?!" I gasped, feeling suddenly sick.

"They told me if I didn't help them, then they'd kill them."  
>"But Luca-!" A wave of sickness flooded over me and the blood drained from my face. Shit... I was losing a lot of blood. My racing heart rate wasn't helping that either.<p>

"I'm sorry, Lena. The only way I could save my family was by sacrificing you." I still couldn't see Luca's eyes.

"BUT THEY'RE DEAD!" I screamed. "THEY'RE GONE! I WATCHED THEM BEING EATEN!" Panting furiously, in fear and frustration, I noticed that Luca had gone silent.

"You're lying..." Luca muttered. He jumped in front of me and clasped my cheeks in his hands. "You're lying!" He shouted again.

"I'm not! They're gone, they-!" I felt myself wretch. I was going to be sick.

"I SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE THEM!" He screamed at me; I'd never seen Luca lose his composure. "I SACRIFICED YOU!"

"THEY USED YOU, LUCA! AND YOU LET THEM!" I squeezed my wrist against the chair arm in an attempt to stop the flood of blood I could feel.

"What about dad?" His voice was small now- like a child's.

"I don't know." I said. He held my gaze, as though searching for the truth.

"I thought I was doing the right thing..." He whispered. "Even despite how much I loved you, if I could get back mum and our sister and dad..."

"Luca... let me out of here. We'll get back dad together." I thought I had convinced him. I listened to his silence and felt a spark of hope.

"I've devoted my life to the military police." He said. "We'll stop the legion. We'll stop Erwin and his rebellion." Luca turned away from me, finally beginning to calm himself. "I'd throw away my sister's life in order to save humanity... I have already prepared myself for these past five years. I'll take this to the very end."

"Then so be it." I said quietly. "From now on, you're not the brother I knew."  
>"I've not been that Luca for a long time, Lena." He smiled sadly. "See you again some day, little sis'." As he passed, he patted my head gently... like it was for the last time. I waited until I heard the door close, before howling out in pain.<p>

The wound on my wrist would heal, but the scar he'd left on my heart would stab me again and again, forever.

Luca...

**LEVI-**

"Hanji!" One of Hanji's soldiers burst into the room whilst we planned our next move. "We've found something!"

"Speak quickly!" I demanded, leaping out of my seat.

"There's a trail of material all the way from the end of a field outside into town."

"Material?" Hanji asked.

"We think it's part of a bandage of some sort. Then there's buttons... I didn't follow it to the end but it looks like she's left us a trail."  
>"Clever girl!" Hanji applauded. "Find out where it leads, but be careful!"<p>

"The rest of my team have continued along the trail. It's difficult to follow, since there's only a few shreds every 20 or so metres."

"Come back as soon as you know more." Hanji said, turning to smile at me. "We'll get her back, Levi. Look, we've already caught onto a trail."

"Then let's start the next part of the plan." I was hasty to get going, but knew this operation required patience and careful planning. We didn't know where a trap could lie in wait for us.

"My guess is that there won't be many people who know about this operation. It's too secretive for them to have the building guarded properly. There won't be anyone on the outside in case suspicion is raised. Just a few people looking out of windows and such. The majority of the building will be empty, with a strong and dense guard around where Lena is held captive."  
>"Sounds about right." I nodded. Her argument was logical.<p>

"The problem is we can't spread out our team. These guys won't be push overs." Hanji began tracing the desk with one figure, working out things in her head. "We'd have to concentrate our force and make an educated guess as to where Lena is, break in quickly using the confusion against them, take Lena then draw back."  
>"But if we get it wrong, we've lost the element of surprise and the odds are in their favour." Armin piped up. I had noticed that he was a sharp kid with tactical thinking skills that rivalled Erwin or Hanji. With just a bit more experience, he'd be a great asset to the corps.<p>

"Exactly. So we need a way to get around that."

"How about an attack on two fronts?" Armin suggested. "We have two teams. One team bursts in first and checks out any room at random. The enemy will concentrate their attack power on that team and all we need to do is buy time as the other team break in at the opposite end and search from there."

"I see!" Hanji nodded. "That way, if the first team find Lena then we can send the second team straight in to help. If not, then they hold off the enemy's main force whilst acting as a distraction."

"But how do we know they won't guess it's a distraction?" I asked, feeling sceptical.  
>"We use you." Armin said, clearly ready for this question. "They're expecting you to go after Lena. If you're part of the distraction, they won't guess that another team will be infiltrating elsewhere. Plus, if they truly are using this to trap you, then they'll definitely send their main force over, making it easier for the second team."<br>"Not bad." I nodded.

"The problem is, that leaves our strongest member playing back up." Hanji said.

"It does, but he'll be at the front of the action. We have the advantage of Mikasa here; she's strong but still relatively unknown. They wouldn't guess we'd use her. Jean too. If they form the second group, they can rival Levi's strength whilst he defeats as many of the enemy as possible. Levi acts as a honey pot to bees- there's no one else we can put in that position that can stand their ground with that many bees attacking."

"Plus Mikasa's quick thinking is perfect for the second team. If we had Armin in there too, they should be able to deal with any trouble they come across." Hanji said.

"Then let's quickly form the teams." I decided. "I have some recommendations to make."

…

**LENA-**

How long had I been here?

There were no windows in the room and so I was left with no way of recognising how much time had passed. No one had come in. I'd heard nothing but the sound of my own breathing for what felt like at least 6 hours. Was this another form of torture? Were they going to leave me on my own, without any food or water? My mouth felt dry. No matter how many times I swallowed, I couldn't get rid of the scratching sensation in my throat. I was completely drained of energy- I had never made it to dinner that night. It was probably the next day...

Would Levi have realised I was gone yet?

My stomach grumbled at me, so tight now that it was more of a pain than a feeling. The damp smell in the room was giving me a headache and I'd been sat for so long in the same position it was driving me mad. I wanted to stretch and crack my joints, take a deep breath in and allow the blood in my veins to flow naturally again.

"I'm back~" The door opened behind me with a creak. I froze. "Did you have fun on your own?"  
>"What's the point of this if I know nothing?" I croaked at him.<p>

"Give me the location of your father's documents and I'll let you have a drink." The man from earlier who had left the throbbing in my wrist stepped in front of me, offering out a bottle of water with the full knowledge that I couldn't move to grasp it. After Luca had gone, someone had come back in without a word to tie up my right arm, before leaving again. "Oh~" he looked in surprise at my wrist. "Someone's patched up your wound. Let me handle that for you." He slid his fingers under my wrist and ripped Luca's shirt sleeve from where I had staunched the blood flow with it. I yelled out as the material was ripped from my skin. The scab that had attempted to form reopened violently, letting blood begin to leak out again. "My bad." He shrugged.

I clenched my teeth and glared at him. Clearly, he didn't like the look in my eyes because he unscrewed the lid of the bottle and dripped some water across my forehead, holding my cheeks tightly so that I couldn't move. "You thirsty?" He asked, knowing the answer from how I squeezed shut my eyes to block out that glorious sensation of fluid flowing across my cold skin. He was teasing me, making my mouth fill with saliva in anticipation of water, but not allowing a single drop to enter my mouth. "I don't think you're thirsty enough." He sighed, replacing the lid. "People usually have a better reaction. I'll have to use this later when you're gagging for it."

"I have nothing to tell you." I said, letting my head drop forward as he released me.

"Aww~ come on. When your father came back from his little 'trips', where did he put his work?" The man struck my face with his hand so that my head snapped across. How did he know about dad's trips? Dad used to leave town a lot to meet friends. He'd never tell me where he was going or who he was meeting... At the time I never considered it suspicious. Not even when I had encountered my parents arguing over it.

"I don't know."

"Tell me." He hit me again, harder this time. I felt my neck crack and my cheek burned. I wasn't going to cry though.

"No." THWACK.

"Tell. Me." He repeated, preparing his fist to hit me again.

"No." I said again, bracing myself for the next hit. When it didn't come, I opened my eyes a crack.

The man towered over me with a knife, sending my heart plummeting into my feet. He slashed four times as I forced my eyes shut... but I felt no pain. When I looked up, I realised he had slashed the ropes on my hands, feet and stomach. I stumbled out of the chair and grasped the wooden back in my hands, using it both as support and a barrier between me and him. My legs shook with the sudden movement and I felt dizzy, stars blinking into my vision. Ropes clung to me as they untangled themselves slowly. He stepped forward.

"It's more fun when they run." He smiled.

…

**LEVI-**

Kurt just stared at me blankly, his hands dropping to his side. The morning after Lena's kidnapping, I had withdrawn Guthrie and Kurt from their usual training and told them the news. I allowed my eyes to drift over to Guthrie's face, watching his face twist into a chiselled, hardened expression of anger.

"Lena's... brother?" Kurt muttered, still in shock. "She's been kidnapped?"

"Where have they taken her?!" Guthrie demanded.

"Calm down." I ordered, severely irritated. "I recommended you two to be part of the rescue operation, since you scored well on your intake."

"What are they going to do to her?" Guthrie ignored the authority in my voice. Kurt quickly pulled himself together and nudged Guthrie.

"Let's listen to the plan, Guth. He said this happened last night, so I'm sure he's come to us with a plan."

"He's a smart one," I noted sarcastically. "Armin and Hanji are formulating the details, but we've pretty much figured out what we're going to do. We move out tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow morning?!" Guthrie clenched his fist. Exasperated, Kurt ran a hand through his hair.

"I could just as easily have you pulled out of this plan." I spat viciously. His eyes hardened and he attempted to stare me out. "Put those puppy eyes away." I glowered back, stepping closer to him. "I don't like this as much as you don't, but we have to do this properly."

"So what do we have to do?" Kurt asked. I liked the look in his eyes; a look of determination; a look that said failure was not an option. Guthrie on the other hand was agitated and thinking less practically than I had expected him to.

"You'll be part of team two. There are two squads in this mission- Light Squad and Dark Squad. The Light will draw the attention and put squad two into the shadows."  
>"A distraction?"<br>"Exactly." I nodded. "Shadow will consist of yourselves, Jean, Mikasa and Armin. Light is myself, Connie, Sasha, Hanji and Stein."

"Three squad leaders? Isn't that risky?"

"We're going all out." I smirked, suddenly feeling a pang of determination that had deserted me for a long time. "There's a second aim to this mission which Erwin proposed."

"A second objective?"

"Find Lena and ensure her safety... And capture the military police spies."  
>"You mean, Lena's brother?"<p>

"The Military Police thought that they could get away with spying on and kidnapping members of our legion. So we're going to make that plan backfire and use the spies for information."

"Ten people can't possibly get away with capturing five MPs though. They might not even be there."  
>"We're basing this on opportunity. If Luca is in sight, capture him. If not, leave ASAP."<p>

"Our main objective should just be to make sure Lena is safe!" Guthrie broke into our conversation, clearly disgusted. He obviously thought we were using Lena's capture to get our own back on the MPs.

"What you need to understand is that there's no way that Erwin would let us go after Lena with the strongest members of the legion if there wasn't anything he could gain. Erwin won't throw away his knights for a pawn."

"This is ridiculous!" Guthrie slammed his fist into the wall.

"Erwin works for the sake of humanity." I raised my voice, knowing full well that Guthrie was reacting just like I had. I was such a hypocrite. "No matter what your personal feelings are, this is what we're doing. If you have any problems then you're out of the plan."

"...No." Guthrie exhaled deeply. "No problems, sir."  
>"Good."<p>

…

**LENA-**

I lay on the floor, feeling his heavy boot crunch into my side over and over. With each kick, I felt winded and I could feel the area of tissue he'd hit screaming in protest. I tried to scamper to my feet between his kicks, but he left no time for recovery. I rolled onto my back and swung my arms for his foot. He was caught off guard and retreated a step to get out of my range. I took this chance to push myself quickly onto my feet, crouched low and panting hard. Each breath stung my side and I wondered if he had in fact broken anything. My ribs were in severe pain but I still had the strength to stand...

It was probably fear that fuelled my muscles.

"Even if you fight back, it's futile!" He bellowed at me. I staggered side ways as a wave of nausea erupted within me. When my vision was cleared, I took a deep breath. _Calm. Be calm. _I looked around surreptitiously, searching for a weapon or shield I could improvise. All the drawers containing some of his equipment were locked, and the rest were pretty much useless. The only drawer that was open was the one where he had selected the knife earlier. It was then that I noticed the line of blood across the floor, following me. I glanced down and saw that my arm was trickling blood still.

_There's nothing I can do about that. I can't exactly call for a time out while I patch it up. _

He lunged towards me again, throwing his fist towards my stomach. I deftly side stepped away and ran across the room. He shifted his balance into his heel and charged after me as I flew over to my only hope. My fingers contacted the wooden drawer and I quickly tried to grasp one of the blades lined out within it. Huge hands wrapped around my stomach and dragged me backwards. My fingers trailed across the blade, frantically trying to grasp it. He threw me across the room with immense strength and the whole room span as I rolled across the floor, feeling my limbs lose their strength and fall limply into place when the momentum had stopped pushing me along the stones.

I laid there, feeling the world slip away. The booming of my heart; the ragged gasps for air I took; the footsteps striding closer: they all faded into nothing. Silence floated around me as I was taken away from the pain.

**AN:**

**I finished my writing spree and went on word count to find this chapter was 6,000 words and counting haha, so I cut it down. The next chapter is half done already because of how much I wrote!**

**I'm not good at writing about strategies and logic, so planning their counter-attack has been just as hard as it was for Hanji and Levi :L Oh and I had a go at drawing Lena and Levi, but I can't show you guys because it's the last few scenes in what I have planned for my sequel. That's just one MASSIVE spoiler haha. I might draw something else and put a link to my deviantart so you can see if you're curious as to how Lena appears in my head. Or, you can send me a link to your own art! Ah, I'll reply to a few reviews since I haven't done so in a while!**

**Nixie The Blood Pixie- yay for Denmark from me too! Thanks for teaching me that word; I really love learning new languages. Fantastisk! I wouldn't know how to say it aloud though :D Thanks for reading!**

**ArrowsIronJr- I like writing things that get your heart beating and I love being an unpredictable author, so I think of what the reader thinks like 'this is the main character so they won't die', or 'this won't happen' etc and then make it happen bwhahah! But if someone did that to me like Hajime Isayama (mangaka for snk) then I'd be a nervous wreck reading it haha.**

**MidMorningSong- One of your favourite characters? Mine?! (blushes) Thank you! I'm glad you like Lena!**

**IKhandoZatman- Yes I love the word whilst and other old English words that have been lost on our current generations! But if you met me in real life I have a vocabulary that rival's that of a ten year old's. **

**Don't forget to review if you like my story! ;D**

**I leave you with this inspirational quote-**

"**Look around Eren, at all these big-ass trees."**


	21. CHASE IT- DON'T LET THE ENEMY ESCAPE 1

**NORMAL-**

The man slowed his strides over to the girl as he realised she had stopped moving. Her limbs were twisted uncomfortably and even when he lifted her by the collar, he realised she wasn't reacting. Her body was much heavier than it had been all day. He dropped her callously and jabbed her in the side so that she rolled onto her back. He booted her once again to make sure she wasn't conscious, then knelt by her side and checked her breathing.

"Still kickin' then." He grunted, impressed. It wasn't often he had to deal with women- especially not young girls. She was only a few years his junior. He was used to getting information out of middle-aged men who were dealing in nasty business. The man didn't feel this was just- his sense of evil flat-lined around her. Although he knew just how much of a nuisance her father had been to the MP, he decided that this was the toughest job he'd had in a long time. Usually, he felt compelled to serve justice to those drug dealers, rebels and spies. This just felt... wrong.

But a job was a job and if he was a man with a conscience, he wouldn't have lasted long in this business.

He heard the door unlock and open, watching as the girl's brother appeared again.

"Sir, she's unconscious." He said, feeling like he was stating the obvious slightly. What he wanted to say was 'stop interrupting and get out'.

"She needs to be kept alive. You understand that, don't you?"

"Yeah, well. She'll be fine when she wakes up. Just give her time."

"What about that wound on her arm? What if it gets infected?"  
>"Then she loses an arm." The man shrugged. He didn't trust this man. After all, he was her <em>brother. <em>This either meant he was a twisted, heartless man, or someone who couldn't be trusted. He might turn tail and bust her out of there at any minute. Either way, he wasn't to be trusted.

"The scouting legion have had people on our trail all day. So far, they haven't found this place but they've been unusually close."

"Well about that," the torturer began, moving to one of his tables and lifting up the remains of a bandage. "When I took this sling off her, bits and pieces were missing everywhere. And her shirt's missing a few buttons." Luca kept staring at Lena's body, showing no expression.

"It was a bit of a fight getting her here." He commented. "She might have lost a few along the way."  
>"I don't think so. I think she's left a trail." Luca's eyes suddenly shot wide open. "You sure she was unconscious when you transported her?" Luca didn't respond, possibilities flying around his head.<p>

"If that's the case, the legion will be onto us pretty soon." He muttered, for once looking anxious. "I'll report this to the boss." He swiftly span around and strode out of the room.

"Much good that'd be." The man muttered under his breath, returning to the girl's body and prodding it. "Did'ya hear that? Your prince charming is coming on his white steed. That doesn't mean I can't teach you the meaning of pain before he arrives, though."

**LENA- **

I came around the the feeling of running water across my forehead. My stomach was cramped, turning in on itself and contorting as it groaned in hunger. My mouth was drier than ever. A glass of water right now would be like a drop of heaven. I felt completely out of it. I opened my eyes slowly, seeing a figure hunched over me.

"You thirsty yet?" He asked, halting the flow of water he'd been allowing to flow onto my skin. I reached out for the cup but he just moved his arm away. "I take that as a yes." He grasped my cheeks again and I knew exactly what he was going to do. My body felt too broken to react as he dropped water onto my forehead. Painfully, I reached out again for the water but he moved it away. My face scrunched up like I was about to cry, but I knew I didn't have enough moisture to form tears. I whimpered and tried to turn my face away. He held me tightly and continued to drip the liquid onto my forehead.

"I can't-" I coughed as my voice came out quiet and husky. "I don't know anything."

"Tell me about your father."

"He was a good man! A farmer and that's all he did." I was confused. At this point, I would probably tell him everything about my father- his birth date, favourite shirt... But I just couldn't recall anything of value to anybody. "Luca knows it too." I tried to roll onto my side but a burst of pain shot into my ribs. I coughed frantically, scraping air through my throat into my lungs.  
>"Luca tried to find your father's papers for years, but your father was too secretive. Even in front of his own children."<p>

"Then why should I know?" I complained in frustration. Why were they doing this to me?

"Because Luca claims you saw something." The man said, knowing that he had just crushed me internally. Luca had ratted me out. Luca had lied. _Why, Luca? Why did you lie to them?_

"And you believe him?" I croaked. He shrugged in reply, clearly uncaring either way.  
>"My boss believes him and that's all I need to know."<p>

Suddenly, a black haze descended into my vision and I felt myself drifting away from reality. I struggled to stay awake, hearing the man calling me-

"Oi, stay awake." He said, prodding my side. The black blanket thickened and didn't pass. The man became further and further away from me. "Oi?!"

**LEVI-**

We had been notified that the search squad had found what they expected to be the building Lena was kept in. It was a run down barn in the middle of fields. As far as the eye could see, grass plains panned out from either side of it, save for the line of trees on one side signifying the start of a large forest. Intel told us that there was an underground basement to this barn that the farmer had once used for illegal purposes. Ever since the military police had arrested the owner, the barn had remained empty. Myself and Hanji were currently mapping out our plan on paper.

"She'll be in the basement." Hanji quickly affirmed. "The barn has two ways of getting inside- the front door and the escape hatch."

"Where does the escape hatch lead?" I asked.

"My guess would be directly into the basement. It'll be a narrow passageway somewhere around the back. We gathered the reports of the siege and it states that the owner first escaped through this hatch and was later caught in town."

"So we send Shadow in here?"

"No, that's what they're expecting. We send Light in here, posing as the main attack force. Then, once the fight has commenced, we send Shadow in the main door which should have an entrance somewhere to the basement."  
>"What about traps?"<br>"They won't set any." Hanji was certain. "The passageway is too narrow and they need to be able to get out at any time. Plus, they have no idea when we're coming. It's too impractical."

"Then what's their plan?" I asked, unsure on what kind of benefit the MP could get out of using an old barn.

"A simple rat trap. They lure you, Levi, into the place where Lena is kept and then pull some kind of trick. Maybe tear gas or something. They want you, so getting in will be the easy part. Getting out is more difficult."

"Then won't Shadow be trapped?"

"They will have someone guarding Lena, so that if anyone other than you try to get her, he can take them down until they get that chance to capture you."

We continued debating, planning and casting around ideas until it became night time and it was time to gather everyone together.

"We move out in three hours." I said to the group we'd gathered and briefed. "This will all be over in five hours time. There is no option for failure."

"Yes sir!"

…

**LENA-**

_Dad's study room was something that fascinated me. It always had. Father didn't allow us to go in there, and even mother wasn't allowed to set foot in to clean. I sat outside his door once more, peering on my stomach under the gap between the wooden frame and the floor. I couldn't hear anything and all I saw was a line of light where dad had lit a candle. Quickly becoming bored, I knocked on the door and called out._

"_Dad?" He didn't reply. I rapped again louder, hearing the door rattle on its hinges. "Dad?" Curiosity overwhelmed me and I tried the handle. To my great surprise and even greater excitement, it was open. Pushing the door back and peering into the darkened room, I saw Dad sprawled over his desk. He had clearly fallen asleep whilst working. I scuttled over to him and took the opportunity to look around. There wasn't much to see- just piles of papers and books stacked high from floor to ceiling. Dad was clearly working hard on something. I stood on my tip toes to read the papers he had been writing. _

_'The Wallists', 'Wall Religion', 'Titans'..._

"_Boring." I pouted. "Why is Dad looking at something so boring?"_

"_Lena!" Someone hissed from the doorway. "Come out before Dad sees you!" I looked over to Luca and beamed. _

"_Luca-!"_

"_Shh!" He interrupted. Dad stirred but did not wake. I glanced around the room one final time, before hopping back outside skipping to Luca's side. _

"_Don't you want to see too?" I asked Luca, who shut the door behind us as quietly as possible. Luca didn't reply._

…

The dream faded away and I became aware of a tingling sensation across my side. I realised that the whole of one side of my body had turned to ice from the freezing cold stones I was laid on. Wearily, I forced my eyes open and took a deep, shaky breath. Taking in my surroundings, I guessed I was alone again. I didn't have the energy to move. My throat burned. My stomached ached. My chest hurt. My wrist throbbed. My heart ached.

"I want to go home." I muttered, miserably. All of a sudden, I became aware of voices outside. I tuned into the anxious tones and commanding shouts echoing from behind the door.

"They're here! Get ready!"

"Levi and his team have been spotted!"

"You there, get yourself over to the front squad!"

"Yessir!"

"Why aren't you with the girl?!"  
>"I'm just on my way back, sir."<p>

I jolted at the voice I recognised and fear welled up inside of me. There was enough terror racing through my blood to flood Sina as I heard the door click open again. Squeezing my eyes shut, I focussed on controlling my breathing. He'd leave me alone as long as I played dead.

"The mighty Levi has arrived to save your sorry ass." I felt my breath hitch. Levi. Levi was here. "Ahh, so you _are _awake. Just so you know, it won't be long until he's captured and goes through exactly what you've been subjected to until now."

"Don't... touch him." I commanded with false bravado. I felt his presence behind me, looming ominously like a ghost.

"Be a good girl and play bait, will you? Ahh," he pulled on my shirt so that I rolled onto my back. I caught his gaze with mine. "You look far too healthy for me to let Levi see you."

"Levi's strong." I swallowed, feeling my throat swell against the dry ball lodged within it. I coughed, still trying to glare back at him with my new-found hope. If Levi had come for me, I'd be fine.

"He is. But we know his weakness." The man laughed, tugging on my cheek and allowing his nails to scape my skin. "Do you?"

I knew it. I knew it ridiculously well.

…

**KURT-**

"Light squad have entered the secret door and have commenced the counter attack." Hanji reported, panting as she came to a halt from her run. We hid in the ferns within the forest surrounding the right side of the barn, ducking low. "In a few minutes, get across to the front entrance and find Lena as soon as possible. I'll be in the tree line over there so that I can see both entrances. If you come across Luca or one of the MP spies, capture them. That prioritises over Lena."

I scoffed internally and knew that Hanji was aware as much as I was that both teams would choose Lena over anything else. We had to follow orders and pretend that Lena was a side task, but in reality our only objective was to make her safe again. Well, I suppose I could only definitely state that for half of the group- myself, Levi and Guthrie included. Maybe Stein also. On the other hand, Armin and Mikasa barely knew Lena and they'd been through so much already that their hearts must be made of concrete. I couldn't be sure that they'd support us in finding her if the opportunity to capture Luca arose.

One thing was for certain though: we weren't leaving here without her.

I cast my eyes over to Guthrie, who hadn't been calm since he'd found out the news. He sat chewing his thumb, just dying to race in there. He wasn't acting objectively and that worried me. As skilled as he was, he was rash as hell. When I first met him, I thought he was just trying to play the hero; I thought he wanted to be that prince riding in to danger to save everyone. But as I got to know him, I realised that it was his conscience - not his ego - that made him act like he did. He was so soft emotionally that I think if he ever had to make the decision to sacrifice someone for victory, he'd have a heart attack and die himself before he'd figure out what to do.

He looked over sharply and nodded at me. In all this time I'd been worrying, the signal had been given. Hanji tapped me on the back as I prepared to run.

"Break a leg." She smiled.

"Go!" Mikasa hissed, breaking out of the tree line first. Guthrie reacted like his feet had been set alight, sprinting straight after her. Armin, Jean and I set off behind them. I dashed as quickly as possible, constantly darting my eyes around for danger. The run from safety through no man's land kick started the adrenaline within my system. I hadn't felt his scared since the last expedition. Ava's face appeared in my head, smiling. _Save her, Kurt. _Her face said. _You couldn't save me, could you?_

I cursed.

The instant we burst through the barn doors, Mikasa had taken out the two on guard before they even had a chance to scream. Even though we weren't fighting titans, I felt bare without my 3DMG. We had each been given knives and a gun. Our instructions were only to kill if someone inhibited our mission, but I wouldn't be able to pull the trigger if I wanted to.

It didn't take long before we found the hatch into the basement and raced down the steps. I was shocked at how large the basement was- it seemed more like the underground passageways we'd been through with Levi. In fact, my intuition suggested that it was previously part of that underground network... Maybe it still was, or maybe it had become detached at some point.

"Concentrate, Kurt!" Guthrie yelled. "You're doing that thing again!" Ahh, I was. Whenever I was stressed, I found myself over-thinking things.

"I'm fine!" I shouted back. Once again, Mikasa struck down two guards who ran towards us down the corridor. One of them got back up and made a swing for her, but she quickly knocked him backwards and continued running. We raced on behind her. It appeared as though they had been stationed in twos, so we could suggest that there would be two people with Lena.

"Kurt!" Guthrie shouted again.

"Shut up I'm fine! Stop worrying!" I gritted my teeth.

"Don't hold us back." Mikasa called from the front. I rolled my eyes.

"No ma'am."

"Two doors on either side!" Armin interrupted, and indeed there was four doors ahead of us just before a turn in the corridor. "Me and Mikasa will get the first left. Kurt and Guthrie the first right. Jean hold off in the corridor."

We all shouted back affirmative and Guthrie reached our door before I did. He tried to door handle, which opened easily and Guthrie dived inside. I followed swiftly after, but as expected, Lena wasn't there. It was simply a store cupboard. I gulped and a bead of sweat ran down my face as I spotted the torture equipment stacked casually on shelves. Branders, pliers and all sorts of blood stained equipment- I had no time to waste though. We charged back into the corridor and tried the second door, which also opened easily. Again, nothing of importance was in there. Looking across to Armin who had just come out of the opposite doors, he shook his head.

"Mikasa!" Jean bellowed, withdrawing his knife as two sets of footsteps echoed towards us.  
>"In here!" Armin hissed back, dragging Jean and Mikasa into the room they had just searched. Guthrie leapt after them, but I stepped backwards into the door closest to me. We both closed the doors and listened intently as the footsteps pounded ever closer. <em>I hope to God that they don't come here. <em>I prayed knowing that alone, I didn't stand a chance. I heard the men kick open a door and the sound of Mikasa's fighting calls sliced across the hallway.

They'd found them. More footsteps appeared and I heard Armin shout desperately "Mikasa and Guthrie, take those three! I'll get the others with Jean!"

"Be careful, Armin!" Mikasa yelled back. I cracked open the door just enough to see through. Across the corridor, flashes of skin whipped back and forth as my team fought with what looked like five intruders. The corridor was clear. I took the opportunity and ran.

Along the way, I kicked open door after door. There was no sign of Lena. I felt terrified alone, but running seemed to drain the panic from my limbs. Eventually, I reached a locked door and blasted the lock with my gun. The door swung open on it's hinges and I stepped recklessly inside.

"I've been waiting-... What? It's not Levi." Someone turned to face me, holding something limp in a vice-like grip. It's legs dangled from the floor and blood dripped from an open wound somewhere. I aimed my gun at him and he laughed. "You won't fire when I've got her life in my hands, would you?" He smiled, sadistically. I finally looked at the face of what he was holding.

And I felt my stomach lurch.

"L... Lena?" I gasped, taking in her beaten body. She had been battered so much her face was almost unrecognisable. I searched her figure desperately for a sign of life, but her eyes were closed and if she was even breathing, it was so faint that her chest barely moved.

"Didn't recognise her, huh? Well, that's my handy work. Now, run and get Levi for me or I'll slit her throat and put her out of her misery." I lowered the gun and shook.

"Lena?" I called louder, hoping for some sort of response. Still nothing. I had to do something. I suddenly remembered something. "Like FUCK I'd let you do that!" I charged forward as his eyebrows rose in surprise. He expected some type of physical attack, dropping Lena so that he had both hands to take me out. His eyes widened as I stopped just metres from him and raised the gun at his head. It wasn't the gun from earlier. It was a special scouting legion colour smoke grenade. And the smoke was now heading straight for his face.

Once he'd been knocked backwards, I wasted no time in scooping Lena up and running out of the door. I stopped only to pull her onto my back so that I was grasping her wrists. I felt something warm leak across my fingers and realised I had grasped and re-opened a wound on her wrist. But I didn't stop running. I had no idea where my team had gone, frantically sprinting back out of the basement and across the field to the trees. I looked back momentarily, seeing the man I'd knocked out charging after me with a streak of fresh blood coursing down his cheek.

"SHIT!" I yelled, trying to will my legs to move faster. I was surprised I was even breathing enough to be awake as I drew in sharp breaths in panic. I dove into the trees and made a split second decision. Dropping Lena into the ferns I turned back to face him and whipped out my gun. He caught up quickly and stopped in front of me.

"You want to tango, boy?" He asked, grinning. "I know your type. You won't pull that trigger."

"You're not having Lena!" I bellowed back, hoping that if I shouted louder, the waver in my voice would be covered up.

"You know, I didn't expect Erwin to send out two groups. You caught us off guard with that gamble."

"GET BACK!" I threatened, finger caressing the trigger like a security blanket.

"If you run now, I won't kill you." He tried to bargain with me.

"Fuck you!"

"Well, can't say I didn't warn you." He smiled.

**AN: Variety of POVs in this, including Kurt for a change ooh~! Sorry for the late update! Hope you enjoy it :D**


	22. CHASE IT- DON'T LET THE ENEMY ESCAPE 2

**LEVI-**

As we expected, they were waiting for us. We scaled the steps into the basement and prepared ourselves behind the door. The moment Stein burst through the entranceway, fists began to fly.

"GET LEVI!" One man, who assumed was the leader, screamed as he charged forward.

"Get fucked!" I replied with my foot, smashing it straight into his jewels. Connie shied away from the fray, wincing. "You two, leave this to us." I commanded. "I'll create a pathway so you can get in, then look for Lena."

"H-hai!" Connie and Sasha saluted nervously as I casually struck an assailant sharply down the nose with my elbow.

"Five, six, seven..."

"There's eleven." Stein shouted from across the room, narrowly dodging a knife slash.

"Ten." I corrected as I flipped a man who charged at me, using his own speed against him and hearing a loud crack as he hit the floor, out cold. I blocked a low kick with my forearm before grasping their foot and swinging them around. "Come on, you bunch of pigs!" I challenged, looking them directly in the eyes as the attacks slowed. They encircled me, wearily. I heard footsteps behind me and leant forward to deliver a back kick into the attacker's stomach. They coughed, staggering backwards. I span quickly around and took his head in my hands, simultaneously throwing my knee up and bringing his face down so that both smacked together. He collapsed to the floor. "Nine!"

"Eight!" Stein also brought one down with a simple but effective right hook.

"You two!" I called to Connie and Sasha, who still hadn't taken the opportunity to bolt. "GO!"

Our attackers leapt out to stop them as they ran, but I took each of them down with help from Stein.

"LEVI!" A familiar, female voice yelled. I stopped abruptly and span around in the chaos. I watched as a female brought her knife up, one eye split between a sky-blue and an earth-brown. In this moment of recognition, my movements halted. Alexis sliced through my shirt, the blade of the knife licking my stomach so that blood began to leak out. Thankfully, it wasn't a deep wound and I snapped back into action, sidestepping aside.

"Alexis?!..." Realisation hit me. I'd known for a while... but it had never struck me. Alexis, Wulf, Otto and Sigi... They were also our enemies. They had also kidnapped Lena. "You traitorous bitch!"

"I didn't know either!" She shouted back, stepping towards me again with her blade. I dodged her attack and kicked her in the stomach. She spluttered and regained her balance, bearing the knife in front of her. "Until that night, I didn't know!"

"What are you on about, bitch?!" My anger was building and my movements were becoming rash. I flung a hook at her but before it contacted her face, I swiftly moved it out of the way as she brought her knife up again. Just a second too late. There was a splatter as my blood hit the floor and I clutched the fresh wound on my biceps.

"Levi! Focus!" Stein yelled. He tried to make his way over, but was bombarded with attacks from both sides forcing him to retreat.

"Luca approached us that night and asked us to help him kidnap Lena." Alexis took a deep breath, steadying herself ready to attack again.

"And you fucking said YES?!"

"I did!" She shouted back, slashing forward again and again as I deftly dodged each. "I'd follow Luca to hell!"

"This world already IS hell!" With one swift movement, I smacked the knife from Alexis' hand and heard it clatter aside. She withdrew, bringing up her small fists.

"Wulf refused and he was killed."  
>"What?"<p>

"I volunteered for Luca, but the rest were blackmailed into it." I felt my head snap to the right as someone took advantage of my complete concentration on Alexis. Their fist impacted my chin and I nearly bit my tongue. Before they could retreat out of the way, I grabbed their wrist and twisted it until something cracked. I heard a yelp of pain, before kicking the man violently into the floor. A rush of adrenaline pounded through me. I was beginning to lose control of the strength of my attacks.

"None of this matters." I spat, blocking her kick and reacting with my own. The impact pushed her rearwards and she landed on her back. Hastily, she rolled over to stand up but I kicked her back down again.

"I... just wanted you to know." She panted, finally looking at me in the eyes and holding my gaze as I placed my boot on her throat. "Up until that point, we didn't lie to you. I honestly- KK!" She spluttered and gasped for breath as I increased the weight on her throat. "I-I honestly... didn't... think I was lying... to you." She forced the words through her narrowed airway.

Should I be feeling sympathy? Should there be guilt in my heart right now?

Lena's terrified eyes appeared in my head, screaming out for help as someone gagged her. Bruised and battered limbs reached out for me...

No. I shouldn't feel sympathy.

Her neck cracked and she fell silent. I realised that I had broken her neck. Looking down, her eyes were still open... though I doubt they could see anything. Her neck was twisted where my foot had sharply pounded down and cracked the bone.

And I felt nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

I looked up and saw Luca had entered the battle. He was looking down at Alexis... expressionlessly. When he raised his eyes to meet mine, he wasn't angry. He wasn't upset. His comrade had been killed in front of his very own eyes... and he looked back at me indifferently.

I finally felt a spark of emotion light up within me, bounding across the room with my hands itching to grasp his throat. He brought his hands up ready to defend-

"Woah!" Stein pulled me aside and pinned my arms behind my back. "Let's calm down, shall we?" He said. I thrashed in his grasp, not taking my eyes of Luca. "Levi, I need you to think straight. _Lena _needs you to think straight." I stopped resisting, letting my arms relax. Stein released me and glanced back at Alexis' body. He gulped. "L-levi, I'll fight Luca and you take out the remaining three."

"No, I'll do it." I said.

"Levi, I think-"  
>"I'll do it. We need him tied up, don't we? Alive." We shared eye contact and he relaxed slightly. His shoulders shivered as he laughed.<p>

"Wahaha~" He breathed out in relief. "I thought you'd kind of lost it."

"Maybe I have." I stepped forward to Luca again and the bastard cocked his head. "I'm not letting him get away."

"Be careful then."

"Ah." I nodded.

Luca soon turned out to be an advanced fighter. I analysed his technique as he attacked, soon noticing a very refined martial arts style. Shotokan karate. My own style focused mainly on weaknesses of the human anatomy, with precise and calculated attacks in pin-point locations. I'd often been told that my martial arts style was a complete mess- I'd picked up tips from everything and anything. It had been a while since I'd used this style though. I mainly got by with a few kicks here and there. It wasn't long into the fight before I realised I'd have to step it up a gear.

His style was only loosely based on karate. He rarely adopted the lower stance and never brought his hands back into a guard. He was exceptionally well balanced for a man though, able to kick high simply by leaning in the opposite direction to counteract the force. As he evaded another of my attacks, I watched as he brought his fists back to his side. Wide open. I launched myself forward and hit his right brachial plexus in the trapezius muscle.

His right arm dropped uselessly by his side and he winced in pain. With a combination of swift kicks and punches, he was on the floor, gasping.

"Does it feel good?" I asked, looming over him. "Does it feel good to see your comrades fall?"

"I don't have comrades." He said, his hand moving beneath him. He threw the knife Alexis had recently dropped, causing me to distract my attention in order to dodge. As I moved out of the way, he got back onto his feet.

"What about your sister? Did it feel good to kidnap her?"

"That was only so-so." He said, beginning to grin. "Do you know what I enjoyed the most?" My stomach lurched. He smiled sadistically, chuckling. "Killing her." I stopped moving. It felt like the world had flipped upside down and silence suddenly screamed down my ears. I couldn't make sense of my thoughts anymore. Luca took the opportunity to knock me to the floor and I could only lie on my back in shock as he pinned me down on the cold concrete. "That gasp of pain as I slid in the knife." He continued. "She barely even screamed. She couldn't even breathe. Then, the warmth of her blood over my hand... It felt so good getting revenge." A pathetic whine erupted from my lips.

Suddenly, the weight above me was kicked aside and Stein dragged me to my feet. "He's the last one." Stein announced, preparing to fight. "Let's take him down." When I didn't reply, he turned to look at me, frowning. "Oi... Levi?" I didn't feel the blood trickling down my arm or staining my shirt. I didn't feel Stein grasp my shoulders and shake them. "He was bluffing!" Stein said in a panic, shaking my shoulders. "He lied! Levi! Listen to me!" I shook my head and tried to focus on Luca. Stein stepped forward to block Luca's attacks, forcing him backwards. I stood, taking deep breaths to calm myself. _A bluff. He's bluffing. _I thought, trying to be rational. _And it's working. Don't let him get the better of you._

"I'll get him." I commanded, making Stein slip out of the fight and step behind me again. Stein was a good fighter, but he knew he was no match for Luca. I attacked furiously, smacking nerve clusters and mercilessly pounding him. Now that I had stepped up my attacks and Stein was beginning to tire, I had the advantage. He was soon on the floor again. I kicked his face with such power that his tooth cascaded across the floor.

"Deja vu." I commented, dryly. Now to beat him into the next dimension.

"LEVI!" Hanji broke into my murderous thoughts with her piercing voice. I span around. "She's safe! You can stop buying time!"

"Buying time?" Luca spat, pebble dashing the floor with scarlet mingled in spit. He shifted onto his knees to stand up.

She was safe...

"Don't make it sound like you held ba-" I cut him off with a sharp kick to the jaw, taking pleasure in the sound of his bones cracking. That'd shut him up. I felt relief weaken my muscles, making my hands shake.

"If you don't want pain," I lifted his head up so he could look nowhere but directly into my eyes. "Then hurry up and die." His eyes widened and for a second, I saw Lena. Those frightened rabbit eyes... You made her look like that. You made her scared. Luca rose his arm in preparation to hit me, but I grasped his wrist and held my gaze in his eyes to watch his expression twist in pain as I snapped the bone. He screamed and tried to thrash out. I delivered a sharp blow to the pressure point on his cranium, then dug my knuckles behind his ears before finally knocking him unconscious by smashing his face into my knee. He collapsed back onto the floor.

"Tie him up and let's get out of here." I ordered, not waiting for them to do so before I scampered up the stairs to Hanji. "Where?"

"I spotted Kurt running out of the front entrance into the trees over there with Lena on his back."

"Good work. Get someone to issue the retreat signal."

"Will do, Levi." Hanji replied, her voice already faint as I sprinted over to the tree line.

It's nearly over; I can hold her again. Fuck when this ends, I'm confessing to her. I'll scream it from the top of wall Maria- I don't care. I'm just so relieved. I'm just-

A scream of pain seared through the air and I stumbled into the woods to see Kurt in the grip of a man sat on his chest. Kurt struggled relentlessly on his back and the man bent his ankle. Suddenly, something cracked and I realised Kurt's leg had broken. There was another sharp wail from Kurt, but I cut off the man's attack with one powerful kick. The enemy was sent flying onto his side and quickly recovered, twisting onto his feet again and standing.

"The man of the moment." He grinned.

"Where's Lena?" I ordered them both. Kurt gritted his teeth against the pain and forced a reply through his teeth.

"Behind... You." I immediately span round.

What I saw smacked me in the gut. I stumbled closer. "That's not her." I uttered. "That can't be her, right?"

"That's my work." The man said. "I even went to the trouble of writing my signature on her, like my best piece of art." My eyes caught the kanji on her wrist- a deep wound that would indefinitely scar forever. In fact, blood still cracked out though the wound had been dirtied and yellow puss formed an insecure netting over it. My eyes drifted to her face... Worn out, eyes closed, more blood. Her neck- bruised and scratched. Her chest- moving very slightly, her shirt stained again with blood. Blood. Blood. Her exposed hips were battered and the skin grazed. Her limbs splayed uncomfortably; broken. Blood. Blood. Blood.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"LEVI!" I heard Hanji but the rage inside me threatened to explode. The only person I could see was that bastard. The bastard that had hurt Lena. The bastard who had made her look like that... I charged at him like a mindless animal, pounding his face into the mud. He didn't have the time to react- I took his face in my palm and cracked his head onto the hard floor over and over. Over and over. He attempted to fight back, but I stood up and drove my boot into his stomach. Soon, he was hacking up blood onto his shirt but I didn't stop.

"LEVI!" Hanji called again and I felt arms grasp mine. I thrashed back and knocked whoever it was backwards viciously. I pinned him to the floor again, snapping his fingers, delighting in the screams that ensued. I grinned sadistically, feeling the pain of loss in my chest being drowned out by his agony.

"Le... Vi?" I stopped instantly. I realised that the man before me was dead. I don't know how long I'd beaten him for... How long I'd beaten him for after he'd already died. I'd carried on when his screams had stopped. My body turned in the sudden silence that appeared as soon as my blood had stopped roaring at me to destroy. To kill. To murder.

Lena was awake, those timid rabbit-like eyes widened in fear. Her face paled and I realised that she was terrified... of me. Hanji knelt beside me, staunching the blood flowing from her nose where I'd hit her.

"Have you woken up now, Levi?" She asked softly. I gazed in shock at the blood dripping from my fingertips.

And unlike titan blood, this blood would not disappear.

…

**KURT-**

The remainder of the mission comprised simply of getting home. Guthrie carried me on his back and with every step I shuddered in pain. My ankle wasn't just broken; the bone had shattered. He kept asking me questions, whilst peering over at Levi who carried Lena's body in his arms. After Levi's fit of rage had come to an abrupt halt, he had soon mellowed and stared in silence at Lena for the rest of the journey back. No one commented on what had happened; it was clear that he knew he had mercilessly murdered a human life. Right after she had woke up, Lena had attempted to sit up and passed out. She was in bad shape. In fact, that was an understatement. I wasn't sure if she'd even make it back to HQ. Levi persisted in checking her breathing frequently and we'd all watch him nervously as he did so. Then, he'd lower her in his arms again and sigh quietly.

Mikasa and Jean carried Luca between them in a sack, his hands and feet tied securely. We avoided public paths so as not to gain attention, but at this time in the morning we weren't likely to encounter anyone. The streets were void of life. I groaned again as a spark of fresh pain flashed up my leg.

"You okay?" Guthrie asked again.

"I've broken my ankle! Of course I'm not okay!" I spat, irritated by his constant worrying. "But asking me how I feel won't make the pain any weaker!"

"Yeah... Sorry..." he murmured, making me feel guilty for shouting. Guthrie looked across to Lena again, and I could tell he was agitated. He didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to help but there was nothing he could do. We just needed to get back to HQ.

"L...evi?" A quiet voice spoke up and we all span round quickly to look at Lena. Her eyes were half open and she gazed up at Levi who had stopped walking. He looked down at her, pain in his clouded eyes.

"Rest for now." He whispered.

"Am I safe? Is that really you?"

"It's all over now." He bent forward and softly kissed her forehead. "I've got you." She smiled peacefully and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry." He added once she had relaxed again into his chest.

"Watch it, Levi." Hanji grinned. "You're going soft."

"Shut up." He retorted lightly, melancholy once more. "Shitty glasses."

Lena was immediately sent to the infirmary and the nurses kicked us out as they began their work. Levi didn't even have the strength to argue, collapsing against the wall and resting his head in his hands. Guthrie and I waited further down the corridor as another nurse patched up my ankle. They wouldn't let me be treated inside in case I caused a fuss or got in their way. Lena was in critical condition and needed the nurse's complete attention.

"You were brave, Kurt." Guthrie broke the silence. "To fight back against that man..."

"I didn't do anything but run." I shrugged. "It might have been better if someone else had found her."

"Shut up with your 'what if's." Guthrie grinned. "She's safe now. That's all that matters."  
>"And we got hold of Luca."<p>

"That too. Maybe now we can figure out what the MP are planning."

A scream of agony tore through the air, coming from within the infirmary. We all jolted. "She may have woken up during the operation." The nurse patching up my ankle quickly explained. "Please stay outside; I know it's hard for you all." I looked across to Levi who had heard this. His head dropped back onto his raised knee. Yells of pain continued to rip through the corridor and Levi shuddered, covering his ears.

"Lena..." Guthrie whispered. The screams faded into whines and whimpers as the nurse finished taping up my ankle. She handed me a wooden crutch as I stood and Guthrie helped me gain my balance.

"I'm going to my room." I announced, limping away.

"What about Lena?" Guthrie asked quickly.

"I can't stay here... I can't listen to that." Guthrie didn't argue. He watched me go. _Stay strong, Lena. We're all waiting for you._

**AN:**

**Do not try these martial art moves at home, kids. Unless someone breaks into your house then yeah feel free to use Levi's assassination techniques for self-defence.**

**WOW I've been busy recently. I have a national competition against the best 6 teams in the UK next weekend O_o And then there's all my college work waahh~... But I discovered a writing app for my kindle so now I can write anywhere! Yey! That should help :D**

**SNK FILM CAME OUT TODAY AND IM JUST WAITING FOR THE SUBS TO COME OUT ASDFGHJKL**

**SNK LIVE ACTION HAS GDS GIRLFRIEND PLAYING MIKASA WOW SO AWESOME CANT WAIT**

**A CHOICE WITH NO REGRETS OVA COMING OUT NEXT MONTH OMG SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO AHHHH**

**I read on wikipedia that there was an SNK CD so I was like, 'Oh yey! It'll be like tenipuri and Levi will sing about loving to kill titans la la la la la' and I listened to it and put it this way, I have lost every microscopic ounce of innocence within me. Definitely had a rating on it for a reason. Kaji Yuki... I didn't expect you were that type of person.**

**I've written more for my sequel and I'm just trying to plan a main plot line at the moment. I've read so many Levi real world Fanfics that I keep imagining him as some kind of rock god wearing eye-liner and having affairs haha, but don't worry Levi will remain Levi in my story. Or maybe that disappoints you, kehehe~**

**MidMorningSong-**

**Your review made me so happy. I'm so glad my story is unpredictable because I try hard not to do what all other OC stories do; I want to be original if I can, even though I can't spend as much time as I'd like to plan. Oh and BTW, your prediction made me laugh. It sounds like the type of plot line I'd write to be honest :L**

**Nixie the Bloody Pixie-**

**Yup he friggin' is! I read that review before I wrote Levi's reaction and you summed up what I was imagining in my head- Levi is going to go ape shit.**


	23. A BOWSTRING ABOUT TO SNAP 1

**LENA**

_I was having a nightmare. There was a figure on the ground, pinned by an immovable weight. The figure screamed in pain, begging the monster on his chest to stop. But the monster did not. The monster repeatedly pounded his tissues, snapped his bones until finally the man was dead. Then, it persisted, taking joy in the thump of its fists and the warmth of blood tingling its fingertips. Suddenly, the monster stopped its attack and turned its face slowly to look at me._

_An in that moment, a flash of recognition illuminated the monster's face before me from grey-scale to high definition colour. I knew those eyes; tired, heavy eyes that seemingly showed no expression. I'd seen them glint like this before- that monstrous shine that sent chills down my spine. He rarely gave out any hints as to how he felt, but I knew those eyes... However, I didn't know the person he was right now._

_Levi._

I jolted awake, snapping my eyes open to see a shadow before me. The shadow also jolted as if in as much shock as I was. As my eyes adjusted to the sudden light, Levi's face sharpened before me.

"Lena. How are you feeling?" He asked, urgently leaning forward on his chair.

"Knn..." I swallowed, my throat rougher than sandpaper. "Like shit..." I allowed my eyelids to give in to the heavy weight forcing them shut and breathed deeply.

"Lena, wake up." Levi practically ordered. A felt a hand gently shake my shoulder. "Please." I quickly opened my eyes again. His voice had cracked and it was then that I remembered everything. I finally became aware of his concerned expression- something I'd never seen before.

"I'm fine, just a little sick." I rolled onto my back, wincing through every muscle contraction. Levi helped me to sit up, propping up my back with cushions. "What happened?"

"Don't worry about that. Just drink this-" Levi forced the cup of water into my face.

"Levi." I warned. "Tell me."

"Stubborn brat." He sighed. As much as I was dying to down the water right now, too many worries were colliding around my brain... Like had anyone been injured trying to save me? Or worse? What had happened to the MP?... What had happened to Luca?

"We broke in and beat up a few MPs. Fortunately you weren't heavily guarded. Kurt has broken his ankle, but apart from that we're all fine."

"What about Luca?" I asked, warily. Levi looked away and paused. My heart sank.

"He escaped." Levi said, avoiding my eyes. I breathed a sigh of relief, despite having the subconscious feeling that Levi had lied to me... I wanted to believe him, so I gratefully swallowed his lies and gulped down the glass of water after them. "Oi, oi!" Levi snatched the cup from me. "You're supposed to sip it, not down it like an alcoholic."

"Will you feed me, Levi-kuuun~" I pouted at him, pushing my lip with one finger. "My arms are tired."

"Not in a million years, brat." Levi said, flicking my forehead.

"But Levi-kuuun~" I said again, pulling on his shirt sleeve.

"Eat by yourself, idiot." He handed me the plate from my bedside desk. "Oh yeah," he added as I stuffed my face. "Welcome back." His face lifted into a small smile as I paused, half a sandwich left unchewed in my mouth.

"I'm back!" I laughed, mouth still full. Levi looked disgusted.

"Swallow before you speak, you disgusting pig." He chided. "You'll put people off wanting to be near you if you eat like that."

"I don't care." I grinned, showing Levi the contents of my mouth, enjoying the crinkle of his brow as he frowned like he was looking at something that had just crawled out of a pile of shit. "Because Levi still loves me, right?" Levi looked surprised, but then his face softened. I was expecting him to cuss me or outright reject me as usual, but instead he said-

"Ah. I do."

…

**LEVI-**

"... Say that again." Lena said, eyes the size of footballs. "Say it." She commanded, ignoring her sandwich. She leaned towards me and grasped my hand.

"One time offer." I shook my head, hiding a grin. I tried to pull my hand away but she didn't let me.

"Levi!" She complained. "I'm ill and I'm hungry and I'm thirsty and I hurt all over... so, say it once more?" I smiled surreptitiously, entwining my fingers within hers and leaning forward. She stayed still, barely breathing in anticipation as I bent forward so that my lips were tickling the air around her ears with my breath. I waited, enjoying how I had her completely in my control.

"Lena..." I whispered. I glanced back at her face, which had turned scarlet. She still didn't move, her body tensed like a wooden frame. "You've got lettuce in your teeth."

I waited, unable to hold back the grin from ear to ear. She still didn't move; then suddenly, she exploded in frustration. "Levi!" She whined, grasping my cheeks in both hands. "This is war." She declared, before furiously ruffling my hair.

"Oi- hey!" I protested, the grin soon vanishing. "Let go, you pile of dog shit!"

"Yeah how do you like that!" She continued to build up the static in my hair as I twisted away, feeling her hands move quickly to prevent me escaping. Eventually, she let me pull away and looked at her work.

"Ph...phaha!" She spluttered. "That's great!"

I was about to fight back, when there was a knock at the door. I withdrew from Lena and leaned back in my chair. Lena stared at the door curiously.

"Invite them in, idiot." I said. She jumped in realisation.

"Ah, oh yeah. Come in!" She stammered. To my surprise, Erwin opened the door and strode in. His eyes drifted away from mine and slowly up at my hair, then back to me again... I quickly adjusted my hair so that it fell almost normally again.

"Sorry to disturb you, Hertz." Erwin announced, maintaining his composure as commander as usual. "May I borrow the corporal for a while?"

"Ah, yes of course!"

"What is it, Erwin?" I asked, reluctant to leave.

"Planning." He said. "Now this is over, we need to resume business as usual." I held his gaze, which remained sternly on me.

"... Alright." I nodded, standing up. "Get some rest." I instructed Lena as I walked out of the room. I felt her eyes on me as I left, before I shut the door between us again.

"Another expedition?" I asked when we were out of earshot.

"Yes. We need to continue laying the path for the wall retake operation."

"We can't yet rely on Eren though."

"No, we can't. But we'll continue to forge a path to his basement for the time when we can rely on him."

"I see." I nodded. "When will the next expedition be?"

"A week tomorrow." Erwin replied. I stopped abruptly and stared at him.

"So soon?!"

"Indeed." The commander didn't stop. He continued walking down the corridor so that I had to jog to get into step with him again. I narrowed my eyes at him. Our numbers were already ridiculously low after the last expedition about a month ago.

"What are you planning, Erwin?" I asked, allowing a hint of a threat to underlay my tone of voice. He simply continued walking forwards, ignoring me. I sighed.

"Well. I support you. You know that." I said. Erwin nodded in acknowledgement. "However." I added, making sure that he looked at me. Erwin maintained eye contact as I threatened him silently. "You know I don't like pointless deaths."

"Yes," Erwin looked forward. "I know."

"_Levi." I heard Hanji call me. I opened my eyes slowly, coming out of my dreams. "Levi. Are you in there?"_

"_Mmm..." I sat up slowly, feeling my head spin. Where was I? _

_I felt the cold concrete floor numbing my skin in a room I was unfamiliar with. It smelt flowery; it was clean, but not up to my standards; it felt empty. This wasn't my room. I suddenly remembered where I was and stood up, stretching._

"_Levi, I'm coming in." Hanji said, opening the door. She caught me stretching, trying to hide a yawn whilst adjusting my shirt which had crumpled from where I'd slept in it. Hanji smiled._

"_You can't be in here, Levi." Hanji said softly. "You'll get labelled a pervert."  
>"Shut up, shitty-glasses." I said, picking up the object I had come to collect. I studied the material in my hands and felt myself lose concentration again. Thoughts I didn't want to think about rattled around my head whilst my brain tried to shut them out. <em>

"_There's a girl moving into this room today so I came to get the last of the stuff."_

"_I've already moved it into that bag." I nodded to the bulging sack on the floor._

"_Thanks Levi!" Hanji beamed, picking it up. "And also... that..." She looked meaningfully at the material in my hands. I glanced away._

"_Just leave it. I'll deal with it."_

"_Got it." Hanji nodded, waving as she left the room. "See you later, perverted corporal."_

"_Shut your trap." I said back, mainly on instinct rather than irritation._

_I found myself sighing again now I was alone, looking down at the jacket I was holding. I ran my thumb over the embroidered stitching and examined every sign of wear and tear across it's body. I came across the wings of freedom... and folded Petra's spare jacket to my side, leaving her room for the first and last time._

Knock knock.

I rapped against the wooden door in front of me and waited for a reply. The door opened and Guthrie stood behind it. He looked down, surprised.

"H-heichou! Good evening."

"Lena's awake." I said, then turned to leave.

"Ah- thank you!" He said, turning back into the room and calling to Kurt. I tried to get away, but the two of the jogged to catch up and walked by my side.

"Heichou, is she okay?" Guthrie asked.

"Go see for yourself."

"Have you told her about Luca?"  
>"No, and don't tell her either."<p>

I gestured for them to go ahead when we reached the stairs, taking the steps up rather than down once they had left. I made my way to my own room, opening the door and collapsing onto the bed with a sigh. It didn't take me long to fall asleep, considering how tired I was.

…

The remaining days between Lena's rescue and the expedition were spent planning, training, then planning some more. I didn't get much sleep at all, spending the mornings with Erwin, the afternoons with my squad and the evenings with Lena. Some of the time, she was asleep when I entered; I never woke her. Gradually, her cuts and scratches healed and the bruises faded. The only thing that remained was the character engraved into her wrist. I often found myself glaring at it, feeling bitter and angry. Once, Lena had consulted me about it.

"If you want, we can get your name engraved on the other wrist." She joked.

"Don't even laugh about that." I looked away, trying to calm myself. "It pisses me off just looking at it."

"And it pisses me off looking at you looking at it and getting pissed off." She felt along the ridges of the scar. "Just pretend it's something else. Hey, it looks a bit like a house, right?"

"No."

"Levi." I just sniffed. She glared at me for several more second whilst I avoided eye contact. Then, she lay back and yanked the covers over her face.

"Be like that then."

I couldn't help feeling frustrated. Every time she waved, drank tea, put on a jumper, yawned, anything and everything just made the scar ever more prominent. I could tell she could read my mind, and often we disputed over it until she'd sulk and I'd leave. The main reason for my frustration wasn't the scar though; it was the expedition that was growing ever nearer. Lena was healing quickly, frequently taking walks outside. Her arm was pretty much healed; sore, but healed.

And Erwin needed every mobile member of the legion on this next expedition.

I was stood by her side again, watching the sun set through her window with my back to her. I heard the bed covers creak as she yawned, waking up. I didn't turn around, until she spoke my name.

"Levi. What are you doing here again? Just wake me up."

"You shouldn't wake a sick person."

"I'm not even sick any more." She sighed. "Look!" She waved her arms about and jumped out of bed. I turned back to the window and closed my eyes. I felt her walk over and rest an arm on my shoulder. "What's up?" She whispered. "You've been like this for a while. Why have you stopped talking to me?"

"I haven't stopped talking. I'm pretty sociable."

"Oh haha, very funny." She said, resting her chin on my shoulder and draping her arms across my chest. I felt her breath tickle my ear. We stayed like that for several seconds, whilst I simply stared into the distance. "Oh my Sina. There's definitely something wrong. The perverted Levi I know never misses an opportunity like this."

"You can't call your superior perverted."

"My bad." She said, sarcastically. "I didn't realise. Anyway, what's on your mind." I contemplated telling her. I knew it would worry her, but then again the expedition was the day after tomorrow... She'd find out soon enough. Especially since she'd begun wandering about HQ more often to get fresh air; it wouldn't take long for information to spread. Did I really want her to find out from some cadets pissing themselves in the corridors?

"The day after tomorrow..." I began, cautiously. I tilted my head so I could see her looking up at me from my shoulder. "There's an expedition." I waited for her response, distancing myself from her so I could see her expression. It remained unchanged.  
>"I know." She said, simply. "And I'll be going on it." I raised my eyebrows sharply.<p>

"How...?"  
>"Commander Erwin informed me. He asked me if I was well enough to go, and I said yes."<br>"Wha-!" I gaped, spinning around to face her. "But you haven't been training!"

"I've already cheated my way out of an expedition before. There's no excuse this time."

"Lena, you-"

"Besides!" She raised her voice, cutting me off. "I'll be in your squad. I'll protect you." She winked and I scoffed.

"_You _protect _me_?"

"I'll have you know that I came third in my intake." She teased and I could tell she was putting on a false bravado. "Watch and learn, Levi. Humanity's next strongest soldier is about to make her mark."

"You're an idiot! You'll get swallowed in minutes with that body of yours!"

"People in worse conditions than me have been out before." I could tell she was going to be stubborn on this, but I couldn't understand her reasoning. She moved back from me and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"And where did they end up? This is ridiculous! I'm going to speak with Erwin."

"You can't let me receive special treatment, you know that."

"It's not special treatment! Even I wouldn't go on an expedition if I was in your state."

"That's because humanity needs you!" She continued, our row causing static to appear in the room. I felt the distance between us enlarging.

"Human lives shouldn't just be thrown away."

"I'm not saying they should. But I can't carry on living the good life when others are risking their lives. It's not fair."

"Then risk your life next time. What's the rush? Why are you so eager to jump into a titan's mouth?!"

"Stop underestimating me!" She banged her fist on the bed, which had a dramatically lower effect than I'm sure was intended. All it made was a small 'poof'. "It's not your decision!"

"Fine!" I stormed away, flinging open the door and not bothering to close it behind me. "Do what you fucking want then." I muttered under my breath. Eventually, I slowed my pace and took a deep breath.

Now what?

Did I speak to Erwin? Surely if it was Lena's decision, he wouldn't do anything about it. If I started asking questions, would he know there was something going on between us? Would he try to separate us? The only sure-fire way of preventing her going out was to make her change her mind.

Too bad I fell in love with a stubborn fucking brat. And a stupid one at that. I decided to consult Hanji, mainly because as I was contemplating what to do, she happened to be sat opposite me and was staring eagerly; it was clear she had something to tell me, and if it was about titans I didn't want to know.

"Levi, guess what I-"

"Do you think Le -ah- cadet Hertz is fit for service?" I asked, quickly interjecting before she began one of her infamously boring self-arguments (where she argued with herself about contradicting theories). Hanji stopped abruptly and looked at me. Then she paused, cupping her chin with her hand.

"She was jogging the other morning, so I guess so. From what I gathered, they mainly used psychological torture on her. That's the best proven way to get information." I shivered internally as my head was flooded with images. "If she wants to go, you can't stop her, Levi."

"I'm not going to stop her. She can do what she wants."

"If you talk to her, she might change her mind."

"I did talk to her." I sniffed.

"Did you talk to her, or did you yell?" I bit my lip. "And were you honest about why you don't want her to leave?" When I said nothing, Hanji interpreted my silence as an answer. "Then try talking to her again. You've not got much time."

"... Do you think I should stop her?" I asked, deciding if I'd already thrown away my pride with the first question, I might as well find out what I wanted to know.

"I think... that even if you stop her this time, you'll have the same problem next time. It's not her physical condition that makes you want to stop her, is it?"

"I-..."

"But then, it's nothing to do with me. 'No one ever knows the outcome, so chose for yourself, which decision you will regret the least'... right?"

"Well aren't those the words of a genius." I remarked dryly. "They don't suit your mouth."

"If you don't believe in your own words, then who's should you?"

"Stop saying clever things." I said, standing up. I had what I wanted; the rest was just banter.

"Wait, wait, Levi. I never told you my news!" Hanji leapt across the table and grabbed my arm. I hurriedly withdrew from her and checked my shirt for smudge marks.

"Do I want to know?"

"The pre-expedition party!" She said, excitedly. "You seemed to have forgotten, so I organised it! It's tonight!"

Forgotten? Something like that? No way in hell. It'd just lost meaning to it; that was a night to celebrate possibly your last night with your comrades. Yet, my comrades were gone. It was their idea, and it made it so painful to think about that I had ignored it.

"Tonight? I'll pass."

"It's your chance with Lena." She winked, still leaning across the table.

"Get up. It's making me sick to think what's been on that table."

"Come on, Levi!" She shuffled her body further across like some grotesque worm. I snarled at her, but she just grinned back.

"You'll regret it if anything happens." She didn't have to explain what she meant. I understood perfectly. "Like if Erwin gets drunk! Wouldn't that be hilarious!" She laughed.

"He doesn't even go to these damn things."  
>"He might."<p>

"Don't be ridiculous."

"If you aren't there, I'm going to drag you there."  
>"Have fun with that." I began to walk away.<p>

"I'll roll in the horse stables, then come into your room to drag you there." My footsteps nearly halted, but I just curled my lip in disgust and made quickly for the exit.

"Did you get your persuasion skills from Lena?"

"I'll see you there then?" I couldn't practically _hear_ the grin on her face. I didn't respond.

…

**LENA-**

I was still fuming when the door opened and someone entered. Without looking around, I pulled the covers over my head and purposely ignored him.

"What's up?" A voice spoke, which was definitely not Levi's voice. I sat up quickly and ripped the covers away so quickly that my hair became static.

"Oh!" I muttered, flattening my hair. "Kurt!"

"Disappointed?" He grinned. "What's with the tantrum?"

"I'm not." I pouted, then quickly adjusted my expression.

"Oh really?"

"Guthrie not here?"

"He's coming later, I'll bet. Couldn't find him. Aren't you returning to your own bed soon?"

"Yeah. I was supposed to be moving into my own room today, but since I'm going on the expedition-" I stopped, realising I hadn't told him this information yet. "... They told me I needed my rest... until then." I finished lamely.  
>"So you're going then?" He sighed. I wondered why he hadn't burst into anger like Levi had. He was pretty calm- not that I was expecting him to be outraged or anything.<p>

"What about you?" I indicated to his foot, which he was still limping on.

"Nope. I've been advised to stay here. I'd only be a burden as it is." Neither of us spoke the taboo 'I'm so relieved'... He definitely was relieved, I was sure. However, if he spoke this out loud, he'd only depress those who had to face that hell again. I'd experienced that bitterness first-hand. "What did Levi say?"

"He told me I was an idiot and I haven't seen him since."

"Went down well then, did it?"

"I feel fine... I know I'd feel guilty if I didn't go again."

"But maybe you should consider Levi's feelings. If it was Levi who was heading out after suffering like you did, you'd be worried."  
>"I would. But every time I think of that, I think of Ava... and I feel guilty. Every time, someone doesn't make it back. Yet I'm always sipping tea behind the walls whilst they're literally wetting themselves."<br>"Your words make for lovely images." Kurt curled his lip in disgust. "But I understand you."

"I think Levi does too, to be honest."

"Anyway, enough of this morbidness. It seems you've already made your decision so just stick firmly to it. I came to tell you that there's a pre-expedition party tonight again."

"... Is Levi going?"

"I'm not a post box. Ask him yourself."

"Are you going?"

"Yes. And Guthrie." I shivered unintentionally. "Guthophobia. That's what you've got. And don't think he hasn't realised, either. It depresses him."

"I'm not intentionally avoiding him." I pouted.

"You hid under the bed when he came last time."

"... How did you know?"

"We could see you, dumbass."

"... Shit."

"Shit indeed. He can't sleep at night knowing you chose 'that fucking shorty' over him." Kurt imitated Guthrie's deep voice and I couldn't help but giggle. He got the body language just right, sharply moving his head to emphasise certain words like Guthrie did.

"Is that what he said?"

"Yeah. He's developed a mouth as foul as the corporal's recently."

"I feel like apologising for some reason." I laughed. Kurt smiled.

"Will I see you tonight then?"

"Of course."

"Make sure you stay sober this time." I blushed.

"I was last time."

"You were only slightly less drunk than Levi. Don't think that I don't know what happened that night." He began to leave and suddenly I felt a burst of emotions for him. Kurt had always helped me through bad times, and often he was the cause of the good times. He'd stuck with me and never said a bad word against me. I couldn't ask for a better friend.

"Kurt!" I said, quickly. I sat up and faced him.

"What?"

"Thanks for everything!" He didn't say anything, looking at me in surprise. "If I don't come back, then I just want to say that I think you're amazing. Thank you."

"Don't say stuff like that." He huffed, embarrassed. "You're going to come back, so it doesn't matter, does it?" I smiled.

"No, I suppose not."

"Say it again when you get back, okay?"

"Sure." I beamed.

**AN:**

**Sorry this chapter took so long. I've been writing the sequel in order to get ahead, and I've written out the ending (so that I don't get side tracked and end up writing something completely different). We're almost there now! If you want to read the sequel, either author subscribe to me (if you haven't already and if you have, I love you), or keep visiting my profile. Alternatively, search Chemicals Keeping Us Together, as that will be the title when I've posted the first chapter.**

**The sequel will be more in character now I'm used to writing. I realise Levi is very out of character in this story and that's mainly because I became blinded by the 'fandom Levi' rather than the 'actual Levi'. But when I read SNK and start writing, I feel like I am closer to the real him. So I'll keep reading chapters so get him into my head before I write. He'll still be a little out of character, because this is fanfiction after all and there'd be no love if it were real. Just Levi and Eren.**

**Kidding. (no I'm not ;)**

**Also, there'll be less cheesy-ness and more dark kind of scenarios... At least that's what I'm planning. **

**Anyway, I estimate about one chapter of the party, then the expedition will be split into two or three parts, then one after chapter. Not long left, then! Especially since the second part of the expedition and the after chapter have already been written! Hope you like it!**

**One question though: in the sequel, do you like it being Lena/Levi POVs or do you want a mix?**


	24. A BOWSTRING ABOUT TO SNAP 2

It took me all of two minutes to get ready for the expedition party. I was adamant that I wasn't going to spend time agonising over my appearance for Levi's sake, since we were still technically arguing (even though I'd mentally forgiven him a while ago). I wanted him to somehow telepathically realise my irritations... I don't know what for. It wasn't like he was the sort of person to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness, though imagining that brought pleasant images to mind. I smirked to myself, rotating my shoulder gently as had become a habit of mine now that it was functional again. I fixed the bedsheets so that they looked untouched, smoothing out every crease. I then proceeded to ruffle the bed violently as the image of Levi came to my head, admiring the fact that I'd done something tidily for once. As I stood up, admiring my work proudly, I caught my reflection in the window and looked myself up and down.

I was wearing a white shirt that was clearly not made for women and most likely a size too large for me. I'd left only the top button open, so I wasn't revealing any skin above my elbows where the shirt was messily rolled up to purposefully irritate the obsessive compulsive shorty. I also wore a pair of black, tight trousers and black boots that hugged my shins. I felt comfy and suitably unfeminine. For my hair, I ran a brush through it for the sake of untangling the knots, but left it hanging on my shoulders. I didn't bother to straighten my parting or style it in any sort of way. Suitably comfy; suitably unfeminine. With one last ruffle of my hair to give it that 'just rolled out of bed' look, I smiled and left my room, positively skipping down the corridors.

It was pretty obvious that the party was in motion by the time I arrived. The familiar sound of chatter and laughter filtered down the empty corridor towards me. I breathed in, pausing my hand above the door handle.

"What's with that appearance?" Kurt appeared behind me. I jumped, my hand still on the handle. "Have you done that to your hair on purpose?" He commented. Guthrie peered over Kurt's shoulder.

"What's wrong with it?" He asked. "It looks normal."

"It is normal." I retorted. Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really? Because I know a certain guy who hates things being messy." He looked pointedly at my sleeves and oversized shirt.

"I was going for comfort, not style." I shrugged.

"I think you're giving off the wrong impression like that though..." Kurt was frowning slightly, looking disapproving.

"Why?"

"With hair like that, it looks more like you've just-"

"Woah-!" I yelled as the door behind me moved backwards while I was leaning on it. The sudden lack of support made me fall into the room. I quickly stumbled to my feet and felt myself crash into someone's chest. I straightened myself quickly and looked up, blushing.

"Sorry, I didn't realise someone was there!" The man said, smiling awkwardly. I laughed forcibly back and allowed him to pass me and leave the room.

I turned around to see Kurt giggling to himself and scowled at him. "What were you saying?"

"Doesn't matter." He grinned. "Though... it's worse now that your cheeks are red."

"What do you mean?" I felt paranoid now and touched my cheeks with my hands.

"Never mind." Kurt pushed my shoulder blades to force me into the room, then half-waved as we went our separate ways. "Don't get too drunk. You coming, Guth?"

"Yeah." Guthrie stepped past me and followed Kurt. From his less friendly attitude, I could tell that he wasn't exactly over the moon with me right now. He was probably hurt that I'd been ignoring him... Yet, I'd only put up my barriers to ward him away. You read in books that a guy confesses and then tries his best to make the girl fall for him. Through his sheer effort, she begins to like him too. Things aren't like that in real life. There aren't many people who like receiving that kind of attention, especially not me.

I mentally changed topics and looked for my sole target of tonight- Levi. I eventually spotted him sipping casually on a pint of beer in his hand whilst Hanji chatted excitedly in his ear. His eyes searched the room and met mine. For a second, I saw them flicker with an emotion I didn't recognise. He swiftly drowned out whatever thoughts he had and carried on searching the room. I strolled over to the table he was sat out and pulled up a chair with him, Hanji, Mike and Stein. Levi didn't bother to look at me and I could tell that he didn't know how to react. If he was expecting me to still be brooding about his comments earlier, I was over that. What I wanted from tonight was simple; fun. I wanted to get rid of all my problems and forget about the expedition for one night. Tonight I was feeling ridiculously positive and content- I'd realised how much I enjoyed being here. I had realised how much I loved these people and how much I wanted to stay here like this forever.

If someone didn't come back, I didn't want any regrets. Even Luann was temporarily in my good books today.

I caught my reflection in a glass at the table and faltered. I'd only just clicked with what Kurt was going to say, spotting my flustered cheeks, ruffled hair, men's oversized shirt... This was indeed, not a good look to be hosting. Thankfully, no one was commenting on my appearance and had barely even noticed my arrival, save for Levi. They were in the middle of a heated debate.

"1.5cm." Stein concluded. "I'm sure of it."

"You don't do them justice!" Hanji shook her head. "I've known the guy for years and watched them grow. They're bigger than that."

"They're like a forest." Stein nodded back. "But anything bigger than 1.5cm is not human."

"Are we talking about length or height?" Mike asked, not really seeming to care either way.

"Height. They're nothing special length wise. You need to be competing with Levi if you're talking about that."

"Oi." Levi commented, lazily.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. I'd been trying to simply fit into the conversation at some point, but this was ridiculously hard to follow.

"Perfect!" Hanji's eyes snapped to me. "We can have a fourth opinion! How big are Erwin's eyebrows in centimetres?"

"I don't think I can-"

"Come on, we won't tell him." She encouraged.

"But I-"

"What size? Stein reckons less than 1 and a half centimetres, but I'm thinking more than 2."

"I really don't know..." I couldn't help but giggle. "What do you think, Levi?"

He just looked at me with the expression 'do you really think I give a shit?'. I waited patiently, as though expecting an answer. The corner of my mouth began to twitch into a tell-tale smile. As Levi's eyes bored into mine, they began to roam. I followed his eyes as they flicked up to my hair, then down to my cheeks, across to my shirt sleeves and down. Then, his eyes returned to mine. We held eye contact as I waited for him to speak. He simply faced forwards again and continued sipping on his beer. I scowled in irritation. He was ignoring me.

Thankfully, Hanji changed the topic of conversation. "Okay, so who has the best hairstyle in the legion then?"

"I don't know, we all practically use the same hairdresser." Stein mused, looking to the ceiling in thought. "Short on the back and sides, the rest never gets cut."

"Armin's coconut head is something worth discussing."

"But then, the situation comes back to Erwin." Stein contradicted. "That hairstyle cannot go unmentioned either."

"I can't believe you're discussing this." I muttered.

They continued discussing pointless topics, until the interaction descended into cards (somehow) and I found myself losing in snap once again.

"How can you react so slowly?" Stein laughed, taking the cards he'd won.

"I keep losing concentration." I muttered. Every time I began watching the cards being put down, I'd forget what I was waiting for, or I'd forget which card was last. This really wasn't my style of game. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Levi finish off another glass and re-fill it. I'd only been sipping at my glass too, but he'd finished two pints before I'd managed to get down half of one. He wasn't going anywhere near as fast with his drink as he had last time, but he sure was getting through quite a bit as he sat there in silence. Usually, shorter people were on their faces in half the time of taller people. It looked like he really could hold his liquor.

I felt the call of nature and left the room, making my way down the corridor. It seemed eerily silent now that I was out of the thunder of chattering from inside the room. My ears throbbed slightly. I breathed in the cold air to clear my lungs and shuddered at the temperature. On my way back, a movement out of the window caught my eyes. My heart thudded in my chest as I stepped over to the window. I peered out, eyes wide.

Meteor shower.

And fuck me, it was incredible. I tore myself away from the window and ran back to the room, eager to tell but even more impatient to get back out there and watch it myself. The beautiful image of streaks of white tearing through the sky was carved into my retinas and I could think of nothing else. Once I was in the room again, I dashed through the crowds of people over to Levi. He looked up as I crossed the room and blinked. He read my urgent expression and stood up, resisting his heavy legs from the alcohol. Hanji also looked up, surprised at Levi's sudden movement. I hurried over to Levi, not even bothering to apologise to people I bashed into on the way. Taking his wrist, I dragged him from the room.

He didn't resist, though he almost stumbled a few times. Soon, we were running down the stairs and out of the building, hit by a wave of freezing cold air as soon as we left HQ. As soon as we were out of the way of the light and into the shadow of the night, I skittered to a halt and simply pointed to the sky. Panting, I watched as he frowned at me, but followed my finger. Then, his frown softened into a look of amazement. I didn't know which was rarer; a meteor shower, or Levi showing emotion. Either way, I indulged in both and smiled contently. The sky was not a deep black, but a musky brown colour as the remnants of sunlight tainted the darkness. Clouds of constellations behind twinkling stars provided a swirling backdrop of silver. Then, faster than my eyes could follow, a bright white light sliced through the night and winked out of existence.

"Come on," Levi took my wrist gently, to my surprise, and pulled me further away from HQ. "We'll see it better over here."

He led me across the grass, intermittently looking up at the sky as we were surrounded by darkness. Soon, I could barely see him in front of me. He stopped at the foot of the hill we usually sat. We were now out of sight of HQ. He lowered himself to the floor and found a suitable seating place on the slope. I sat behind him and stared in awe at the display above us. I lay back on the grass and dragged Levi down next to me. He protested heavily, knowing it was probably ruining his shirt.

"One night?" I pleaded. "For this?" I couldn't see his expression, but eventually I heard him sigh. He lay on his back and watched the sky. I smiled contentedly. A surge of happiness welled up inside of me as I looked at the astonishing sight above me. The meteors were slowing in frequency, but on such a clear night the beauty of that was enough to entertain and amaze me. After staring at the sky for several minutes, I suddenly felt eyes on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Levi was no longer watching the sky. He looked at me and didn't look away as I turned my head to face him. Our faces were mere centimetres apart.

"What's with your appearance?" He remarked, dryly. I huffed.

"I went with the casual look." I replied. "Why is everyone so bothered by it?" Levi lifted a hand and ran some of my hair through his fingers. I felt the tension in my body rise.

"Don't walk around like that again." He said, simply.

"Why?"

"It's the type of thing you do when you let your guard down... Wearing a man's shirt with messy hair... Like you've just spent the night with him."

"What's your point?"

"I want to be the only one who sees you like that, you hear?" My heart jumped and it took me a second to form words. I was glad for the darkness as it hid my burning cheeks.

"You can't be possessive like that." I teased, covering a stammer in my words. "Not when I'm currently single. Technically, you have no more rights over me than any other man." I just wanted him to say it. I wanted his mouth to say those words.

"Not true." He replied. "Because there's a certain rule in the animal kingdom."

"What the hell?"

"The strongest man gets his choice of women. The rest have to back off or risk getting their heads bitten off."

"That's so sexist!" I fumed. "A woman isn't owned by a man!"

"I never said that. Just because he has the ability to keep others away, doesn't mean she'll accept him." His hands were still playing with my hair; he had my full attention all right. In fact, it felt like every cell my body consisted of was tuned into his very breathing; every movement and every sound.

"Who'd accept a cleaning obsessed, irritable short-ass?" I said, grinning. "Only an idiot would do that."

"Well, no one's ever called you intelligent."

"Indeed, they haven't." I turned on my side so I was completely facing him. As I breathed in, I caught the scent of alcohol... that explained how talkative he was. "How much have you drank?" I asked, curiously.

"Enough to want to do this to you."

Before I knew it, his lips were on mine. And not in the sense of some childish, romantic peck; he forced me into the floor and held me there with just his lips. His tongue attacked mine whilst my fingers found their way into his hair. Our bodies were pressed together as tightly as possible, his hands cupping my face. All of a sudden, he was sucking on my lip. I felt him bite down on it and writhed in his grip in surprise. I completely let him take over me, giving into his strength and melting into his touch.

Surprise kisses were the best.

It was freezing, but I didn't care. I pulled myself closer to him to share his body heat whilst he continued to work on my mouth. He parted from my lips for a second.

"I'm not a hot water bottle." He grunted, panting slightly. I grinned at him, drunk on happiness.

"But you're so warm." I said back, licking my lips and tasting the second hand alcohol.

"Argh, disgusting. Wipe your mouth." He ordered. We were still moving, even though we weren't kissing. His hands left my face and traced down to my hips. Mine found their way under his shirt, feeling his rippling back muscles contract and relax as he moved. He was so warm.  
>"What's it matter?" I said, slavering all over my mouth and enjoying his look of repulsion. "All my spit is inside your mouth right now, swirling around and contaminating you. I wonder if I washed my hands after I went to the toilet?" I mused aloud, laughing as his face contorted even further. Then, he reset his determination and began kissing my neck instead.<p>

We continued like this, relishing in the blissful night until Levi finally drew away and sat up. "You're freezing." He said, simply. "Let's go inside." I didn't argue and followed him as he stood up and began the walk back.

HQ was freezing, but still a relief from the outside world. I could practically feel the cold conduct through the stone staircase into my toes. When we came to the place where we'd part, he stopped me. "Come with me." He ordered, giving no room for argument and no hint of an explanation. At the moment though, I was too happy to care. I followed him to his room, where he beckoned me inside. I blushed a vivid red and remained outside. "What's up? Shy about entering a corporal's room? Well it's about time." At my nervous glance, he sighed. "I don't know what you're thinking in that perverted mind of yours, but I'm not going to do anything." He yawned, heading over to his window to close the curtains. He left the door open, as some kind of indication that it was 'up to me'. Deciding that I didn't want this night to end and that I trusted him completely, I entered the room. Shutting the door behind me, I caught him smirk and almost turned to flee immediately.

"Why am I here?" I asked, simply.

"Do you need a shower?" He ignored me, as I was becoming accustomed to.

"I've had one."

"I'm having a shower. While I'm gone, you can get changed into this." From his wardrobe, he tossed me a large, white shirt... Practically the same as what I was wearing.

"Why?"

"Just put it on."

"What if I dirty it? Are you happy with this?"  
>"I'm not having you stink of sweat in my room. It'll have to do."<p>

I had no idea what Levi was planning as he left the room, but I decided to snoop around as a kind of 'serves you right for locking me in'. There was no way that I was wearing just a shirt, so I rifled though his drawers searching for something to wear. I found a pair of black shorts and quickly got changed into them and the shirt, paranoid that someone would come in. I could smell Levi's scent on his clothes...

and the scent of washing powder.

It was a pleasant combination and one that I completely expected. I'd caught the scent vaguely before, but only now as I buried my face in his shirt did I get the full extent of it. I looked around, searching for something to do to wind him up. I found a drawer containing his cravats and ties and decided to put one on. Then, I found an empty notebook and quickly folded at least 15 paper planes. I wrote on the wings of each one: Levi 3 Lena 4eva, then threw them each from the door so that they scattered across his room. I was just searching for something else to wind him up, when the door opened and I scuttled to my feet again looking no doubt suspicious. Levi re-entered, his hair dripping and a towel thrown around his neck. I noticed he had changed into nightwear of a baggy vest and shorts. He eyed me.

"That was quick." I commented.  
>"I was worried." He took a look around his room. "Rightfully, it seems." He picked up one of the planes, sighing. I thought he was going to ignore them as he continued walking around the room, but then he stood by the torch casting light into the room. "In." He nodded at the bed. I widened my eyes at him.<br>"What?"

"Get in." He said again.

"Perverted obsessive compul-"  
>"Just get in." He shook his head, watching me as I did so obediently. I lay in his bed, pulling the sheets up to my chin, feeling extremely self conscious. He dowsed the flame and I heard him walk over to the bed. If my heart hadn't have been pounding so loudly, I might have heard him crawl in beside me. As it was, I relied on the fact that the bed sunk and something warm shuffled to my side. I couldn't see a thing.<p>

"What are we doing?" I whispered. I swear that I heard him sniff, laughing at me.

"Just go to sleep." He muttered, rolling onto his back. My eyes were wide open for several minutes, until I decided that he meant what he said. I relaxed slightly, squirming onto my side so that I was comfy. Then, I realised that I was facing him. I could hear his light breathing beside me. Too paranoid to be comfy, I turned onto my other side. But then I felt even more self conscious now that I couldn't see what he was doing- not that I could see anyway. So, I finally rolled onto my back.

"Don't tell me you're going to do that all night." He groaned.

"I'm self conscious I can't help it." I muttered. In response, I heard another snort and imagined the smirk that was most likely adorning his face. All of a sudden, there was an arm around me. It pulled me strongly into his side so that I was nestling into his chest.

"L-Levi, this is nice and all but I'm going to have a heart attack at this rate." The man ignored me and I heard his breathing slow. He was really going to sleep. I adjusted my position against him, trying to wipe the huge grin from my face. At this rate, I'd never get to sleep. I was so blissfully ecstatic. "Night, Levi." I whispered.

"Shut the fuck up, Lena." He whispered back.

I could get used to this.

**AN: There is very little left for me to write! Nearly finished and I'm so happy. Next comes the sequel: The Chemicals Keeping Us Together. That's likely to be darker in story plot. Also, I'm writing a new OC where it'll be in the SNK world and I'm going to focus on getting the character as in character as is possible! I've got the first part of the plot written out... The plot is rather interesting. I just hope I can write it how I imagine it. I also started to write a LevixHanji fic where Levi has schizophrenia, but I think I'll be too busy to finish it. Unless I prioritise it over something else. I also wrote a one shot with no pairings, but I probably won't upload it.**

**Don't forget to review! Even though we're nearly there, I still need motivation! **


	25. UNTIL THE TARGET DROPS DEAD 1

**LEVI-**

I was somewhere between being awake and dreaming, keeping my eyes shut to try and stay asleep for as long as possible. My head was beginning to throb and I felt queasy, but there was no way I was going to move and wake myself up. I exploited the peace of morning whilst I still could, knowing it was going to be a busy day. Breathing in deeply and letting out a long sigh, I enjoyed the unusual warmth of my bed. It turned out that I wouldn't be able to maintain inertia, however, as something shifted in front of me. My eyes flew open and I blinked, trying to drive the exhaustion from my eyelids and concentrate on the blurry figure before me. It took me a second to make out a figure laid in front of me... then I relaxed.

I was laid on my side, arms draped over her shoulders with her head on my chest. Her hair tickled my chin, splayed out on the pillow next to me. Lena snuggled into the blankets and as I woke up properly, I could see that she was beaming from ear to ear.

"Awake then?" I grunted, voice harsher than usual in the mornings. She opened her eyes and looked back at me, still grinning.

"Morning." she said.

"What's so funny?" I muttered, shifting onto my back and sitting up. Unwillingly, she sat up herself and stretched. I watched her, entertained by the bit of stomach she revealed as she raised her arms above her head, yawning.

"You're the type who takes a long time to wake up, then?" As she smirked at me, I frowned.

"What gives you that impression?"

"Your eyes are still half closed and you haven't even sorted out the fact that your vest has fallen off." I quickly glanced down and noticed that the strap of my vest was almost at my elbow, exposing the whole of my upper chest.

"Not that you mind, you perverted brat."

"Can't say that I do mind." Grinning at me stupidly, I couldn't resist the urge to ruffle her hair. She lifted her arms up in defence but I pulled them down, leaning forward to deliver a quick kiss to her lips. Afterwards, I swung my legs out of bed and regretfully, began to change.

"You better get back to your own room. Someone's going to realise you're gone, patients leaving the ward and all." As though the thought had only just struck her, she gasped and quickly scrambled out of bed. Hurriedly picking up her things, she staggered to the door and turned back to give me one last look.

"Thank you. See you later."

The door closed behind her and I let out a small smile. "What are you thanking me for, idiot?"

…

"What's put you in such a good mood, shorty?" Hanji sat next to me in the second of two chairs positioned in front of Erwin's desk. Erwin himself was no where to be found, and I'd been tapping my foot impatiently since I'd gotten here all of two minutes ago.

"Nothing in particular." I sniffed, trying to keep a neutral expression. Hanji leaned across, her eyes bright.

"Something good happen?"

"What gives you that impression?" I asked, in more of a way to ward off her suspicions than out of curiosity.

"You've not complained yet and I've been with you for an hour now. You didn't complain at breakfast, even though we'd ran out of tea. You didn't complain when the messenger came, either, telling us we had a meeting with Erwin. Even now, you haven't complained about the fact that Erwin's late."

"Give me chance to."

"Anyway." She swiftly changed topics and I noticed that her expression darkened. "Even we don't know of the aim of this expedition yet... I can't help but be curious as to why he's kept it from us."

"He's as careful as always." I nodded; I'd also been pondering about why we'd been left in the dark.

"What's your guess?" The scientist asked, though I was sure we were already thinking along the same lines without having to voice them.

"Whatever it is, we'll find out soon enough." I said, sensing Erwin's presence even before I heard the echoing footsteps. The door behind us opened and Hanji stood up to greet the commander. I remained seated, arms folded in hostility. Once the formalities were over with, Erwin lowered himself into his seat opposite us with the table forming a physical barrier between us.

"I'll cut to the chase." He announced and I nearly jumped for satirical joy- maybe I wouldn't waste an entire morning after all. "The female titan is still amongst us, as you know. We have yet to figure out her identity. After speaking to one of the new cadets, he suggested that the traitor would still be with us. For the sake of remaining hidden and to find another opportunity to capture Eren."

"Are you sure that thing is in the legion, then?"

"It's possible. Though it's equally possible that she isn't."

"So you don't have a fucking clue." My eyes rolled involuntarily. Sometimes I forgot who's presence I was in. He didn't seem to mind though.

"She obtained our uniform, which isn't such a great feat. It would seem less likely if she was in the legion though, as the amount of checks we complete on things would make it difficult for her. For instance, despite the mayhem of a battlefield, if a cadet went missing and suddenly returned before we entered the walls, people may start asking questions."

"I think it's likely that she isn't in the legion." Hanji intervened. "It's impossible to be in two places at once... she'd have to be extremely careful not to give anything away."

"It's proven itself to be intelligent though." I cut in. "Just because you hope our enemy isn't capable of getting away with that so easy, don't think that reality is the same."

"I'm guessing that the next expedition is bait then?" Hanji surmised, to which Erwin nodded.

"We shall tell the squads that the aim is to attempt to complete the last mission; a second attempt. But in actual fact, we'll be waiting to capture the female titan when she tries to capture Eren."

"Don't you think it'll figure that out?" I squinted at Erwin, who simply held my gaze without faltering.

"Most likely. However, after the extremes I've seen the female titan go to in order to capture Eren, I believe she will risk everything in order to obtain her goal. We're betting everything on the fact that she'll try again, regardless of the risk."

I said nothing, all the while envisioning the faces of those who'd been killed mercilessly in the last mission... to no avail. For seemingly no end result, they'd laid down their lives. Were we about to simply repeat our last mistakes? We could even lose more. I wasn't willing to put their lives at risk to bet on something with such high stakes. Then again, that could be why I was sat opposite the commander instead of the other way round.

If you don't sacrifice anything, you can't gain anything.

"Here's the layout this time around." Erwin said, pulling out a detailed, hand drawn map of our formation.

"It's practically the same." Hanji mused.

"With such a short time, it'll be hard to train them on a new formation." Erwin explained. I noticed something that interested me and I pointed to it on the map.

"'Levi's special operations squad'." I quoted, indicating that I wanted further explanation.

"I know you already reformed your squad for the sake of our conflict with the Military Police." He began, pulling out another sheet. "But I've changed a few details for this mission." He handed me what appeared to be a list of names.

_Levi Special Operations Squad_

_Mikasa Ackerman_

_Connie Stringer_

_Jean Kirstein _

_Sasha Braus_

_Guthrie Eisenberg_

_Eren Jager _

_Lena Hertz_

As I read down the list, I experienced a variety of emotions. They went from approval, to irritation, to approval again, to more irritation, to severe irritation, to premonition, to...

Shit.

The moment I read Eren's name, I had a premonition that we were going to be in the thick of the action. As protectors of the kid, this meant the female titan would target us. Last time, we'd been wiped out and so undoubtedly the same risk was posed this time around. Then I read the next name. A weight in my chest sank and suddenly my chest was tight.

"I disapprove." I noted, without thinking. "I agree of the power of some of them... Ackerman has proven herself strong enough. But there's two new cadets; surely they should be with the supplies?"

"Don't let personal emotions taint your decisions, Levi." Erwin said, keeping his eyes down as he shuffled papers. A spark of irritation ignited within me. Had he just claimed that I was making a decision based on personal opinions? I growled low in my throat as I responded.

"I haven't and I won't." My words cut like steel. "I maintain my view that they're too inexperienced."

"Cadet Hertz achieved 3rd in her intake and Cadet Eisenberg was 1st. There is no reason why their abilities should be considered inferior to those who enrolled mere months before them, such as Braus and Springer."

"Then why are _any_ of them in my squad?" I gritted my teeth, unable to voice just how agitated I was. I noticed that Hanji hadn't said anything.

"I'm not discussing this any further, Levi." His gaze was hard but mine was a thousand times harder. "You'll have to put your personal feelings aside and deal with this."

I fumed internally. It wasn't often that I was angry with Erwin (excluding the first few rocky years of my legion life), but right now I wanted to reach across and strangle some sense into him. It pissed me off more that Hanji had remained silent. Either she agreed with him or... Something was off. My expression lost its viciousness and realisation hit me. All of a sudden, everything made sense and when I looked across to shitty-glasses, she only confirmed it with her solemn eyes. How had I missed that?

"You suspect her?" I said, completely aghast. "You suspect Lena of being the female titan?!" There was silence. Complete and utter, echoing silence that heightened my senses in stress. I could feel the thumping of my blood reverberate through my skull. My headache was returning with vengeance. Finally, Erwin spoke.

"Not only Lena." He confirmed my words. "We've worked out that the most likely traitors are within the 104th and 105th recruitment." He began to explain his reasoning, but I was barely listening. I was struck with internal confusion and panic and frustration all at once...

Lena... the female titan?

Such a thing was ridiculous. She was stupidly stubborn, carelessly clumsy and got herself in trouble more times than she could count on her only good arm. She'd raise her fist to a person, sure, but only after she'd snapped. She would definitely hurt a fly, and she hated midges more than she hated losing. And yes, she lied. A hell of a lot. She'd never say her true feelings even though it was clearly painted all over her stupid face. She wasn't even kind; she could cut glass with her words sometimes if you rubbed her up the wrong way. And she was so stubborn that she would never admit that she regretted her words.

But she wasn't a murderer.

I tuned into Erwin's final explanation and my confusion swiftly turned to violence in less than a second. "There's also the fact that she has gotten unusually close to higher ranking officers... namely, you." My fingers were around his throat before he could even finish his sentence.  
>"Don't you dare," I began, spitting out my words as Hanji stood up so quickly that her chair clattered to the floor. "insinuate that Lena did <em>that<em>." The stench of death in my memories flashed images of my squad- murdered. By the female titan.

"Levi, calm down-" Hanji began, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Its only a possibility." I loosened my grip in shock, glancing over my shoulder at her.

"You're on _his _side? You think she's the titan too?"

"Like I said, it's only a possibility." Hanji rushed the words out in self defence, prising my fingers from around Erwin's neck. Erwin had barely flinched. "Lena didn't go on the expedition, yet she was spotted running out of the walls. There's also the fact that her appearance is most similar. Her hair is a light brown, almost blonde. There is some variation in Eren's appearance with his titan appearance, so we can't count her out on a few shades of difference. Also, Lena was 3rd in her intake. The female titan took out Eren and many of our squad members. She's intelligent and strong." At my darkened eyes that glinted with suppressed violence, Hanji quickly finished her argument. "However. It's only a possibility. If Lena goes on this expedition and the female titan appears, we can immediately rule her out of the equation."

"And what if the female titan doesn't appear?" I snarled.

"We can't fully cross her off," Hanji spoke honestly, "But she'll be less likely."

I swallowed my anger and tried to calm my breathing. I stood up and faced Erwin again.

"Fine. I accept. Is that all?" I asked, words like daggers. Erwin regarded me calmly and I shifted my gaze to the glowing red mark on his neck where my fingers had been.

"That is all. Dismissed." He said. I didn't need to wait for any more confirmation. I was out of the door in record time.

…

I rested my head on my desk, trying to breath deeply. I was still raging and there seemed to be no end to the memories crashing around my skull. The warmth of the sun bathed onto my back from the window, but I was shivering. I sighed deeply.

Lena? A traitor?

Yeah right.

I was vaguely aware of a faint knocking at my door, but I ignored it. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, and they wouldn't want to approach me either if they weren't happy about being treated as a punching bag. I only looked up when my door opened slightly and a face peered around.

"Ah, so you _are_ here." Lena smiled, already blushing. She was probably still bouncing from last night. I would be too, if it wasn't for that massive bomb shell that had been dropped on me about an hour ago.

"Don't you have training to do?" I didn't bother to sit up, sprawled out on the desk, exhausted. She frowned at me, curiously.

"I'm in your squad; we're all downstairs waiting for you."

"Join in with another squad." I grunted. She made her way over to me silently and I couldn't help but spot the character engraved on her wrist.

"What's up?" She asked, soothingly. I watched her crouch down so that she was resting her folded arms on my desk in front of me. The red raw scar was blazingly obvious and I glowered at it icily. She flinched at my glare.

"Get out, Lena." I huffed, turning my face away from her to try and suppress the raging dragon within me.

"Something happen?" She persevered. My hands were clenched into fists so tight that my knuckles were white and it felt like the blood in my hands had drained away.

"Get out." I growled, increasing the hostility in my voice. I felt her hand on my head, softly tickling my bangs. She stroked my hair slowly, rhythmically. She didn't realise it, but with every stroke a coil within me wound tighter and I was on the brink. The female titan? Her? This girl here, sat stroking my hair, oblivious that all she's doing is making it static? The girl trying so hard to see past the violent, monstrous behaviour I was showing her... desperately wanting to cool my temper? Get real, Erwin.

"_There's also the fact that she has gotten unusually close to higher ranking officers."_ His voice echoed in my head. _"... namely, you."_

In a burst of uncontrollable anger, I sat up and grabbed her wrist. She yelped in pain at the force in my grip, eye's widening in fear. Fear. There you go, that's what I'm used to seeing. I felt the roughness of her scar under my fingers... and felt the usual calmness within me vaporise.

"Who the FUCK are you?" I hissed, dragging her close to me and observing the look of terror in her eyes as I oozed with killer intent.

"L-Levi!" She gasped. "Let go, it hurts-!" My grip tightened.

"Did you get close to me on purpose?!" My words were like venom... her eyes widened like two full moons. She was terrified, but a spark of something still persisted in her eyes. When I realised what it was, I threw away all my emotions. She was still trying to understand me.

I slammed her against the wall, pinning her arms to the side of her head.

"Who are you?!" I repeated.

"I don't understand-!" She was shaking. I could feel her trembling under my gaze, see her wincing in pain.

"WHO ARE YOU?" I said again, growling in her face with as much callousness as I could muster. There was a silence and she searched my eyes for several seconds. Then, she took a deep breath and calmed herself. Reopening her eyes with new-found bravery, she spoke.

"Lena Hertz. Who the fuck are you?"

We held each other's gaze for several moments and I assessed the timid rabbit under my wrath. No, not a timid rabbit. A lion cub, growling in resistance. I released my grip, gently, standing back and turning away from her. I took a moment to breathe. All of a sudden, I found myself laughing.

"'Who the fuck am I'?" I chuckled. "You've never respected your officers, have you?" I didn't have to look at her to know she was scowling in frustration. Obviously, she wanted an explanation at my sudden outrage. Before she could speak, I cut in. "Sorry, I can't tell you."

"..." When I turned, I saw exactly the expression I had anticipated- a pouting, furious little lion cub. "Need I say the words?"

"What?"

"Uncivilised, idiotic, stupid, frustrating, obsessive, little midget." She said. "That's what you are."

"I know."

"Why can't you tell me? From what I could gather, you were assessing me."

"Yeah, I was." I nodded, sitting back into my seat. I hadn't realised how exhausted I felt until now. "You passed, congratulations." She was far from ecstatic. In fact, she would have set fire to the cake instead of blowing out the candles at this point.

"Cretin. Incompetent. Half-wit." With every footstep she took on her way out, she punctuated it with a curse. "Ignorant. Foolish. Foul-tempered. Pugnacious. Obsessive. Fucking. Clean freak." She slammed the door behind her. A second later, it reopened and she glared around it.

"Yes, I'm going to be in a tantrum for the foreseeable future. Enjoy your time on the Lena Hertz roller-coaster. Expect frequent turbulence and know that the cart may veer off track at any time. Also, kissing, touching and other activities are prohibited. Have a nice FUCKING trip!"

BANG.

Rationalising my actions was impossible. But one thing was for sure- any doubts I had about her had gone. After looking into those eyes, I couldn't do anything less than believe her every word. Yes, she was dishonest. Yes, she was violent at times. Yes, she was as stubborn as a mule.

But she was _my _dishonest, violent and stubborn woman.

**AN:**

**Okay so at some point I'll have to explain what's going on with the female titan etc. The first expedition where Petra and the others died happened, but in my story they didn't figure out who she was. So, things carried on as usual. You'll just have to ignore Eren's imprisonment...**

**Not long left! So excited as this will be the first story in my LIFE that I've ever finished. Don't forget to review!**


	26. UNTIL THE TARGET DROPS DEAD 2

Here I was again.

How many times have I been in this scenario? The horse under me shifting with anticipation, instincts fuelling its muscles ready to run even though it didn't know why. The agitated mumbling of people who couldn't stand the nervous silence, and the quietness of those who couldn't open their mouths to reply, withdrawing themselves into a cocoon of fear. The ghosts of a whimper fading away from someone's lips. The angry muttering of the gathered crowds. The stench of sweat, dancing in the air with the dirt clouding the street. The looming wall before us, gigantic and unyielding. Our prison. Our sanctuary.

Of which we were about to leave.

As I did every time, I cast my eyes to my squad one by one. I was checking their emotions, their mindset and their positions... but also absorbing their existence, for soon they could easily vanish.

Mikasa was directly to my right and her eyes were completely focused on Eren, who was to my left. She faced forward, but glanced frequently in his direction. Her eyes were hard and strong- solid and jagged as gems, glinting with determination. Good.

Connie was behind her, shifting his position on the horse anxiously. The horse was picking up on his emotions and responding to them with equal amounts of fear. It huffed and kicked up a cloud of dust.

Eren hadn't even spared a glance to Mikasa, though he occasionally looked to me as though expecting me to say something. He was barely as nervous as anyone else and I had come to recognise that he had long since replaced his fear of the titans with anger. Childhood traumas had forced his "flight" response into a corner and now only his "fight" mechanism remained. I didn't know what to think of this. Sometimes fear was a better source of instinct and intuition than anger, but what could I do? I could tell him some horror stories, try to scare him out of his fit of rage. Yet, anger had its strengths, too. It was best just to leave him to simmer; eventually, with experience, he'd cool down. Either that or boil over and I'd have to clean up all his mess.

Left and to the rear was Jean. He was gritting his teeth, unwavering gaze focussed forward. It was clear he was mentally controlling himself, fuelled with the resolution to survive. He was honest; a trait that caused conflict with others regularly. In that respect though, he was someone you could trust to always live up to your expectations of him. There would never be any surprises, unlike with the less predictable cadets like Eren.

I glanced further over my shoulder and spotted Guthrie. He was almost hidden completely by Jean, but I could still make out his strong grip on the reins. His fingernails dug into his skin and his knuckles were bleached of colour. I shifted to see his expression, noting the sweat running down his face. Still, his eyes were determined and if not for his trembling hands, you could easily mistake his fear for rage.

Central and rear was Sasha. She was another honest, easy to read type of person. Just another frightened cadet trying to drown out her emotions and keep a steady grip on the reins.

Finally, to the right and back was Lena. She kept her eyes on the horse beneath her, sitting rigidly like she was braced to be thrown off any moment. It was almost like she feared the horse more than the damn titans. Thinking back, she'd encountered the horror of the titans before. Her mother and sister had been killed by titans. That must have left some emotional scars, but she was so anxious of the imminent danger the horse posed that she hadn't even looked up yet. The horse snorted and kicked its hoof, eager to get moving. Lena jolted upright like her spine was made of iron and she squeezed her eyes shut for a second. At this rate, she wouldn't even notice the titans. Once she'd steadied herself again, her eyes rose up and met mine.

We absorbed each other's gazes, attempting to read each other in some sort of telepathic show down. Then, she sniffed and looked away, glaring forward.

"Childish brat." I cursed, turning away, too.

The gate began to open and a shock wave of pressure boomed all around as the source of everyone's fears suddenly became closer. It was mere seconds after that Erwin's echoing command roared over our heads.

"FORWARD!"

And, like a storm surge crashing through the gate, we flooded through to the other side in no time. I remembered the last time I had done this, Lena running out through the gates after us and me almost falling from the saddle in shock. She waved us off, yelling something that was lost over the stampede of hooves but I still understood what she meant. I remember at that time having a compelling instinct to dash back for her and make sure she made her way back into the walls.

_You and your stupid antics. Because you were seen running out of the gates, you're the subject of our suspicions. _I sighed to myself, turning to meet her eyes and mentally cursing her as though she'd hear me. She raised an eyebrow curiously, then proceeded to ignore me. _Shitty brat. At least this means you're in my squad and I can keep an eye on you._

"Heichou!" Eren yelled to me, making me snap my eyes back forward. I looked up and saw the soaring flame spiralling upwards, a black wisp choking the air. Black- aberrant.

"Fire it, Eren." I ordered, proceeding to follow the change in direction. My squad followed me and I heard Eren fumbling for his pistol.

"What do we do if one breaks through?" Mikasa said, just loud enough for me to hear. I knew what she was asking. Did she have permission to act on her own?

"The priority is to protect Eren." I said, knowing I was giving her far more freedom in those words than I wanted to dish out. "But you will not act without my commands, understand?"

"Yes sir." She said, though I knew from experience that she'd abandon that promise in a heartbeat if anything happened to Eren.

"The surrounding teams are protecting us. You shouldn't have to fight as we need your skill."

"They're our sacrifice, then?" She spat out the words, clearly not impressed.

"Yes, they are." I simply stated, making sure to douse her disobedience with my own fiery gaze. She quickly nullified her expression so it didn't appear quite so rebellious. "Eren is our priority. When we get to the forest again, it's your job to stay with him. Things can get disorganised ridiculously quickly and we might get separated. I'll let you stay with him on one condition."

"Sir." Her frustrations seemed to subside rapidly with that command and she waited eagerly for the condition.

"Don't make any rash decisions. Not like last time." Her eyes widened slightly and she looked away, embarrassed. Then, she hardened her expression so that her eyes glinted with resolution.

"I won't, sir." And I believed her.

"LEVI!" A panicked yell came from behind us, interrupting our conversation. I span around at Lena's voice and saw the smoke grenade rising from behind. There was a titan. And close. I met her eyes and for once she didn't look away.

"That's heichou to you. Now eyes front. If it's coming from behind we should outrun it." I heard her curse under her breath as I turned back in my saddle.

"Heichou," Mikasa's voice spoke again, quiet as a whisper. She received my full attention from her dangerous tone. "Can I say something that may sound like insubordination?"

"If you're going to anyway, then let's hear it." I muttered. She galloped beside me, staring unblinkingly at me with an expression that looked like she was warning me.

"I may be stepping over the line here, but I think I should redirect your words back at you." I raised an eyebrow, half-irritated and half-curious. She continued, regardless. "You and that girl have something going on, clearly. It's none of my business, but don't make the same mistake I did. You have many lives resting on your shoulders."

"Thanks for the tip." I remarked, dryly. In reality, I was heeding her words. There was a growing sense of danger in my stomach; I was worried about that. I was worried I'd act rashly whilst she was here. I knew exactly how many lives were in my hands and the weight of that sparked up a small panic within me.

"HEICHOU!" This time, Guthrie was yelling. "It's within eyesight!" I kept my gaze forward as Eren gasped, turning in his saddle. The booming footsteps had been apparent in my head for a while. They were fast footsteps too; this titan was incredibly quick and would catch up with us soon enough. I played out scenarios in my head, weighing up possibilities. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted buildings. What if we took it down? I was confident I could, but that'd mean putting my squad in danger and possibly losing the rest of the formation. With the ever growing sound of running behind us, I grunted in annoyance and made a decision.

"Mikasa, Eren!" I called so that the whole squad could hear. "Veer right and slow your speed. The rest of you go right, too. Guthrie and Lena, follow me left."

"Yes, sir!"

"Mikasa, Eren is in your charge!" I shouted across to her. She nodded confidently.

"I understand." She began to draw away, following Eren who had galloped off quickly. He glanced over his shoulder at us as though what I was about to do had just clicked in his head. Mikasa also spared me one last look. "Don't die." She said, before parting ways. The squad followed them and I finally glanced over my shoulder at the titan. It was around 800m behind us; a grotesque, child-like creature with a huge head and slender limbs. It powered forward, following the closest target- us. The buildings were getting closer, now only around 500m away.

"We're taking it down!" I commanded. "Both of you, switch to 3DMG once we enter the buildings."

"That might be too late!" Guthrie cried, desperately. I knew all too well. The bloody thing was closing in on us. I spared a moment to look at Lena, the furthest back. She was urging her horse forward, sweat running down her face. She chewed her lip nervously, hands shaking as they found their way to her gear. I withdrew my own swords, hearing the metallic _shik_ as the blade ran across the metal holster.

300m ahead.

The horse snorted in surprise as the ground behind to pound with the force of the titan's footsteps.

200m ahead. I could probably cut short the distance by 20 metres if I timed it right. I sharply glanced back, feeling the adrenaline start to kick in. My heart was racing and my mind whirring. The titan was trailing just behind Lena now, reaching forwards to grasp her in it's disgusting hands.

"LENA!" Guthrie bellowed, a look of terror descending across his features.

"FORWARD." I commanded. "LOOK. FORWARD." I was within reach now, standing up on the horse's back and preparing for flight. I fired the pistols and suddenly I was whipping through the air. I was dragged by my torso, cutting through the air towards the nearest, dilapidated, old building. For a second, I wondered if the grips would even hold, but they seemed to do their job. Dropping down towards the rooftop, I prepared my feet for landing and rotated mid air in order to look back.

Guthrie was preparing to follow me into the air, preparing his pistons. As I watched, he fired and slipped from the horse's back. Lena, however, was too far away to reach the buildings yet. The titan was bent double, thundering after her. It was so close it could practically scratch the horse's back with it's claw-like fingernails.

"LENA! LEAD IT THROUGH THE TOWN!" I bellowed as loud as I could. I saw her look up for a fraction of a second, comprehending my words. At that moment, her eyes lost their timidness and she grimaced in determination, taking a second to wipe the sweat from her forehead. I ran along the tiles, gathering speed to time the moment that the titan would become in reach and the building would stop underfoot. As soon as even its eyelashes were within reach, I hit the last tile and leapt into the air. My feet flailed beneath me for a second, before the anchor caught in the rooftop opposite me.

It dragged me through the air, taking the route directly past the nape of the titan's neck. I could go for it; this could be over in a second. I rotated a fraction more in the air and drew up my blades. With a sickening _slick, _my blades dived into the tissues of the titan and hot blood splashed up my arms. I winced, but continued tearing through the fibres of muscle. Once through to the other side, I hovered for a second before the drop came. Quickly, I fired another piston and clattered to a stop across the roof, turning to see the results. The titan fell, blood gushing out of the nape of its neck- directly on the weak spot. I didn't wait for its body to slam into the floor, catching up with my horse which had instinctively drawn itself closer to Lena's.

Lena glanced over her shoulder and after determining for certain that it was dead with a small look in my direction, she slowed her horse. I dropped through the air and onto the grass behind her, running a little with the momentum of the gas. Guthrie landed beside me.

"Nice work, corporal!" He said, face full of admiration. I sniffed and approached my horse. He began calling his own, which trotted over to us. Once we had all mounted again, I scanned the horizon for the squad. With a grunt of annoyance, I loaded a yellow colour grenade and fired it into the air. We began to trot in roughly the direction our squad had gone, until eventually a yellow flame soared into the sky in response.

"Let's go." I muttered, following the signal.

Once we were under way again, I took a glance at Lena. She was panting heavily, face slightly pale. Even so, she was okay. Scared, yes. However, not many people could face the titans with a straight face on their first expedition. This was normal. My eyes then observed Guthrie, who was equally panicked, but still looking forward.

"That was amazing, corporal." He said. "One swipe and that was that!"

"If the rear guard had done its job, I wouldn't have had to get involved and lose my squad." I grunted back, irritated at this turn of events. If the brass found out I'd lost Eren, we could lose our hard-fought possession over him. Even worse, who knew what he'd do without me there. I'd put my trust in Mikasa, but I'd seen on numerous occasions Eren's rebellious nature towards her. He wouldn't easily follow her initiative.

The faster we travelled, the nearer we got to them. Despite this, we still hadn't spotted them due to the heavy, thick line on the horizon. Upon closer inspection, it seemed to be a forest. The line of trees was dark and unyielding. I'd lost all sense of direction to dictate whether it was the same forest as before, but nevertheless, it still stirred some bad memories within me. Eventually, we were close the the tree line and could make out ant-like soldiers dashing around the tree tops. Titans gathered the at trunks of the trees, attempting the climb them. One of the soldiers saw us coming and immediately ordered the clearance of titans from one area. I ordered our small section to change direction and we swiftly swapped to 3DMG. I landed beside the squad leader and turned to address him.

"What's going on?" I demanded. The tall, older looking man sheathed his swords.

"Half of the legion disappeared inside. We were ordered to stand on the edges and prevent the titans entering the forest."

"Just like before." I said, not necessarily to him.

"I received instructions from Squad Leader Hanji to pass onto you. As far as I know, she passed them on directly form Erwin."

"Go on."

"Prevent the titans from reaching Eren, she said."  
>"Is that it?" I scoffed.<p>

"Her exact words were, 'tell the short-ass corporal that Erwin says prepare for a repeat of before and prevent the titans from reaching Eren'." He reiterated.

"A repeat of before?" I mused. "Keep up the work." I nodded to him, moving over to another tree where Lena and Guthrie stood, looking down into the jaws a of a slavering titan. Did that mean we were expecting Eren and the female titan to transform again? And for that giant stampede of titans? "We're going in deeper." I announced, calling my horse behind the defence of the other squads. Triple checking that it was void of titans, I zipped down beside it and mounted it again. When they had done the same, we set off deeper into the woods.

"What's going on, Levi?" Lena asked, pulling up beside me. I noted that she had lost her fear of the horse.

"As far as you need to know, we're expecting a vast amount of titans to come running like lunatics into the forest soon. It's our job to stop them."

"How big is vast?" She frowned, not looking at all pleased.

"One for each of your mood swings." I replied, attempting to lighten the mood. For a second, she was dumbfounded. Suddenly, she snorted to herself and cracked a weary smile.

"I'd prefer one for every meter tall you are."

"There's going to be at least one that goes for you, anyway. I hear they like the taste of bullshit."

"Surely they'd be attracted to you then?" She smirked. Her jokes were at a level lower than usual, coupled with nervous laughter. Though at least she was trying.

"I can't believe you two are winding each other up, even now." Guthrie muttered, astounded. "You're like a married couple."

"More than you two will ever be." I remarked, gesturing between them. He turned a stunning shade of rose, then stared accusingly at Lena.

"I haven't said anything!" She responded, holding her hands up in defence. With a jolt from the horse, her hands shot back down again as she tried to regain her balance. I raised a curious eyebrow.

"What am I missing?" I asked, intrigued. Guthrie was blushing furiously. It took me less than ten seconds to click. "You like her?" He jolted and I knew I was bang on. I snorted to myself. "Poor you."

"Hey!" Lena grunted. "Anyway, what's it feel like knowing you have competition, Levi?" She grinned, proudly. If she expected me to get all defensive of her and try and woo her to choose me, she was in for a shock.

"Competition?" I scoffed.

"Don't be so self-centred." She retorted. "I could easily fall into the arms of another man, you know."

"No one's mad enough to fall in love with you."

"Clearly, they are."

"Even so, you won't fall for them." I cast her a glance, smirking slightly. She raised her eyebrows, enjoying our banter despite the situation.

"Why not?"

"Because you've got a strange fetish for irritable corporals with foul mouths."

"... You missed the 'short' part."

"Shut up."

"And the 'obsessive compulsive' part."

"I'll come over there."

"And the 'neurotic clean-freak- WAH!" Lean narrowly dodged a low lying branch and swung in her saddle, off balance. Her fingers grasped for grip at the reins, before she pulled herself upright again. With a huff of embarrassment, she scowled. Guthire let out a chuckle and even I grinned.

Our jokes were short-lived, however, as I spotted another squad in the tree tops. With a few quick hand gestures, I commanded us to switch to 3DMG and soon we were in the trees amongst them.

"What are your orders?" I asked.

"To stay here and prevent titans entering the forest any further, sir!" I nodded- exactly as I expected.  
>"Alright. I'm assuming command here and I'll be merging my squad with yours."<p>

"Y...Yes, sir." The man replied, uneasily.

"Levi." Lena stepped beside me, Guthrie close behind. I climbed further up the tree and hooked myself into a position where I could see the whole of my new squad.

"Hm?" I said, thoughts preoccupied elsewhere.

"Do you know what's going on?"

"No idea." My gaze scanned over the soldiers below, counting them and recognising faces vaguely. Once I had a hazy idea of the squad, I looked across at Lena.

She was staring at me, eyes worried, warm eyes looking unusually hard. A trickle of sweat ran down her forehead and she wiped it away quickly, hand shaking.

"Take a deep breath." I ordered. "You look like you're about to wet yourself." With a sigh of exasperation, she turned away and cast her eyes down. She lifted an arm up and rubbed her neck. I started for a second, nostalgia erupting inside me though I couldn't pinpoint why. I took a good, long look at her, before it click in my head. When I remembered, I smiled internally. During the first few weeks after I'd met her, she had a nervous habit of rubbing her neck. After she'd broken her arm, she'd stopped doing that. Seeing it again instilled some sort of warmth inside me- familiarity. "Lena," I began, waiting until she met my eyes before continuing. "I won't let anything happen to you." She jolted in surprise, before the tension left her body slowly and she relaxed into a smile.

"Nothing's going to happen anyway, idiot."

**AN:**

**We are slowly drawing to a close and I'm so excited because I have NEVER finished a story before. In my life. Ever. Knowing my luck, I'll break my computer or something before I post the last chapter. Anyway.**

**Prepare your emotions for the last bit. Next chapter, things start getting manic. I'm just deciding whether to post massive chapters (since I've written it all now except a few paragraphs in the middle) or normal sized chapters. We'll see how things play out.**

**I've drawn one of the scenes from my next chapter so I might post it on my devinianart and put the link up. I also drew the original ending months ago, but I changed the ending when I actually wrote it (no surprise there). I really want my own cover picture of Lena and Levi for this story but I'm crap at art myself :'(**

**Moving on, I have been in tears over the last few days re-living my childhood love of the film Spirit: Stallion of the Cima-whatsit. How can an animation for children about horses be so damn emotional?! And how amazing is that soundtrack?! I've had Bryan Adams on in my room for the last few weeks, having a solo concert to myself. **

**I don't know if I have already said this but I also watched SNK abridged and OMFG I cried of laughter. I'm not joking when I say that I've already watched it 8 times. It never gets old.**

**ANYWAY- thanks for reading up until this point! I love you all and thank you for your reviews! Once I've finished this story, I'll go through and edit mistakes so if you see anything, let me know!**


	27. WE ARE THE HUNTERS

How had things changed so quickly?

One minute, we were hovering nervously, making light conversation in the tense atmosphere. The next, a flash of lightning followed by thunderous roars pierced the air. And now?

We were being bombarded with a hoard of titans, desperately running, crawling, trampling their way through the woods. I was barely keeping up with the mental count in my head and new titans were always appearing behind me every second.

"Our orders are to prevent the titans reaching Eren!" I called, burying my sword in the neck of a titan and feeling it's hot blood splash across my cheek. They just kept coming and coming. The last time I'd seen something like this was when the female titan had called them before. The disgusting things just kept running with their ridiculous expressions, desperate to get to Eren. "What the fuck is going on?!" I cursed, splashes of titan gore searing my skin.

Adrenaline burned though me and with every slash, I only became more irritated. In the pit of my stomach, I felt a sickening dread; not knowing what was going on deeper within the forest made the ball of lead sitting in my gut to grow heavier. I shook the feeling swiftly and continued my attack. There was something else bothering me too... My thoughts were quickly ripped away as I spotted a soldier - well, half of one - jutting out of the mouth of a titan. With one huge, sickening gulp, there was nothing remaining of him. I shot my eyes away with a scowl that could shatter diamonds, brow darkening in grief that I quickly tried to throw away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lena dive through the air and swoop behind a titan. She drew her swords afresh and carved at the tendons on it's ankles. It fell like a broad tree, moving too slow to protect itself as it crashed to the floor. "Don't slow down!" I yelled, driving three of the beasts to the floor and dropping into the safety of a tree. I looked at the carnage below... despite our speed and numbers, they were outnumbering us. A few of them were slipping through our defences. I cursed under my breath, firing off and dropping back into the air.

By the sound and feel of it, I didn't have much gas left. The screeches of gas ripping from my gear as I flew became higher pitched and tinny. The others would soon be running out and we had no supplies to refill with. This wasn't the usual do or die crisis; we were all going to be left stranded without horses or 3DMG- regardless of skill, luck or experience. My eyes flickered to Lena as she landed not too far off to inspect the belt of her 3DMG. She tugged at it, experimentally, before checking the gas on her 3DMG. Then, she looked over to me with an expression that read- 'we're in shit'.

"I know." I grunted to myself, tearing through the napes of more titans and hearing the countdown in my head ticking away... tick, tick, tick. You'll run out soon, Levi. What are you going to do? What's your choice?

I saw another man die, crushed by the palm of a titan and callously tossed into the bushes. Just another body to the pile. A scream erupted from Lena's mouth and my eyes darted in her direction. She was safe, but it seemed like she knew the man I'd just seen die. I cast my eyes back over to his body and spotted a familiar head of blonde, cropped hair.

Guthrie?

Shit. "Lena! CONCENTRATE!" I bellowed, trying to get my voice to pierce through her thoughts. Indeed, it shocked her back into life and she looked over at me from where she was hanging against a tree. Suddenly, her eyes widened, lips parting in a warning.

I felt something grab me and crush my ribs. I'd been caught. I was so caught up in the affairs of other people that I'd let down my guard. I gasped for air and felt something crack as fingers continued to curl around my torso. Pain ricocheted through me."LEVI!" Lena screamed, tears flowing down her hot cheeks. I didn't know if she was crying for me, for Guthrie, or for all of this confusion. I tried to move my arm from within its grasp but its strength was too great. A darkness began to creep into my vision, probably from lack of oxygen. I cursed through the pain and felt my head begin to loll forward. But, all of a sudden, I was released and felt myself falling. Lena changed course and caught me, losing most of the control of her manoeuvre gear due to the extra weight. She managed to safely fire high into the tree tops, though we both heard an ominous crack.

I panted, trying to steady myself as she leant me against the tree. The blackness in my vision was forced to retreat and soon I could see again. A burning headache ripped through my temples.

"Levi! Levi! Are you okay?! Levi, are you-"

"I'm fine!" I coughed. Lena wouldn't stop stuttering and patted my cheeks with her hands.

"Y-you're pale! How are your ribs?" She asked, frantically checking me for injuries until I grabbed her by the wrists.  
>"Lena." I said, trying to get her to hold my gaze. "Lena, look at me." Her eyes tentatively stopped racing about and concentrated on me.<p>

"W-what's up? Do you feel pain? Can you breathe? We need to get you to a medic... do we have a medic?" She was pale and beads of sweat dripped from her forehead. She was going into shock, I decided as I felt her hands quiver.  
>"Lena, calm down."<p>

"I'm f-fine." Oh sure, face as white as paper and brain unable to force out a string of words but yes, you're fine.

"Take a deep breath. You're panicking."  
>"There's no time to calm down. Do you think Guthrie's body is recoverable?" She glanced away and stood up, pulling her wrists from my grasp.<p>

"Oi, listen to me."

"I can see it. It's relatively clear over there." She prepared her swords and set her targets. I remembered the crack and looked at her belt.

"Oi, LENA! NO!" I tried to sit up, but felt a sharp pain shoot up through my whole torso. It felt like I had been stabbed and as I put my hand to my stomach, I realised my shirt was wet. Blood. But I had no time for that. I had to get Lena to stop. Her gear was damaged.

I was too late. Lena fired the piston and dropped into the air. She didn't realise anything was wrong, until the gear had to take her weight as the line straightened and all of a sudden, her belt cracked open and the wire snapped. She fell. I forced myself to lean over the edge and aimed one piston at a nearby tree to steady myself, my arm stretched to its limit. I aimed the other at Lena. At this rate, she'd hit the floor; after such a huge fall, it was impossible that she'd survive. She tumbled over and over. I couldn't get a clear shot of her leg. I realised I'd have to chance it, and fired.

The jolt nearly tore me from my spot in the tree and I felt my rib rip further across my torso. A fresh splash of blood warmed my stomach and trickled across my skin. Through the haze of my vision, I saw Lena dangling just above the floor from my wire...

Someone was coming from the right...

...Shitty glasses?...

...I guess, I could leave it up to her...

...I could trust her...

Darkness robbed me of consciousness.

**HANJI-**

It was utter chaos. I entered the battlefield searching for Levi. The place was literally crawling with titans, and the legion flew like ants with wings, taking them down as best they could whilst being squatted just as easily. I searched frantically for Levi to issue the withdraw signal. Eren was safe, but I hadn't any signal flares to call for a retreat.

That was when I saw it. Lena falling through the air head first, frantically tugging at the trigger on her piston grip. Gear failure? The reality that I couldn't get there in time forced me to look away, and in doing so I saw Levi. He was gritting his teeth, aiming his piston towards Lena and searching for an opening to save her. In the end, he fired blindly and hoped. I returned my eyes to Lena and watched as the piston safely dug into her thigh, showering the air with blood. She'd be injured, but saved. Especially since I'd bought the supply wagon. We could stop the bleeding and- THWACK.

My thoughts dripped out into nothing as I watched the wire tighten and take her weight. Too late. The recoil carried her body on... and her head cracked against the floor.

It was likely that she died on impact...

Especially with the way she hung there so lifelessly.

I glanced up at Levi, but saw that he was slumped against the tree trunk, unconscious. I ordered one of my men up to bring him down, and halted my horse next to Lena's body. "All of you, stop here and search for the rest of the squads! Order them to retreat, then come back!"  
>"Yes sir!"<p>

I sawed at the wire holding Lena's body aloft and gently laid her onto the floor. I checked her breathing and her pulse... but it was already clear from the amount of blood on her crown that she was gone. Her eyes were still wide open; they weren't looking at anything in particular. Soon, the nearby titans would be upon us so without time for care or grieving, I bundled her body into the back of the wagon, unable to get over how much heavier it felt. One of my squad members carried Levi on, too. It was the first time I'd ever seen Levi look so fragile. There was a flower of blood blossoming across his white shirt and his lips were even paler than his face. We quickly checked for breathing and to my relief, he was okay. Broken rib with punctured skin and losing blood like water in a desert, but okay. For now.

My squad returned and mounted their horses again. We raced out of the forest and I saw our convoy enlarge out of the corner of my eye as others joined us. Not by much though. We had clearly lost many.

Again.

"Squad leader Hanji." Erwin pulled his horse across and his squad merged with mine.

"Erwin! Levi's down! He's got a broken rib and it had ruptured his skin."

"Will he live?"  
>"I've got anyone first aid trained helping him. We've staunched the blood and he's breathing fine, so he should make it back."<p>

"Good. Then let's hurry and hope we don't encounter any problems on the return."

"Is Eren conscious?"

"He's not. The female titan disappeared and eventually we got him to calm down. I just hope she doesn't decide to try again."

"So do I. We're severely lacking in numbers."

We continued riding at full speed along the open plains without a titan in sight. Erwin soon decided to take a break, so we halted all horses and dismounted for a chance to rest. I gulped down a flask of water and poured the remaining drops over my face. It wasn't often that I got as stressed as I was now and it was important that I calmed myself before we set off again.

"Squad leader Hanji!" someone called and I span around. "Corporal Levi is waking up." A lead weight dropped in my stomach. Damn him for being so enduring. Now was the worst time for him to wake up.

Because... I didn't know how to tell him.

**LEVI-**

I couldn't tell if I was awake or asleep, but I guessed I was somewhere in between. The pain was 100% real though, I knew that. I'd feel the bump as whatever I was riding on ran over uneven ground and a spark of pain would reignite in my relaxed state. So, I was still alive then? After several attempts to wake myself up, I finally succeeded in forcing open my eyelids which felt like they were glued shut.

"Corporal Levi?!" I realised I wasn't moving and that there was a person leaning over me. _Stay still... Stop swaying... _They hurriedly moved out of sight and as I tested the lackadaisical mobility in my hands and feet, someone else came to my side. A familiar voice helped me to come to.

"Oi, clean freak." She said, her tone somewhat sombre.

"Hanji?" I muttered, twisting my head and squinting at her. A million and one questions sprang to my mind, so I decided to let her speak instead. "Fill me in."

"We're still outside the walls. Eren's safe and the female titan has disappeared. We've stopped to rest." I nodded, unable to emit any other kind of response with the amount of pain searing through my veins.

There was something else I needed to ask- I knew it. I tried to concentrate on the world, but it was swimming so much I couldn't hold onto a single thought in my head for more than a second. Then, I remembered. I remembered Lena falling and me firing at her. I remembered it stopping her fall- she was likely to have one major gash in her thigh now. She'd never let me live it down.

"How's Lena?" I asked, grateful that I was now somewhat conscious and could now see Hanji clearly. I received no reply. I waited in the silence and my attention was drawn to her downcast eyes. "Hanji?" She'd heard me. I was certain.

I tried to sit up but the weight on my chest was too great and I was drained of energy. My eyes bored in Hanji's trying to read her face, ignoring the sparks of dizziness in my vision. She simply looked down at her knees, as though waiting for me to understand without words. It was clear that she wasn't willing to express what had happened aloud.

"Oi!" My eyes widened in despair. "Speak, shitty-glasses!" I ordered her, words spat out like venom.

She did not, confirming the worst case scenarios spiralling around my brain.

That meant-

"But I saved her-" I said weakly, watching Hanji stay as frozen and emotionless as a statue as realisation began to dawn on me. A harsh reality that I didn't want to know. There was a sickness knotting my stomach- and it wasn't because of my ribs. Just how bad was it? Was she bleeding severely? Had she lost her leg? Did she have amnesia? Was she in a coma?!

"She hit her head on the ground... Either the force of the hit on her head or the whiplash on her nervous system... One of them killed her instantly. She didn't feel any pain." There was a silence as the words seeped into my brain slowly, painfully slowly. All the pieces took an age to click into place and even then, they didn't seem to fit.

… "_Killed instantly"_...

"... I see." I said, turning my gaze to the sky. A calmness descended over me. Maybe it would be better to describe it as an emptiness- a freezing cold emptiness that numbed my whole body. I stared at nothing, lying back down onto the cart's wooden frame again. Clouds swirled in my vision and I felt streaks of ice freeze down my face, rolling fluidly off my chin. Hanji turned away and removed her glasses to clean them with the sleeve of her jacket. "I see." I said again.

I remained staring at the sky as we began to move again and in what felt like no time at all, I succumbed back into a cold darkness and fell unconscious once more.


	28. How the Mighty Fall in Love

A rush of people busied themselves around me as I sat blankly staring at the corpse at my feet. Hanji had revived her body and here it was. I didn't care for the mud dirtying my knees, simply collapsed by the object before me. It was strange; I felt dead. Why wasn't I feeling anything?

We were back within the safety of the walls and the bodies were being laid out for inspection, wide eyed medics recording names. One woman I recognised approached and she met my eyes with similar recognition. After all, this wasn't the first time I'd had to identify bodies. She spoke out of formality, but there was no need. By now, I knew the procedure.

"Corporal." She greeted.

"Lena Hertz..." I commented dully. "105th intake." I lifted my arm, exhausted by even such a small movement, pointing to a body further down the line. "Guthrie Eisenberg. Same intake."

"We've lost many from that intake." The woman shook her head sadly whilst scribbling away."

"Any one of interest?" I asked. She was expecting this question, as usual. It meant, had we lost anyone important? For example, the deaths of any squad leaders or special operations squad members were always reported immediately to the higher ups. It was a callous way to say it, but whichever way you danced around the subject, it only lead to one conclusion.

"I believe one of the new squad leaders also died." She flicked over the page until her eyes landed on what she was looking for. "Stein Auz has died and Omega Smidt." Tick, tick, tick. I laughed internally. How many people did I know who were still alive? I nodded in reply and she bowed before continuing on her way.

My eyes finally returned to the white sheet of skin before me. It was becoming tinged with blue and her fingers moved slightly as the muscles hardened. The movement captivated me as I dreamt she was alive. There was no harm in checking, right?

My fingers found their way to her wrist and I waited for some type of response. Closing my eyes, I desperately tried to feel something. Anything. A pulse. A beat. A breath. I shifted my grip a dozen times, trying to find anything at all. All of a sudden, I detected a gentle throbbing. My eyes shot open and I felt my the blood in my head drain away like water. There it was, a soft throbbing under my thumb. I jolted and looked around frantically. I saw Hanji a few bodies over, looking at me with pitiful eyes. There wasn't any time for that. With my astonished expression, her eyes blinked in bewilderment.

"Hanji!" I croaked. She dashed over and knelt beside me.

"F-Feel!" I commanded, gesturing to her wrist. Hanji regarded me slowly. I desperately grabbed her arm and forced her to feel. She waited with her hands on Lena's wrist, glancing at me with an emotion I couldn't read. "I felt it! A pulse!" I stammered over my words, brain whirring into life again.

"Levi..." Hanji gently put her arm down and shuffled to face me. I felt frustrated with her. She hadn't even tried to find a pulse. Still, she forced me to look at her and took a deep breath. "Calm down, Levi. It's unfortunate but..." She bit her lip. "You probably felt your _own_ pulse. There's no way she can be alive. Look at her."

I did.

For the first time since I'd collapsed by her side, I did.

I absorbed her blank expression, open brown eyes a shade I'd never seen before. Her mouth was ajar, lips shrivelled- a pastel pink. Her eyes were darkened in their sockets. I ran my hand through her hair, letting it drop lifelessly onto the floor beside her in an earthy halo. I touched her skin which had lost his elasticity, her cheeks which were no longer tinged with rose. Her skin was cold but not like ice, just a sort of object-like lack of heat. I leant over her, fingertips searching her skin, trying to find a remnant of the old Lena. _My_ Lena. I didn't like this one. I didn't like how such an emotionally unstable brat could be so unresponsive.

I gently dropped my forehead so that it touched hers, resting against her.

"It's time to burn the bodies." A medic announced from behind us, callously disrupting me. I ignored her.

"Give him a while longer." Hanji pleaded, voice barely above a whisper.

"The bodies must be disposed of quickly or they'll spread diseases." The woman responded. She moved beside me and knelt down so that I could see her. "Sit up. We need to move her."

Maybe I should have argued back. Maybe I should have pleaded to stay with her longer. Maybe I should have said my goodbyes to her body, taken a lock of hair or kissed her lips for the last time. I didn't. I simply sat back obediently and allowed them to pick up her body. I stared at the floor, vaguely feeling Hanji's hand resting on my shoulder as her body was removed from my sight.

"Humanity will keep moving forward." I heard her words echo in my head, filling the empty void. "We won't let them say they died in vein."

…

**KURT-**

I impatiently stormed the medical room, searching. Desperately searching. I'd been told that neither Guthrie nor Lena had been seen, and I couldn't find them in the dorms. I bashed into people- doctors and prematurely discharged patients still bleeding from their gaping wounds, placed lower on the priority list due to a lack of beds to deal with the increasing demand for the medic's attention. Sickening sights surrounded me, but the twisting in my gut was initiated by another panic. I hadn't found them yet. My eyes scanned the series of beds until I came across one mobbed by nurses. I strained to see past them, ignoring the panicked shouts for more help and barrage of people rushing along the narrow corridor. Eventually, one of the nurses moved aside, stepping back from the patient. I saw the patient. I saw _her_.

"L-Luann!" I gasped, rooted to the spot.  
>"It's too late." A doctor announced. "Move onto another patient." And with that, the mob quickly dispersed. Two people remained and began to bundle her body into the sheets, taking her away and immediately pushing another screaming person onto the bed.<p>

"Wait!" I stammered, grasping the arm of the nearest nurse.

"Did you know her?" She asked, remorselessly. My hands shook and I felt my face pale. '_Did _you know her?' "We're taking her outside where she'll be lined up and accounted for. Make sure you report her name and squad."

"I-!"

She was hurrying away before I could catch my breath. Luann. Gone? I watched the two nurses struggle with the dead weight wrapped within sheets. They disappeared from the room, followed by another two nurses carrying another deceased soldier.

I shook my head briskly, taking a deep, shuddering breath in. Find Lena and Guthrie. Move on.

I had stumbled down every ward and not seen another familiar face. My feet dragged me outside where I tried to suppress the vomit curdling in my stomach. It seemed they weren't injured. Could I raise my hopes? Did I dare? I ran a hand through my hair and cursed a thousand times, sweat trickling down my forehead and into my eyes. A surge of vomit made me gag.

"You're Kurt Jung, right?" Someone said softly from behind me. I span around, breathing sharply. I felt my airways constrict as the panic within me continued spiking. Don't talk to me in that pitiful tone; it scares me. My breath was wheezing and it took a moment for me to reply.

"Y-yes, sir." I looked up finally and saw Hanji. Her eyes were dull. She didn't say anything; we were locked into a silent clash of thoughts as I refused to understand what her eyes were telling me.

"W-which?" Internally, everything was crashing down. "Which of them?" For a moment, she averted her eyes, clearly pained. Then, she braced herself and reinstated her own emotions so that she was empty. I was staring into eyes void of anything. She replied, lips forming words that I couldn't hear over the throbbing of my own blood in my head and the wheezing of my own breath. My mouth gaped as the sound flooded back to me and my brain comprehended her words.

"Guthrie Eisenberg and Lena Hertz... have fulfilled their duties and died serving humanity."

…

**LEVI-**

Looks like I was back to this again- in another lost comrade's room, sorting through their possessions. Except this time, she meant far more to me than just a comrade.

It was around a month after the expedition and times had been hectic. All sorts of secrets were being revealed, with traitors crawling out of every corner of the walls. The mass funeral had been postponed due to the mayhem, but now here I was in Lena's old room. My ribs were almost healed... they were the only part of me that had repaired. I was partly glad for the mayhem, as it had distracted me from the past for a short while. For the last four weeks, I had felt empty, waiting for the moment when reality would slam into me and I'd lose myself. Occasionally, I'd see her out of the corner of my eye or look at something and think of her. I'd frequently go to the top of that stupid fucking hill... and find myself looking for her.

It didn't feel real. I'd known her less than a year and yet suddenly she was in every aspect of my life. I hadn't slept in my room for the last month because there were too many remnants of her keeping me awake. My eyes had always been darkened, but every time I looked in the mirror now, I saw a thick haze of lack of sleep lining my eyelids. Every time I looked in the mirror, someone I couldn't recognise gazed back at me blankly.

I opened her wardrobe and pulled out one of her spare uniform jackets. "Another for my collection." I noted, dryly. Just how many times was I going to let people slip out of my life? My fingers rubbed the material and I found myself bringing it up to my face. I took a deep breath in, reminiscing in her scent that still hung on to the material- barely. "Lena." I sighed. "You fucking brat." I felt the presence of someone stood in the doorway, half-turning to see who it was. A girl with short, brown hair; Lena's room mate. She gestured to Lena's bed.

"She wrote some note. It's under her pillow." I nodded in thanks, waiting until she had left the room again and closed the door, before I hung up her jacket and closed the wardrobe. It didn't take me long to find the envelopes hidden under the pillow- one was addressed to me. I paused, wondering if I really wanted to read it.

Then, I began to tear gently at the seal. I knew that if I didn't open it now, curiosity would only get the better of me later. I took out the folded note, almost laughing at how clumsily she'd folded it with the ends completely out of line. With a deep breath, I opened it the A4 sheet.

_Dear Heichou, otherwise known as the midget clean-freak,_

_If you're reading this, I can call you that. If you're reading this, then excuse the cliché but this is something of a dying note. If you're reading this, then I'm dead._

_(If not then close this now, you idiot!)_

_I don't really know what to write. As for now, I guess I'll just talk about you. At the moment I'm writing this, you're drunk and passed out in your room and I'm in my own room praying that you're not going to choke on your own sick in the night or something stupid. The expedition is soon. As you know, I'm not going on it. I'm confident you'll come back alive, because you're strong. You're skilled and fast. You're experienced. And if you dare leave me alone in this world, then I'll kill you again._

I lowered the letter and swore under my breath. "You're talking about me leaving you when you're the one that's gone."

_When we met, I thought you were going to scold me. I was taking a time out on my favourite hill, instead of socialising at the passing out party. The reason was I'd just argued with Luann, my favourite person in the world (read that with sarcasm please). I'd had enough and taken a stroll, which had led me to where it always did._

_The first time I found that spot was by accident, believe it or not. I was wandering around looking for HQ after getting separated from others during training and just happened to pass over it. _I smirked heartlessly, thinking about how little she had changed even before I'd met her. _When you joined me on that hill top, it took me a while to recognise you. Your reputation is far different from reality. For one, you're not a heroic, tall and muscular man with a great sense of justice. You're a midget clean freak who can stand people as much as you can stand dust. _"As always the foul mouthed brat." _And yes, I'm going to insult you in this letter. Because I can- jump on my grave, I dare you._

_Once I saw your broad shoulders, I realised who you were. You told me you were 'just Levi' at that moment. Confusing as that statement may be to others, I understood what you meant. When I'm up there, I feel exactly the same. When I'm up there, all responsibility escapes me and I can rest without worries- from up there, you can almost taste the freedom._

_Make no mistake, I'm here with you now, reading over your shoulder and hoping what I've written isn't as embarrassing as I remember. You can't get rid of me that easily. And I'll continue to haunt you until you join me, but if you join me before your time then I won't forgive you._

_Speaking of forgiveness, the last thing I want to say is that I want to take this opportunity to use my second forgiveness card. Forgive my selfishness for telling you like this, but Levi-_

_I'm in love with you, you midget clean freak. Don't you dare reject these feelings now that I'm gone either! You have my permission to date another girl, but if you ever forget me, I'll put horse shit in your bed every night. Got it?_

_Lena._

I stared at the letters, no longer reading them. Second forgiveness card? What did she mean-... oh.

"_I guess you'll have to repay me somehow." I said. Lena frowned._

"_How?"_

"_Let's see..." I faked thinking deeply. "One day slave pass."_

"_No way."_

"_Who said it was a choice?"_

"_You'll just make me clean all day!"_

"_So?"_

"_No." She said, strongly. I shrugged, feeling Eren slip slightly from my grip._

"_Then I won't forgive you."_

"_This is blackmail."_

"_Exactly."_

"_But you-!" She cursed, getting frustrated. "Oh fine! One condition!"_

"_Why is this suddenly something to negotiate?" I huffed, listening nonetheless._

"_One slave day accounts for forgiveness of TWO occasions. This, and one other in the future."_

"_You're such a petty bitch." I spat. "Deal."_

"_Deal." She agreed, grinning. I looked at her gaping smile and sighed._

"_Why do I feel like I'm going to regret that?" Lena just snickered._

"Sly bitch." I sat down on the edge of her bed before my legs collapsed from under me. "I won't fucking forgive you. I won't." Gritting my teeth, I fought back the pain but it didn't take long before my hands were shaking and tears dripped from my chin. I wiped at them furiously. "Damn brat. Why can't you just follow orders?"

Out of all the people in the world, out of all the soldiers in the legion... why her? Why hadn't I protected her? One second of concentration lapse and this had happened.

I felt myself breaking down. All the emotions I'd held in since the moment of her death till now spilled out of the tightly sealed box I'd forced them in. Dropping onto the cold, concrete floor, I pounded my fist down, harder and harder. I called her name over and over, not even caring for the pathetic moans that escaped my lips.

The pain didn't subside. It felt like it never would.

And on that chilling stone floor, I wished I'd never met her that day.

…

_Soaring-_

_Feeling like you've reached the top,_

_drunk on your own ecstasy,_

_submerged in a fast flowing river of hormones_

_and then you fall._

_Falling-_

_Just when you feel you can't _

_Fall any more_

_The pit grows deeper and deeper._

_It's a trap._

_A cycle of agony,_

_A cycle of agony._

_You realise the light that had kept you_

_ afloat_

_in this well of nothingness has been_

_extinguished._

_A crooked love that vanishes as quickly_

_as it forms:_

_If you ask me, two's a whole lot lonelier than one._

**END.**

完成した**.**

**AN: I wasn't going to write an AN, but you've all been shouting at me so I thought I'd clear some stuff up-**

**There IS a sequel; it's a reincarnation in the REAL world, of which there will be flashbacks and references to this story. Sorry for being mean, but at least it isn't over, right?;)**


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